


Cupid Rolls His Eyes

by CupidWriter



Category: Magda Eriksson - Fandom, Pernille Harder - Fandom, Pernille Harder and Magda Eriksson, Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Football, Slow Burn, Soccer, woso - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 03:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 83,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20482277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CupidWriter/pseuds/CupidWriter
Summary: A fictional version of events inspired by the real life football fairytale that is Pernille Harder and Magdalena Eriksson.





	1. I See Everything You Can Be

**Author's Note:**

> Big fan of soccer.... But these girls just made me a big fan of love. 
> 
> Please note this is entirely fictional. Kept the main idea and tried my best to keep many of the details and timelines accurate, but there's also many that aren't so apologies don't @ me please.
> 
> Wrote it as a friendship one shot, will probably go slow burn to lovers as I add chapters, lemme know if anyone wants it!

It starts with the high hopes. Every year, every new season, you slowly start to build that dream. Be better than last year. Progress further. Score more goals. Stay injury-free. The life of a professional soccer player is strictly seasonal, and no one knows that better than Pernille Harder. In her fifth year of professional soccer, she’s become accustomed to the yearly cycle. In the end, the outcome will be black or white. Victory or defeat, trophies or nothing. A vicious cycle but one she wouldn’t trade for the world. She understands football. There’s a reason she’s one of the best at it.

It begins gradually, as it always does. A nice winter and spring spent with the national team and some holiday time before returning for her second year at Linköping. She walks into the first morning of preseason with quiet excitement. In stark contrast to last year, the now-familiar sight of the training ground welcomes her back. 

She’s first here as always, and in the silence of the gym halls, can’t help but let her mind wander to those she’s left behind in Denmark once again. Slipping into the locker room and locating her usual space, she pins up the pictures of family and friends. A reminder who she’s doing it for, and that little bit of inspiration she’ll need when things inevitably get tough over the coming months.

Changed into the new training gear, she’s halfway through stretches by the time the rest of the team start to trickle in. Technically everyone is early, so there’s plenty of time for catchups. If she’s being honest, it’s all a bit forced. Yes, they’re teammates, and of course she considers them friends, but for some reason, she never really clicked with any of the current squad.

Granted there’s a certain familiarity that comes with spending a year together that allows most conversations flow, but on more than one occasion Pernille finds the small talk frustrating. Pleasantly answering vague questions about family and vacation, hardly groundbreaking topics between friends. 

Yet when the talk turns to football Pernille realizes she’s missed them. The insights, the excitement. No one understands it like teammates and with that, she accepts the reunion hugs and high fives on their way out to the field. They’ll be her family for the coming year. She hopes they’ll do great things together.

Once the squad hits the field and gathers in a circle awaiting the coaches brief, she scans her current company and takes stock of the players. The usual suspects are all present, a couple of bench players are missing from last season, but what really catches her eye is the two new faces chatting quietly. Both blonde, pretty, definitely Scandi, they’re standing close together and speaking amongst themselves. The new signings, she realizes with a smile. Nothing like some fresh legs to raise the bar. 

There were rumours they’d be strengthening the defense and midfield, maybe even a striker to finally give Pernille some help up front. They both seem vaguely familiar, but Pernille looks away when one of them throws a quick glance her way. Scanning the rest of the group she eventually spots two former teammates making their return to the club after a year abroad. Reinforcements, she definitely feels a strong league challenge in this squad’s future.

“GOOD MORNING ladies, welcome back to Linköping, and welcome back to the start of a brand new season!” that first-day enthusiasm easily raises the coach’s voice.

The group breaks out in immediate applause, a few cheers rising from the more energetic personalities. Once the noise dies down, he continues with his address. Standard things, a positive recap on last year’s achievements, and an immediate challenge to take the club to ambitious new heights this year. It’s generic, but Pernille listens. Despite being so young, she’s already become influential in the squad after last year’s personal success, so she hopes to maintain professionalism and set a good example, visibly showing respect for the manager and what they’re trying to achieve.

But she’s only human after all, and just as she starts to zone out after ten minutes of the speech, the best part of this morning begins. She hears the words “new players” and immediately tunes back in.

The coach is beaming now, clearly delighted with the business done by the club over the transfer window. 

“As always, the club backs our ambition, and I’m delighted to announce the two new players we’ve added to the squad to strengthen key areas and really take us to that next level.”

The entire group turn their attention to the two new blondes standing to the manager’s left. He throws a reassuring smile their way and begins the introductions.

“In attack, we’ve added a cool finisher with some serious height, that will no doubt be lethal for set pieces! Frido Rolfö, a Swedish striker, is joining us from Jitex.”

The tall Swede gives a brief wave with a pursed smile and grateful incline of her head to acknowledge the rapturous applause welcoming her. Doing a once over of the player, Pernille likes the idea of her already. The complete opposite type of striker to herself, their attack will be much more complete now. Finally someone built to get on the end of her crosses. Their aerial threat just skyrocketed.

Pernille then turns her attention to the remaining blonde. She’s stopped staring at the ground, and now that Pernille can get a good look at her face, she’s certain she’s seen her before somewhere. Not knowing where will bother her, she’ll have to figure it out later. One thing she notices is she’s definitely young, probably around Pernille’s age.

The coach jumps straight into the next introduction.

“And last but certainly not least,” he throws a playful smile over at the player “we’ve managed to sign one of the best young prospects Sweden has to offer. Central defender slash fullback, Magdalena Eriksson is joining us from Djurgårdens.” 

Again, the squad breaks out in warm applause for Magdalena, who seems rather nervous. She offers a tight closed mouth smile and glances nervously around the group with a panicked nod of acknowledgement for her welcome. 

Pernille is very excited about these two additions. One to help her and one to test her, they’ll be hugely beneficial to her development. She can’t wait to get started. 

After the coach gives final instructions to introduce themselves individually to Eriksson and Rolfö throughout the day, he dismisses them inside to complete the preseason medical fitness tests. 

Pernille is about to make her way over to meet them, but the new Swedes already seem popular, swarmed by a group of players chatting excitedly and welcoming them as they head in towards the gym. Upon a closer listen, it’s the current Swedes in the squad that clearly already know the new girls. Makes sense, national teams can be a small circle, especially through the underage brackets.

The preseason tests are always tough. Designed to measure your current athleticism, it gives you a starting point to improve upon for the season and highlights areas needing attention. In the gym they measure body fat, flexibility, vertical jump, leg strength, and balance, amongst many others. Pernille is happy but unsurprised to see she’s testing highly in each. She puts in the work, nothing is left to chance. But she also realizes the real goal with preseason tests, it’s to get them over with. Once they’re done, the actual work can begin.

Pernille doesn’t notice the new signings again until they’re all making their way back out to the pitch for fitness tests. She spots Rolfö a couple of people ahead, so she picks up pace and introduces herself with a beaming smile. 

“Hi, I’m Pernille Harder, I’m a striker too, really looking forward to us playing together!”

She’s a little taken aback when Rolfö just throws her eyes to the heavens and laughs. 

“I know who you are! Everyone in Sweden knows who you are! You score LOTS of goals, I’m excited to help you score more!” she says with a sure smile. 

Pernille likes her already. That confidence is exactly what you need in a strike partner. 

“Defenses don’t know what they have coming.” Pernille winks, her own confidence already through the roof, imagining just how lethal they’re going to be. 

“You know it, Pernille. I’ll forgive the fact that you’re Danish if you win us a league title” she jokes, and Pernille nods and has to laugh at the humour. They’re going to get along just fine.

It’s not until they finish the dreaded bleep test, she realizes she still hasn’t introduced herself to Eriksson. Pernille won it, again this year. It wasn’t even close this time, her national team training definitely paid off. But Eriksson was one of the last ones left, so once she catches her breath, she peels herself off the ground makes her way over to her on shaky legs with a spare water bottle.

Eriksson is a bit away from the group, sitting on the ground, stretching towards her toes and trying hard to recover. She looks up with a grateful smile and takes the bottle offered down to her with a quiet “thanks”. Even in her exhausted state, she still somehow looks nervous. Pernille puts on her kindest smile and offers her free hand to pull her up.

“Hi Magdalena, I’m Pernille Harder, welcome to the squad.” She says as warmly as her out of breath voice can manage.

“I already know you, you’re fantastic” she holds her eyes for the first time so Pernille thinks she means it “and please, my friends call me Magda… It’s shorter.” She finishes with an awkward smile. 

Friends. Pernille could use some friends. Up close, even with her face red from all the running, Magda is very pretty. Bright green eyes, kind smile, soft-spoken, quiet demeanour. An almost angelically delicate bone structure, exactly the type of face you could trust. Someone who would make a great friend. Pernille hopes they’ll become just that. 

“Well, Magda,” Pernille playfully emphasizes the new nickname “I’ve heard some good things about you too. The coach had pretty high praise in your introduction, I’m looking forward to seeing some of it in training.”

“I’ll try my best.” Magda smiles wider at her now, unreserved and Pernille thinks she’s getting somewhere. 

They begin their tired walk back across the field to join the squad for the end of session stretches. They chat a bit about how she’s settling in, and Pernille notices an important detail. All-day, mainly going off first impressions, she’d thought Madga was rather standoffish, chalking it down to new club nerves. The more they talk, the more she realizes, she’s really just shy. For the rest of the day, and on the way back to the dressing room after training, Magda talks freely to Frido and the Swedes. Whenever Pernille speaks to her, she’ll reply confidently, she just won’t be the one to initiate it. 

That conversation pattern repeats for the rest of the week. Each day they’ve more gym and fitness training, it’ll be two weeks before a ball is kicked. Eventually, the slight breakthroughs start to come during these long sessions. It starts small, with some conversations about training and the brand of football Linköping is known for. Then it ventures more broadly into football as a whole. Next, it carried back to the dressing room, with the girls chatting about their plans for after training and their lives outside of football. The pictures hanging in Pernille’s locker provided a great conversation starter. Madga asks about her family, prompting Pernille asks her about her own. Turns out they’ve very similar footballing dads, both highly influential on their coaching and career management. One more thing in common.

Before they know it, Pernille is hanging out with the new signings outside of training, watching Premier League and La Liga most evenings. She was surprised the first time she got an invitation. Having Sundays off, she mentioned she was planning on watching Manchester United’s Derby match with City and Frido was quick to inform that she and Madga had the exact same plan. Naturally, she suggested they all watch it together. Pernille was hesitant at first, this was further than she’d gotten with any of her other teammates in terms of hanging out unprovoked. But when Madga chimed in and suggested she’d also cook them dinner, her smile when Pernille said yes removed all doubt.

And so, it became tradition. Every time there was a match worth watching, Pernille made an appearance at the Swedes shared apartment. Rolfö’s outgoing personality consistently bridged the gap between Magda’s receding shyness and how new Pernille is to their dynamic. In just two weeks, despite them being the new kids, they’ve somehow adopted her in with open arms. The more time they spend together, the stronger their friendship becomes. With the increase in proximity and sharing most evenings together, a natural closeness grows. Soon enough, they’re the first people Pernille looks for when she walks into the dressing room. They’re the ones that’ll seek her out in between drills just to chat. If she’s late to lunch, you can guarantee Madga has saved her a seat. Simple things, but they mean a lot.

It’s a welcome change for Pernille. Last season she spent far too many nights alone in her apartment. To go from the support network of her whole family and boyfriend, to jumping countries at 19 to a place where she didn’t really know anybody well. It was hard. It was lonely. And within the two short weeks Magda and Frido have been with them, she’s glad those nights look to be behind her.

Her happiness translates onto the field immediately. When the first pitch sessions kick-off, Pernille is sharp as ever. The linkup play with Frido took about a week to sort out, but once they learned the movement, it really began to flow. Frido found her rhythm and confidence remarkably fast. Playing with two high strikers will be the new tactic this year, and if their conversion rate in training is anything to go by, there’ll be plenty of scoring.  
On the opposite side of the ball, things are not so good. Magda is struggling. It’s been 3 days of defensive drills and she’s yet to get a block in on Pernille. Simple mistakes, hesitations, overthinking every tackle. The coach is getting frustrated, Magda was supposed to be the key for this defence. Galvanize it. Yet she’s playing some of the worst football of her life.

The girls all rally around her of course, encourage her, cheer her up. She insists she’s fine, just frustrated with herself. But performance is something that needs momentum, Pernille knows that. Three weeks later and it's only deteriorating. She’s playing average at best, and that’s the last thing this backline needs. After a particularly poor showing by Magda in the last drill of the day, Pernille asks her to hang back while the rest head inside. She sits on a football, and gestures for Magda to do the same. 

“What’s wrong?” Pernille dives straight in, it’s the elephant in the room and it has to be addressed. 

“Nothing is wrong, I just can’t seem to do anything right.” 

She opens her mouth like she’s about to say more, but closes it again and avoids Pernille’s eyes. The frustration is etched across Magda’s scowl. It’s the same scowl she wears whenever she loses a match. Right now, she’s just losing at football. And she absolutely hates it. 

Pernille regards her for a moment. She’s not usually one to keep quiet about a problem. She’s bottling something. Pernille isn’t getting the whole truth and she knows it.

”Well, there has to be a reason things aren’t going well. You’re better than this. Is it the club? Is it the teammates? Do you not want to be here?” 

Pernille knows what she’s doing. She’s hung out with Magda enough now to start to understand what motivates her. What drives her. For someone as competitive as Magda, one of the things she absolutely cannot stand is excuses. She doesn’t believe in them. So Pernille knows exactly how to get to her, she makes the excuses on her behalf. It provokes the desired reaction.

“NO!” it comes out louder than she meant, frustration boiling over as she continues a little quieter “No it’s no one else’s fault. Don’t blame people. Or course I want to be here. It’s not the club… It’s not the team…. It’s… It’s me. It’s me, alright?” 

Pernille says nothing, watching on in silence as Magda sighs at the ground, before finally looking up to meet her eyes. Pernille offers a reassuring nod. 

“I’m… I’m scared.” The admission is whispered, she drops her panicked eyes back towards her boots. Shoulders hunched, she looks defeated. 

“Scared of what?” Pernille prompts softly. 

The answer comes after a few moments. 

“You.” It’s so sure. So certain. She says it with unwavering conviction. 

“… Me?” 

Pernille’s confusion only lasts a second, Magda steels herself, looks up and elaborates. 

“I’m scared of you. Your confidence. This club. The standards. How am I meant to play against someone as brilliant as you? How am I meant to compete with that? Everyone on this team is amazing. World-class even. The standard is so high, I just… I don’t know if I’m good enough.” 

She’s holding Pernille’s gaze now, her eyes are wide and pleading. The quiver in her voice gave it away. She’s scared. Pernille instinctively reaches out across the space and squeezes her hands. It’s a side to Magda she hasn’t seen. One so unlike her usual sureness. Pernille is quick to try to restore it. 

“Magda listen to me, it’s not like that. This club, these girls, that’s not what we’re about. You’re amazing. I watched the tape on some of your games last year, you’re fantastic, a leader, and a damn great defender. You saved that team a hundred times per game.”

Magda hadn’t really been listening until Pernille mentioned watching her old games, the surprise was enough to get her attention. 

“The only one who doubts you’re good enough right now is yourself. The coaches believe in you. Your teammates believe in you. It’s not like your old team, you don’t have to be the best here.” 

Pernille is on a roll now. She hates seeing wasted potential and she’s not going to let Magda of all people doubt herself into oblivion. She’s better than that. 

“But dammit Madga you have to compete. You have to find the confidence to compete. Where’s the fight, huh? How many times have I faced you this week and you’re yet to even put a tackle in on me? What about Frido? You haven’t even tried. You need to stop showing us so much respect and start showing yourself some. You owe yourself that much.” 

It’s a lot. It’s an absolute stripping down but Pernille thinks it’s exactly what Magda needs right now. Some honesty. Some faith. Someone to change the perspective and remind her of who she is.

Magda hasn’t lifted her eyes from Pernille’s shoulder since she started talking. She’s burning a hole in it. Jaw set, body tense. It’s when she finally hangs her head that Pernille intervenes.  
Slipping a hand under the sharp jawline, she tilts her head back up to meet her eyes. Unshed tears are glazing over Hazel green, but she doesn’t look away. 

“When I arrived last year I was just as scared as you are. We’re the same age, I know it’s a big step, I know it’s frightening. But the one thing that got me through, is this team needs me. Now this team needs you, Magda. They need the real you. The one who screams commands til she’s hoarse and throws herself into crunching tackles like her life depends on it. We need that passion. We need that leadership. This team needs you, Magda, and it’s time you start believing it.”

Pernille finishes with a hopeful smile and nods encouragingly as she quickly wipes away the two stray tears that trickled down Magda’s cheekbones. 

“Ok,” Magda whispers, looking shy again, offering a bashful smile at Pernille. “Thank you.” 

It’s enough acknowledgement for Pernille to pull her into a tight hug. A moment later they’re both falling to the ground, slipping off balance from the footballs under them. 

That’s earns a laugh from both, breaking the tension and seriousness of the previous conversation. Pernille is first to stand, pulling Magda right up after her. 

With a glance at the empty football pitch, Pernille gets an idea.  
“C’mon, bring the ball,” she says casually, skipping off towards the edge of the nearest penalty box. 

She sets it down a few yards outside the box and turns to look at Magda arriving after her. 

Standing with hands-on-hips, one foot on the ball, she instructs “Get in position.” 

“Position for what?” Magda stands still.  
With a dramatic sigh, Pernille grabs her by the jersey and drags her to a few yards in front of the ball.

“For defending.”

No sooner has she the words said but Pernille launches into a dribble towards Magda. As she approaches, Magda instinctively bounces into action, but she’s too late, Pernille has already slipped passed her and fired a shot easily into the bottom corner. 

She jogs, collects the ball, and returns to her previous position before looking up at Magda. 

“Again.” 

Magda gets closer the second time, but the speed and footwork is almost dizzying. She lunges for the ball and suddenly it’s not there. She hears the net rattle again.

“You’re diving in too quickly, your weight was on the wrong leg so I can just slip it the opposite side and shoot, you give yourself away so try to keep your balance even.“ 

Pernille returns to her previous position with the ball and nods, before relaunching the attack. Again. And again. And again. 

“Half of it is about trusting yourself. The other half is executing the decision you just trusted your instincts to make.”

It’s old advice she heard from a youth coach once, but she sees an immediate improvement and ups her game as Magda adapts. 

It’s a tough 1 on 1 scenario for Magda. Pernille is notorious for clinically converting them. But that also means she knows plenty about how only the best defenders manage to stop her. In her constant quest for improvement, she’s studied it. So, in this scenario she can actually share feedback from both sides, instructions on what she’s doing, and advice on how best to negate it. 

She offers all this advice to Madga, who’s visibly improving. She takes the feedback seriously and adapts to the adjustments quickly. Each run she fixes something, Pernille will exploit something else. It’s a steep learning curve and a tiring one. But then, comes the breakthrough. 

It’s about to be the 20th run through, and the final one they’re doing. Magda hadn’t gotten a single block strong enough to prevent a goal, and Pernille thinks she needs a little motivation. She knows just the thing. 

“OK. Last score wins. Think you’ll manage to stop this one? Or are you going to spend another night being a complete loser, hm?” 

Pernille throws in a smirk with the challenge blazing in her eyes. She knows it’s cocky, but she also knows it’ll light the competitive rage inside Magda once more.

“Bring it.” Magda almost snarls, face immediately more serious.

Pernille launches the first few yards like the rest, watching both the ball and Magda’s feet for any tells. She’s disappointed when Magda makes the same mistake she corrected on the first run, weight on the wrong leg. Without a second thought, she shifts the ball the opposite side, but this time, the outcome is different. She feels a strong forearm against her chest, restraining her progress, and the split-second off balance is enough for Magda to boot the ball clear. 

Pernille stands bent over panting. She can’t believe what just happened. Absolutely no way Magda rebalanced herself in time… Unless…

“You tricked me. You feigned left because you knew then I’d go right, so you only had one side to defend…” 

The disbelief brings a smile to her face, she looks up when she hears Magda laugh.

“I improvised. Got ya good though didn’t I Harder?” The smirk quickly melts into a more beaming smile, positively delighted with her quick thinking. 

It brings the same kind of smile to Pernille’s face. 

“You did. You really did. Glad you finally put a tackle in, I could get used to that. A challenge for a change. Thought we’d be here all night at the rate it was going. “ 

Magda laughs at that too as they collect the balls and walk side by side back towards the changing rooms. 

“Thank you, though. Really. I learned a lot. You’re brilliant.” 

Magda bumps their shoulders as they walk, grateful but trying not to be too sappy about showing it. 

“Good. Anytime. Hopefully, we’ll see some of that in training tomorrow then?” 

Pernille just wants to remind her that it was a small victory and that she’ll have plenty of work to do in training to continue improving. They all will. 

“Definitely. Tomorrow will be a different day.” She says it with confidence.

“Good, can’t wait.” Pernille throws a wink and silently prays that Magda will find her form tomorrow. She doesn’t really have plan B for helping her. This kinda has to work as far as she’s concerned. That thought makes her anxious. 

When tomorrow comes, it’s a day blazing with sunshine. An Azure sky, slight breeze, the type of weather that makes you happy about life. 

Happy is the only word she can use to describe the feeling when Magda hits the ground running at training. It’s like she’s a different person. She’s playing hard and smart. Making good decisions, reading the game, and she seems to have found the confidence to back herself and contest every duel, winning the majority of them. 

The team jump on board immediately, hyping up every positive defensive play she makes. It’s all gathering momentum, and Magda is playing with the biggest smile on her face it’s heartwarming. There are freedom and expression in her movement that can only be attributed to confidence.  
It carries into the training match they play, Magda now giving Pernille a hell of a time, haunting her with pressure every time she’s in possession. 

Pernille has skill and speed to burn, but with Magda unleashing her full physicality and trying to outmuscle her to every ball, it’s an entirely new challenge for Pernille and one she’s craved for a long time. They never had that physical of a defender before, and it’s exactly what she was looking to improve upon. It’s a great battle, and one Pernille ultimately wins, but at least she had to work for it.

Frido waltzes up to Pernille during a drinks break. She stands for a minute and squints at her face, suspicious. 

“Alright, what did you do to her?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Magda. And how she’s suddenly remembered how to defend again. What did you do?” 

“I helped.” Pernille shrugs, she’s not in the mood to elaborate. Magda was fragile yesterday, and Pernille doesn’t think anyone needs to know about that. Everyone deserves their moments of weakness. She’ll keep that moment between themselves.

“Well, you sure did.” Is all Frido says before the second half starts. 

By the end of training, and the second last week of preseason, everything is starting to click, finally. That’s reflected in the coach's mood and the players' enjoyment of the sessions. No one enjoyed that session more than Magda, who slides up to Pernille after stretches and pulls her into a surprise hug. 

“Thank you. For everything.” She whispers into her hair. 

Pernille pats her back reassuringly as she pulls away. 

“Anytime… Welcome back.”

Even Frido laughs at that, as they all head inside more content than ever. 

With these two by her side, Pernille can’t wait to see what a new season has in store.


	2. My World Gently Shifts, You Sneak To It's Centre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo all I can say is wow.
> 
> This is the first fic I ever wrote, I thought like 10 people would read it. I logged in and checked yesterday and genuinely could not believe we're almost at 1000 hits. The power of Hardersson!
> 
> Sorry this took so long, I didn't know people cared! I'll try be quicker with the next one.
> 
> And shoutout to the people giving kudos and especially the nice comments, they made me so happy!
> 
> Belated Happy Birthday Captain Magda :)

In general, Pernille would like to consider herself organized. Particularly in anything relating to football, she takes her career seriously and prides herself on being the ultimate professional. She's never late, she religiously sticks to her fitness and diet plan, and she always gives 100% at training. She has a mental map of every training session and match scheduled for at least the next month. She might forget friend's birthdays or where she left her keys, but when it comes to football, Pernille is on top of things.

Well, most things. Two days before the opening game of the season, she waltzes into training at the usual time, only to find herself one of the last there. It's loud. It's frantic. People are huddled around mirrors and reapplying makeup and fixing their hair. The realization hits her with a groan.

Picture day. And she forgot. 

She slips through the huddles unnoticed and throws her bag near her locker, annoyed and feeling entirely underdressed. 

She wouldn't mind if it was just a normal profile headshot. While that may be the case for some people, there's no way she'll be able to wiggle out of the promo pictures. After last season she's become somewhat of a poster girl for the club, and she's not naive enough to think she'll be let off easy today. 

She's sitting there, wallowing in her mistake, pointlessly checking her kit bag for the makeup she knows she didn't pack. It's useless, she has nothing. She doesn't even have her away jersey with her. Stupid. 

She usually doesn't even care about her looks that much. There's just something about having to live with your face plastered on social media, on club marketing, on as many random promotions as you can think of, and have that sickening feeling that it's not a good picture. It's incredibly uncomfortable when you don't feel prepared. 

She must've been pouting too loudly, Magda appears almost instantly. 

"Why do you look so sad?" 

Pernille looks up and feels her stomach drop even more. Magda clearly remembered what was on today. Her hair is down and straightened, and her face looks even more stunning than usual with a tastefully applied amount of makeup. Now it was Pernille's turn to worry that she couldn't compete. 

"I forgot it was picture day, and I don't have any makeup." 

Magda looks confused for a second. 

"Why do you need makeup?" 

Pernille just scoffs at that. Someone as beautiful as Magda wondering why other people need makeup, there's irony in there somewhere. 

"Everyone else has makeup! I'm going to look awful in comparison!" 

Magda looks like she's still not getting it. She's intensely scanning Pernille's face but shakes her head in defiance when her search comes up short. 

"But you look beautiful even without it? I don't know why you think you need it, you look great Pernille, you always do."

Pernille knows Magda's being nice. She knows she's being that supportive friend who unconditionally tells you you're gorgeous even if it's not particularly true at that moment. She appreciates the sentiment, she just doesn't believe it. 

"That's nice of you Magda but I don't believe you, and I'd reallyyyy appreciate if I could borrow some of your stuff before we get called in." 

Magda frowns at that, like she's not happy with Pernille rejecting the compliment. She gives in and returns with the makeup bag, but not before setting the record straight. 

"Here use whatever you like, but you really don't need it. Genuinely, I'm being serious here. No amount of makeup in the world could rival them blue eyes Pernille, the rest of aren't so lucky."

Pernille laughs, half flattered and half sceptical. She looks away from applying mascara to see Magda's sincere expression, and it's just the confidence boost she needs heading into this shoot. 

It goes well overall. The pictures actually turn out cool. In contrast to herself, Magda doesn't seem to mind being in front of the camera. Must be the confidence of having a face that photogenic. Pernille arrives in the middle of her session, and immediately starts making faces and doing weird dances behind the camera to ensure Magda breaks from her seriousness and cracks a genuine smile. Glancing at the monitor, Pernille thinks she looks happiest in those. The most like herself. She hopes the club use them ones for everything. 

The entire team enjoys a good laugh when Pernille has to borrow Magda's away jersey for her own pictures. A teammate joked that it'd be the only time someone named Eriksson would be capable of scoring a goal, much to Magda's indignant protests. Once they've changed back into the home kit, they wander outside and take the official team photo. 

When Pernille finds it printed in the matchday booklet two days later, her heart feels warm at the sight of her standing in between Magda and Frido, all of them beaming. Last year's smile was probably a bit forced. This year, it couldn't be more authentic. 

The first few matches come and go. Once they get started, the season starts to fly. They win some games, but it becomes clear early on they're not yet strong enough for a title challenge. But that's ok, they're in a transitional building phase. It's about getting as much out of the season as they can and setting a good foundation for success next year. Training each week passes in a blink, Pernille's newfound friendship with Magda and Frido grows stronger every day. But for Pernille, it still takes some getting used to. 

Personal space between girls is a funny thing. Having grown up playing with the boys and training with the male academy teams, Pernille almost forgot what it was like to have close female friends. All of the boys, even the ones she considered best friends, were always overly conscious of making sure they respected her space, especially outside of training.

Magda and Frido, however, have no such concerns. It takes a readjustment period for Pernille to become comfortable with so much physical contact in a non-footballing context. The girls have no issue with readily initiating contact, let alone making it affectionate. She's used to the hugs and high fives after goals. No one prepared her for the casual platonic intimacy close female friendships entail.

Part of the strangeness is Pernille probably being touch starved. She's away from her family, her boyfriend only visits about once per month and she isn't that close to anyone in Linköping. Well, she hadn't been. 

It began with Magda sitting beside her on the bus trip to their first away game. It was a long couple of hours, and Pernille's legs started to cramp. The second she mentioned it, Magda reached down and swept the two legs up across her lap, letting Pernille lounge across both seats. Pernille tried to protest, Magda wasn't having it. 

"It's fine, stop overthinking it! Can't have you cramping, you'll only use it as an excuse if you don't score." the smirk says it all, so Pernille rolls her eyes and tries to relax her muscles. 

In an unspoken agreement, they sit beside each other for every away trip. They spend most of their time chatting or playing some frighteningly competitive card games against Frido and whatever teammate sat across the table. 

After a couple of weeks, Pernille decides to switch it up and bring her laptop. Having only brought one pair of earphones, she panics a bit when Magda asked if she could also watch whatever she was watching. Unsure how to proceed, she hands Magda the earphones. 

Magda is quick to untangle them, plug them in, place one in her right ear, and offer the other one to Pernille sitting inside her. Pernille takes it sheepishly, embarrassed that the concept of sharing never crossed her mind. They stay like that for the entire movie, thighs and shoulders touching, arms tangled across both their laps, heads tilted together to facilitate the setup. 

Even after Pernille brings a second set of headphones for the next trip, Magda doesn't entertain the idea. 

"There's no need, it's more fun to share. This way we can talk too." 

Pernille can't argue with that.

As the matches wear on, some away trips get longer. It's on the way back after a tough physical match that Magda's iron facade starts to crack. She ends up nodding off. As a deeper sleep hits, her head starts to drop. Luckily for her, Pernille's shoulder is right there to catch her. Pernille just lets it happen, closing her own eyes and trying to keep her shoulder nice and comfortable. They sleep soundly for about an hour before a sharp turn jerks them awake. 

Pernille had apparently also fallen into a deep sleep, her head dropping to cradle Magda's between hers and her shoulder. It was cute. Or so their teammates say, providing picture evidence of the pose, looking so peaceful together. They just smile at each other and Magda shrugs unbothered before nestling back into Pernille's neck to continue her nap. 

Frido is a cuddler. Something Pernille learned during their now traditional movie nights on the couch. All three would be tucked in under a blanket, Pernille usually in the middle. She jumped the first time she felt Frido's hands snake around her ribcage and pulled her in. 

"What's wrong with you? I just wanted a hug." 

Frido pouts at the overreaction, yet wraps her arms tighter around Pernille's torso as if to emphasise her point. 

"I'm sorry! I'm ticklish in that spot!" 

Pernille hadn't realised how dangerous of an admission that would be. Magda took note instantly, proceeding to employ that tactic every time she wanted to get her way. She even tried it in training a few times, knowing the effect would be Pernille instantly dropping to the ground to shield herself, while Magda escaped with the ball. The coach didn't even constitute it a foul, much to Magda's delight.

Even on the pitch, there's a certain softness to how they interact. She talks the most with Frido, having a constant stream of communication to plot their next attack or adjust positioning. Even if Pernille gives a bad pass or takes a poor shot, Frido will make a point of drawing her attention to it, but will immediately offer encouragement for the next one. They're honest with each other, and it works. 

She sees less of Magda, being on opposite sides of the field. Pernille usually watches from near midfield while her team defends, ready for a blistering counterattack. She probably hears Magda, more than she sees her. Barking instructions, screaming at the backline, throwing herself into violent but clean tackles. Corners are the only time they see each other regularly, either Pernille helping to defend, or Magda and the other centre half making an appearance in attack.

Of course, there's always the goal celebrations. It doesn't matter if Pernille scores 5 in a match, Magda will make the trek from the back to celebrate with her and Frido, it's never surprising when she gets dragged into her unmistakable hug. Magda loves winning and Pernille has a habit of scoring to put them in winning positions, so Magda makes sure Pernille understands how much she enjoys it, squeezing the hell out of her whenever she gets a chance. 

It's not all glamour though. With goals, comes the tackles. Pernille is one of the most fouled players in the league. The pace and footwork makes defenders just hack at her legs, better concede the free-kick than the goal. It doesn't matter much, she can score free kicks just as quick. But sometimes it gets dangerous. The red card tackles are especially painful. One in particular springs to mind. 

Racing on a counter-attack, one defender to beat, definitely having the pace advantage, she flicks the ball passed and begins the chase at full speed, only for the defender to slide and completely take her out. The ball was well gone, she just hit her with both feet, studs up, barely below the knees. The speed and momentum throw her in the air, before hitting the ground with force and rolling awkwardly for a good few metres. It's like her legs just got hit by a car, completely swept out from under her, and she didn't have time to brace for impact or save herself. 

Once her own scream in agony fades after the initial contact, it's immediately replaced by the screams of her teammates at the referee and the opponent. Frido is first there, kneeling beside her and waving in the medics immediately. Pernille is afraid to open her eyes. The stinging pain in her legs still pulsing from the hit. 

Somewhere in the distance, she can hear Magda absolutely screaming at the referee. 

"WHAT THE FUCK, SHE COULD HAVE ENDED HER CAREER! THEY'VE BEEN DOING THIS TO HER ALL GAME AND YOU DID NOTHING ABOUT IT, WHAT ABOUT PROTECTING PLAYERS? THIS IS FUCKING DISGRACEFUL." 

OK, Pernille thinks, so it probably feels as bad as it looked. If Magda ran all the way up to curse at the ref, it must have been serious. The medics are quick to check her legs, nothing broken, just some nasty gashes from the studs. And judging from the numbness, definitely bruising tomorrow. She's lucky.

Eyes squeezed shut, she's still grimacing in pain as they complete the checks, poking at important ligaments and patching up the blood dripping from the cuts. 

She feels a hand gripping her side and one caressing her face. 

"Pernille, hey Pernille, I'm here, are you alright?" it's Magda's voice, soft as she's ever heard it. 

She opens her eyes and the concern etched across Magda's face frightens her a bit. Jeeze must've been a really bad tackle. She looks a mix of devastated and scared. Pernille tries to sooth it immediately. 

"I'm fine, I've had worse... I'm used to being tackled by you." she forces out through a gritted smile. It's not the time for jokes but she just wants to break some of the tension. She doesn't need Magda to worry. 

Just as Magda's face starts to smooth out in relief, it blazes into anger. 

She's up and immediately in an opponent's face, squaring up. 

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Pernille didn't hear it, but Magda is seething. 

The other player looks smug. 

"You heard me. I said she dived. Shouldn't have been a red, yellow to that princess for cheating maybe." 

Watching on from the ground, Pernille is helpless. She's never seen Magda look this angry. She looks like she's an inch away from killing that girl. She's not blinking. Her teeth are clenched so hard her jawline is white. Fists balled at her sides.

"Watch yourself." it's a threat and Pernille knows she absolutely means it. 

She steps into the player's spaces and gives her an almighty shove.

A scuffle of pushing kicks off then but Frido has restrained Magda from doing anything stupid. The ref breaks it up, and the two help Pernille back to her feet. 

Pernille would be lying if she said she didn't laugh when only five minutes later, Magda goes out of her way and absolutely smashes the same mouthy player in a borderline tackle. She got the ball but definitely made sure she got the player too. Magda slowly stamps out over the player's legs on the ground, body language all attitude, nodding down at her in a complete power move, but Pernille enjoys it. She smiles when Magda glances up the field to find her eyes and gives a solemn nod. She likes that Magda has her back, she really values that kind of loyalty. When she offers a coy thank you to her after the match, Magda's smirk says she knows exactly what's she's being thanked for. 

"Anytime, Pernille." It's a promise.

It gets to a point where Pernille become completely comfortable initiating contact with the girls too. It's weird for her, simply because it's something she hadn't done much before. But she makes a conscious effort to show the girls just as much affection as they show her. She loves their friendship, and it's become highly important in her life. She likes how close they've become. How little boundaries there are. It's comforting to have that kind of support around you, that no-nonsense, second nature unconditional care. 

After training one evening, she's about to leave when she hears the massage physio call her name from down the hall. 

"Hey Pernille I need to run across the other medical room and grab a few things, Magda's in here on her own, will you keep her entertained while I'm gone? It won't take long." 

Pernille agrees readily, she knows phones are banned from treatment rooms, so Magda will no doubt be bored immediately.

Dropping her kit bag outside the door, she slips into the bright fluorescent light. These rooms are always eerily hospital-like, so the stereo in the corner plays some chart-toppers at a reasonable volume to offset that. It's loud enough that her presence hasn't been noticed. 

Magda is lying face down on the treatment table in a sports bra and shorts, patiently waiting for her leg muscle massage. 

Pernille is about to announce herself, but gets an idea. Walking on her tiptoes around the table, she crouches down and slides herself under it. She can see Magda's face fitted through the hole in the table. Her eyes are closed. She's singing along softly to the music. 

Once Pernille settles herself in position, her face lined up with Magda's, it's time to surprise her. 

She reaches up and bops her on the nose. 

Magda's eyes fly open and she lets an uncharacteristic squeal. 

Pernille is laughing hard while Magda tries to figure out what's happening. 

"What are you doing?!" 

"Saying hi." Pernille shrugs through her giggles. 

"From under the table?"

It a weird position, now that she thinks of it. To have Magda hovering over her like that. But it's funny. 

"You looked comfortable, I didn't wanna move you." 

"Ok and not that it isn't lovely to see you, but why exactly are you hiding under my table?"

"Oh, Tara asked me to keep you company while she's getting other supplies" 

That seems to be a better explanation, Magda doesn't have further questions. 

"You don't have to stay, I know you were heading home." 

"Nah it's fine, it's more fun to stay here and annoy you anyway." 

Pernille takes the opportunity to reach up and start trailing a finger along the contours of Magda's face. 

Over her forehead, down her nose, along her cheekbones. She doesn't know what compelled her to do it. It's just so symmetrical. 

Magda lets her do it without complaint, just staring down patiently at Pernille's own face. 

She's about to touch near her lips when she feels Magda's breath hitch, so she pulls her hand back and returns to poking at her sharp cheekbones. 

"You have very nice bone structure." It's a factual statement, with a deadpan delivery. 

Magda snorts at that. "Why thank you Pernille, my mom gave it to me." 

"When did you say she's coming to visit again?" 

"Sunday, final game of the season." 

"What moisturiser do you use? Your skin is very soft." 

"Nivea." 

"Is your dad and sister coming too?" 

"Yeah, and my girlfriend." 

"Aw cute, you should do something nice for them. Dinner or something. Your dad would love that new Thai place." 

Pernille had met the family a few times now, they try to come to as many home games as possible. 

She wasn't exactly shocked the first time Magda mentioned a girlfriend. It's pretty common in women's soccer, so it's something that becomes less and less surprising every time you hear it. 

Pernille met the family briefly after the first home game. The parents are quite like her own, football fanatics. Especially the dad. Magda's dad had made her blush with all the footballing compliments when they met. His praise was glowing, calling her a genius and a future best player in the world. She laughed it off awkwardly, looking to Magda for help. But Magda nodded along dramatically and animatedly agreed with her dad just to embarrass Pernille. Unhelpful. 

Magda got her revenge though. When her own family and boyfriend made the trip to visit later in the season, Pernille had her own dad briefed on what to say. She's never seen Magda get so red in her life, cheeks flaring as he aggressively added outrageous compliments about how wonderful a player she is. Payback is a bitch. 

Just as Pernille continues to reminisce on their first meetings with family, the physio walks back in with an arm full of massage gels. 

She cuts the music, jolting both their attention. 

"Am I interrupting something?" 

There's amusement in her voice, clearly bewildered at their current positioning. They laugh in response and Pernille peeks out at her. 

"Nope, not at all. I was just keeping Magda entertained while you were gone, you know how much of a diva she can be." 

Pernille throws a cheeky wink up at Magda's mock offended expression, before sliding out and back onto her feet. 

As Pernille readjusts her hoodie collar, her cold fingers brush her neck. The floor was freezing, so she gets another idea. 

As Tara is thanking her for the favour, Pernille reaches down and places her two icy hands firmly onto the muscles of Magda's lower bag. 

The effect is instant. First the muscles coil. Then a split-second reaction similar to if she'd stabbed her, Magda's girly screech and wiggly jump to scramble away from the contact has them all in stitches. 

"Pernille I swear to God I'll kill you." 

"Nahh you'd miss me too much. See ya later for Dinner champ." 

With a final condescending pat on her leg that causes her to flinch, Pernille says her goodbyes and heads home.

When she's home she gets a reminder email about their flights in two weeks. The majority of the squad are heading to Thailand for some much-needed sun during the winter break. She didn't really enjoy the team holiday that much last year, she was still pretty new and didn't know anyone very well. This time promises to be different. It's been a long season, and with two wild Swedes for company, she knows they'll all let loose and enjoy themselves. It'll definitely be an experience.


	3. I Like How We Shine Brighter In This Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little something to brighten up your Monday :)
> 
> Basically I tried to see just how much Hardersson fluff i could squeeze in.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos on the last chapter, it was a nice confidence boost for my writing, I tried to make this update even longer than the last!

The sun hits, before everything else. The heat, the humidity, they're not in Sweden anymore.

Vacation is a lawless thing. There's just something about being in a new place that provokes the most reckless side of you. The wild side. Pernille can sense it in the group immediately.

Touchdown in Thailand signals the start of the drinking. They throw their bags in their hotel rooms and head straight to the outdoor bar to sample the cocktails.

It's been about a year since Pernille had a drink. There's an unofficial ban on it during the season. And for good reason, even just one single night of heavy drinking can obliterate your fitness levels. They're encouraged to have a couple of drinks maybe once or twice during the year. If there's football awards or formal club dinners, an exception will be made.

But even then, Pernille isn't tempted. Sacrifices are all part of the journey to greatness. She'd rather completely commit herself to peak football performance, and that means never jeopardising her fitness during the season. That also means that when the season is over, she completely lets loose. 

"Are we starting with shots?" Frido asks excitedly to the group, returning from the bar and handing out drinks menus to the squad of about 20 who've made the trip. 

From her seat beside Pernille, Magda leans into her space to look at the menu they're sharing. The font is pretty small, so they have to get close to make it legible. 

"I think I'd prefer a cocktail to start. What do you reckon?" 

Magda, always sensible. Shots on an empty stomach seem like a terrible plan. 

"Yeah definitely. Something exotic. Which one would you like?" 

Pernille turns her face slightly to gauge what Magda's thinking, and in the process somehow gets her sunglasses tangled in Magda's hair. 

The yelp of pain as she tries to pull away causes them both to freeze, before the delicate untangling effort begins through the giggles. 

"Jeez Pernille don't they have sunglasses in Denmark?" Magda teases as Pernille takes off the sunglasses and starts to free the blonde strands caught in the hinge. 

The whole table is watching on now and laughing as an embarrassed Pernille tries to be as gentle as she can untangling. Magda is being a good sport, keeping her head bowed and staying still, giggling along with everyone. 

Still getting used to being the centre of attention in the squad outside of football, Pernille is trying hard to find a witty comeback for Magda's joke. But the blush in her cheeks at everyone watching causes her to just shyly apologise once she's freed it. 

"Sorry I didn't realize how close you were." 

"It's alright P, not your fault you were born clumsy."

Pernille rolls her eyes at the running joke. Yes, she's clumsy. Yes, she falls over her own feet most days. It's getting old. 

Magda isn't finished making fun of her though. 

"You're just so creative! Always finding new ways to be a dork. Drinks are on you, as an apology."

The smug wink lets Pernille know that Magda's joking and will no doubt insist on buying the next round.

Pernille shoves her shoulder anyways as she gets up to head to the bar. 

"Shut up. What do you want?" 

"Surprise me, whatever you're having." 

Right as she's about to grab the drinks from the bar and leave, two hands sweep in and carefully take each from her grasp. 

It's Magda, grinning and looking a little bit guilty. 

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of everyone, are you OK? You got really red."

Pernille smiles at the genuine concern, but brushes it off, she's not afraid to laugh at herself. 

“It’s fine, it was actually funny.”

She reaches out to take her drink back, but Magda carefully pulls them out of her reach once more and starts to head back to the table with a wink.

"No offence Pernille, but you'll probably drop them.”

They alternate like that for a few rounds, sampling a different drink each time. The squad, on the other hand, are drinking a mix of shots and beer. After a couple of hours, the noise levels start to kick off. It's time for some food to soak it, Pernille and Magda suggest they all head to a restaurant in a different part of the resort. This one is on a balcony, overlooking a fantastic view of mountainous jungle as far as the eye can see. 

The food is incredible. Platters upon platters of colourful dishes. Pernille loves Thai food but doesn't even know the name of any of these meals. The taste is phenomenal. As athletes who really appreciate good wholesome food, this is a welcome change from the usual protein and carb intensive meal plans they repeat daily. This tastes like freedom. 

With the comfort of knowing they have two full weeks to explore the place, the squad are happy enough to return to a different balcony bar with the backdrop of the sunset. 

Pernille is lounging across one of the couches near the firepit. Sipping her latest drink, she's tipsy now but doing far better than basically everyone else. She scans the various states of partying the squad is in around her. Dancing. More shots. Drunk heart to hearts. Some passionate but off-key singing. It's weird to see everyone in their summer clothes. Shorts and tee-shirts. Sunglasses. These are things that don't feature often in Scandi fashion. It's nice to see the team enjoying themselves. 

Magda returns from the bar and hands Frido and a couple of their especially drunk midfielders glasses of water, with instructions to drink them. They refuse at first, not wanting to kill the fun, but Magda does her sternest glare and their drunk selves give in pretty quickly. 

Magda returns to her seat beside Pernille with a sigh and drops her head to rest on her shoulder. 

"They're drunk," Magda says with concern. 

"We're drunk." 

"OK. But we're not that drunk."

"We're not. Should we do something about it?" 

"Nah they're fine for now-" 

Magda cuts herself off, springing into action to catch Frido who had somehow made her way onto a nearby coffee table, only to lose balance and begin slipping backwards. 

Magda is there before it happens, catching her and lifting her down. Pernille jumps up to help, steadying the swaying Frido still in Magda's arms. That one could've ended badly. A broken leg is not a good risk for a footballer. It could end your career. 

"Bed." is all Magda says, and after the fright of the almost fall, the rest of the team solemnly agree and begin to shuffle out too. 

With Magda walking a floppy Frido, and Pernille volunteering to escort their legless attacking midfielder Jennie to her room too, they make the slow and messy trek to their hallway. They block booked the rooms so at least they're all together. 

They reach Frido and Magda's room first. Magda props a now sleeping Frido up against the door frame with her shoulder and pulls out a key card before carrying Frido in. 

Pernille follows with her own casualty, waiting for Magda to assist with Jennie once Frido was safely tucked in.

Frido's height makes it awkward to move her, so Pernille sits Jennie on the other bed and helps Magda finally get Frido settled. 

By the time they turn around, Jennie's soft snores fill the room. She'd somehow managed to tuck herself into what was meant to be Magda's bed and was now sound asleep, fully settled. 

Magda laughs softly for a second in disbelief, before realising that she no longer has a bed. 

"I don't want to have to wake her. But I don't know who she's rooming with." 

Pernille offers the solution, courtesy of their unfortunate winger who broke her leg last week. 

"It's fine, you can sleep in my bed. Remember Linda cancelled so they gave me a double bed instead of two singles. We can just share, get your stuff." 

Magda seems happy enough with that, plugging Frido's phone in to charge in case she needs them, before grabbing her bags and following Pernille down the hall. 

After the ordeal, they've sobered up sufficiently. Pernille thinks of how nice it is to be this comfortable with someone, to be able to casually share a bed without a second thought. This wouldn't have happened with the squad this time last year, she's so happy Magda came into her life. 

The fresh crispness of the hotel sheets is always the best part of vacation. Once they're settled in, Pernille flicks the light. Magda had asked what side of the bed she preferred. She laughed when Pernille told her usually the middle 

Nothing prepared them for how funny it would be when next morning Pernille wakes up to find she'd shimmied to the middle of the bed to wrap her arms around Magda's waist.

"You weren't joking were you?" Magda's raspy morning voice teases Pernille, giggling the second she felt her stirring. 

"I really wasn't. You should've woken me, sorry I-" 

She's pulling her hands away when Magda pulls her closer. 

"Where are you going? Defenders need hugs too..."

Pernille smiles into her shoulder and squeezes her torso tighter in response. 

They lay like that for a little while, happy enough to just chat and relax in the early morning sun filtering in through the window. 

It's a nice closeness. An effortless one. Sometimes it's just nice to be hugged. 

"Wish I could start every morning as peaceful as this," Magda says absentmindedly. 

Pernille is about to agree, when Magda's phone rings, shattering their peace. Magda grabs it and answers. It's Frido on FaceTime. 

"Morning Frido" 

The first thing she does is let a loud groan. The camera is right up to her face, she's squinting, her makeup is smudged, and she looks like death. 

"I'm dead." 

"You're not. You're just hungover." 

"It feels like death." 

"Yeah I can imagine, you crashed pretty hard." 

"Where are you? And why is Jennie in your bed?" 

There's an incoherent groan from what the girls assume is Jennie, protesting her own hangover. 

"Jennie also feels like death. But seriously where are you?" 

Magda doesn't hesitate.

"I'm in Pernille's room." 

"Ah OK, glad you weren't homeless for the night." 

Pernille thinks she's out of frame, but she can see the suspicious squint of Frido after a second, even through her thumping hangover. 

"Is... Is that Pernille's hair?"

Whoops, guess she wasn't fully out of shot. Magda giggles and readjusts the camera so Frido can see a smiling Pernille snuggled into the pillow just beside her.

"Morning." 

"Hmm... Morning P. Magda you said you were in Pernille's room... But why are you in her bed?" 

Pernille is confused. She's not exactly sure where the suspicion is coming from. Nor why it matters. They're friends. Friends share beds.

"Her room only has one double bed." 

Magda explains, and Frido accepts it with a strange pointed look before changing her line of questioning in a flash. 

"When's breakfast?" 

"Anytime you like. Meet you downstairs in 20?"

"Deal." 

They keep the sleeping arrangements after that. Frido and Jennie are good friends too so it's not a big deal. 

Day two is spent mostly lounging by the pool. The hangover recovery lasts well into the morning, but by early afternoon the drinking has started again. Pernille and Magda get more involved the second night, everyone behaves so there's no need for sober babysitting. The third night is the wildest of all. They venture into some club with foam cannons and techno. It's loud and wild and everything they needed to let off some steam after a hard season. Once Pernille and Magda decide to leave together in the early hours, they make the incredible discovery that maybe Magda let off a little too much steam. 

Her voice is gone. Completely gone. Not even a whisper can be heard. Pernille is hoarse, but Magda is mute. When you're both smashed drunk at 4 am, that ends up being the funniest thing in the world. Pernille laughs the whole walk home, repeatedly asking Magda to demonstrate and breaking into hysterics when she can't speak. All Magda can do is smile at how innocent Pernille's humour can be. Ah, the simple things in life. 

When they wake up in the now usual proximity next morning, Magda's voice is somewhat back, but it's far raspier than normal. It's strange at first but Pernille thinks it suits her. It'll probably fade in a few days. 

Day 4 is when they decide they need to actually do some sightseeing. Hiking seems like the best way to offset the night of alcohol damage, so Pernille and her two favourite Swedes break out the sports gear and head to the nearest mountain.

There's a cool trail they've heard of, it involves some intense climbing but they're athletes, they'll handle it.

It takes about 20 minutes into the two-hour hike before the Thai climate starts to kick in. Tee-shirts are shed, sports bras and shorts are the only way to cope with the humidity. That, and the litres of water they thankfully brought. They're probably sweating alcohol at this point. 

The trail itself is fine. Uphill, jungle terrain with a rough enough path, but in general it's fairly manageable. For very fit athletes, it's a comfortable challenge. 

Pernille thinks it's nice to get active again. Her body is rising to the challenge, she loves the sight burn in her muscles as they meander to the top of those mountains. Makes her feel like she's accomplishing something. 

They chat as they climb. About everything and anything. Families. Life. TV shows. Football, of course. They do a full post-mortem of the season and where they went wrong. There's a lot of positives, the defence was better, and Pernille and Frido scored more goals than they had last year, some unfortunate injuries at key times really killed their title chances. With a fit squad next year, it'll hopefully be a different story. 

Once they reach the last 100 metres, there's a decision to be made. It's muddy. It's steep. It's crawling on hands and knees commitment to get to the ledge about 50 metres up. The prize? There's allegedly a waterfall on the other side. 

It's never a question. As soon as Magda heard the word challenge, she was first to start the scramble upwards, shouting encouragement and lending hands to the others whenever she can. Pernille almost slips a couple of times but Magda is quick to reach out and steady her. Anytime she loses her footing, Magda's hands are on her immediately. Pernille thinks Magda is paying more attention to minding her than she is Frido, but it's probably the fear of her clumsiness. 

They make it. It's physically tiring, but they make it to the cave ledge safely. Once they catch their breath they start to venture inside. It's cooler here, a small mercy. But the mud is much wetter. 

It takes about 30 seconds before they're all covered. Magda takes it upon herself to run a filthy hand down Pernille's face when she wasn't looking. Then proceeds to take pictures of the horrified expression. 

Pernille gets her back with a well-timed kick at a particularly wet patch, spraying Madga head to toe. Then it was Pernille's turn to take the pictures. Once they climb down the ropes to the last ledge, it finally comes into view. 

It's beautiful. A completely calm lake, similar in size to an Olympic swimming pool. There's a very high cave ceiling, with a large hole in the top for sunlight to filter straight down. A waterfall cascading down the far wall. The sunlight shimmies off the lake in many places, it's ethereal. 

They're all quiet for a moment, speechless as they take it in. It's paradise. A hidden gem. 

They take plenty of pictures, before climbing down the last few rocks and going for a swim. 

The water is so clear. It immediately washes the mud off, leaving them with time to float and relax. It's just the cooldown they needed. Pure serenity. 

Later that evening the teammates can't believe the pictures. Magda produces some really sweet candid ones of Pernille, that she hadn't noticed her taking. She seems to be in more of Magda's pictures than anyone else, but she's probably just imagining things. She adds them to her Instagram immediately. 

They're all lounging by the pool in the evening, sipping beers and generally taking it easy. 

The partying wore off after a couple of nights. Just needed to get it out of their system. Now, everyone is more focused on experiencing the culture. 

While the rest opt for some high-end restaurant outside of town, Pernille and Magda venture to something different. It's a traditional family-run Thai restaurant, nestled down the back alley of one of the smallest streets in the area. A nice local woman Pernille was talking to at the resort recommended it. It's apparently where all the local families eat on special occasions. 

It's an unspoken agreement that they get somewhat dressed up for it. 

"You look incredible." Magda is finishing putting in her earrings in the mirror when Pernille blurts the compliment. It had to be said. 

Magda beams at that, the kind of smile Pernille has been getting from her more and more lately.

"You do too P, as always." 

The restaurant was nothing like they imagined. In fact, being dressed up makes them somewhat out of place here. When the lady had said it was famous for occasions, the girls just presumed it was fancy. They couldn't have been more wrong. 

It wasn't fancy, it was wholesome. A proper family restaurant, with noise and laughter and liveliness. Most importantly, incredible food. They're both big foodies so it's perfect. The decor was simple, and it became clear to Pernille early on that it's not the place that makes the occasion, it's the people. 

They're overdressed but they embrace it. Watching on in delight as they're immersed in birthdays, anniversaries, and celebrations happening all around them. It's one of the most joyful places Pernille has ever been. It's infectious. They don't stop smiling for hours. 

They enjoy dinner, it's always nice to chat one on one with Magda. They never seem to run out of things to talk about. While they're waiting for dessert to be served, Magda returns from her trip to the bathroom with two sheets of paper and a handful of crayons. 

"What this?" 

"Supplies," Magda answers simply. 

"Supplies for?" Pernille prompts. 

Magda unfolds the two sheets of paper, to unveil the restaurant logo and space for contact details on the bottom of the page. 

"For the colouring competition I'm about to win." 

Pernille thinks she's serious. She's already sitting down and surveying out the colour options. She hands Pernille a page and some crayons. 

"I brought one for you too." 

"Thank you, but are you sure that's not just for the kids?" 

"No, I asked the waitress. There's no age limit. Pass me the blue please." 

She's actually taking this seriously. She's focused and sets to work immediately. Pernille considers making fun of her for it, but then again... She can't remember the last time she coloured. 

For the sake of it, she grabs a crayon and starts on her own picture. 

"What are we meant to be drawing?" 

"I asked that too. The title this week is something that makes you happy." 

Magda doesn't even look up from her work. Pernille watches her for a few moments, marvelling at the concentration. Her face is stoic, giving nothing away. But her tongue pokes out the side of her lips as she fills in a tricky part. She stops every so often to survey it, nodding when she sees the adjustment she wanted to make. 

If there's one thing Pernille admires about Magda, it's her competitiveness. Here she is, stunning, dressed to perfection, ignoring her melting ice cream dessert, in favour of pouring her heart into a colouring competition against children. 

Pernille just draws a football and leaves it at that. Her chocolate cake is more important.

When she's done, Magda smiles at her work. She holds it up proudly for Pernille to see. It's actually quite good. 

As good as any Crayon portrait could be, Magda managed to draw Pernille kicking a ball into goals. Her number is clearly visible on the figure drawn, and Magda made a point of giving her comically big blue eyes. 

"Well?" 

"Aw, it's beautiful. Me scoring makes you happy? That's cute Magda." 

Magda seems happy enough with that. She even poses for a picture with her masterpiece. 

She's less impressed with Pernille's football effort. So Pernille takes the black crayon, writes 'To Magda, my biggest fan, love Pernille' with her signature autograph. She even goes so far as to kiss the paper, letting her red lipstick stain it perfectly. 

Magda watches on in amusement, as Pernille presents it to her as a gift. 

"I'll treasure it, " is the sarcastic comment as she holds it dramatically against her heart. But Pernille says nothing when she sees her slip it into her pocket when they're leaving. 

They'll have to revisit on Sunday to see who was crowned this weeks winners. They don't even know what the prize is but that won't matter to Magda. 

Day 5 is a pool day. Nothing else. It's the hottest day since they've been here, so it's time to fix the tan lines and build up enough colour to get them through a season in Sweden. 

With that in mind, they're all still blonde and fair-skinned, so sunburn is a constant threat. Even with sun protection on, they tan. So it's a daily ritual to apply it. 

They're first up, so Pernille ends up helping Magda apply it on her back. She missed a spot yesterday so it's slightly burned. Magda lies flat on her stomach on the sun lounger, and Pernille just sits on her lower back to make sure she gets a good angle to cover Magda's entire back. She's not sure at what point she began massaging it in. Probably sometime after Magda's back muscles started to harden at the cold shock of sunscreen lotion. She's slightly mesmerised by just how many muscles she has. So defined. 

She works away for a few minutes, rolling her hands over muscles and kneading out anywhere she thinks it's tight. It's not until Frido stands beside her and clears her throat with raised eyebrows that Pernille snaps out of it and realizes this could probably be misinterpreted as a compromising position. 

She just laughs and swings her legs off, asking Magda to do her back next. 

She's glad their sunscreen is waterproof because soon enough, the pool games begin. Her favourite is always when you balance on someone’s shoulders and have to try to knock down your opponent who’s doing the same.

Someone drafts up a tournament with 4 teams of 2. It surprises no one when Magda immediately calls dibs. 

"Pernille's mine."

And then she adds more loudly "AND we're going to WIN." 

It's instantly clear that Pernille will be going on Magda's shoulders. Pernille argues it anyways. 

"I'm stronger," Magda says matter of factly. 

"No, you're not." 

"I am. I've more abs. Look? Feel that?" 

To prove her point she catches Pernille hand and holds the palm flat against her abs before flexing. 

It causes the strangest sensation, one Pernille can't quite place. Her skin feels tingly as she pulls her hand away. That never happens when she feels her own abs. Must be a reaction to the sunscreen. 

"Alright fine, you're stronger." 

"Damn right I am P, hop up. " 

Pernille finds she can sit on her shoulders quite comfortably. Magda has absolutely no problem carrying her around. They take a moment to find the best grip for Pernille's legs, opting to wrap them around Magda's arms as tightly as possible, and so the games begin. 

They lose the first point. Pernille wasn't prepared for just how aggressive this was going to get. She gets sent tumbling backwards and resurfaces still attached to Magda, who hadn't let her fall. 

The redemption is swift and clinical. With Magda aggressively screaming instructions, their balance together finds it's rhythm and soon enough they've beaten everyone else. 

Magda does a victory dance, Pernille still on her shoulders. They pose for the pictures, smiling widely. Doesn't matter the context, winning is always fun. The dream team. 

They spend the next few days exploring more of the area. A little shopping, swimming, boating, diving, biking, a couple of more hikes, and of course, the beach. They take some incredible group pictures at the small beach near the resort. Definitely Instagram worthy.

It’s only when her sister asks for pictures of what Thailand is like, Pernille realises that over half the pictures she's taken are of Magda. Magda across the table at dinner. Magda lying on the beach. Magda climbing trees. They're all great pictures mind you, and Magda is never one to shy away from a camera. But still, even though Frido was with them the majority of the time, Pernille thinks it's funny she always seems to be pointing the camera at Magda. You can't blame there though. With the face and the hair and that physique, the sunglasses always just make Magda look that extra bit stunning. Mysterious. It'd be a crime not to capture it, even if Pernille drops her phone half the time she tries.

They've become each other's unofficial social media photographer at this point. Almost all the pictures they post of the trip are ones they've taken of each other. Now that Pernille looks at it, she features on Magda's Instagram just as much as Magda features on her own. Friendship goals. 

One thing Pernille doesn't get a picture of, that she absolutely wishes she did, was Magda's face when she realized who she'd been talking to on the phone. 

While Magda is in the shower before dinner on their final night of the trip, Pernille lounges on her bed. Her phone rings at the usual time. 

That same familiar voice. Always excited to speak to her. To ask how Magda is. Before diving straight into the real reason he calls: to talk football. They talk about the results of the latest Premier League matches. He asks for Pernille's insights on how certain teams are playing. Interesting tactics they've used, players in form. What teams need to do in La Liga next week to cause an upset. Pernille has a vast footballing knowledge. His old school wisdom compliments that nicely. They always have great conversations, really appreciating the insights each other offer. It's highly enjoyable. 

They're wrapping up just as Magda comes out of the bathroom. Pernille panics a bit and tries to end the call as soon as possible. Magda doesn't pay any attention to Pernille, who's now standing looking out the window while saying her goodbyes. Just as she tries to hang up, she accidentally hits speakerphone instead, only to have the voice loudly say "Goodbye". 

Pernille turns around from the window to see Magda frozen in place, hands hovering over whatever she was doing, staring at Pernille with suspicion. 

Pernille says nothing, and leaves the phone down, avoiding Magda's eyes for a few seconds. When she glances back up, Magda is still staring at her. 

"Pernille... Was that my dad?" 

Caught. 

"Uh, yeah it was." She rubs a guilty hand at the back of her neck. 

Magda looks increasingly confused. 

"Why were you talking to my dad? What's wrong?" 

"He just wanted to talk to me about football," Pernille tells the truth. 

"Well, why couldn't he have just called me?" 

"He's afraid you would think it's weird and wouldn't let us be friends." 

Magda's face morphs from confusion to amusement. She's laughing now, shaking her head. 

"You and my dad are friends?" 

Pernille shrugs. Yeah, she supposes they are. 

"How often does he call you?" 

"About once a week." 

"To talk about football?" 

"Basically." 

Pernille is blushing again.

"And you've been entertaining him?" 

"Yeah, he has a lot of good insights." 

Magda is looking at Pernille differently now. With something in her eyes that Pernille can't quite place. 

Just when Pernille thinks Magda's going to make fun of her for stealing her dad behind her back, Magda quickly closes the space between them and gives her a tight hug. 

"Pernille that's so sweet. Thank you. He misses football so much, he just wants to stay a part of it all. That's so nice of you. Seriously." 

"It's fine, I enjoy it too. He's got a really good perspective on it." 

Magda finishes getting ready, still shaking her head with a smile everytime she thinks of it. 

"You're something else, Pernille." 

The smile lasts until they make it back to the restaurant they visited earlier in the week. It immediately turns into a scowl when she sees her picture pinned up under the title "2nd Place". 

She's pouting. 

"This is bullshit. There's no way that scraggy orange dog is better than my picture." 

Pernille finds the scowl endearing. Magda looks like a giant toddler having a tantrum. She offers her condolences, comforting her by rubbing the outsides of her arms. Even if she finds it funny the first place winner was a seven-year-old. 

"Hard luck. Your picture was definitely better. Let's see what second prize is." 

They get seated at a table and the waitress says she will bring out the prize. Not two minutes later, she hands Magda a football with the restaurant logo. 

"Congratulations!"

A football, of all things. They spend the rest of the night laughing at the irony of it all. 

They're on the way home when Magda spots a family with three little girls walking the opposite way. The youngest one is captivated looking at the ball Magda is casually doing keepy-uppys with as they stroll. 

Magda smiles wide and says hello, before leaning down and handing the ball to the tiny little girl. 

"This is for you!" 

Their faces light up. Echoes of squeaky thank yous and approving smiles from the parents. 

Pernille's heart melts when the smallest one hugs Magda's leg in thanks. The other two girls give a beaming Pernille high fives and they all go their separate ways. 

Future footballers, she hopes. 

While Magda is walking along, smiling softly at her good deed, Pernille gives in to the urge to hug her. That was adorable. 

She couldn't think of a more perfect note to end their trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really don't know how this chapter turned out. I've been staring at it so long while writing it I'm starting to hate it, but I hope you enjoyed reading it :)


	4. Is Home Really Where The Heart Is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back :)
> 
> As always, the comments have been GIVING ME LIFE. This was a tricky chapter to write, when I got stuck I literally went back and read the comments on Ch3 for inspiration, so thank you all for being so nice! You got me through it! 
> 
> It's basically a groundwork chapter, tying up some loose ends, taking care of some necessary *cough* 'business' *cough* and getting us setup on the right timeline for some big things in the next one.
> 
> Enjoy :)

It's a clean break.

Quick. Uncomplicated. 

She knew it was coming.

Pernille arrives home in Denmark the day before Christmas eve. She almost forgot how much she missed her family. Effortlessly slipping straight back into the warmth and love of her parent's home, it's like she never left. 

The reunion is cut short with a surprise visit from her boyfriend. They'd plans to meet later that evening, but with a kiss on the cheek as greeting, he apologies for intruding and suggests they take a walk. 

She knows what that probably means.

They stroll towards their usual spot. A nice bench overlooking the frozen lake a few minutes from Pernille's home. 

He looks good, especially in his winter clothes. His hair is longer than when she last saw him. Now that she thinks about it, it's been about two months since he visited Linköping. 

They sit on the bench in silence for a minute. Breaths fogging the cold air, everything seems still when there's the blanket of snow on the ground. 

She looks at him and waits. Let's just get it over with.

Eventually, he swallows hard and reluctantly turns to her. It's written all over his face. 

She was planning on doing this after Christmas. They might as well rip off the bandage. 

Her face must give away her sentiments. His eyes soften when he knows what they're both thinking. They're on the same page. The writing's been on the wall for a while now. Her sad smile and solemn nod are enough to acknowledge she's ready. 

Time to give up the ghost. 

Taking her gloved hands in his own, he speaks. 

"We were good together."

She lets that statement sit for a second. A moments silence, for the death of their relationship. 

"I don't know when it changed." 

She honestly doesn't. When do you go from love to indifference? To avoiding calls? To feeling like you're obligated to force small talk? They've grown intellectually bored of one another. 

There have been too many days when she'd much rather spend her time with Magda and Frido than with him. Too many times she made the choice and ignored his nightly calls in favour of watching Netflix with them. The bad part was she didn't regret it. The worst part was that she never knew why. That was the beginning of the end.

It happened gradually within the last few months. The closer she got to the girls, the less she needed him... and the less she cared.

"Me either. But we had a good run. I wish I had a reason for you, but if you're clearly feeling the same thing, I guess I don't need one." 

"It's been a while coming." 

"We tried." 

She can't deny that. 

"We did"

"We were good to each other, " he smiles at the memories as he says it, they had their glory days. 

"We were." 

"We've been just friends for a while now." 

It's both relieving and devastatingly real to hear him saying all the things she's been thinking. 

"The spark just... burned out. I really don't know what happened. " 

He's quiet for a minute, pensive, like he's thinking hard about it. 

"We grew up."

Pernille smiles sadly at that. He's right. 

Tears brim at her eyes at the thought of all the memories they've made together. He's been there through some of her best days, and definitely some of her worst.

"I can't imagine having to do it without you," she whispers her fear out loud. 

"You don't need me like that anymore P. Look at this last year in Sweden, look how confident you've become. Look at the incredible friends you've made. You don't need me there to catch you. You'll catch yourself. And if you don't, Frido and Magda are there now." 

She's noticed the change in herself. She's a completely different person. It's for the better. 

If they're laying it all out here for the finale, she might as well be honest and let the weight off her shoulders. The long-distance guilt is always something she struggled with. 

"You were always there when I needed you though. I'll never forget that. I'm sorry we couldn't see each other more often."

"I'm not. Look at all you've achieved while we were apart. Look at where you're heading. In this scenario, we had to sacrifice us, but that's something I don't regret. I'm proud of you Pernille, and I'm proud to have called you my girlfriend."

"I don't think I'll survive without at least being your friend."

"You won't have to. We were friends before, we're friends again. And I'll still cheer you on every single game." 

He stands to leave, but she doesn't follow. 

"I think I'm going to just sit here a while."

He nods in understanding. 

"We'll talk again soon. Don't be a stranger. " 

A final kiss on the cheek and he's gone. 

All at once, Pernille feels incredibly alone. Three years of always having him there, there's a certain emptiness that presence leaves. 

She doesn't know why, but she cries for a good ten minutes. She's not devastated, by any means. After all, she was going to initiate the breakup within the week. It's over now, and she's alone. At least it ended on good terms. 

But like all broken bones, a clean break doesn't mean it won't hurt, it just means the healing process should be more straight forward. Right now, all she can feel is the initial pain. 

After sufficiently calming down, she considers her options. Head back to the house and have her mother panic because she's crying? Have to talk about it, and explain? That does not sound like the type of inquest she needs. She wants someone to cheer her up. And not ask too many questions. 

She just needs a friend right now.

She's FaceTiming Magda before she knows it. It's getting dark out, so Pernille pulls her jacket tighter and starts the slow walk home, taking the long way. 

Magda's face fills the screen on the second ring. Her bright, beaming smile. 

"Hiiii Pernille," that same warmth her voice always carries. 

"Hey, how're you?" 

Pernille winces when she hears how gravelly her own voice is from the crying. 

Magda's demeanour changes to concern, a frown and furrowed brow taking over. 

"What’s wrong?" 

Her voice is so tender when she asks, so soft with concern, Pernille almost sobs on the spot. 

She tries to swallow the thick lump in her throat, pulling herself together well enough to break the news with some dignity. She looks up into the distance, trying hard to blink away the tears. 

Magda doesn't like the hesitation. 

"Pernille?" 

She takes a deep breath, ready to tell her everything. A new voice shatters her resolve.

"What's wrong with Pernille?" 

She looks back down at the screen and sees Magda's girlfriend cuddled happily into her shoulder. The new camera angle clearly shows they're snuggled in bed. 

Ice runs through Pernille's veins. 

She feels sick.

She's going through a breakup. It's humiliating. And as much as she wants to confide in Magda, she's not willing to extend that circle to the girlfriend too. She immediately throws her walls back up. They're friends, but not like that.

She's not going to ruin their cosy night in. She's not going to weigh them down with her own problems. 

She's also doesn't know why, but seeing Magda with the type of relationship she no longer has, makes her feel more alone than ever. She can't let them know that. 

She thanks the darkness and poor street lighting, concealing her tears from the camera's view. She has to get away from this right now. 

"I'm fine guys, it's nothing, sorry for bothering you, have a nice night together." 

It's a brave performance. Her voice cracks on the 'together', but she ends the call before the sob breaks free. 

She has immediate missed calls from Magda and worried messages, but she doesn't respond. Frido's concerned messages follow soon after. 

Right now, she just needs space. It's too fresh, too raw, she'll explain when she's ready. 

She turns her phone off for the next week.

She doesn't cry after that. Her family rally around her immediately. They're very close, and the love and support she feels in the days after the breakup soothe the sting an immeasurable amount. Christmas festivities and the family-wide obsession with football offer enough distraction for time to do its thing and heal her.

Nothing beats family. As they sit around the living room playing board games, Pernille thinks about how she cannot express just how much she loves them. It feels like she's gotten over it. She even starts to feel the relief that he's gone. Freedom. She's just in a really content state of mind right now. 

Until her sister makes a confession. 

"Magda's been texting me," she says it nonchalantly, in between rolls of the dice.

"What?"

"She was worried about you. You didn't return her calls for days so she messaged me on Facebook to check you were ok." 

"And what did you tell her?" it's asked through gritted teeth. The last thing she needs is Magda thinking she's a mess. 

"Relax. I just told her you're fine, and that you'll call her when you're ready-" 

Pernille exhales the panic she'd just felt.

" - which you should probably do, by the way, she's been asking for updates every single day." 

Magda. It's not that Pernille has forgotten about her. Quite the opposite in fact, since the breakup she's probably been on her mind the most. They've spent the last year tied at the hip, this week has definitely been the longest they've gone without speaking. 

Pernille hates it. Every time she thought about picking up the phone just to hear Magda's voice, she talks herself down, not wanting to interrupt her quality time with her girlfriend. She spends longer than she'd like to admit thinking about them. She has no doubt Magda is an incredible girlfriend. She wonders about the cute dates they're probably going on. The adoring affection. The things she no longer has in life. 

The last thing she wants to be is that needy friend always virtually third-wheeling. So she kept her distance and tried not to be a distraction. 

Now her sister is telling her Magda's been in the loop all along. Great. Now she just seems like a brat for ghosting her. 

Once she's alone, Pernille texts asking if she can call. Her phone rings immediately. 

She apologises and explains what happened. The breakup. How it was mutual. That she's relieved and enjoyed a nice week with her family. 

She rambles a bit, no doubt. The familiar comforting murmurs of Magda's raspy voice are enough to make her feel better and gently encourage her to keep talking. 

The more they talk and catch up, the better she feels. Hearing Magda recounting details of her family Christmas traditions and funny stories brings the widest smile back to Pernille's face. Magda could've made her feel this much better a week ago, she's an idiot for not calling sooner.

It lasts a couple of hours. 

Eventually, they fall into comfortable silences in between topics. 

Magda breaks one of them with a quiet admission. 

"I've missed you." 

It's soft. It's vulnerable. And it stings Pernille's heart because she's felt the same thing. 

"I'm sorry I went off the radar. I missed you too." 

"At first I was so worried. Then even after your sister said you're fine, I still couldn't stop wondering about you. And then dad kept asking about you. A week has never felt so long." 

"I know. It's weird being apart. Doesn't feel right. Can you have withdrawal symptoms from a person?"

"We'll just have to hang in there. Only 4 weeks and we'll be back together." 

Phone calls and texts are plentiful after that. A constant stream of messages and random pictures narrate their days back and forth. She even calls Magda's dad a couple of extra time that week to catch up on the chat they missed. It gets to a point where Pernille's sister starts to tease her about it. 

"I liked it better when you were ignoring her," she's only half-joking.

Pernille makes it up to her with a sister's trip to Madrid. 

The rest of her vacation is filled with family time, sleeping in, and the gym. She enjoys her recharge but is careful not to let the fitness levels slip too much. The national team meet for three days training too, so that helps keep her on track.

By the end of January, she arrives back in Sweden. 

In two days they're heading back to Thailand of all places, this time for a climate training camp. 

By finishing third in the league last year, they initially hadn't qualified for the Champions League. But after Tyresö FF who had finished above them in second went bankrup, Linköping fortunately got bumped up to take their place. A nice suprise. So to get ready for potential games in hotter countries like Spain or Italy, this camp is to help them prepare for the heat.

Eager to reunite as soon as possible, Magda visits her apartment on her way back to Linköping. 

There's a long heartfelt hug.

And just like that, they pick up right where they left off. The closeness. The affection. The beaming smiles to be back in one another's company. It's all there. 

It carries to the trip too. They room together in Thailand, but it’s much more structured than their last visit. Everything is tightly scheduled to maximise their exercise in the heat. The focus is completely on football. The only real downtime is spent in the pool for recovery in between sessions. It's a far cry from their vacation here, but everyone is professional and puts in the effort to make sure they have a productive camp. 

Their return to Linköping is rewarded with three days off before training resumes. 

Pernille spends it at the Swedes apartment, recovering from jet-lag and doing as little physical activity as possible. 

Her and Magda end up getting called back to the club a day early. They've been picked for media duties. Wonderful. 

They meet at the club that morning, both looking rather dolled up from their usual training looks. Light makeup, hair in sleek ponytails. Professional. 

They collect fresh team tracksuits for the day, and soon enough they're sitting at a press conference table, facing a dozen or so reporters seated below them. 

It's open questioning, so they sit quietly along with the captain and coach and wait for the conference to start. 

There's still chatter in the room, so Pernille glances around and tries to spot any reporters she knows. Ah yes, a few from the regular player of the match interviews she does, and also a couple of Danish reporters. She waves and they wave back, it's so nice of them to make the trip for her.

She feels the table shaking and looks down to her right at Magda's leg bouncing furiously. Her eyes are wildly scanning the room, but landing nowhere. 

She's nervous. 

Pernille places a firm hand onto Magda's bouncing thigh, causing her to jump. 

She whips her head to look at Pernille in shock. 

"Calm down. You're fine. There's nothing to be nervous about." 

"What if I say the wrong thing?" 

"You won't," Pernille dismisses the concern with a blasé wave. She's done enough of these as a poster girl to know it's usually pretty straightforward. Predictable. Boring, even. 

"What if I don't know how to answer something?" 

"Just pass it off to me. We'll be fine."

But still, Magda is genuinely terrified. Her face looks paler than normal. Her hands are white, wringing together with the anxiety. 

Pernille moves her hand to grab both of Magda's, taking the one nearest to her and squeezing it. Reassurance. 

"It'll be alright."

She leans in towards Magda, dipping her head and holding eye contact, trying to sincerely convey enough confidence to calm her down. 

She nods slightly, so Pernille thinks she might have helped. 

After the first few questions to the captain and coach, the next one is directed at Magda. 

She's shaky with her first answer. It's hard to discern it, her voice is still raspy from that night in Thailand, but Pernille can hear the nerves. 

A couple of sentences in, she's stuttering, so Pernille discretely reaches across into her lap and takes her hand under the table. Careful to keep her eyes forward, she gives a little squeeze of reassurance, and it works, Magda recovers and finds the words. 

Once she ends her answer in a relatively articulate manner, Magda squeezes back, and glances at her with a mouthed "Thanks".

Pernille just winks, before leaning forward onto the table to easily answer her own question.

The first half-hour is pretty boring. Very predictable questions that require the usual vague and politically correct answers. 

Somewhere in the middle of a discussion about tactics, Magda begins playing with Pernille's hand. She reaches out and pulls it across into her lap, before beginning to bend a series of fingers, trailing her fingertips along the knuckles and gently rubbing scars. 

To the rest of the room, it looks like she's examining her own hands. 

But for Pernille, it's distracting. 

The feather-light touch of Magda's fingertips sends a shiver down her spine.

Pernille is so caught up in the sensation, she almost misses a question directed at her. Glancing up, everyone is looking at her expectantly. She mumbles her apology and kindly asks for the question to be repeated. 

She glances at Magda, who's smirking at the effect she had. 

The Danish journalist speaks up, "I asked is there much rivalry between the predominantly Swedish defence and the high scoring Dane in training?" 

Pernille bursts out laughing at that. 

She's currently holding hands with one of them under this table, does that count as rivalry? 

"Well, that's quite a controversial topic. I guess it depends on which one of us you ask," she fends them off by giving a few funny anecdotes from mishaps in training.

They take a break after an hour. 

Magda had finally started to relax into it, getting more confident and insightful with her answers. 

"Told ya you'd be fine," Pernille bumps their shoulders as she makes a coffee.

Magda rolls her eyes, "Says you. How do you do it?" 

"What do you mean, you just did it too?" 

"I just answered the questions, you put on a show. The charm, the smile. Watch whenever you're answering, the entire room is smiling and nodding along, hanging on every word." 

Pernille honestly hadn't noticed. 

"Really?" 

Magda scoffs, "They adore you, how are you so likeable? You had us all laughing every time you spoke. You shouldn't be able to add charisma to the most generic answers." 

"Practice, I guess? When I was younger, I used to be so nervous I tried to get them to laugh so it'd be less daunting." 

"Well, it works. At least you buttered them up for us." 

They return for the final half-hour of questions. Traditionally, these take a more lighthearted approach. It's usually a chance to get to know the players more and venture away from the tactics and more serious aspects of the season. 

The first question asked intrigues her.

"Magda, I know you just played your first full season with Pernille as a teammate, can you describe what it's like to have that calibre of striker on your team?" 

Pernille turns grinning to Magda, visibly delighted to hear this response. 

Magda looks oddly bashful at first, before eventually finding the words to answer. 

"Oh wow, well I need to be careful with what I say here," throwing an exaggerated nod towards Pernille, who's now sitting with her chin resting on her hand, making a show of dramatically listening to whatever Magda is about to say. 

"- no but seriously, it's an absolute dream. We're teammates now, but I remember facing her a couple of years ago underage in a Sweden and Denmark match. She scored 3 goals on us in the first half alone. Easily. One of them was a forty-yard screamer. She was just so far ahead in terms of skill and development, I remember that I genuinely wanted the coach to check if she was actually underage. I couldn't believe how good she was, even back then."

Pernille is shocked. She'd honestly forgotten about that match. Then it clicks. That's why Magda and Frido looked familiar when they met last year. They'd already met. She can't believe they hadn't talked about this together before.

Magda is shaking her head and smiling at the reporters as she continues. 

"So now, I'm thankful to be on her team instead of trying to stop her. Because you can't. And it's not just talent, trust me she has that in bucket loads too. It's the hard work she puts in. She'll always train the hardest. She'll always keep grinding and grinding until she scores and wins us a match." 

Magda smiles over at her now intermittently as she talks, and Pernille could swear she can feel a blush creeping up at the compliments. A chant begins in her head: 'stop talking Magda, stop talking.' 

Yet Magda keeps going, and Pernille wonders where she's suddenly getting all the confidence. 

"But what I probably admire most about Pernille is how humble she is about it. She knows she's great but she doesn't want praise for it. She wants results. She wants the team to win. And she's so generous with her time, sharing her knowledge and experience to help us all improve. She's the best," she finishes with a shrug. 

Pernille can't even look at her. She's pulled her arms down off the table and sank slightly down into her chair, pulling the collar of her jacket up over her chin in a feeble attempt to hide from the attention. 

Half of her is absolutely melting over how cute that was, and how touching it is to hear just how highly Magda thinks of her. The other half is mortified that Magda just went on that rant and put it on the record just how good she believes she is. She knows Pernille hates the praise, she literally just mentioned it, then continued to praise her. 

The room is smiling between the two of them, and it takes a couple of seconds before Pernille realizes they're waiting for her to give a response. 

She sits up straight again and can definitely feel the blush on her cheeks. She avoids Magda's eyes in fear of making it worse.

"Well, those are some of the nicest things anyone has said about me in a while. Magda is always very kind. But don't think I'm going to go easy on her in training after that!" 

The crowd chuckles and moves on to the next question. Pernille sighs in relief. What else was she supposed to say?

When she gets a chance, she finally looks over at Magda. Careful not to interrupt the coaches answer, she nudges her to get her attention before leaning into her ear to whisper.

"What was that?!"

She pulls back to look for the answer. 

She might be imagining it, but it looks like Magda is starting to blush as well. She just smiles. 

"The truth," she whispers back, holding the eye contact for a second longer, before returning her attention to the ongoing interview. 

Nothing too exciting happens after that. The questions go back to being predictable. The room is getting warm and yawns start to creep in. The best way to sum up the remainder is the fact that Magda resorts to leaning across and grabbing Pernille's cup of coffee. 

Pernille watches curiously as Magda takes a sip and nods, before putting it back down where she got it. Her eyes never even flicker to Pernille. 

Did she... Did she just steal her coffee? 

Pernille looks down at the faint trace of Magda’s pink lip gloss on the lid. She really did steal some. Maybe she forgot it wasn't hers. 

Pernille ignores her and takes a sip herself. She's barely left it down before Magda has it swiped again, taking an even bigger sip this time. 

Pernille can see the smirk playing at her lips now as she lowers the cup. She knows exactly what she's doing. 

Pernille picks it up again and grabs the pen on the table in front of her, writing 'Mine!' in large letters. She twists the cup into Magda's view. 

Magda still doesn't look at her, but shakes her head, grabs her own pen, and makes an adjustment before placing it back in front of Pernille. 

The 'mine' is crossed out, replaced by 'Ours? :)' in Magda's cursive handwriting. 

Pernille very nearly laughs out loud. Smiling and shaking her head, she places it into the space between them as her answer. 

Magda throws a look and smiles, giving Pernille a wink and taking another sip. It's enough to get them through the rest of the day. 

A couple of photoshoots later, they're released to go home. 

When the pictures from the press conference surface two weeks later, Pernille feels her heart flutter. 

Many of them capture rather intimate moments between her and Magda. 

Smiles shared. Moments where they have their eyes closed laughing hard at something. Her favourite ones are the pictures where one of them isn't looking. It's the wholesome smiles they give while listening to each other talking. You can tell how close they are in them.

When she comes to the ones taken during Magda's impassioned speech about her, Pernille laughs at how embarrassed she looks. Magda just looks genuine. Smiling as she speaks. It radiates.

It's nice to have a picture that stirs the memory of how loved she felt at that moment. 

It's an incredible feeling, and when Pernille thinks of an opportunity to make Magda feel as special as she made her feel, she grabs it with both hands. 

It takes her a couple of weeks to come up with the perfect expression of love for Magda. It's complicated because they're not the type to go overly sappy and have a heart to heart about how much they care about each other. What friends do that anyway? 

No, Pernille has a better plan. No better day than Valentine’s day to spread the love. 

She's careful as she executes it. Leaving no contact details, paying in cash. She wastes a Sunday afternoon making the trip a couple of towns over, but it's worth it to guarantee the anonymity. 

When Valentine’s day rolls around, the look of sheer surprise on Magda's face when the flowers get delivered to the training ground makes Pernille's heart race with joy. There's just something different about making Magda smile that brings indescribable happiness to Pernille. 

Magda's excitement only grows when she reads the card 'Because you are you' and realises that it wasn't her girlfriend who sent them, but a secret admirer. 

Pernille plays the part, and coos along with her teammates, admiring them and speculating about who it could be.

The more they speculate, the more she feels a slight sense of panic that she may be found out. She starts to second guess it. Was it too far? Was it weird of her to send anonymous flowers to her best friend for Valentine’s day? 

She wonders what Magda’s reaction would be if she found out. Would she think it's sweet? Or would she be disappointed that it's only Pernille who's behind the gesture? She hopes she'll never know. 

That night, she lies in bed wide awake. Overthinking it, of course. She's happy she did it. After all the sweet things Magda said, she deserves to feel how Pernille felt. 

As the night wears on, Pernille thinks about it more and more. She starts to get the growing feeling that something is just slightly different with Magda. 

It happens when she remembers Frido's comment earlier in the day, "Why didn't someone send me flowers?" 

Initially, she'd mentally answered that it was because Frido hadn't said all those nice things about her. 

But in the silence of the night, the more she thinks about it, her pulse starts to speed up. 

Her heart is hammering when she comes to the realization that even if Frido had said all those sweet things, she definitely wouldn't have gone to the lengths of secretly sending flowers.

So why was she so willing to go above and beyond for Magda?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a weird one. It's probably been the least entertaining but most necessary one so far. I'm going to start writing the next one tomorrow just to get rid of the taste of this one. I avoided writing it all week, trying to figure out how the hell I was gonna progress it and somehow manage to keep up an exciting pace but not make it unrealistic.
> 
> Question of the day: how slow is too slow for slow burn? I've been asking myself that all week.


	5. When The Wolves Came, You Stood By My Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We back! And in under a week this time :) 
> 
> Gotta say, Ch4 comments section was a PARTYYYYYY
> 
> Last chapter was so well received I genuinely found it hard to follow up with this.
> 
> The lovely comments, the discussions, the suggestions, you guys make it special!
> 
> As always, thanks to everyone too for leaving kudos and reading it!
> 
> :)

It's haunting.

The constant thoughts. The speculating. The overthinking.

The most frustrating part is, absolutely nothing has changed.

On the surface, everything is exactly the same as every other week. She keeps the same routine. She trains with the same intensity. She sees Magda as much as ever. 

The only thing that has changed, is her perspective.

In her search for an answer, everything is analysed.

Why is Magda different to everyone else? 

It doesn't take long for her to get to the bottom of it. 

She doesn't know how she hasn't seen it sooner. How she hadn't realized what's been right in front of her eyes this entire time. 

She's a bad friend.

Frido deserves better.

Somewhere in her giddiness over clicking with Magda and becoming best friends, she started to neglect dear Frido. 

That's the simplest explanation. The closeness she feels with Magda. The attachment. She's convinced they're just a side effect of the many hours she spends with her. 

Somewhere along the line, poor Frido started to get left behind. So for the week after Valentine's day, Pernille starts to make a conscious effort to change that.

On the back of that, she starts to slowly distance herself from Magda a little. Declining plans to hang out after training. Making an effort to occupy herself with talking to other players in the squad. She finds new people to pair up with for the drills at training. If Frido's not available, she's willing to take almost anyone else. 

Anyone that isn't Magda. 

It doesn't go unnoticed.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

She's not, per se. 

She tried to be subtle. The last thing Pernille wants is to hurt Magda's feelings. 

She's just trying to clear her head. To do that, she needs some space.

She wasn't trying to weaken their friendship, she's just trying to prioritize strengthening other ones, particularly with Frido. 

It almost works. 

But if Magda is noticing after 2 days, and taking it so personally her voice carries a mix of anger and hurt when she confronts her about it, Pernille realizes she probably took it too far. She apologises and makes some excuse about trying to build a tighter knit squad with fewer cliques. The scepticism on Magda's face says it all. 

Even so, Pernille is initially relieved when Magda doesn't question it further. 

But as the day goes on, it becomes increasingly clear that she's not over it. She gives Pernille a dose of her own medicine. Never approaching her first. Opting to speak to everyone that isn't her. Teaming up with other Swedes for training. She doesn't bother inviting her to hang out anymore in the evening. By the end of the week, Pernille feels awful. 

OK. She gets it. Now she knows how Magda felt. It was uncalled for. 

Frido asks if they're fighting, Pernille just tells her it's complicated. Because it is.

The worst part about it all is that she realizes that this is what it could be like. This could be their dynamic. If she didn't have Magda, if she didn't have that closeness, she's shocked at just how less colourful her day is. She's barely smiled all week. 

Even Frido doesn't come close to filling the Magda sized hole left in her life. It becomes clear pretty quickly that she was wrong earlier. She didn't find the answer. It's definitely not about how much time she spends with them. 

It can't be. Because right now, Magda's giving her the cold shoulder and she misses her more than ever. 

Pernille doesn't know how to fix it. 

How do you declare to your best friend that you were avoiding her because you think you're becoming too attached? Because you care so much it's starting to scare you? Because you panicked? 

There's no way to sincerely apologise without admitting those things. And right now, Pernille can't admit them, because she doesn't know what they mean. 

Magda's treating her like a stranger. Civil. Polite if Pernille speaks to her, but curt in her answers and unengaging when Pernille makes every attempt to talk to her and hang out with her all week. 

She'd almost think it was hurtfully easy for Magda to ignore her, if it wasn't for the countless times that week Pernille glances over to catch Magda looking at her from afar, only to quickly look away. 

She's expecting a truthful apology, but Pernille can't offer one yet without lying. 

Until she can, there seems to be no room for a breakthrough.

It's the first match in March when it happens. 

The challenge itself is more mistimed than anything else. 

Pernille is breaking on a counter-attack, and nearly hurdles the slide tackle of the last defender. She's just a fraction too late and gets clipped while in the air. 

She's thrown off balance and left flailing as she comes down. 

It's not the contact, but the hard landing on one foot that does it. 

She feels the impact instantly. The force of her body weight down on one side of her foot sparks an initial blistering pain, then nothing. 

She thinks she might be alright. 

She might have gotten away with it. 

Pernille is gingerly getting back up on her knees as the referee arrives. 

The second she places her body weight back on the foot, the crippling pain shoots back. 

She immediately crumbles back to the ground with a scream, clutching her boot and waving frantically for the team doctor. 

That's enough indication to her teammates that something is seriously wrong. She never asks for treatment. 

A small huddle gathers, with Magda and Frido kneeling the closest. 

Magda says nothing but watches on with visible concern. 

With Pernille's wince of pain, the doctor pulls off the boot. Once the sock is peeled back, the swelling along her metatarsal is fairly obvious. 

A gentle prod from the doctor has her hissing through her teeth at the slight pressure. 

Definitely bone.

Definitely broken. 

Definitely a long recovery period. 

Fuck. 

She knows all this instantly. By his face, he knows it as well. 

Despite the pain, she doesn't want to worry her teammates. Not in the middle of a match, they need to be focused.

Pernille cuts him off before he spills the bad news. Swallowing the down the agony she keeps her voice clear when announcing to the group "It's alright, it's not bad. Only minor." 

Magda is scowling at her slightly, entirely unconvinced. 

She offers her a reassuring smile and distracts her by asking to be helped up. She's half-expecting Magda to ignore her and walk off. She'd deserve it. 

But instead, she never hesitates, pushing a teammate away and takes her place beside Pernille, wrapping an arm around her torso for support.

The second Pernille places her foot back on the ground, it's stinging. The constant ache even just resting it on the ground is a damning indication. 

She's not running this one off.

Whatever sliver of hope she'd been hanging onto is being chipped away with every painful step. 

Keeping the foot off the ground, the doctor and Magda link her back to the sideline. 

She tries her best to keep her face stoic. Every step threatens to flash the pain across her features. But she's aware Magda is carefully watching her face. She doesn't want her to worry. 

When she starts to struggle with hopping on one foot, she notices that Magda begins basically carrying her, leaning Pernille's entire weight over into her own body. The doctor is only needed to steady her other arm and keep her balanced.

Neither of them says anything for the first few seconds.

Once they're out of earshot of the team setting up to take the free-kick, Magda looks back up from the foot with a frown. 

"It's broken isn't it?" Her face is solemn. 

"I think so," Pernille sighs, Magda saw the swelling along the bone, no point in lying. 

The first real conversation they've had all week, and it's under these circumstances. Not the ideal scenario Pernille had been imagining. 

"Fuck." 

"I know. Could just be a fracture though." 

"That's still not a great best-case scenario," Magda shakes her head. 

Injuries are the worst thing that can happen to a player. Especially foot injuries. 

"It'll be fine, now focus on that match, we still need to win it." 

"I'll talk to you straight after, keep the weight off it," 

There's not much Pernille can do except sit and wait. She keeps it elevated on the cooler box in front of her. Even the slight weight of the small ice pack is enough to provoke an ache of discomfort if she moves too much.

She's lucky it's a home game. Still in her match kit, the team doctor wastes no time and drives her straight to the hospital after. Magda keeps her promise and is right by her side after the game. She even insists on waiting with her at the hospital. 

It's a stress fracture. Apparently caused by the repeated wear and tear of high-intensity impacts.

It would've probably happened sooner or later. It starts with small cracks in the bone, that cause temporary soreness over a long period of time. The bad landing today was the final straw that caused it to shatter. 

With the amount of running and jumping she does daily, it's a common injury for footballers. 

It's still devastating when it becomes clear she'll need surgery.

Otherwise, with her profession, it'll have a high probability of recurring.

3 months out seems like a death sentence for her season. 

Magda is sitting quietly by her side as the consultant breaks the news. 

Aware of how big an impact this has on Pernille's career and livelihood as a footballer, he steps out to give them a moment to process it. 

Pernille can't help the frustrated tears. 

It's a lot to take. From a personal point, to not be able to play for so long is disappointing. It's her favourite thing to do. A life without football is bleak. Nevermind the torturous rehab work it's going to take to recover. 

Add to that the disappointment for the team. She's their highest goal scorer, take that away and she has just doomed their hopes of getting into those top 2 Champions League places this year. She knows it's not her fault, but it really feels like she just let her whole team down. 

Magda, still in her match tracksuit, shifts her chair closer and pulls her in for a tight hug.

Pernille sobs into her shoulder, feeling a comforting hand petting her hair.

Magda lets her cry, gently shushing her and cooing encouragement that it'll be alright.

The gentleness. The understanding. The support. 

To think just last week Pernille tried to push that away. Now all she wants to do is pull her closer. 

She grips Magda's jacket and cries harder at the thought of that. Why would she ever think this closeness was anything other than exactly what she wanted. The second she needed her, Magda was there for her. She showed up when it mattered. 

"I'm sorry-" Pernille sobs, the guilt of last week still eating at her. 

"I'm sorry for avoiding you, I was stupid, I, I-" 

She doesn't know where the sentence is going, but she doesn't need to find out because Magda cuts her off. 

"Shhh stop, it's alright, we're fine, we're fine, don't worry about it. " 

She rocks her back and forth until the crying subsides. 

The consultant returns a couple of minutes later to outline the surgery in more detail. 

Pernille watches on in a daze, emotionally drained after her traumatic day. 

It's Magda who leads the questioning. Asking for more information about everything. She interrogates him about the risks, about the rehabilitation program, about the time frame.

It's clear to Pernille she cares deeply. In her exhausted state, all she feels right now is grateful to have her here. She's making it all bearable. 

The surgery is set for 3 days time.

It's the waiting that's the worst. Knowing she has to sit tight and wait for the surgery before her recovery can begin is frustrating. 

The first day drags by. While everyone else is at training, Pernille is lying on her couch. With just the crutches to get around, it's not worth the pain of moving too much. 

So she watches TV for the morning. Mindlessly. Still feeling sorry for herself. 

Part of her is still in denial. Every so often she'll try moving it a bit. Try putting pressure on it, testing if it's magically healed, and growing consistently disappointed when it causes the same spike of pain.

Magda texts her during their breaks. She even visits on her way home from training, bringing food and updates of everything that happened that day. She passes on all the concerned well wishes of the squad. They're fully back on good terms. It's like last week never happened. 

Frido pops in after a while. They're good about making sure she's not isolated. The pattern repeats each evening, opting to snuggle on her couch and watch Netflix, a nice change from their usual scene of hanging out in the Swedes apartment.

Magda drives her to the hospital the night before the surgery. It'll be the first thing in the morning, so she needs to be fasting all night. Frido tags along too, helping her get settled into her private room and distracting her with bizarre commentary about Grey's Anatomy stories she remembers. 

When visiting hours are over, Frido heads off with a heartfelt hug and best wishes, but Magda, like the little rebel she is, hangs back a little longer. 

Of course, Pernille's parents and sister are well informed about what's happening. They planned to fly in the morning of the surgery, but she gets a message that night saying their flight was cancelled. She insists they don't splash out on overpriced last minute flights. Magda chimes in, promising to keep them updated. 

It's foot surgery. It's fine. She's not going to die. 

She hopes. 

The closer it gets, the more the nerves kick in. If it goes wrong, it could end her career. Dramatic, but it's true. She imagines worse case scenarios. A footballer with a dodgy foot. Not impossible, but not ideal either.

The surgeon visits them for a quick chat, to answer any questions they have or soothe any last-minute concerns. She seems nice. And she's highly qualified. Magda did extensive research on her, she's one of the best in Sweden for these types of injuries, a great track record with pro athletes and a very high success rate. At least she knows her football career is in some of the safest hands around. 

When Magda leaves shortly after that, she texts Pernille regularly to check up on her. It takes her a while to sleep in the unfamiliar hospital room, but when she does, it's all too soon before the nurse is waking her at 7 am to begin preparing for surgery. 

She's surprised when a couple of minutes later, Magda walks in. 

"What're you doing back already?" 

Magda offers a bashful smile, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. 

"I knew the surgery would be early so I came to calm you down." 

It's all happening quickly. The nurse pops her head in and informs her she'll be heading down to the OR in ten minutes. 

Her heart rate spikes. She's sure she's gone pale. This is all getting very real. 

"I'm fine," it's unconvincing. 

"Are you?" 

With a shake of her head, she meets Magda's eyes. 

"I'm terrified." 

Magda nods in understanding. She knows her well enough to anticipate every emotion. 

She scoots closer on the bed, taking her hand and offering words of encouragement and reassurance. 

It's not that she says anything particularly revolutionary, but having her presence there to calm and soothe Pernille's nerves is everything. 

It's enough of a distraction for ten minutes to pass in a blink. 

When she hears the footsteps of the nurse coming down the hall, she knows it's time. 

Just as the fear starts to spike again, Magda diffuses it by surprising her.

Pernille's mind goes blank.

Did... Did Magda just.. ? 

It's a quick featherlight kiss on her cheek, almost as soon as Magda's lips had touched her skin, they were gone.

But it's enough of a new sensation to absolutely stun Pernille. 

Her heart rate is up again, but for an entirely different reason. 

Magda pulls back smiling shyly at Pernille's shocked reaction, before gently squeezing her hand once more. 

"Good luck, I'll be right here when it's over," she says it softly. 

She reaches up for a final affectionate brush of her fingers over the spot on her lips just left, before giving a smile and stepping away from the bed just in time for the nurse to appear. 

"We're ready for you Pernille, it's time."

Pernille is still staring at Magda's smile, unable to process what just happened. 

She woke up. Then she was terrified. Then she was distracted. Then she was terrified again. And now she doesn't know what she is. 

The nurse misinterprets her confusion for fear. Snapping her out of her haze and luring her attention back with serial positivity. 

"You'll be fine! Nothing at all to be nervous about dear. You're in safe hands, you'll be back on the football field in no time!" 

Pernille manages a weak smile, climbing into the wheelchair. 

As she's wheeled away, she looks back at her a final time and returns the soft smile she's being offered. Magda stands in the middle of the room, offering a final wave and blowing a kiss, as Pernille disappears out of her sight. 

It's all Pernille's mind can focus on until she's knocked out.

The first thing she becomes aware of is the dry mouth. Then the rhythmic beeping of machines near her head. The pain is the next thing to creep into her consciousness. Her foot feels funny. 

Then she hears is the voices. 

"And what should I do when she wakes up?" 

Magda. 

"She's on very high dosages of strong pain medication, so expect her to be a little out of it. Groggy. Confused. She's basically high on painkillers." 

Who's high on painkillers? Who's Magda talking to? Why is her throat so dry? Why does her foot hurt?

As more and more things come into her consciousness, she begins to stir.

The next few minutes all she hears is Magda's voice, gently coaxing her to wake up. 

When she finally opens her eyes, the brightness is blinding. 

Eventually, the hospital room fades into view, before Magda's hopeful face, angelic as always, appears from her peripheral. 

"Hi Pernille. Wakey Wakey sleepy head." 

"Where am I?", Pernille tries to ask, but her dry throat prevents her voice from coming out. 

Magda understands immediately, helping her sit up and handing her a cup of water. 

Once she has a couple of sips, she hoarsely tries again. 

"Magda, where am I?" 

Magda looks oddly confused. Her eyes scan back and forth between Pernille's. 

"Yes I'm Magda," she says it slowly like she doesn't expect Pernille to understand. 

What does she mean she's Magda? Of course she's Magda? 

She tries again, but her voice is still a whisper. 

"No Magda, where am I, what happened?" 

She spots the bandage on her foot and panics. 

"What happened my foot?" 

She says it hoarsely again, but Magda looks at her like no words are coming out. She shakes her head. 

"I don't know what you're saying P." 

Pernille is getting agitated now. Nothing makes sense. Where is she? What happened? What's wrong with Magda. She can't remember any of it. 

The panic fuels the strength of her voice, she tries again, louder this time.

"What do you mean you don't know what I'm saying? What's wrong with you?" 

Realisation flashes across Magda's face and she places calming hands on Pernille's shoulders. 

"Shhhhh relax, it's OK. I can't understand you because you're speaking Danish."

Danish? What were they just speaking? Then it comes back to her slowly. Ah yes. Swedish. Because they're in Sweden. She plays football in Sweden. She's in hospital in Sweden. Noted. 

She honestly hadn't noticed she'd been switching between the two. Must be the painkillers. She's more awake now but everything is a little hazy. Her mind feels slow. 

She tries to switch back, but it's a conscious effort. She could understand it easily enough, but it's taking a while for the words to come to her in Swedish.

Her speech is slow. 

"Sorry, I forgot." 

"You're fine, I just couldn't hear you the first few times, I hadn't a clue what you were saying." 

"What happened my foot?" 

Magda is patient as she calmly explains. 

"You had surgery on your foot. Remember the stress fracture from the match last week? The doctors fixed it." 

Everything she's saying seems familiar. Her short term memory recall is sluggishly trying to process this. 

"Did it go OK?" 

Magda smiles and nods, "It did! I've already called your parents to tell them. The surgeon was very happy, you're going to make a full recovery." 

Pernille thinks about that information. There's still one important thing she needs to clarify. 

"I can play football again?" 

Magda laughs and pats her leg.

"You sure can, the recovery starts now!" 

"How long will the recovery take?" 

Magda starts giggling softly. 

Pernille raises her eyebrows in confusion. Did she miss something? 

"Sorry, it's just the way you pronounce recovery. Your Danish accent is really coming out when you're sleepy." 

Briefly, in her painkiller induced haze, Pernille has some unpleasant flashbacks to her first year at Linköping. Learning Swedish was hard. She didn't know the language at all when she arrived, which only compounded how isolated she felt from the group. 

Not to mention when she started to make an effort, she regularly made mistakes. The team would correct her, but not before making a joke about it.

Even when she got the words right, her pronunciation was always a bit off. Having such a strong Midtjylland accent to begin with naturally carried over into whatever language she was speaking. She couldn't help it. 

Even now, her normal Swedish is still highly accented, but it's a far cry from just how Danish it sounded at the start. 

"Sorry, " she feels the need to apologise out of habit. After all, it's something she spent a year apologising to people for, she's conscious of it. 

Magda shakes her head still giggling. 

"Why are you apologising! I haven't heard you like this before. It's nice to hear your proper accent for a change. You've been holding out on me! How hard do you be trying to tone it down usually?" 

Pernille isn't convinced, so Magda insists. 

"Really! Your normal accent is cute but this one is adorable. And to answer your question, it's three months." 

The compliment takes the sting out of the reminder she'll be out for three months.

The nurse arrives in, beaming that Pernille is awake. She does her vitals checks and asks Pernille how she's feeling, happy to hear everything is in order. 

When Frido arrives in the afternoon, she's way too amused to see Pernille has scooted over enough to let Magda lie on the bed beside her.

"Well, isn't this cosy?" is the delighted comment as she takes in the scene of Pernille's head cuddled onto Magda's shoulder as they watch something on her phone.

Magda rolls her eyes and Pernille just laughs. Neither of them bothers moving. 

The team had today off so Pernille can't feel guilty about dragging them away from training. Frido lets Magda head home to get some sleep, promising to stay in her absence. She's been there for hours, so the girls force her to take the break. She reluctantly leaves with promises of returning in a couple of hours.

The surgeon does her rounds in the late afternoon. She repeats everything Magda had said earlier. It was a great success, no complications. If she has no setbacks, she'll be back on the field in 3 months. But for now, crutches will be her new best friend.

She may be released home tomorrow evening if she's lucky.

It's only as the surgeon is leaving she turns and drops the bombshell comment. 

"Oh, and Pernille, tell Magda not to hesitate to call me if she has any more questions. She seems like a very concerned girlfriend so I'm sure she'll be worrying." 

Before Pernille can correct her, she's gone. 

As Frido turns to look at the furiously blushing Pernille, she offers a wicked smile. 

"Girlfriend, did she say?" 

Pernille doesn't know why, but she's getting more and more embarrassed.

She shoves at Frido's shoulder with a whine of protest, muttering at her to shut up. 

"Is that what I walked in on earlier?" 

"Fuck off Frido."

"Ohhhhh getting all defensive are we?"

"Frido I swear to god." 

"Awww look at baby Pernille blushinggggg, " she pinches her cheeks as Pernille swats at her hands. 

"Magda's been the only one here so... She just... I don't know... Assumed? " 

Pernille offers the explanation with an awkward shrug. 

Frido still looks highly amused. 

"Mmhmm, I wonder why, " it's sarcastic, and Pernille doesn't understand. 

"What do you mean?" 

Frido narrows her eyes at her for a second. Like she's searching Pernille's face to see if it's a genuine question. 

Eventually, after a long few seconds, she gives in. 

"Forget about it. For now." 

Just as Pernille is about to further question, Magda waltzes back in, freshly showered after her nap. 

She offers a beaming smile to Pernille at seeing her again.

"Forget about what?" 

Pernille dies a little inside. The goddamn blush starts to come back. 

"Nothing," the panic raises a suspicious eyebrow from Magda, who turns to Frido looking for an explanation. 

Don't to it Frido. Don't do it.

She doesn't want to add another layer of complication by telling Magda what just happened. 

They're back on good terms. She doesn't want their closeness to be ruined again if Magda reacts badly to people assuming they're together because of it. She doesn't want anything to change. 

Frido gauges Pernille, like she's thinking hard about whether to do it to her or not. 

The genuine terror in her eyes must be enough to talk her out of it because she covers and changes the subject. 

"Forget about Pernille telling me I need to score as many goals now as she does. Pfft as if." 

Smooth of you Frido.

Crisis averted.

It's a nice surprise when next morning, a few others from the squad come to visit. They have afternoon training so two car fulls make the stop on their way, bringing flowers and chocolates. Jennie even managed to find a balloon in the shape of a football down in the gift shop. Once the strongest of the medication wore off, the pain is worse the second day, so it's a really great distraction to have them all there. 

The nurse walks in and almost trips at the sight of 10 athletes in matching gear huddled around Pernille's bed. 

"Oh wow! You must be good, they're all here to check how soon you'll be back!" 

They get a good laugh out of that, and then, sure enough, the questions about the comeback begin. 

3 months without their best striker is bitter news to deliver, but if they're disappointed they hide it well, instead offering encouragement and positively. 

When she finally returns home that evening, Magda carries her bags and unlocks the door. She insists on staying the night in case she needs anything. 

"You really don't have to." 

"I know that, but I want to. Let me take care of you," it's more of a demand than a request. 

Magda's home-cooked dinner is a god compared to the hospital food Pernille has been eating the last couple of days. 

It's weird to see Magda move so freely around her apartment, opening drawers as she pleases and searching cabinets for the correct seasoning. She's comfortable here, Pernille realises. It's a nice sight. 

With her foot beginning to ache, Pernille announces she's heading to bed. 

Magda, already in her pyjamas too, begins to make preparations of blankets on the couch. 

"What're you doing?" 

Magda looks between the couch and Pernille like it's obvious. 

"Don't be stupid, c'mon, I have a double bed. If you thought I'd let you sleep on the couch you're delusional." 

Magda follows without any protest. 

"Well, I didn't wanna assume..." 

Pernille scoffs. Since when is Magda shy.

She thinks back to the hospital cheek kiss. She certainly wasn't shy then. 

"Well, I think you need to reevaluate our friendship because assuming is exactly the kind of thing we always do. You shouldn't even have to ask. Ever."

She has a restless night's sleep. The pain and awkward cast cause her to stir a lot. After one particularly unsettled patch, she feels Magda's arm reach around her and position herself so they're spooning. 

Once Pernille gets over the initial strangeness, she lets herself relax into the body heat. She even intertwined her hand with the one slung over her body. 

It's works, it stops the fidgeting. Not wanting to wake her means she stays still long enough to sleep soundly until Magda's alarm wakes them for training. 

It's the same thing the next day, except Pernille's family arrive in afternoon so Magda gives her some space and doesn't intrude, content to keep her distance as long as she knows Pernille is in safe hands. 

Still, she's still constantly available if Pernille needs her. She pops in for a couple of flying visits during the week, just to make sure she was doing OK. 

She's also her usual self, wooing the family and leaving a sparkling impression as always. Pernille's mother raves for hours about how sweet Magda is, and how lucky she is to have someone so caring in her life. 

If only she knew how close Pernille had been to ruining that two weeks ago.

Magda's really been an incredible help. The lengths she's gone to to make Pernille as comfortable as possible for her recovery are nothing short of extraordinary. 

With how well Magda treats her, is it any wonder Pernille is attached. 

It's a cruel twist of faith when barely a week later, Magda tears a ligament in her knee.

Literally the very next match, she accidentally collides with her own goalkeeper when trying to clear a ball and twists her knee a direction it definitely should not have been twisted. 

Fast forward two days and they're sitting on the couch in Pernille's apartment while everyone else is training. 

What are the chances? Both injured. Both on crutches. Both facing three months of recovery. 

It's going to be a long and lonely journey.

But hey, at least they'll have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was challenging to write. Had to get some more angst and denial in there from Pernille's side to keep it realistic.
> 
> The injuries were also a major influence on how much more time they start to spend with each other just before they got together, so they ended up being the main thing covered in this. Not sure how I feel about it but it seemed necessary.
> 
> And it also sets us up nicely for the long awaited Magda POV chapter ;)


	6. You Hugged The Broken From My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little something in case your Friday night is as unexciting as mine!
> 
> Over 3000 hits now, more than I could have imagined so thanks so much! As always, the comments and kudos keep me motivated and let me know the writing is still decent so really appreciate everyone who takes the time!
> 
> This a bit of a different one... the highly anticipated Magda POV!
> 
> Enjoy x

At least she can walk.

Two weeks after the injury, Magda is back on her feet. She supposes she's lucky it was an interior ligament. She still can't run, but it's a freedom to be rid of the crutches so soon.

After the first week of rest, both girls spent last week in the pool or doing upper-body work.

Magda had been heading towards the gym at the start of recovery week 3 when her phone rang. Her girlfriend. Calling at 9 am... Unusual.

It's not a nice phone call to take.

They'd been on the rocks for a while now. The long-distance. Her girlfriend's new job that doesn't allow her to travel as much. Visits have been scarce since Christmas. Things had even gotten quiet between them via phone.

They'd spoken about it before the new season. They weren't together long before Magda had to move to Linköping, but now the longer they were apart, the more the cracks started to appear.

But they'd decided to continue trying to make it work. To not jump the gun, see how things played out after Christmas. But somewhere along the line the communication just dried up.

The distance led to many arguments. Missed calls, messages not returned. While their careers soaked all their attention, they were left chasing each other's shadows. 

Magda prides herself on being a logical, level-headed person. She knows it's reasonable. She knows they had to stop holding each other back.

The logistics were just too much. The distance was unsustainable. Sometimes things just don't work out.

It's no one's fault.

By the end of the call, the silences start to creep in. Neither able to find any further words.

What do you say when there's nothing left to be said.

They won't hold it against each other.

Magda takes it on the chin and gets on with her day.

She's fine.

There's recovery to be done. There's a comeback to complete.

She keeps it to herself until that evening.

"You're very quiet," Pernille comments over dinner.

They're at the Dane's apartment, refuelling with a big meal after a long day of recovery work. Their usual routine since rehab started.

Magda knows she's quiet. Since the second she finished the last set of reps in the gym this evening, she's been thinking about the breakup.

She's a professional. She had compartmentalised. Boxed it away and focused on the job at hand. But once there were no more exercises to keep her distracted, her mind immediately wandered back.

It's sad. It was a serious long-term relationship, and now it's over. She loved her. She understands there was no solution to the distance other than one of them moving. She wasn't willing to leave Linköping, and she would never ask anyone she loves to sacrifice their own career and move to her.

Pernille is still waiting for an explanation.

Madga places down her fork and rolls her shoulder in preparation. She's a strong person. She can do this. Picking a safe spot on the table to stare at, she takes a deep breath, and lets it all out.

The call. All the reasons. The distance. The arguments. How it was somewhat amicable, considering they both know it couldn't be fixed. How she buried the pain all day. How it's been on her mind since.

The tears come near the end. The instant her voice cracks Pernille is up out of her chair, awkwardly hopping over and pulling her into a tight hug.

She's let cry in peace for the first few sobs before Pernille starts coaxing her to calm down with soothing words and rubbing her back.

Pernille is good at this. Comforting people. She's gently drying the tears with her sleeve and murmuring soft encouragement as she pets her hair.

She says all the right things. Sympathises. Doesn't say a bad word about the girlfriend. Doesn't blame her. Reassures Magda that if they were both unhappy, they probably did the right thing. She doesn't try to give her opinion. Doesn't offer her two cents. She just supports her, and it's all Magda needs right now.

Once Pernille is satisfied the tears have dried up, she confuses Magda by hopping across the kitchen without her crutches.

"Get up, c'mon," she says rummaging through a cupboard.

"Why?"

Magda doesn't feel like standing. She doesn't feel like doing anything. Heartbreak just drains your energy. She'd rather sit here and wallow.

It's less effort to be sad.

"We're baking, get up!"

Much to Magda's surprise, Pernille produces a box of ready-made brownie mix. She waves it at her temptingly.

"C'monnn... You know you want to... They're your favourite!"

"I don't know P, I just-"

Pernille cuts her off.

"-Brownies make everything better. Especially breakups. Trust me. I'd been saving them for after the hard sessions on Friday but now seems like as good a time as any," she shrugs, waving the box again and offering a hopeful smile.

Does she really have a choice?

Madga closes her eyes and groans, giving in immediately. Of course she does. She always does. It's Pernille. Saying no would be like kicking a puppy.

She drags herself across the kitchen as Pernille cheers in victory and goes about getting the necessary equipment.

Magda doesn't participate immediately, preferring to lean against the wall and sulk, letting Pernille do all the work.

Pernille is still balancing on one leg, impressively keeping the injured one off the ground.

After struggling to reach a high shelf, she loses her balance and wobbles, about to have to catch herself on her bad foot.

Magda spots the slip and stretches out to catch her waist from behind, steadying her just before it happens.

She rolls her eyes and scoffs fondly at the clumsiness yet again. Still holding her waist, she spins her around and lifts her up to sit on the counter in one clean motion.

"Sit there, you'll hurt yourself," she scolds an embarrassed Pernille with a pointed finger, before preheating the oven and picking up where she'd left off.

They fight over the amount of sugar to be added.

"It's prepacked, they've premeasured it, this is the correct amount," she's tightly holding Pernille's wrist, who's attempting to spill some of her own bag of sugar into the mixture.

"No but that's just their opinion, it's never sweet enough, a little more won't hurt," she strains to break free of the grasp, but Magda holds tight.

"They literally make the recipe. They know what they're doing!"

"So do I! And I want it sweet!"

"You'll ruin it, just follow the rules!"

"It's baking! There are no rules. Live a little!"

Magda thinks it pretty much sums them up.

She's always logical. Focused. She likes facts. She likes things to have order. Always a fan of rules and strategy, she follows them when she knows it'll achieve the desired outcome.

Pernille on the other hand.

Pernille is just a wild card. Wholesome, with a streak of mischief. She does what she wants. She gives in to every whim or idea. She likes spontaneity. She likes to wing things. She'll break a rule without hesitation if she thinks it'll achieve a better outcome without hurting anyone. The only thing in life she takes seriously is football.

Magda will colour inside the lines with dedicated precision, and Pernille will smile in your face as she blatantly colours outside them, probably even adding glitter if she thought it'd make someone happy.

For so much in common, there's also so much that's not. They usually find a balanced compromise.

In the middle of it all, Pernille somehow finds the sappiest playlist ever on Spotify, with all the cheesiest breakup classics. She blasts it as they bake, passionately screaming the lyrics at Magda, actively provoking her until she cracks and screams them back.

She pauses it to ask something.

"See? Isn't this therapeutic?"

"I don't know if that's the word I'd use. Here, open this, my hands are wet, " she hands Pernille the packet of sealed flour.

Pernille holds it out in front of her and it takes a couple of attempts to get a good grip on the plastic. Magda looks away while she dries her hands. Pernille must've added some extra force because when Magda turns back, it's at exactly the wrong moment.

It flies open, a large cloud of flour puffing straight into Magda's face.

She had enough instinct to close her eyes in time. But she can feel the soft coat of flour covering all her features.

After the initial gasp from both of them, the kitchen falls into silence except for the low hum of the oven fan.

Magda stands frozen. Face scrunched. Fists clenched by her sides at the shock.

She waits another couple of moments and is about to speak when Pernille's quiet laugh under breath can be heard. She's laughing at her.

Magda smooths out her face. Puts her hands on her hips and tries to convey her utmost displeasure with a glare.

"Pernille..."

It takes what sounds like a couple of deep breaths before Pernille can answer without laughing. Magda can't open her eyes to check because the flour will surely sting.

"Mmhmm?"

More breathy giggles.

"What the fuck did you do?" Magda can't even hide the laughter creeping into her own voice as she tries fighting a smile.

Pernille bursts out laughing, triggering Magda to do the same.

Magda hears the distinct sound of a digital camera shutter and tries to scowl through the laughter in the direction she has no doubt Pernille is taking pictures of her from.

"I'm so sorry," Pernille eventually declares, punctuated with the sound of her hopping off the counter.

Magda hears water run and feels the soft brush of a wet towel across her eyelids.

Pernille places a hand on her shoulder to balance herself, and tentatively cleans all around Magda's eyes before announcing she's sure she's gotten most of it.

"OK now open," they're standing so close she says it quietly.

Magda carefully opens her eyes, blinking quickly to refocus her vision. Nothing stings.

The first thing she sees is Pernille's face, only a few inches away.

Surprised at the proximity, she stares for a second, but Pernille stares back, scanning back and forth between her eyes intently, checking for any signs of discomfort.

Once she seems satisfied with her wellbeing, she breaks the eye contact and takes a step back.

The guilty smile, beaming ear to ear. The way she's looking out from under her eyelashes as she sheepishly says sorry leaves Magda with no choice but to forgive her.

"You're the clumsiest person I have ever met," she shakes her head in disbelief, causing more flour to float in the air around her.

"And you're the palest," she flashes the picture for Magda to see and instantly their laughter bubbles up again, her coated face is priceless.

Magda reaches down and carefully catches the injured foot, pretending she's about to violently twist it in retaliation. Pernille's initial high pitched scream of fear is revenge enough.

Pernille insists Magda take a shower while the brownies are baking. She agrees, feeling the flour already drying out her skin and leaving a horrible taste on her lips.

"Can I borrow some clean clothes too?"

"Yeah sure, I'll leave some outside the door. Towels are on the bottom shelf as usual."

When she's showered and opens the door to collect the clothes, she audibly scoffs at Pernille's choice.

The Winnie The Pooh pyjama shorts are fine. Cute, even. It's the Denmark football jersey she's been given that really gets to her. She holds it on one finger and crinkles her nose in disgust. Pernille forcing her to wear her arch-rivals colours. The audacity.

She briefly considers putting back on her flour-covered shirt.

The second she appears in the kitchen, Pernille wolf whistles through her laughter. Magda's scowl only deepens.

"Do you not think I had a bad enough day? Besides forcing me to wear this?"

"Nahhh it suits you, red is definitely your colour. Sit down, have a brownie," she's sitting in the dark, snuggled in a blanket on the couch with Netflix on, offering a plate of gorgeous looking brownies in Magda's direction.

Reluctantly, Magda plods over in bare feet, throwing dirty looks and dramatically snatching a brownie before settling in under the blanket with more force than necessary.

"You have to admit it was funny."

"I didn't think so."

"Yes you didddd, admit it," she starts poking at Magda's stern expression and lifting the Denmark crest up to her lips trying to force her to kiss it.

Magda catches Pernille by the wrists and easily wrestles her back out of her space, failing badly to hide the smile.

"Whatever."

In true breakup fashion, they go for a rom-com.

As the movie drags on, the earlier disagreements are forgotten, and they settle back into the usual closeness Magda has come to cherish. Cuddling is a gift from the gods.

She's not sure when exactly Pernille falls asleep. She'd been resting her head on Magda's shoulder for a while, but sometime in the last hour, she must've dozed off. It's only when the credits end and the room is plunged into silence that her even breathing exposes her.

For the first time today, Magda is left alone with her thoughts.

Turning her head slightly to catch a view of Pernille's peaceful face, one overriding feeling hits Magda hard.

She's lucky to have her.

Pernille has that magical quality of being able to make you smile, whatever the circumstances.

She just turned one of the shittiest days of Magda's life into a lovely evening filled with laughter and support. She went out of her way to make it great. To be a distraction. To be everything Magda needed her to be.

She's lucky to have her, because for that one week when she didn't, it was absolute torture. She's still not sure what happened. Things had been going so well. They were best friends. They shared everything with each other. They spent all their time together. They had such a natural closeness. She's never had a best friend like her. Magda loved it. Treasured it.

Then bang. It just switched. Like Pernille just woke up one day and decided to avoid her. She still doesn't know if it was something she said or did.

Whatever the reason, deciding to play dirty and give her the cold shoulder was a mistake. Every time she'd see the sadness in her eyes. The disappointment when Magda would ignore her. The genuine pout. It was heart-breaking. She hated being the cause of it.

She's glad that's behind them, even if it did take a bad injury to build the bridge.

As she glances down the couch at the bandaged foot peeping out from under the blanket, she's taken back to that morning at the hospital.

If you asked Pernille, she'd probably tell you Magda was calm. Collected. Very in control of the situation and confident of its success.

That's what she made sure Pernille saw, but under the mask, the fear was paralysing.

With no family around, Magda tried her hardest to fill that role as best she could.

It was a lot of pressure.

She knew she had to play it right, be a rock, not cause any panic. Keep it all nice and steady. Not let it show how much she was worrying.

It worked for the most part. She calmed her down. She kept her distracted. It was almost the perfect performance.

Her only mistake was the kiss.

It was pure instinct. As soon as she heard the nurse coming, she knew it was time. She knew Pernille was going under the knife. She knew it was low risk, but her irrational brain was screaming that any risk at all was too high. Pernille meant too much. She was worth too much. Magda thought she might be about to lose her best friend.

Looking at her bright blue eyes and tiny frame in the big white hospital bed, Magda was floored by how young she looked. How vulnerable.

The darkest part of her mind whispered that this could be the last time she'd see her. A single demon floated around in her head.

What if she didn't wake up?

In the moment of desperation, when she leaned in and pressed her lips to soft skin, her mind was thinking one thing, and one thing only.

This might be goodbye.

She knew it was a mistake by Pernille's stunned reaction. She knew it was out of character. She knew it crossed a line of closeness that they had.

But she couldn't take it back by then.

What do you say? Sorry if that was weird, don't freak out but I'm afraid you might die so I needed to console myself with a goodbye kiss?

Hardly.

Instead, she had to commit to it. Smile. Act natural. Play it off.

The nurse arrived quickly and brought Pernille away.

She was barely out of sight before the tears fell.

Magda sat in the room alone and tortured herself with imagining life without Pernille.

When the nurse popped her head in to say it went well and she was in recovery, Magda nearly cried again.

Pernille was fine. Her best friend was fine.

It's dramatic to say, but she's never felt such relief in her life.

It was then she realised just how much she cared.

Now here they are, safe and sound.

Finished with reminiscing, she glances at the clock, and upon seeing it's 10 pm, remembers that Pernille has pain medication to take around now. Reluctantly she wakes her and thanks her for everything, heading to grab her keys.

Before she leaves, Pernille realizes how cold it is and grabs a warm hoodie, forcing Magda to put it on. She offers pants too, but Magda insists the drive is short, she'll be fine.

It's only when she gets into her car and shivers, pulling the hood up over her head, the smell of Pernille hits her. It's summery. Must be her perfume.

She'd be lying if she said she didn't sleep in the hoodie that night, taking comfort in the familiarity of the scent.

It was also a hard one to explain when Frido finds the Denmark jersey in the laundry the next evening.

"Is there something I should know?"

She turns it around slowly, eyebrows up and pointedly looking between the name on the back and Magda.

"Uh, it's a long story," Magda awkwardly rubs the back of her neck. She doesn't want to get into all the details.

"Mmhmm. I bet it is," she sounds sceptical.

Magda also thinks she hears her muttering something under her breath about 'you two are turning into a long fucking story as well', but she can't be sure she heard correctly.

When Magda asks what she means, Frido tells her to figure it out.

Well then. Someone is acting strange. Maybe she's getting jealous of how close they've become. Magda just lets it go.

After that, the girls develop a nice routine.

With Frido having a different schedule now, they stopped carpooling. Magda picks Pernille up and they'll have breakfast together at the club. Their rehab plans are a little different in terms of activity, but they're always training side-by-side in the same gym or pool, so it doesn't matter much. They'll have lunch at the same time. Their physio and doctor appointments are always scheduled back to back. They usually get to finish a little earlier in the evenings than the others so Magda drives them back to Pernille's apartment where they have dinner and spend the evening together. Frido sometimes makes an appearance too.

Magda's days are well and truly filled with Pernille.

In the gym, she finds her focus and determination inspiring. The way she pushes the limits, totally dedicating herself to recovering as well as she can.

When the sessions get hard, when the workouts start to hurt and Magda struggles, Pernille's there to cheer her up. Her laugh alone can take the edge off the roughest of days.

The closer they get, the more time Magda spends with her in a variety of other contexts.

She often catches herself marvelling at her personality.

Pernille is naturally just the most joyful person. Even in the face of this injury. Even with the gruelling rehab. She smiles through every sentence.

At any given time, chances are she has a small smile on her face, ready to blossom for the slightest reason. She's the type of person that smiles at you until you smile. You can't be sad with her going around flashing grins like that. It's too heart-warming.

She's too pure.

As their rehab days together get longer and their morale takes a hit, Magda makes a sport of trying to get Pernille to smile as much as possible. She makes it easy, of course. But Magda notices herself going out of her way with kindness and sweet gestures, just to have that smile directed at her.

It's the smaller things that get the biggest smiles. Magda holding doors open for her. Or automatically returning from the fridge with two bottles of water instead of one. She's even begun instinctively splitting whatever food she has, offering half to Pernille without a second thought, always resulting in a warm smile of thanks.

It's addictive.

One month into recovery and they decide to feed their other addiction.

This time it's Pernille's turn to ditch the crutches, so they go for some fancy coffee on their day off to celebrate.

It's a cosy little cafe, nestled on the corner of a busy city street. With the rain coming down heavy now, the blast of heat when they enter is a welcome sensation.

Inside it's all soft golden lightning and dark mahogany furniture. The floor to ceiling windows are fogging in patches. Bright abstract art hangs on the exposed brick walls. Some potted plants offer natural pops of green. It's completed with some classical piano, carrying gently thorough the speakers.

A venue worthy of the occasion.

Shedding their raincoats, Magda picks a table near the window and they settle in.

There's a loose scattering of people occupying tables, but Magda notices there's no queue at the counter so she decides to make the most of it and stands.

"The usual?" she's memorised Pernile's order for over a year now.

"Yes please, here use my card," she tries to offer her debit card with firm insistence.

Magda rolls her eyes. They go for meals together multiple times per week now. They still do this every time.

"We're celebrating, so I'm paying. Do you want anything else?"

"Wanna share a pastry?"

They relax into easy conversation as they split the cinnamon bun and sip on their lattes.

As she casually glances at her soundings and notices the handful of couples around them, a fleeting thought strikes her.

Magda can't control her mind from drawing similarities between this, and the many coffee dates she and her ex-girlfriend went on.

The laughter. The effortless conversation. The smiles. That warm feeling. It all hits a bit close to home.

She shakes the thought away, disappointed in herself. She's just lonely. They've been spending so much more time together she's probably getting attached.

She seriously needs to stop projecting onto poor Pernille.

It's only coffee between friends.

No need to be reading into it.

God she needs to get out more.

Magda considers herself to be tough, but even with each other for support, the rehab work is brutal. It's mentally draining to be working alone, doing the same exercises day in day out. It's frustrating to only make tiny steps of progress every day. The boring repetition really numbs your mind, they both find it increasingly hard to stay motivated.

Magda doesn't envy anyone who has to go through a long recovery on their own. She can't imagine that isolation. Having heard the war stories of the year-long ACL rehabs, she knows things could be a lot worse.

At least she has Pernille.

To change it up and keep themselves sane, they start to make a habit of going on adventures on their day off.

The week after the coffee shop, the weather has cleared up nicely. It's a cloudless sunny day, despite being cold as always. Fancying some fresh air, they decide to head outside the city to make the most of it.

Magda arrives at Pernille's apartment that afternoon and waits while she gets ready.

Her hair appears to be the delay.

Magda watches on as she impatiently tries 3 different hairstyles, visibly unhappy with each one.

She's pulling the ponytail back down when Magda finally inquires.

"Is there a reason you're playing hairdresser?"

She turns and gives her a look.

"I fell asleep on wet hair last night, and now it's gone so frizzy I can't do anything with it," Pernille explains, puffing her cheeks in annoyance and blowing the hair out of her eyes in the process.

Magda gives it a once over, and sure enough, it's awfully frizzy. Leaving it down will be a mess because there a pretty strong breeze outside. That'll only escalate the situation.

She has a solution.

Sitting forward on the couch, she beckons her over.

"C'mere, I have an idea," she reaches a hand out for the brush and directs Pernille to the floor.

Pernille willingly obliges, sitting in front of Magda's legs as instructed.

Magda begins combing through it gently, before setting the brush down and separating out strands.

"What're you doing?"

"A French plait," she mumbles, tongue already poking out in concentration.

"You know how to do that?" she can't keep the surprise out of her voice.

Magda doesn't know whether to be offended or not. Does she not look capable of a nice plait? She knows she can be a tomboy at times, but what about her suggests she doesn't know how to do girly things too?

"Don't act so surprised, jeez. My sister taught me. No need to be so judgy. "

"No, it's not that. But your hair is never plaited, I just didn't know you could do it."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me," it comes out far flirtier than she had intended.

Shit.

She was so busy concentrating on the technique, her voice dropped even lower than usual, adding to the insinuation.

She knows it's a loaded line. One she'd usually associate with flirty conversations. She really doesn't know why she decided now was the moment to produce it. It's not the time nor the place. Nor the company. It's not like she's trying to flirt with Pernille.

Even if she was... It's not like it'd work.

For the briefest second, her mind wanders.

What if...

She slams the brakes on that thought.

For fuck sake Magda she's straight.

And your best friend.

Get a grip.

She clears her throat and is glad Pernille doesn't have eyes in the back of her head, the blush would blind her.

Magda pretends she didn't say it, continuing braiding in silence, willing it to be over.

"I guess there is," is the quiet response from Pernille after a few moments. She sounds like she's considering just what those things might be.

Gathering the final strands of platinum hair, Magda runs a slow single finger along the back of Pernille's exposed neck, careful to collect all of them into her grip.

What she wasn't anticipating, is the trail of Goosebumps her touch seems to leave.

Pernille sits very still. Rigid, even. Magda notices the change in body language.

Curious about the reaction, she goes against her better judgement and repeats the motion, higher this time. From pulse point to pulse point, she gently drags a single finger.

The reaction repeats. Goosebumps.

Weird. Maybe her hands are cold.

"All done, go take a look," she pats Pernille's shoulders in dismissal after tying the plait tightly.

She actually did a great job, a big improvement from the frizz fiasco.

Pernille turns away from her hall mirror with a massive smile.

"You're gonna be sorry you told me you can do this. It's gorgeous. "

There's an obvious response.

"Not as gorgeous as you P," she plays it off with the exaggerated wink.

After what happened earlier, Magda almost doesn't say it. But she knows that if she consciously holds back, well then that turns it into a whole thing. That gives it credibility. That makes it weird. She doesn't want it to manifest. It's nothing. They're best friends. Best friends compliment each other.

Pernille's smiling eye roll lets her know she made the right choice.

Lake Roxen is only a twenty-minute drive outside the city.

Grabbing coffee on the way, they park and find a nice patch of grass on a high bank, giving them a decent view of the lake.

For the most part, the spot they picked is pretty abandoned. There are a few sailboats in the distance, but people on the shore are rather scarce. It isn't exactly beach weather yet.

They're quiet as they stare at the view and drink their coffee. Away from the noise of the city and stress of their rehab, it's peaceful to just sit.

Lovely and all as it is, it loses its novelty after a few minutes. When the shiver hits, Magda starts to fidget and look around some more.

Naturally, her eyes land on Pernille.

Magda stares, but in her defence, she has a good reason this time.

Pernille's eyes.

Wow.

Whatever angle the golden spring sunlight is hitting at, the blue eyes are shining brighter than the water they're trailed on.

"You literally have the bluest eyes I've ever seen," Magda breaks their silence, making sure to stop staring before she says it.

Pernille laughs at the randomness.

"What, you mean these old things?"

When Magda looks back, Pernille has her eyes crossed in different directions and is pulling a funny face.

"You're an idiot."

"An idiot with the bluest eyes you've ever seen," there's a smug wink in there too. She makes a point of putting on her sunglasses to hide her eyes out of spite.

Magda pushes her shoulder, and upon feeling the soft fabric, realises she's only wearing a hoodie. Magda has 4 layers on. It's literally freezing.

"Where's your jacket?" she says with some alarm.

"Oh, yeah. I left it on the counter at home," Pernille folds her arms across her body and tries to rub some heat back into it. She looks a bit embarrassed by her mistake.

"Why didn't you say something? You're freezing. Do you want my jacket?" she's about to unzip it when Pernille protests.

"There's no way I'm taking your jacket. Then you'll freeze!"

"Wait, I actually think I have a spare in the car, hang on."

She returns and hands it to Pernille with a triumphant smirk.

It's a blue Swedish football national team jacket, with the crest on the front and bright yellow letters spelling 'SWEDEN' on the back.

Pernille is both amused and unimpressed.

"Did you plan this?"

"Karma plans itself P. Go on, put it on. I'm sure blue is your colour," she's enjoying this way too much.

"I feel like a traitor," is the statement as she zips it up.

She tries to smack the phone out of Magda's hand when she sees the pictures being taken.

"Denmark's sweetheart, playing for the other team. What will the media make of that?"

She's awarded what feels like the hundredth eye roll of the day.

"I'll get you back for this."

A promise.

"I look forward to it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it harder than I imagined? God yes.
> 
> Am I happy with how it eventually turned out? I think so.
> 
> Struggled to get the hang of it, but hopefully it really took the story to a better place and added some excitement and anticipation now that we can hear what Magda has to say.
> 
> Think I found a decent balance between moving it forward and reminiscing on some key moments they shared, but from Magda's perspective.
> 
> Lemme know how it reads!


	7. The Heavens Cried For You To Be Close To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aliveeee :) 
> 
> As usual, thanks so much to everyone for their comments and kudos on the last chapter! From what I'm hearing it was the best one yet, the response was amazing (1,000 hits since!), so I'm glad the M POV works! Swapping back to P for this one, will alternate between the two in future!
> 
> I've also joined tumblr as @cupidwriter in case anyone wants to send me questions/comments there! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one :)

They're winning.

Watching on from an empty section of the stand, Pernille and Magda are delighted to see an early goal from Frido. It's week 7 of recovery, over halfway there, so they turn up to support the team for the latest home game.

Ten minutes in Frido scores a lovely chip, wheeling towards them, throwing a hand heart celebration up in their direction.

Pernille is proud of her. Frido's really stepping up for the team in her absence, it makes the guilt of being injured a little lighter.

It's an interesting experience, to spectate a match with Magda. They chose an isolated corner of the stand so they could comment freely without it being overheard by the fans a couple of sections away. 

It's nice to hear Magda's thought process. It's completely different from a defender's perspective. What Pernille considers good attacking play, Magda chalks down to defensive mistakes. There are two sides to every story. 

In between breaks of play, they slide back towards normal conversation. It's intellectual as ever.

"Are all of your clothes three sizes too big?"

Pernille looks up from adjusting the zip of her knee-length parka, to find Magda watching her in amusement.

"You literally have the same jacket," it's official team gear, usually for the substitutes, but they all have it.

"Yeah, but why does all of your gear look the wrong size. I noticed it with your training tops too. You look tiny in it," Magda easily grabs a fistful of excess fabric at the hip to prove her point.

"I don't know, I like to be cosy so I normally go for things with extra long sleeves," she looks down and demonstrates, shaking the floppy material covering her hands, before stretching her arms out to reveal some nice gloves.

It's a particularly cold day in Linköping. Even for May, there's a bite to the air that nips at exposed skin. It's especially bad when you're sitting still outdoors, so Pernille came prepared.

"Gotta be honest, I'm kinda jealous of the gloves, I forgot mine and this stupid jacket had no pockets," she slaps at the training jacket front in frustration before bringing her hands to her lips and trying to warm them with a combination of her breath and vigorously rubbing them together. 

It's useless, the skin is bright red. They actually look quite sore. 

Pernille decides to check something. 

She shoves her hand into the parka pocket and tries wiggling it around. There's definitely room. 

Pulling off her glove, she grabs Magda's furthest hand and pulls it onto that instead.

Magda lets her do it, but looks underwhelmed at the solution. 

"Now we're both going to lose one hand to frostbite," she jokes. 

"No one's losing anything today. Not this match, not our hands, nothing." 

That being said, she almost loses her nerve.

This solution hinges on her bravery. 

She grabs the icy hand nearest her, intertwining the fingers with her own, before stuffing their joined hands into the padded pocket of her parka.

Of course, she then starts to doubt it. They're close, but are they this close? Maybe it's a bit much. 

The smile that spreads across Magda's lips is rather shy. Her eyes are soft as cold fingers squeeze Pernille's in thanks. 

Pernille just smiles, returning her attention to the match and gently rubbing a warm thumb over the hand in reply. 

Sometimes a gesture can exceed words. They don't need to talk about it. For Pernille, it was a natural solution. 

Magda was cold, so she fixed it. Simple. 

The tingling sensation she feels in her stomach while holding Magda's hand... Not so simple.

She tries to focus on the match. But with Magda's fingers tightening when there's a goal chance, or her hand jerking slightly as their keeper makes a good save, Pernille can't seem to take her mind off it.

It's fine. It's casual. They're holding hands, strictly for practical heating purposes. 

Or so Pernille tells herself. 

So why is it when Magda pulls her hand out at half time with a regretful smile, that Pernille immediately misses the contact?

"I'll grab us some drinks. Do you want a coffee or hot chocolate?" 

"Hot chocolate, please," the last thing she needs is caffeine, her stomach is already feeling fuzzy enough. 

She watches as Magda skips down the concrete steps with ease. They're both making great progress with their recovery, it's nice to be able to do the basic things again. Pitch sessions are back next week, then it'll kick up a notch. 

While she's waiting, she stares into space and lets her mind run free. There's a lot to sort through. 

How helpless it feels to be watching the team instead of playing with them. How badly she can't wait to get back out there. How lucky she is to have Magda for company during this difficult situation. How nice it was to hold her hand...

Just as she's about to dwell on that last feeling, the movement to her right breaks her concentration. It's Magda, with a tray of drinks in one hand, and holding a little girl's hand in the other.

Pernille smiles at her. She's about 6. Blonde. Wearing a Linköping Jersey over her coat. A middle-aged blonde woman is hovering a few metres behind them. 

Leaning her head down towards her legs, she tries to make herself as small and unintimidating as possible. 

"Hello there, what's your name?" 

The child just looks up at Magda, before hiding behind her leg. 

Magda smiles down and hands Pernille the tray to leave on the ground, before crouching down to cuddle the little girl from behind. 

Her voice takes on a softness Pernille has never heard before. 

"This is Emily, she plays football too! Don't you Emily? You mom told me you're very good!" 

The little girl is swaying side to side under the attention, but shyly nodding at Magda's praise. 

Every time Pernille looks at her, Emily nervously looks away.

Magda is putting on a big animated performance and it's the most ridiculous thing Pernille has ever seen.

"Now Emily here is a big Linköping fan! You and your mom go to all the games, isn't that right?"

Another shy nod. 

"So here's the most important part... Who's your favourite player Emily?" 

Magda is leaning around her shoulder, smiling into her face encouragingly. 

She's met with silence so she continues unfazed. 

"Is it..... Me?" she points to herself with a dramatic gasp. 

A small shake of a head. 

"No? What about..... Frido?" she points down and waves at the players in the distance returning to the field after halftime. 

Frido, who happened to be watching them, returns Magda's wave. 

Another shake of the head. 

"Hmmm... I wonder who could it be?" 

She makes a show of putting a hand up to shield her eyes while scanning the empty seats around them, looking everywhere but Pernille. 

Until a tiny voice finally speaks. 

"It's Pernille," getting brave, she looks up at Pernille and holds the eye contact a little longer now. 

It's the cutest little Swedish accent Pernille has ever heard. 

Her heart melts on the spot. Such an adorable child. 

Holding Pernille's eyes Magda leans over to loudly whisper to Emily "She's my favourite too!" 

The flash of mischief in the smirk almost distracts Pernille from the introduction at hand.

"Nice to meet you, Emily! Aren't you just the cutest thing! Can I have a hug?" 

Excited to meet her idol, the smile as she skips a couple of steps and falls into Pernille's arms is so wholesome

Pernille sits her up on one knee so they can talk. 

"And I'm your favourite player? Wow, I'm so honoured! Why did you choose me?" 

Emily doesn't stop smiling after that. 

"Because you're fast and you score lots of goals!" 

"That's a great reason! And when you play, do you score lots of goals too?"

She thinks hard about it. She glances at her mom, who offers an encouraging nod for her to continue. She seems troubled as she answers. Well... As troubled as a 6-year-old can be about 6-year-old things. 

"Only sometimes. The coach makes me defend too," the nose crinkle as she says it causes the girls to laugh. 

Pernille throws a triumphant eyebrow raise at Magda, who's looking mighty offended. 

"Well defending is important too! Magda here is very good at it!" 

She smiles over at Magda as she delivers the compliment, and Emily enthusiastically nods her agreement.

Magda takes it as her cue to chime in. 

"Well, personally I think it's veryyy important! So Pernille, Emily and her Mom spotted us sitting over here when I was on my way to get coffee. She was wondering if you'd sign her shirt and take a picture?" 

"Absolutely!" 

They both wave as she hops down the steps holding her mom's hand, with her freshly signed shirt and picture with her favourite players. 

"I didn't know you were so good with children," all eyes back on the match, she blindly elbows Magda as she makes the observation. 

"I've already told you, there's a lot of things you don't know about me," Pernille looks at her just in time to see the glint in her eye. She sounds far more comfortable saying it this time round. 

Of course, Pernille's mind immediately goes back to that afternoon. The French plait. The torturous touch across the back of her neck. It was electrifying. The first time it happened she thought it was just the cold. But the second time, the unmistakable sensation of tingles as Magda traced fingers across her skin. She didn't sleep a wink that night trying to figure out where the feeling came from. A simple touch like that shouldn't have caused her heart to hammer. 

Unless...? 

No. Not possible. It's Magda, she doesn't think of her like that. In fact, she doesn't think of any girl like that... Or at least she hasn't.

She buries that confusing thought.

Everything carries on as normal.

Everything except for how aware she suddenly becomes of Magda's presence. 

It's like the harder she tries not to focus on her, the more aware she is of her every breath. And touch. And gesture. 

It's a busy Saturday night in Linköping. Deciding to extend their rehab adventures beyond Sundays, they settled on dinner at a new high-end restaurant right in the heart of the city. 

Once they park, navigating the busy route to the address proves difficult. There are so many people out and about, the city is alive. 

It's a welcome surprise to feel Magda's firm hand pressing on her lower back, protectively leading her through the crowds. Glancing at Magda's blank face, she doesn't think she has even noticed she's doing it. 

Initially, Pernille doesn't think much of it. The street was busy, it made sense to stay close. 

But once they're inside the gorgeous venue with the waiter taking their coats and leading them to their table, Magda's hand automatically finds it's way back. Gently touching the back of her dress, guiding Pernille to follow the waiter. 

Indoors, it's highly unnecessary. But she honestly doesn't think Magda even realizes she doing it, so there's no need to read into it. They've always been affectionate. Maybe it's only now she's starting to really notice it. 

The restaurant itself is stunning. She's glad they dressed up, the fanciness is almost intimidating. 

Speaking of intimidating, then there's Magda, sitting across the table looking stunning. Hair loosely curled, tight sleeveless dress. She kept her makeup simple but with a bone structure like that, it doesn't take much.

It's not that she'd forgotten how pretty Magda was. She thinks about it every single time she sees her. Magda is a pretty person, these are just facts. But she'd just gotten so used to their usual no makeup and often sweaty training looks, it's a bit of a slap to see just how nicely Magda cleans up. 

Pernille notices the double-takes by a couple of men as they pass the table. She really, really doesn't blame them. 

Magda just looks on, gorgeous and oblivious, more concerned with what Pernille is thinking of ordering. She divides her attention between looking down at the menu and looking straight into Pernille's eyes. The green really pops with the eyeliner. It takes a few moments to remember it's not polite to stare. 

A small part of Pernille is smug that Magda is here with her, and not anyone else. 

A weirdly possessive thought to have, but it's there nonetheless.

With that aside, everything is going wonderfully, until Magda decides to be chivalrous and pour their water. 

Lifting the huge jug off the table, Pernille can't stop herself from being distracted by Magda's muscles. The tanned arm, flexing as it holds the heavy jug. Her bicep is bulging as she steadily pours Pernille a glass, before pouring her own. 

She's so... Sculpted.

But why does that cause Pernille to blush?

Pernille knew she was strong, she does lots of weights, especially upper body during recovery. She just hadn't noticed how toned Magda's physique was because of it. 

She looks so fit. 

From a strictly athletic standpoint of course. 

Athlete to athlete.

She's envious. 

That's it. She wishes she had arms like that. She's just jealous. Maybe she needs to hit the gym more, that might help.

The following afternoon they venture to a massive forest about an hour outside the city. Despite having brilliant hiking trails, it's rather remote. When they pull up in the almost empty car park, the lack of phone service is a strong indication of just how isolated they are. 

It's the perfect chance for Pernille to clear her mind. 

Deciding to leave their phones in the car to fully disconnect, they wander over to examine the giant map. Naturally, they choose the most difficult route. 7 miles. Even on days off, the competitiveness never stops.

The first thing that hits Pernille is the freshness. She takes a deep breath and fills her lungs with the pure air. It's so nice to be among nature. 

From where they stand in the clearing of the car park, they're surrounded by giant trees on all four sides. They're several stories high, swaying lightly to reveal patches of a cloudy backdrop above them. 

It's nice hiking weather. Knowing they'll probably keep a brisk pace, Pernille opted for shorts and a long-sleeved tee-shirt. Magda, ever the overachiever, is also rocking shorts, but pairing them with a sleeveless muscle top. Hardly the weather for it but Pernille doesn't comment. 

Once Magda loads her keys and their two bottles of water into her small bag, she swings it onto her back and they head deeper into the forest. 

It's a gravel path, with just enough space for them to walk side by side. The trees are towering. All around them is just a wall of dull noise, with the distinct sound of leaves rustling in the breeze. It's almost eerie. Pernille checks over her shoulder for a murderer several more times than she'd like to admit. 

Then again, even if something jumps out of the bushes, she's confident Magda will put up a good fight. Have you seen those arms?

They keep a nice pace, chatting easily as they make their way through the never-ending green. 

They're about an hour in when Pernille spots something colourful up ahead. 

A playground, hidden in a little clearing on the left. 

There's plenty of different activities. The centrepiece is a giant jungle gym, with a curly slide and many different versions of monkey bars. There are also two sets of swings, a couple of seesaws, and those spring-loaded animal rides. 

They veer off their trail and wander in to investigate. 

It's cool... But Pernille doesn't understand why it's here. 

"Why is it so far in? Surely no kids would be hiking that route?" 

Magda is running a hand along the tube slide, bending down to peer up into it. It causes her voice to echo as she replies. 

"I think the easy trail meets ours here, there's a second entrance over by the swings." 

Pernille looks over, and sure enough, the distinct blue coded signs indicate the easy trail ends here. 

When she looks back, Magda has a wicked grin.

"Oh no. No. I'm not going down the slide," they'll definitely get stuck. 

"We're not going down the slide you dummy-" she grabs Pernille by the arm and drags her a few steps, before pointing upwards, "we're doing the monkey bars!" 

Pernille considers it, while Magda is already leaving her bag down and rubbing her hands together in preparation. Bright blue circular rings in a straight line, about half a foot apart. It's not too high, and there's soft rubber surface underneath, a fall wouldn't do any damage to their rehab progress. 

"Do you mean go from one side to the other?" that seems rather easy. Hardly worth their effort. 

"Nope, we're playing the hang challenge. See who can hold themselves up the longest," Pernille thinks she's a little bit cocky as she says it, clearly expecting a victory. 

"You're on," she slaps her own hands together and stretches both rotator cuffs. 

Every competition between them is serious, the bragging rights are crucial. They're both terrible winners and terrible losers, it's an insufferable combination. 

Pernille lifts both arms upward and bends her knees ready to jump up and begin on Magda's signal. 

Just two rings away, Magda takes her own position, eyes skyward, crouched and ready. 

They're close enough that when Magda throws a final glance at Pernille, she can see the mischief in her eyes. 

"Loser buys dinner! GO!" 

Pernille almost doesn't jump on time, surprised by the last-minute bet. Well, now she has to win. 

Once Pernille finds a grip she's happy with, she stiffens her body and tries to stay as still as possible. Eyes closed, she's mentally strategizing the best technique to win this. 

It takes about a minute before Magda starts talking trash. 

"How ya doing over there P?" 

"Super."

"Eyes closed, struggling already?" 

She opens them to throw an unimpressed look. 

"Just imagining the expensive dinner you're going to buy me. Haven't had lobster in a while." 

"I was thinking more along the lines of a 5-course meal, gotta make it hurt."

"Like your arms are hurting right now?" she can see the shake creeping in. 

She keeps the strain from her voice as she says it, but they've been hanging a good two minutes now, the burn is building fast. 

Magda keeps her face stoic, but Pernille notices her trying to fix her grip. She knows Magda is stronger. But her additional muscle also means she's heavier, therefore evening out the competition. 

One of Magda's hands slip off, she nearly drops with it. 

"Leaving so soon?" 

Through gritted teeth, Magda gets fingertips back around the ring and uses sheer strength to do a full pull up, readjusting her grip in the process. 

Once she settles, she somehow finds the energy to offer her most condescending wink. Cocky. 

Pernille can't hold it much longer. Her own arms are trembling, and Magda seems to have recovered well. She won't outlast her. 

There's only one thing left to do... 

She uses the last of her strength to lift her legs up in front, just enough to reach out her toes and push Magda's hip. 

Right as she makes contact, her own grip completely gives out, sending her falling, but not before she'd done enough damage. 

"HEY-" is all Magda gets out, before she's falling in sync with Pernille, both hitting the ground. 

They lose balance as they land, ending up on hands and knees. 

"I won!" Pernille knows she probably didn't, better to claim it anyway.

She lifts her head to hear the biggest scoff from Magda, meeting her eyes with a guilty smile. 

Magda looks at her for a calm second before pouncing. 

She easily rolls Pernille onto her back, sitting on her stomach and pinning her hands on the ground above her head. It's threatening, but Pernille is laughing hard now, she knows how much Magda hates losing, especially if it was unfair. 

"YOU CHEATED!" she's leaning in very close like she's searching Pernille's face for a hint of a confession. 

"Nope." Pernille is laughing hard still, shaking her head and trying to scramble out from under Magda's weight.

"You did! Admit it!" 

"Make me." 

She shouldn't have said it. For a moment, Magda hesitates. They're so close that Pernille thinks she sees her pupils dilate ever so slightly, but before she can be sure, Magda changes assault tactic. 

Tickles. 

Merciless. 

Pernille does everything she can to dislodge her, thrashing limbs and trying to lift her back off the ground. Magda keeps going until Pernille eventually taps out, begging her to stop in between fits of laughter.

Leaning right into her face, with both hands still pressed into the ticklish sides of her neck as a threat of further action, Magda asks again. 

"So Pernille... Did you cheat?" 

Pernille considers denying it but thinks better of it when Magda flexes her fingers as a reminder, causing another tickle.

"I did," she closes her eyes and she murmurs it. 

But that's not good enough for Magda.

"Sorry, what was that? I didn't hear you."

God, she can be such a little shit when she wins. 

"I cheated. You win. Happy?" 

"Very," she climbs to her feet, offering a hand to pull Pernille up too. 

She rolls her eyes, what great sportsmanship. 

They take a few minutes to recover on the swings, lazily drifting side by side. 

Magda mentions something that's been on her mind. 

"Do you think Frido has been acting weird lately?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Like never wanting to hang out with us. I invited her today, and she wanted to know who else was going. When I said just me and you, she said she was busy. I don't know she's just been acting strange."

Pernille nods, she's noticed that too. 

"The same thing happened when I invited her to dinner last week."

"But like she's fine when it's just me and her, it's only when it's the three of us she seems to always have an excuse." 

"She's the same at training, like we hang out fine alone, and she'll visit the apartment and hang out when you're not there. It's strange." 

"Yet she always talks about you. Asking how you are, what we got up to. I don't get it." 

Pernille shakes her head, she can't make sense of it either. They make a plan to trick Frido into coming out to dinner with them next week. 

The next two hours of the trail are wildly uneventful. They let the silences creep in, happy just take in nature and listen to the methodical crunch of gravel under trainers.

They're about an hour from home when the wind picks up and Pernille notices it get distinctly darker. The trees are bare in this part of the forest, looking up she can clearly see the grey clouds rolling in. 

"Magda I think it going to rain." 

No sooner has she it said than the first drops begin.

It's a downpour within seconds.

They try to stand under a tree, but it provides no shelter.

"Quick, back this way, there was a hut," Magda turns her around and they start jogging. 

It's torrential. Looking at Magda a few feet in front of her, Pernille can hardly make out her face through the white sheets of rain being driven by the wind. 

By the time they reach the hut about 3 minutes later, they're both soaked. 

It's a wooden cabin sort of a structure, presumably for the park rangers during peak season. It's clearly abandoned right now. They chance trying the door but it's locked.

"Fuck," Magda tries to wiggle it harder but it's no use. 

As if it was even possible, the rain intensifies. Desperate to find some type of shelter, they jog around the back and finally catch some luck. 

Between two windows, there's the tiniest little back door you could imagine. It's in further than the windows, and therefore sheltered by a small patch of the roof overhead.

Without hesitating, they both squeeze in. Realistically there's probably only room for one person, but they make it work. Pernille looks down and there's barely space for both sets of trainers on the dry part of the floor, nevermind room for their standing bodies.

Once the initial shock has worn off, Pernille starts to get her bearings. 

Standing toe to toe with Magda, they're both breathing hard. It's so cramped she can feel Magda's every breath hitting her cheek. When she finally looks at her face, she's a mess. Mouth opened slightly trying to catch her breath, eyes wide, hair plastered to her scalp, water still running down her entire face. She looks wild. And pretty. But mostly wild. 

Pernille is sure she probably looks the same. 

Turing her head away to look out at the forest, the rain continues to lash down. 

Pulling her arm out from where it's touching Magda, she catches the front of her tee-shirt and squeezes the water out of it. 

Once she's done, Magda leans out passed her to do the same. 

What she wasn't anticipating, was Magda then pulling the hem of her tee-shirt up, drying the water off her face and giving Pernille a full view of her abs. 

She's never seen them this close before. Last night's thoughts reappear. Definitely sculpted. 

She didn't mean to stare. But when Magda drops her tee-shirt again, and Pernille returns her attention to her face, Magda's eyes are waiting. She thinks she sees the faintest eyebrow raise. 

A particularly strong gust of wind redirects some rain in towards them, causing them both to flinch closer.

Once it's passed, Pernille opens her eye to find Magda's arms around her waist. She has Pernille's head ducked against her chest, using her back to shield her and take the brunt of it. 

When Pernille moves her head back enough to look at her face, she holds her breath as Magda reaches a hand up to gently brush some stray hair out of her eyes and tucks them behind her ear. 

They're only inches apart. 

As if the touch wasn't enough, the intense eye contact she holds while doing it causes absolute chaos in Pernille's stomach. 

It's like butterflies on cocaine.

Unable to deal with the sensation, she shudders. Add that to the cold rain starting to seep into her skin and making her teeth chatter. 

It breaks Magda's focus from her eyes, and she turns Pernille so she's hugging her from behind. Arms tightly across her torso, she rests her chin into Pernille's neck. 

"I know I'm freezing too but maybe the body heat will help." 

Oh, it does. Now she feels like her body is on fire. 

What the fuck is wrong with her. 

Maybe she's sick? The racing of her heart and bipolar temperature aren't a great sign. 

She mentally sighs. 

Deep down she knows it's Magda. She can't deny that anymore. It's always been different with her.

But she needs to figure out what exactly that means. Right now, inches apart, surely isn't the time to do some soul searching.

Instead, she relaxes into Magda's embrace. She's warm. Might as well make the most of the situation. They stay like that for about a half-hour, talking aimlessly until the rain finally clears.

With dusk starting to fall and both still freezing, they pick up the pace and make it back to the car just as it gets dark. 

Once they both collapse in, exhausted after their ordeal, it's silent for a moment. They take one look at each other and laugh. 

What a day. 

They crank up the heat immediately, both sighing into the heavenly sensation. 

The drive home is an odd change of pace.

It's started raining again, but this time, from the warmth of the car, the sound is comforting. Paired with the soft jazz music from the radio, it's peaceful. 

With darkness hiding all the scenery, Pernille decides to focus on Magda instead.

In keeping with the atmosphere, they speak softly now. 

Pernille sits with her temple leaning against the headrest, watching Magda talk. 

Even with just the glow of the dashboard, she's still so pretty. 

Focusing on the road, she doesn't notice Pernille is watching her. 

She's telling a story. Something about her schooldays in Stockholm.

She's laughing at some parts, and animated at others. She even does voices for a couple of the more annoying teachers.

She's uninhibited as she talks. So comfortable. So completely herself.

It's mesmerising. 

Caught off guard staring, Pernille's heart flutters when Magda delivers the punchline and throws a blinding smile her way. 

It drops a little when she realizes Pernille has been staring, but looking back at the road, she has that small smile that always appears when she's shy. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she throws a glance back at Pernille to check if she's still staring. 

Which she is. Shit, she should probably stop that.

Pernille's apartment is closer, so they take showers there and order takeout for dinner. 

This time Pernille chooses some sweatpants and her cosiest Denmark national team hoodie for Magda to borrow. Her face, when she appears in the kitchen, is just as priceless as last time. 

They're cuddled on the couch, legs tangled, watching TV after dinner. Magda, apparently feeling nostalgic today, is telling her about the first time she met Frido, and what a disaster it was. She's smiling the entire way through it, even though the tiredness is starting to kick in. 

Her voice gets slow, words becoming dragged out, but she's determined to get to the end of it. 

Pernille is smiling along, hanging on every word. Magda alternates between resting her head on the back of the couch in exhaustion, and lolling it towards Pernille to smile at her and gauge her reaction during the good parts of the story. 

At one point, Magda's head rolls over onto her shoulder, and the sleepy way her eyes trail across Pernille's face makes heat rise to her cheeks. 

There's a moment where everything stands still. 

Magda's still lazily staring at her with that smile. 

Her skin burns in the three places their legs are touching. 

The effortless beauty of Magda in this low light. 

Her heart starts to speed up as she feels the unmistakable pull. 

It feels like she has no control over her body. Eyes glued to Magda's lips, she leans in the smallest fraction...

Before catching herself. 

What the actual fuck.

She coughs and sits up straight, chancing a look at Magda. She's slowly blinking, looking at the TV. She doesn't think she noticed. 

When Magda heads home a few minutes later, Pernille's pulse hasn't stopped racing. 

One thought repeats on loop in her head. 

She doesn't know what to feel. She doesn't know what to think. She doesn't know what it means.

But what she does know is...

She wanted to kiss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do we think? I know the pace really kicked up for this one, but I feel like it was such a long time coming it kinda has to be a lively revelation. But don't worry y'all, the slow burn is still alive. After all, just because Pernille feels something... doesn't mean she's going to do anything about it yet ;) Let the pining begin :)
> 
> Lemme know! x


	8. When The Blind Eye Finally Chooses To See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's brighten your Monday, shall we? :)
> 
> Took longer than usual, my bad, busy week! But I hope it was worth the wait!
> 
> 5,000 people have read this story now. That's about 4,999 more than I ever thought would, so as always thanks to everyone for reading, commenting, and kudosing(?)
> 
> Reminder: now on tumblr as @cupidwriter
> 
> Let's hear what Magda has to say :)

She gives it a name.

The feelings. The butterflies. The constant thoughts. There's no denying it. 

It's a crush. 

Plain and simple. 

She's fought the idea for a while now, but Magda knows she might as well call a spade a spade.

She likes Pernille.

There she said it. 

But the real question is, could you blame her? 

Pernille makes it too easy. Her adorable face. The shine in her eyes. That girl next door friendliness. Her brilliance on the pitch. The clumsiness that somehow makes her endearing. 

Magda likes Pernille.

And she really wishes she didn't. 

She knows she's straight. She knows she's her best friend. But tell that to her hammering heart every time Pernille smiles at her. 

Fuck. 

She supposes there's some comfort to be taken in the fact that she's not the first girl to fall in love with her best friend. It's the age-old tale. She's heard enough heartbreaking stories to know it never ends well. 

But somehow, in this scenario, the poison is also the cure. 

Pernille is straight. 

It's a blessing and a curse. 

Because nothing could ever happen. It's impossible. 

So as bleak as it sounds, she takes comfort in that. She clings to it. The knowledge that there is absolutely no hope, is enough.

A hopeless cause has a way of giving you confidence.

The lowering of expectations allows her to cope. 

She has nothing to lose.

It's over before it ever began. You can't be disappointed if you never had hope in the first place. 

Now she just has to survive. 

Endure it, until it goes away.

Having feelings for someone never hurt anybody. It's telling people about those feelings that invites the heartbreak. 

So Magda does what she does best, she plays the role of best friend. That's the most she'll ever be to Pernille, so she might as well pour her heart into that. It's not the same, but for now, it's enough. 

It has to be.

Things would be a hell of a lot easier if she didn't see her every day. But during recovery, distance isn't an option. So instead, she has to cling to normal. 

Normal is what they've had before. And Magda cherishes what they have. Best friends. A closeness. They're content. She doesn't want to make things weird between them. 

Normal is fine. 

A crush can't jeopardise normal. 

It's not like she's feeling any different than she has been. In reality, nothing has changed. She still feels the same way about Pernille. She just decided to give it a name. The implications of that name aren't lost on her. 

A crush. 

God it's a bit damning, isn't it? 

It makes it all a little too real, and that little bit harder to keep things the same. 

But nevertheless, Magda is resolute. 

The only problem is, normal is now a thing she is chasing. 

She has to consciously try. 

Pernille makes it so fucking difficult. 

It doesn't take Magda long to realize their 'normal' is far different from everyone else's. 

Their normal is holding hands at a football match because it's cold. 

Their normal is teasing each other just to sneak in compliments. 

Their normal is going out for fancy dinners and accidentally finding a hand placed on Pernille's back. 

Their normal is cuddling. It's pointless conversations just because. It's smiles that are too wide and looks that linger just a little too long. 

Magda learns to live with it.

It's not like she can avoid her. Worse again, it's not like she even wants to. 

The best option she can think of is to let it all happen, and just keep her intentions pure.

She just continues to be herself, says the first thing that comes to mind, and behaves as she usually would. She never holds anything back. Not her words. Not her touch. Nothing. 

She doesn't necessarily try to not make anything happen, she just resigns herself to the fact that it won't and unleashes the confidence that hopelessness gives her. 

She acts naturally. 

It's the only way to stay sane. 

To keep herself in check. 

To build up a tolerance.

To resist.

It lasts about a week. 

The day in the woods almost ruined her. 

It started with the stupid bet. The monkey bars. Her own fault really. 

She hadn't anticipated Pernille cheating. Knowing how competitive Magda is, Pernille blatantly ignored it in order to get a reaction. 

It worked. 

It was pure instinct for Magda to pin her and try to intimidate her way to an apology. She was right there, on the ground, so delighted that she'd outsmarted her. 

It was just natural to climb on top of Pernille. Especially when Magda was so blinded in her outrage at the cheating, she didn't think twice about it. 

It was only when Pernille uttered the famous line "Make me," that a dark thought flashed through Magda's mind. 

Exactly the type of thought she's been running from.

And now all she wanted to do was run. In that moment, she wanted to be anywhere other than sitting on top of Pernille. It was suddenly a compromising position. But she knew she was trapped. Letting it go and pulling back would've been so uncharacteristic of her, it would have raised more suspicion. That would ruin the carefully crafted illusion of normal she's been building.

So she panicked and tickled her. Oldest trick in the book. 

The most important thing to her in all of this is preserving their friendship. 

So she stays in character and does what a best friend would do. 

Which is easier said than done. Who could've predicted the greatest rainstorm in history?

Their shelter situation was... Not ideal. 

The proximity was excruciating. They basically stood with their entire bodies pressed together. She could feel the firmness of every one of Pernille's muscles shuddering against her. Magda was glad she too was shivering, at least it kept the blush down. 

Pernille looked gorgeous. The way her skin glistened under the raindrops. The intoxicating depth of her blue eyes in the dim light. Even the way her soft breaths hit Magda's cheek. 

It was unbearable. 

And just as Magda's was trying her hardest to focus all her energy on pure thoughts and everything other than the crush, Pernille threw a spanner in the works. 

It's one thing to believe someone has absolutely no romantic interest in you. It's another thing to see them staring at your abs and try to convince yourself you didn't. 

She definitely was. For about fives seconds longer than a glance.

Magda really didn't know how to respond to that. Nor if it even meant enough to warrant a response. Maybe she was just reading into it. After all, they were in a cramped space, it's not like there's anywhere else to look other than at each other. 

Having managed to strangle the ideas about the crush from her mind, she again acted on genuine instinct to shelter Pernille from the rogue gusts of rain. 

It's like muscle memory. She couldn't control it.

It was the tension when she pulled back that almost broke her. 

There was Pernille, inches away, watching her with a wild intensity. 

She was clouding Magda's senses. 

With one hand burning its way into the dip of her waist, Magda didn't even notice her other hand come up to gently brush the wet strands off Pernille's forehead. 

The outside world faded fast.

Rationale slowly started to dissolve. 

Her gaze was magnetic. Magda physically couldn't look away. 

Just as her eyes dropped to Pernille's lips, the movement of her teeth chattering broke Magda's concentration. 

The second she registered the unnatural quiver of her lips, the moment was shattered. 

Her brain caught up in a jolt. 

She's shivering because she's cold. You got soaked in a forest. You're supposed to be keeping the crush at bay, remember?

A terrifying realisation. Magda had so easily forgotten everything. 

Weeks building up a tolerance, and within seconds she was willing to risk it all.

This was dangerous. 

The impulse was so strong, Magda scrambled to come up with an out. 

With the tension growing every second, she frantically evaluated her options. 

Extract herself from the situation and run straight into the rain? Now that'd cause a scene. 

Instead, she pulled inspiration from an unlikely source. The boxing classes she took in the offseason to stay in shape. One lesson, in particular, sprang to mind. 

'When stuck in close proximity danger, clinch.'

So that's what she did. 

She latched onto Pernille from behind and squeezed her as close as she could. 

To the untrained eye watching, it looks like a hug, not a tactical manoeuvre to prevent damage. 

Boxers do it not to get hurt. Magda had the same reason. 

Under the excuse of sharing body heat, Magda held on for dear life, because she knew that if she let go, she couldn't trust herself not to do something stupid.

Like acting on her crush. Because now that would be stupid. 

Lying awake in bed that night, in a borrowed Denmark hoodie that smells like a certain someone, Magda does a terrible thing. 

She lets herself imagine.

What if...? 

The floodgates are blown wide open. 

Every thought is Pernille. 

The fantasising is so vivid. 

Being the reason she smiles. Holding hands without an excuse. Borrowing each other's clothes. Marvelling at her beauty. Staring unabashedly. Always having her attention. Making her laugh. Teasing when she's clumsy. Listening to her talk. Spending every spare moment together. 

Most importantly, kissing her. 

Magda wants it all. 

Even just the thought causes her heart to flutter. 

The more she indulges herself, creating elaborate scenarios in which they're happy together, the more her pulse quickens.

She even finds herself smiling in the darkness. 

God, she's well and truly fucked. 

But in allowing herself to imagine a world where she confesses her crush and they're happy together, the logical side of her brain comes knocking as always. 

The consequences. 

There's too much risk. 

She can't gamble with what she already has. 

She doesn't lie to herself. She doesn't sugarcoat it. She just thinks through the facts. 

As she processes reality, the smile slips off her face. 

It's replaced with icy dread lodging into her stomach. 

This doesn't end well for her. 

Pernille is a superstar. At national team level, she's already gaining international recognition. Bursting onto the scene and becoming the star before Magda has even gotten a call up to the Swedish first team. She's miles ahead in terms of experience. 

Now if she's that important at national level, imagine her influence at Linköping. She's established, easily their most important player. The goal scorer. The match-winner. The poster girl. Magda isn't even near that level. 

So now imagine a scenario where Magda acts on her crush, and Pernille takes it badly. 

There's a fallout. 

It ruins their friendship and damages the team dynamic. 

Guess who'll get transferred? 

It won't be Pernille. 

Magda will be the weird one who couldn't keep it professional and made her teammates uncomfortable. 

That's not a reputation she wants.

She really cares about Pernille. She loves being her best friend. She would be devastated if anything ever changed that. 

So where does she go from here? 

She tried pretending the crush didn't exist, and that didn't work. She can't hang out with her less and hope it goes away. They're teammates, she's contractually obliged to spend time with her.

She can't win. 

That's all assuming Pernille is straight. 

Which she is... Magda thinks.

Yet sometimes, a small part of her can't help but wonder.

After the moment today with the almost kiss in the rain, Magda has to admit, she isn't so sure. The way Pernille was looking at her. Friends don't look at friends like that.

But of course, that's purely speculation. It could well all be in her head. What if she's just seeing what she wants to see? 

Maybe it's just wishful thinking. 

She's not about to risk a friendship on just one look. 

She can't even blame Pernille for making it hard.

She doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't know the effect she's having. Pernille is just that friendly to the point of flirty type. It's killing Magda and she can't even be mad about it. Pernille is accidentally leading her on. She has to be. Magda needs to just stop reading into little things and putting words in her mouth.

Straight. Until indicated otherwise. 

So she suppresses her emotions and gets on with it. 

It gets a bit easier once they're back on the pitch. Even just having the sessions outdoors in plenty of space helps. They're still training alone, but they're no longer in each other's immediate proximity. 

The first week is just basic agility and running exercises. 

Happy to be back on the field, the change of scenery is enough to keep them both somewhat distracted. Sure she's constantly interacting with her and talking nonstop all day, but at least there's more activity involved. It's more strenuous, so it requires more concentration. 

Of course, there's always moments of weakness. 

Like when Pernille shares her bottle of water with Magda. She takes it, drinks, and tries to stop thinking about how her lips are touching something Pernille's just touched. 

It's the stupid things she dwells on. 

Halfway through the recovery now, they still aren't allowed sprint. That doesn't stop the competition creeping into how quickly they can complete drills. Just as things get heated, Magda decides to stir the pot. Pernille had a chance to send this one to a tiebreaker. It gets physical when Magda flinches enough to fake action, causing Pernille to jump forward and get penalised for a false start by their conditioning coach. 

He even deducts a point while she tries to protest her innocence. 

Magda is bent at the waist laughing. Using Pernille's eagerness against her, you can't beat it. 

She looks positively outraged, slapping her hands against her legs in a tantrum. 

"This is your fault!" 

Magda controls her expression, looking perplexed as to how she could be in the wrong. 

"I don't know what you mean, I'm not the one who jumped the gun." 

Pernille's eyes narrow, her jaw-dropping at the betrayal. 

"You're cheating."

"Last I checked, I was winning. You should try it sometime," a low blow, Magda's won the last couple of rounds, a touchy subject. 

Magda shrugs and pretends to walk off, arms raised in victory. 

The second her back is turned, Pernille is on it. She hooks her legs around Magda's torso, wraps one arm around her neck, and uses her free hand to mess up Magda's hair. 

"You're. Such. A. Cheater," she accuses through gritted teeth. 

Magda tries her best to dislodge her, spinning at speed and leaning side to side, but Pernille is glued on. 

She pulls the hair tie off Magda's ponytail and ruffles the hair into Magda's face until it's an absolute mess. 

When she's happy it looks like a bird's nest, she hops off and quickly scampers out of Magda's reach, laughing heartily at her mischief. 

If Magda's wasn't so pissed off about trying to smooth out her hair, she would dwell on the feeling of having Pernille embrace her so tightly. 

When she finally gets her hair back under control, she reaches an exasperated hand out asking for the hair tie back. 

"C'mon give it back-" Pernille looks like she's actually about to until Magda couldn't help herself and had to be a smug little shit. 

"Stop being such a sore loser," there it is, the sly dig. 

A poor decision. 

Pernille stops a couple of steps away, looks her dead in the eye, brings both hands up in front of her, and stretches the hair tie until it snaps, before beaming a poisonous smile into Magda's face. 

Remorseless. 

Magda stares on in disbelief.

"Did you just...? " 

"You deserved it," a shrug of shoulders, as if some great justice had just been served. 

Did she seriously... Snap Magda's favourite hair tie... Because she lost a drill?

There are no limits to her pettiness. 

God, she can be so stubborn sometimes.

Is it bad that Magda almost found that attractive?

It's not often she sees her that annoyed. 

When Magda has to finish training with her hair down, the off-handed comment from Pernille that she "looks good" is enough to dissolve any anger she was harbouring about the previous incident. 

As far as the crush is concerned, Pernille can apparently do no wrong. Nothing is unforgivable when she's smiling at her like that.

It's worse than Magda thought.

After much begging, Frido reluctantly agrees to join them for lunch on their day off. 

Magda's not sure why they agreed to having to pay for hers too as 'compensation', but regardless, it gets them all together and that's the main thing.

It's a trendy brunch cafe, with a modern black and white theme. 

Frido slides into one side of the booth, pointedly leaving her handbag on the empty seat, forcing Magda to slide in with Pernille the opposite side.

Surprisingly, things are normal. 

It's just like old times, the three of them easily slipping into their usual conversations. Magda supposes she shouldn't have expected anything less. They've both been keeping in close touch with Frido, just never at the same time. 

When the waitress offers menus, Magda can feel Frido's eyes watching when she only takes one and leans into Pernille's space so they can look at it together. They always share menus, and they always consult each other for opinions before ordering. It's become a habit. She resists the temptation to change their routine now that Frido is watching. 

She doesn't know when she became so self-conscious of what she considers their 'normal'. 

Frido makes easy company. With how close they all are, it's just effortless to swerve between topics.

But something has changed. 

Magda notices a shift in dynamic. Unlike a couple of months before the injuries, when the three of them would each tell their own stories, there's a new pattern emerging.

As you'd expect, Frido talks about things that happened in her life recently. 

But most of the stories Magda and Pernille tell involve each other. It's a case of talking about what happened to 'them'. They share the storytelling, adding details or little corrections as each other speaks. 

Magda supposes she shouldn't be shocked. All of their time is spent together, both at training and outside of it. If it happened to one of them, chances are it happened to both. 

Which is further proof of just how entangled their lives have become. 

And further proof of how big a task it is to bury a crush all day every day. 

The conversation becomes scattered as they eat.

As always, Magda and Pernille end up splitting some of their food. It's just so second nature at this point, Magda has halved her sandwich and placed it onto to Pernille's plate before she even notices Frido staring. 

"You never share your food," Frido is looking at her like she's an alien. 

She freezes for a moment, feeling like she was just caught doing something she shouldn't. 

It's a new thing. She knows Pernille is the only one she makes an exception for. But afraid of being accused of giving her special treatment, and potentially revealing the crush, she scrambles. 

"Uh, yeah I've gotten better. Do you want some too?" 

She offers the plate towards Frido. 

Frido pointedly looks down at it, and back at Magda with a raised eyebrow. 

When Magda follows her eyes she realizes there's only a half left. And that she just offered it away. What would she have left to eat then? God, she looks so stupid. 

"I'm good. Thanks." It's deadpan. She's scowling slightly in confusion, entirely baffled by Magda's behaviour. 

Pernille's giggle breaks the moment, as she transfers half of her pasta onto Magda's plate.

Things get animated when they tell the story about the hair tie. Both wanting validation that they were right. They argue over minor details, such as the blatant cheating and whatnot. 

They're fighting to talk over each other and give their own, albeit severely conflicting, versions of events. Pernille is grabbing Magda's arm and leaning in front of her, trying to plead her case to Frido. 

It's getting too loud and they're drawing attention to themselves, so instead of causing a scene, Magda sits back, throws her arm along the back of the booth behind Pernille, and resigns herself to letting her talk. 

She still throws in quiet disagreements, shaking her head. 

"Not true." 

"Didn't happen." 

"Liar."

They earn her more grappling from Pernille, shoving her arms and trying to cover her mouth as she continues, fully focused on winning Frido over. 

They decide to order coffee while they're at it. Flagging down the waitress, Magda orders her own and Pernille's, before turning to Frido and asking what she wants. 

Frido looks so offended. 

"What, you don't know my order anymore?" 

Magda is at a loss. She definitely knew it a couple of months ago, but she can't for the life of remember it now. 

The waitress just watches on, caught in no man's land. 

Magda shakes her head.

"Pfft. Right, I see how it is." 

"Nooo, but isn't yours super complicated?" 

Frido turns smiling at the waitress. 

"A flat white please," finishing with a glare at Magda. 

"I'm sorry!" 

"You sure move on fast," she mutters it mostly to herself, but both Magda and Pernille catch it and share a look. 

This is what they talked about. How she's been acting weird around them. It definitely seems like jealousy. Yet she's always the one encouraging them to spend time together without her. 

If Magda had a crown for every time she heard "You should go see Pernille", along with restaurant recommendations and suggestions for what they should do on days off, she'd be rich 

Frido's fine for the rest of lunch. Well, mostly fine. Magda catches her watching them a little too closely sometimes. The way she looks back and forth between them like she's trying to calculate something unnerves Magda a little but she says nothing. 

Oh, there was also the picture incident. 

Magda is talking about a story her mom told her, recalling how her dad knocked a can of paint all over the carpet yesterday. It's Pernille first time hearing it, and she's hanging on every word. 

She seems really invested, fully turned towards Magda and offering all of her attention. She's become close to Magda's dad through all those weekly phone calls.

Obviously, because she's far more interested than Frido, Magda ends up mostly looking at Pernille as she recounts it. She's just getting to the good part when a flash breaks her concentration.

Both their heads snap towards the source. 

Frido mouths 'shit', guiltily lowering her phone and meeting their eyes as Magda speaks. 

"Did you just take a picture of us?" 

"What? No. Of course not. I was taking a picture of the coffee."

There are only empty coffee mugs on the table.

Lies. 

They must not look convinced, because she continues on with a suggestion. 

"Do you want me to take a picture of you? You should've just asked. Ok squeeze in kids," she says it all so fast. 

Pernille doesn't hesitate, leaning her head into Magda's. They throw beaming smiles at the camera. 

The flash goes off again. 

Frido examines it. 

"Aw, how cute," she turns the phone towards them. 

Magda would have to agree. 

Cute indeed.

They drop Frido home after that, she forcefully insists on not joining them at the park. 

It's been a tiring week back on the pitch, so they opt just to stroll through Linköping's Trädgårdsförening for the sunny afternoon. 

It's a massive park with pristine landscaping. There are gorgeous gazebos and artistic benches scattered amongst the ponds and intricate flower beds. Magda's favourite part is the luscious pink cherry blossom trees swaying gently overhead. 

There's plenty of room. Lots of patches of grass to sit on. Perfect for people-watching. They grab a couple of scoops of ice cream each on their way in. 

The girls wander down the meandering paths, admiring art installations and detailed fountains. 

Eventually, Pernille picks a nice bench she's happy with. It's in a quieter part of the park, but still had a good view of people on the grassy hill just across the big pond. 

In another life, this would be a date. 

It's all Magda can think about now that Frido has left them alone. 

She knows they're here as friends. But that doesn't stop her from imagining what they could be. 

She genuinely believes they'd be great together. They already are. 

But she knows a relationship with Pernille would be infinitely better than a friendship. 

Yet all she can do is make the most of what she has, and enjoy being in her presence. 

She's learning to appreciate the little things. 

Like the way Pernille is sitting so close their thighs and shoulders are touching, despite all the space available. 

Or her side profile as she scans the park around her, bright eyes wide and amazed by the beauty hidden in this part of the city.

Or even the perpetual smile. Even now. Sitting quietly eating their ice cream, she still had a pleasant smile on her face for absolutely no reason. 

It's still so captivating to Magda just how much Pernille smiles. Every time you speak to her or look her way, she smiles before she even processes what you have to say. 

It's refreshing. 

And makes her even more irresistible. 

So Magda focuses on her ice cream and thinks pure thoughts. 

"What one did you get again? " Pernille asks around her spoonful of pink strawberry flavour ice cream. 

"Vanilla." 

"Boring."

"It's the best one."

"You didn't even get sprinkles," she pouts at that, for some inexplicable reason. 

Magda has to laugh. 

"I forgot." 

"Here try mine," she scoops up a sprinkles heavy piece and holds the spoon in front of Magda's mouth. 

Magda doesn't know how to react. 

This seems a bit... intimate. 

Feeding each other ice cream? Really?

Pernille frowns at her hesitation. She waves it in front of her mouth until eventually Magda gives in and closes her lips around the spoon while Pernille slowly pulls it back. 

She can feel Pernille's eyes burning into her face, but Magda keeps her focus on the pond in the distance and doesn't dare to look at her. 

She can feel the tension without even needing to see it. 

Jesus, it's like Pernille's doing it on purpose. 

She keeps finding ways to get them close. 

"Yeah you're right, that is good. Summery," Magda glances at Pernille to find her still staring, before apparently realising and quickly looking away. 

"Mmhmm, told ya," in broad daylight, Magda can see she's definitely blushing. 

There it is again. The moments that make her question. 

Surely she can't be the only one feeling the tension. She's aware her judgement is undoubtedly clouded by her attraction, but she can't be misreading the chemistry this badly. 

She's not insane. 

This can't keep happening. 

Her heart won't survive if she starts getting her hopes up. 

That night, alone with her thoughts once again, she finally caves. 

She has to know. 

"Frido, can I ask you a question," she says it quietly. Nervous before she even begins. 

These next five minutes are important. 

Frido places her book down on the couch and gives Magda her full attention. 

"You just did, but I'm nice so I'll allow you to ask me another one."

"Uh.." Magda is staring at her hands, nervously fidgeting. 

"Spit it out Mags. " 

She needs a second opinion. She has to know she's not imagining it. 

"Do you think Pernille likes me?" 

She starts blushing the second she says it. 

Frido looks surprised at the question.

She's careful as she answers. 

"Of course she likes you, you're best friends." 

That's not what she meant and Frido knows it. She clarifies anyway. 

"No, do you think she 'likes me' likes me," she emphasises the difference. 

Frido keeps her face blank, nodding solemnly that she understands. 

"Do you like her?" 

Magda starts blushing again. 

"That wasn't the question." 

"No, I just wanted to see you blush," the wink tells Magda that Frido knew the answer before she even asked. 

Fuck, so that means she's been too obvious about the crush. 

"Frido I'm serious-" 

"I don't know."

"What?"

"I don't know if she likes you. She hasn't said anything, if that's what you're asking."

Disappointment seeps into Magda's chest. 

No matter how much she promised herself she wouldn't get her hopes up, she'd gone ahead and done it anyway. 

She's staring at the carpet processing this defeat. 

"Do you think she likes you?" her voice is soft. She's aware it's probably a sensitive subject. 

"I don't know. There's always these moments between us that really make me wonder, then I'll remember she's straight-" 

"Or so she says," Frido interjects but Magda barely registers it and keeps going. 

"-and then I hate myself for getting my hopes up and for being a creep for thinking about her like that and-" 

"Stop. Your overthinking is hurting me from here. Listen. I just need you to answer one question, ok? Close your eyes. Clear your mind. Deep breath. Yes or no answer, give me your first instinct, got it?" 

Desperate for some sort of guidance, Magda does as she's told. Eyes closed, she nods that she's ready. 

"Do you think she likes you?"

"I think so... " 

"Yes or no." 

"...Yes." 

And that terrifies her. 

So the answer's been there all along. 

She just needed Frido to coax her into admitting it. 

She opens her eyes to find Frido grinning at her. 

"See that wasn't so hard." 

"I'm still not sure though... Do you think she does?" 

Frido purses her lips and shakes her head. 

"It's not my place to say M." 

Magda knows she's right. 

"I just don't want to ruin our friendship if I'm reading this all wrong."

Frido nods at the reasoning, she understands the consequences of something like this. 

There's so much to lose.

She pulls out her phone and Magda's dings a second later. 

"I know I told you she hasn't said anything... But... I don't know if she needs to... " 

She points at Magda's phone, gives her a rub on the back, and heads to her room without further explanation. 

Intrigued, Magda unlocks her phone to find the message. 

It's a picture. 

From the cafe today. 

Magda is facing Pernille while talking.

But it's Pernille's face that catches her attention. 

The way she's looking at Magda. With what could only be described as adoration. 

Eyes soft and shining, smile so wide her cheeks are squashed. 

She's looking at her like she's the best thing in the world. 

Magda's heart begins to hammer yet again. 

The disappointment is melted by the bubbling excitement. 

It's one thing when she sees the look in person, she normally downplays it and looks away in fear of giving away the crush. 

It's another thing to have it captured.

The camera doesn't lie. 

Frido sent a single question with it. 

"What does that look like to you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is either brilliant or bullshit :)
> 
> I'm too sleep deprived to tell the difference at this point.
> 
> Thanks for your patience and sticking with me. I really tried to pour depth and complexity into this chapter, along with the fluff/softness. I hope you all like how it came out :)
> 
> Lemme know! xx
> 
> P.S.I'll proofread a few more times after posting, sorry if there's mistakes!


	9. I've Learned In Love We Don't Decide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND COMMENTS AS ALWAYS ON CH8 :)
> 
> Sorry this took so long life was unreasonably busy.
> 
> On tumblr as @cupidwriter if you wanna chat all things Hardersson
> 
> I don't have time to type a thoughtful A/N, you've waited long enough I'll just post this update now!

She stares at the wall for a while.

And when she finally goes to bed, she stares at the ceiling.

Her heart hasn't stopped pounding.

Panic.

It's gripping her entire body.

Wide-eyed well after midnight, Pernille tries to process.

She wanted to kiss Magda.

Well that's... New. 

While she lies still in the silence, her mind is chaos.

Soul searching is the only way to put it. She doesn't even know where to start. 

After about an hour passes, and she has gotten nowhere thinking in circles, she decides to work backwards. 

OK. 

She wanted to kiss Magda... which would suggest... she's attracted to her...? 

And Magda is a girl, let's not forget that crucial detail.

So what does all that mean? 

She narrows it down further. 

One, she likes a girl. 

And two, that girl is Magda. 

She decides to tackle the first revelation. 

Pernille's always considered herself straight. 

She's never really known any different. She loved her boyfriend when they were together She's always found certain boys attractive. Sure she's sometimes thought particular girls she met were beautiful, but that was more an observation. 

Even growing up back home in Denmark, she'd never been exposed to anything other than straight relationships. But since the move to Sweden and playing football with more senior teammates, hearing about their girlfriends became commonplace. 

Pernille never thought much of it, if she's honest. People's sexuality was never a 'thing'. Her parents raised her to respect not judge, so she accepted everyone for who they are and went about her business. 

Which has worked fine... Up until now. 

Along comes Magda. 

With her beautiful eyes and raspy voice. 

Her ferocious protective instincts, and kindness beyond belief. 

Magda, where all of Pernille's problems start.

Lying awake, she decides to be brutally honest with herself. 

Magda was always different.

She can't deny that. 

The closeness. The smiles. The deeply caring for each other. A friendship like theirs was rare. 

Probably because it wasn't just a friendship. 

Well, in Pernille's case anyways.

God.

She should've seen the attraction sooner. 

The butterflies when Magda was close. The tension anytime their hands would touch. How she'd find herself making excuses to spend more time with her. Constantly being aware of just how pretty she is. The hammering heart whenever a smile was directed at her. The blush. 

It was relentless, and if she had felt this way about a boy, she would have undoubtedly recognised the crush within the day. 

But since it's Magda, her first instinct was denial.

Because, well, let's reiterate this, Pernille is straight. 

It's all she's ever known.

Straight girls don't develop feelings for other girls. 

That kinda violates the entry-level criteria for straightness.

So she ignored the confusing feelings and overlooked their meaning. 

Almost like it was somehow forbidden, she buried the thoughts and chalked months of attraction down to their close friendship. That was her excuse.

Every look. Every touch. Every thought. 

Friendship. 

It's almost pathetic.

She tries to pinpoint when exactly it changed, how far back these feelings started to surface. 

But the honest truth is that she can't. She can't remember a time when Magda's touch didn't cause her heart to race. She can't remember what it felt like to look at her and not think she was breathtakingly gorgeous. She can't remember when her every thought wasn't consumed by a blonde Swede with a competitive streak. 

She supposes it was the injuries that really ignited it. All that extra time spent together. All the suffering. The emotions. The vulnerability. 

Rehab breaks you. 

They got to know each other on an intimate level not many people reach. 

Rock bottom, with only each other to cope, certainly changed their relationship. They understood each other now. They helped each other rebuild. Everything became personal. The conversations, the interactions, everything existed inside their own little world.

Away from the eyes of the team and the coaches, there was a freedom about how they interacted when alone. It was uninhibited. 

The perfect environment for feelings to develop.

So she has apparently had these feelings for Magda for a while now. It was only when the overwhelming attraction and desire to kiss her blindsided Pernille on the couch earlier, that she discovered the true nature of what she's feeling. 

That's as close as an answer to 'when' that Pernille can produce. 

As the night drags on, the temperature drops. Pernille pulls the covers closer to her chin and half-heartedly closes her eyes. They're open again a moment later. 

She's not tired. She's never felt this awake. 

While the early hours of the morning creep past, she continues to stare at her dark ceiling and question the majority of her existence over the last few months. 

Interactions replay over and over. Every conversation. Every gesture. Every feeling. 

She knows the feelings are the most important part of all of this.

If she wants to be true to herself, she won't lie about just how much she likes Magda. 

Now that she fully understands that she's been in denial about it, there's no turning back. She knows what it is. She feels what she feels. She trusts herself. She won't deny it any longer. 

That, in itself, has to be some progress, right? 

She likes Magda. 

Cool. 

Yay? 

If only it were that easy.

She likes a girl. Not so cool, if you consider Pernille is absolutely terrified by what that means. 

She's never liked a girl before. Can you just start liking girls, at this age? Does that make her gay? Well no, because she's attracted to both. Bi then? Is that how this works? She honestly has no idea. 

Does one crush on a girl make her Bi? Does that change who she is as a person? What would her friends think? What would her parents think? How would she tell them? Would little girls stop looking up to her if they knew? Would parents stop letting their kids get her autographs?

She doesn't exactly dwell on any of these things. She knows they're all significant in the dynamic of how her life works. In fact, it's probably just how significant they are that allows her to coast over them. She doesn't have the energy right now. They'll require an entire other evening of overthinking. Every time she dwells on them, the sickening flash of fear and dread stabs her body. So she decides to just... Forget about them. For now. 

Maybe they'll go away on their own. 

She doesn't even entertain the possibility of Magda liking her back. Not yet. She's not in a place where she could even consider that ever happening. It's not that she's dismissing the idea of having a relationship with a girl, more like she's just plainly and simply never thought about it. 

Yet. 

Right now, it's all too much, so she postpones that conversation with herself, promising to revisit when she's ready. 

In the meantime, she'll just have to act natural. Regardless of everything, Pernille definitely won't be pushing Magda away again. She tried it last time and it was the most miserable week of her life. She promised herself she'd never risk their friendship like that again. No matter what. So there'll be no sudden movements this time. No rash decisions. She just needs to control herself around Magda, specifically that particularly problematic feeling of wanting to kiss her, and hope her self-restraint holds up while she figures herself out.

Everything will be alright, she just needs time. 

Noticing the ceiling starting to brighten, she exhales a deep breath and reaches for her phone. 

Her eyes burn at the searing screen brightness as she checks what hour it is. Forty-five minutes until her alarm. 

God, she's been up all night.

Talk about an existential crisis. 

Deciding it's not worth her while sleeping, she props up her pillow a little and unlocks her phone. 

She doesn't know what causes her to open her photos app.

Every second picture is Magda.

Magda smiling, laughing, walking, talking, eating, training, glaring. 

But in all the pictures of them together, she's just smiling. Every single one. 

That's kinda sweet. 

She continues scrolling until her alarm fills the screen. She rubs her eyes in frustration and reluctantly climbs out of bed. 

A cold shower and extra strong coffee help her shake the sleep-deprived haze. But the final look in the mirror on her way out the door deflates her. Her eyes are bloodshot, with prominent dark circles under them. 

She looks miserable. The terror of last night's realization etched into her features. 

Yikes, she didn't realize it was weighing on her this heavily. It's going to be a long day. 

But when she pulls open Magda's car door and hops in, something happens. 

The strangest calm comes over her. 

There she is. 

All the fear. All the dread. Everything Pernille's been afraid of since the moment she realized, dissolves with one look at her smile. 

A soft "Good Morning." 

Nothing's changed. 

Magda's morning voice still has it's usual rasp. The sleepy squint to her eyes is just as adorable. The same morning radio station is playing. The conversation is effortless as always. 

Pernille starts to feel the relief drain into her chest. 

Everything is fine. 

There's no pressure on her to figure these things out right now. To the outside world, life goes on as normal. Her internal perspective is the only thing that's changed. 

No one else knows.

All of her problems are only as big or as small as she makes them. 

She begins to feel in control again. 

Everything from now on is her choice. She decides how to react. She owes nothing to anyone. 

Pernille's personality has always been carefree, she prides herself on positive thoughts and believing things will always work out. 

There's nothing that can't be fixed with a smile and some self-belief. Even this.

So with that reassurance, she settles further into the seat and enjoys Magda poorly singing along to the radio as they head to training.

When she's handed a coffee by her unprovoked later that day, she finds it funny Magda has no idea she's the reason Pernille is losing sleep. 

Life goes on. 

Being back on the pitch is a welcome distraction. While they both have training plans tailored to their different injuries, some of the drills overlap so it's fun to be able to do them together. 

And compete, of course. 

Spending time together all week helps. Ever since she became aware of it, her attraction to Magda has only grown. 

But surprisingly, in response to that, the fear had started to recede.

Obviously the feelings are still there, but the difference is, she's no longer surprised by them. She expects to blush when Magda compliments her. She knows there'll be butterflies when their hands touch. It's almost more comforting that she now has an explanation. 

She likes Magda. 

It takes about a week before she's able to admit it to herself and not feel entirely terrified. The prospect of having romantic feelings for a girl? No longer a reason to fully freak out. 

It's a process.

Within a week of the revelation, she maybe even starts to cautiously entertain the idea. 

The only major setback is when they're out for lunch with Frido. 

She'd been comfortable with Magda all week. Things stayed the same between them, Pernille made sure of it. The attraction was still there, buried beautifully below the surface, patiently waiting for Pernille to accept it. 

But at lunch with the two Swedes was one of the first times she doubted herself. 

Frido knows them better than anyone, could she sense something was up? 

The way she was content to silently sit back and observe all their interactions made Pernille panic. 

For the first time since her revelation, she feared being judged. 

What if Frido knew? What if it was obvious? 

She hadn't really figured out exactly what she was feeling yet, she didn't want to have to confront it before she was ready. 

Thankfully, Frido didn't seem too suspicious. Even if she was, she hid it well and didn't say anything, which Pernille was very grateful for. 

She's not ready for that conversation. 

One of the biggest things that surprised her from that day, was their walk in the park after. 

As the fear of her feelings faded back into the background, her world shrank, leaving room for Magda and Magda only. 

Sitting on the bench together, Pernille was struck by how content she was to be back in Magda's presence. 

She was happy. 

As she stared around at the beautiful scenery, her mind unravelled one of the big questions. 

She wasn't afraid of falling in love with a girl.

She was afraid of what people might think. 

And just like that, the equation simplified. 

Her thoughts became less overwhelming. 

Magda suddenly becomes much less scary. 

She internally scoffs at herself.

Jesus, it's just Magda. No need to be panicking. 

With that in mind, she starts to get a little brave. 

Magda intrigues her. 

She's curious. 

Satisfied that they're relatively alone in this part of the park, she ever so slightly tests the waters. 

More for her own selfish reasons than anything else. 

So she sits close.

The places where their legs and arms touch burn through her clothes

She offers her ice cream. 

The way Magda's lips wrap around the spoon makes her mouth dry. 

Right, so the attraction is a very real thing. 

She gives it time.

When the next week of training passes, she finds little ways to push the boundaries slightly. 

Offering to stretch Magda's leg and massage her muscles just a little longer than necessary when she has a cramp. 

'Forgetting' her own training jacket so she has to borrow one of the spares she knows Magda always keeps in her locker. 

She even starts to hold her eye contact a little longer.

Magda, for her part, doesn't seem to mind one bit. All the extra attention from Pernille, however subtle, doesn't appear to phase her.

It's a nice progression. Pernille is starting to get more comfortable in her skin again. The positive reinforcement of her feelings gives her confidence that they're the real deal.

And so, ever so gradually, she starts to believe them. 

Silly as it sounds, a small part of her wondered if it was just a phase. The infatuation with Magda, the curiosity of the unknown. 

But now she knows this isn't temporary. This won't pass. It only grows stronger with each passing day. 

It's real. 

She's convinced. So she now starts to accept.

She's resigned to just letting things happen. 

The universe is in charge now. 

Another revelation comes near the end of the week. 

It was afternoon training, which meant a little extra time to get ready. Pernille would be lying if she said she didn't put on mascara and some light concealer. 

Just to take the rough edge off. 

She catches herself halfway through. 

She never puts on makeup for training. There's no point. 

Unless... 

She wanted to impress someone. 

And there it was, the plot twist. 

She wanted Magda to think she's pretty. 

She wanted the attraction to be mutual. 

She wanted Magda to like her. 

Another layer of complexity to their dynamic.

She doesn't let it change her behaviour. 

Continuing their new tradition of Saturday night adventures, some healthy competition is in order.

After the charged duels in training during the week, Pernille is desperate for redemption and a chance to settle scores. 

They decide on a nice bar walking distance from Magda's apartment. It's not shabby by any means, but it's not exactly upscale either. It doesn't really matter, they won't be drinking tonight anyway. They chose it based on one key feature. 

The pool table. 

Blood will be shed.

They keep the dress code casual. Pernille tries on four outfits before deciding black jeans and a white tee-shirt will do. The v-neck shows just enough of her collar bones to keep things interesting. She adds a nice black jacket to complete it. 

She needs to look like she's not trying too hard, even if it did take her twenty minutes to get her hair to fall right. 

With some light makeup, she ends up satisfied. 

In reality, she knows it's not like it matters. Magda sees her barefaced and sweating literally every day. But still, she feels better about herself having made an effort. 

She parks at Magda's apartment, jogs up the steps, and knocks. 

Why the fuck is she nervous? 

It's ridiculous. 

This isn't a date. 

It's the same as they've done every weekend.

When she hears the door being unlocked, her heart hammers faster. 

And then it stops. 

Frido is staring back with a smirk.

Not who Pernille was expecting. 

"Well... Don't you look lovely," she tilts her head to the side, giving Pernille a purposeful once over, before nodding her approval and stepping aside to let her in

"Uh, so do you," and she means it, Frido is dressed up. Full makeup, hair straightened, nice dress. 

"Thanks P. Dinner with a couple of family friends," with that, she grabs her purse and heads towards the door. 

A final wink at Pernille before shouting "Have fun kids!" 

Magda appears around the corner a second later.

Pernille will never get used to the smile. The one that always breaks across Magda's face anytime she sees her. 

She's never had someone react with such joy at just her presence. 

It's too early in the night for blushing. 

It's about a ten-minute walk to the bar. 

There's a decent crowd in. Enough people for an atmosphere but still plenty of free seats. It's chill. Perfect way to unwind on a Saturday night. 

They order a Coke each and grab a booth, waiting until the pool table is free. 

While they're sitting, Pernille takes the time to appreciate Magda's outfit. And face. But mostly her outfit. 

A tight green tee-shirt that matches her eyes. Black skinny jeans that perfectly showcase the muscles in her legs. She completes the look with a casual blue denim jacket.

If Pernille isn't imagining, she sees a light application of makeup there too. Maybe she isn't the only one making an effort. 

The big thing though is that Magda's hair is down. 

While training she almost always has it in a ponytail, tied back securely out of her way. But here, it looks extra silky, framing her face perfectly.

Pernille didn't mean to, but she stares. She hadn't intended to appreciate Magda's appearance so obviously, but when her eyes glance at Magda's lips, the small smirk there causes her to look away. 

Luckily, the pool table becomes available, so any awkwardness is avoided when they're up and jumping into action. 

Once the balls are in the perfect triangle, they do a coin toss to see who get to break. 

Pernille is way too excited to win it. 

Once she grabs the pool stick, she sharpens the top with the blue chalk and pretends to know what she's doing. 

Magda rolls her eyes at the unnecessary preparations. 

Pernille's first shot is awful. 

Her technique is all wrong, the white ball weakly rolls into the triangle barely scattering them. 

Magda can't contain her laughter. 

Pernille rests her head onto the green fabric of the table in shame 

She feels the condescending pat on her shoulder and lifts her head to see Magda already lining up her shot. 

Ruthless

Pernille leans on her stick, watching on as Magda pots two in a row. 

She's smug. What's fucking new. Pernille has never seen anyone to get so cocky the second they start they're winning. 

The only consolation is, Pernille has to admit that confidence looks good on her. The smirk. The way her shoulders square back. The raised chin. Her entire body language, from head to toe, screams self-confidence. 

It's... Very attractive. 

And distracting. 

Pernille will blame that for her terrible next shot.

It was worse than the first. 

She misses the ball completely, despite having a perfectly straightforward shot to sink it. 

"Oh wow. I can't believe this was your idea. I thought you'd be tired of losing this week." 

Pernille just sticks her tongue out like the child she is. 

Magda easily pots her next shot before missing. 

Pernille dramatically sighs that it's her turn again and leans down to line up the next one.

Magda disappears from her peripheral, resurfacing just behind her shoulder. 

Pernille jumps at the hand on her back, before realising it's just Magda and easing back into the touch. 

"Relax, here let me help you," because her lips are so close to Pernille's ear, she murmurs it. 

The huskiness sends a shiver up Pernille's spine.

It's a cliché move. 

But the thing Pernille is leaning about clichés, is that they work. 

They're tried and tested. 

This certainly feels intimate. 

The heat of Magda's hands wrapping around her own. The strength of her arms and torso cradling her. The softness of her cheek touching Pernille's as she leans in, rocking them slightly to adjust their stance. 

There's not a centimetre of space between them. 

"Alright so aim... steady your grip... take a deep breath... and... Hit," she moves their bodies through each step as she commentates it. 

They pause in position, watching the ball sail into the corner pocket. 

Perfect. 

Magda slowly leans back enough to look into Pernille's eyes, smile softly, and gently pull away. 

She ducks her head and tucks her hair behind her ear as she takes a very purposeful step back out of her personal space. 

With the proximity gone, Pernille recovers enough from the paralysing attraction, finding the words to speak. 

"Thank you," she says it sincerely, offering a beaming smile. It's cute that even though Magda wants to beat her, she made an exception to help the enemy.

Magda just nods bashfully. The confidence has retreated somewhat, leaving a strange shyness. 

She's blushing.

A small voice in Pernille's head flags it as hope. She made Magda blush. The idea of her feelings being reciprocated is fleeting and wonderful. 

She won't read into it. 

She promised she'd just let things happen naturally. 

"It's still your turn, go on, you're still losing," Magda gently reminds her. 

Turning her mind back to the game, Pernille scans the table and decides how to win. 

Time to turn it on.

Her entire approach changes. 

She has perfect technique. 

She pots three in quick succession before turning her attention to a stunned Magda. 

She's staring in disbelief. 

"Oh, you thought you were winning? No honey, I was just giving you a headstart." 

She's the one smirking now. She places a very strategic hand on the small of Magda's waist and applies pressure. 

"Do you mind moving? You're blocking my shot," she's enjoying having the upper hand. 

For every additional shot she sinks, Magda looks increasingly perplexed.

Magda doesn't get another shot in. 

Pernille even finishes with a no-look shot from an elaborate angle. She holds Magda's eyes as she buries the final ball and wins the game. 

Magda's just standing there shaking her head with a rueful smile. She doesn't even look pissed like she usually does whenever she loses. This just looks like awe. 

She puts the pool stick down and wanders over to where Magda's slowly clapping the performance.

She can't contain the goofy grin. 

"Where the fuck did that come from? " 

Pernille laughs as they retake their seats in the booth. 

She shrugs her shoulders. 

"Maybe you're just a great teacher?"

"Bullshit." 

"Yeah, so my grandad plays a few times per week. It's his favourite hobby, so he taught me how to play as a child. And now we play whenever I'm home, for Christmas or holidays and whatever."

"So you lured me into playing a game that you're basically a child prodigy in?"

Pernille laughs and slaps Magda's arm at the exaggeration. She sees the compliment hidden in the accusation though. She blushes under the attention. 

"Shhh, you're just trying to make excuses for why you lost." 

"There's no shame in losing to a professional. And to think, there I was, trying to be nice and help you," Magda shakes her head, disgusted at herself. 

"Aw, that was cute though. Appreciate the effort." 

"You lied to me." 

"I didn't lie, I misled. There's a difference."

"Still sounds like cheating to me," she mutters it, smiling into her drink knowing it'll be controversial. 

Pernille gasps at yet another accusation of cheating. 

"Playing badly is cheating?" 

"Shut up," Magda doesn't have an answer so she avoids it by heading to the bar and returning with two more Cokes. 

A live band kicks up not too long after. They're good. Probably local. Their style is mostly acoustic covers of pop songs. The lead singer is a tall, broad-shouldered blond, as Swedish looking as they come.

The girls relax into the booth and enjoy the music. It's not loud or intrusive, so they can still easily hold a conversation. 

They're doing that thing again. Sitting so close their entire sides are touching. 

After a particularly impressive guitar rift by the singer, Pernille feels the need to comment on his skills. 

"He's amazing."

"Yeah he has a nice voice."

"No, I meant the guitar. It's my favourite instrument. I love people who can play," she says it casually, staring longingly into the distance with serious admiration. 

Magda doesn't respond right away. When she does, her voice is slightly lower than previously. 

"I can play," she says it mostly to herself.

Pernille laughs it off. 

"Yeah right, no you can't," she rolls her eyes. 

"I can. Seriously." 

"Really?" 

Pernille turns to look at her, and Magda nods confirmation. 

She's being serious. 

Well, there's only one thing to do with this information. 

"Prove it."

She's sitting on the couch back at the apartment. A soft glow from the lamp in the corner bathes the room in shadows. Magda appears from her room holding, sure enough, a guitar. 

"How did I not know you play?" 

"I don't know, I mostly play in my room when Frido isn't home so no one really hears it."

"Well I wanna hear it. Play something," the excitement raises the pitch of her voice. 

Magda looks uncharacteristically flustered. 

"Uhh... right now?" 

"Yeah!" 

She scratches at the back of her neck and awkwardly sits on the edge of the couch. 

Settling herself, she brushes her hair to one side, leaving her neck exposed. 

She strums it gently to check the tune and turns to Pernille. 

"What do you want to hear?" 

"Surprise me." 

Magda stares at her for a second, like she's looking for inspiration. She can see the golden specks of light flickering in the deep green. 

Turning her head back and closing her eyes, she pauses. 

The only sound that can be heard is their breathing. 

And then, the air in the room changes. 

Her face just goes blank as she begins the opening few chords. 

Pernille recognises it immediately. 

'Here Comes The Sun' 

It's a stunning version. 

The intricate way her fingers pluck the strings. Gorgeous soft sounds, gently filling the air.

Pernille can't look away from her face. The bone structure in this light. The slant of her cheekbones. The glow of her skin. The curl of her eyelashes. The way she's softly biting her lip in concentration. 

She's mesmerising.

Pernille's heart is racing again. 

If she thought she had feelings before, good god what are these. 

'Like' doesn't seem a strong enough word anymore.

A couple of days later they're allowed to travel with the team for an away match. Now that they're back on their feet, they can be useful in helping during the warmup and getting the kits ready. 

It's a nice start to their reintegration back into the squad. Being back on the bus and hearing all the inside jokes and banter reminds them that rehab is temporary. This is all waiting for them once they're back to full fitness. 

The match itself is pretty uneventful, a timid win. The highlight is probably hearing Magda's thoughts on the tactics again. It's always interesting to discuss their different positional perspectives. Pernille is just happy to be there.

It's dark by the time they all drag themselves back onto the bus. Deciding to use the journey home to catch up with some of their teammates, Pernille and Magda opt not to sit together for a change. Granted they're still not too far away. 

Pernille is sitting at the inside window seat, with Frido settled across the table from her. Magda is the same side as Frido, but on the outer seat just the opposite side of the aisle. 

It's fun to talk with her other teammates and hear how their lives are going. Even though she has Magda, rehab can be isolating. It's nice to feel part of the team again. 

Eventually, as the post-match tiredness kicks in, everyone starts to doze off. Pernille entertains herself with looking out the window, watching the world go by. 

She can't see much other than headlights, but it's better than watching her teammates ungracefully sleeping. 

She looks over at Magda from time to time. A few times she's lucky, and Magda's looking back. Not wanting to disturb their teammates, they decide against a conversation. 

Trading smiles is enough for now.

And then Magda will look away, and Pernille will return to looking out the window. 

She uses the time to do some more soul searching. There's something about looking out a window and thinking deeply that makes her feel dramatic. It's basically a scene from every movie ever.

Lately, there's been a lot to think about. But she's happy with where she's at. It's been a gradual process of figuring things out.

She likes Magda. She fully accepts that now. 

She even embraces it. She's excited about having a crush. 

In the end, the more she thought about it, the less she cared that Magda is a girl.

It's about the person. 

That's what's important. 

And Magda is one fucking incredible person. 

Her attraction was so natural. She refuses to deny her feelings just because it's a girl. 

She always believed that you don't choose who you fall in love with. 

And woah there, not that she's saying she's in love with Magda. 

Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 

It's too early for any of that. 

And besides, she doesn't even know if Magda likes her back yet. 

Well, she has her suspicions. 

But she's looking forward to seeing how things develop between them. 

If she's reading things right, there's definitely been some positive signs.

Potential. 

Once she recognised her own attraction, she started to pay more attention to Magda's behaviour around her aswell. 

She's still learning to recognize the signs of if a girl likes her.

It's something she's excited to explore. 

But some things are pretty self-explanatory. 

Like right now. 

And the fact that Magda has been staring at her for the past ten minutes. 

She thinks Pernille is looking out the window. 

She hasn't realized that Pernille's been watching her in the reflection of the window the entire time. 

Pernille sits it out and waits until poor Magda catches her eye in the glass. 

She holds her gaze, still not sure if Pernille can see her or not. 

Judging by the shocked reaction when Pernille raises her eyebrows at her, she now realizes she's been caught red-handed. 

Bustedddd.

Saving her from freaking out, Pernille just throws a wink through the reflection, laughing it off. 

That earns her a guilty beaming smile in return. 

They hold each other's eyes for just a beat longer, before both looking away. 

Pernille can feel yet another blush coming on. 

She doesn't need to look over at Magda to know she's definitely doing the same.

It's a new feeling, to know she can have that effect on Magda. 

She likes it. 

Game on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> It was so hard to write P's POV here. Some serious character development packed into this, the journey to self acceptance was super complex to try and get right. Happy with it in the end and I think it fits her personality, let me know what you think!
> 
> I'll reread for more typos in the morning, just wanted to get it posted asap.
> 
> Hope it was worth the wait xoxo


	10. Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! If you're reading this, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your patience. I'm so sorry it's been so long, life has been crazy. Believe me when I promise you I wrote this as soon as I could.
> 
> Ch9 was the best reaction and feedback yet. Incredibly positive, so many of the comments made me genuinely smile!
> 
> As always, on tumblr as @cupidwriter if you've any questions/feedback/anything fic related x
> 
> :)
> 
> Without further ado...

She's doing it on purpose.

Magda is convinced now.

But for a while, she wasn't so sure.

It started after the night she admitted the crush to Frido, along with the confession she thinks it might be mutual.

Once she said it out loud, Magda started to actually give it a chance. Entertain the idea. Read into things. Let herself actively hope. 

It took her about a week to come to the definitive conclusion. 

Pernille was flirting with her. 

Or, well... Trying to. 

It was subtle at first.

Unnecessary touches here and there. Holding eye contact longer than usual. More smiles. Less personal space. 

Magda, for once in her life, managed to play it cool. 

She took it all in her stride. That small bit of doubt as to whether or not Pernille liked her, created the illusion of her calm exterior. 

She was able to play it off. Both to herself and Pernille. 

Don't dive in. Don't jump to conclusions. Stay cautious. There was no solid proof. 

So she just absorbed all the extra attention and tried not to react too much. At face value, everything was normal. Under the surface, she over-analysed every single interaction.

But eventually, there came a point when a pattern emerged. Things were happening too frequently to be merely accidental. Magda began to mentally compile evidence that Pernille liked her back.

There were simply too many signs to ignore. 

The most obvious was probably catching Pernille staring on a few occasions.

None more intriguing than the moment at the bar. 

The game started to change that night.

Magda wasn't expecting much, if she's honest. Play pool. Chat. Relax. Enjoy each other's company. 

She always looked forward to spending time with Pernille outside of training. 

In fact, she always looked forward to spending time with Pernille in general.

But there's always something special about spending their free time together.

The difference? 

It was a choice. 

And they consistently chose each other.

Magda had started the night with no intention to abandon her game plan of nonchalance. 

No matter how much it felt like one, it wasn't a date. So she refused to treat it as such. 

Yet sometimes, things don't go to plan. 

Like Pernille forgetting herself and staring at Magda for at least a solid eight seconds. 

Yes, it was long enough that she had time to count. 

It started at her toes. And Pernille's eyes slowly traced their way up along her body. 

Magda was aware her outfit wasn't that spectacular. She knew the likelihood was that it wasn't the clothes that were being admired, it was what's underneath.

Cue the blush.

She's glad the booth was poorly lit. 

As if that wasn't enough, whether she meant to or not, Pernille spent three of those seconds staring at her lips. 

It was long enough for Magda to notice. 

And smirk.

Wrong move. 

Just when she thought Pernille was getting brave, and on the verge of making her position clear, she reacted unexpectedly. 

When caught staring, she was the one who got flustered. Avoiding Magda's eyes. Jumping into action and using the pool table as an escape route. 

It was confusing, and contradictory, until Magda realized what just happened.

She hadn't meant to stare. 

After everything this week, and all the signs of flirting, the biggest signal she'd given Magda was one she never even intended to give.

It was accidentally blatant. 

Almost like she couldn't help herself. 

Careful not to fluster her further, Magda lets it go without comment. Pernille clearly surprised herself, so Magda gives her time to process and just gets on with the game as normal. 

She'd be lying if she said she didn't feel more confident after that though. 

Having that effect on Pernille? 

Addictive. 

Magda almost expected some sort of awkwardness after it. Thinking maybe Pernille would shy away, take a step back, and distance herself to counteract the earlier incident. 

She didn't. 

In fact, she almost did the opposite. 

When she looked Magda in the eye, it was confident. When she spoke to her and joked during her first few terrible shots, it was sincere. 

After the initial shock of realising she'd been staring, it seems like she just decided to roll with it.

Magda decided to do the same. 

Which involved putting the poor girl out of her misery and teaching her how to hit a straight shot. 

As she took her place behind Pernille to teach her the technique, she was careful. 

She moved slowly, analysing her reaction for the slightest hesitation, and giving Pernille every opportunity to pull away. 

The way she relaxed into Magda's body was incredibly telling. 

She was comfortable.

Even in a position as intimate as that. 

It's a small thing, but it made Magda happy.

Maybe too happy... 

Alright, so she'll put her hands up and admit that she dropped her voice a couple of octaves to murmur into Pernille's ear.

She's been holding back from all intentional flirting for so long, she couldn't help herself.

A little huskiness never hurt anybody. 

Judging by Pernille's distracted expression, and delayed reaction when their shot was successful, Magda hadn't lost her touch. 

She held their position just a second longer, savouring the contact, before taking a very deliberate step out of Pernille's personal space again. 

Boundaries. She doesn't want to scare her away by doing too much too soon. 

What she couldn't have predicted, would be Pernille's response. 

A beaming smile of thanks, looking just as happy about their little moment as Magda was. 

Before turning into a professional pool player and handing Magda a humiliating loss. 

She can't even be mad about it. 

Pernille is just full of surprises. 

Not to mention the cockiness she discovered.

Wow. 

From taunting Magda with more physical contact than necessary, like squeezing her waist to move her out of the way, to the quick wit and condescending eyebrow raises when she potted yet another shot.

Clumsy was replaced by smooth. 

It's a whole other side to Pernille.

And one Magda finds very, very attractive. 

That same side makes a surprise reappearance a couple of days later on the bus.

This time Magda was the guilty party, feeling her heart stop when she realized Pernille was watching her staring. 

A thousand fears flew through her mind at that moment. 

She'd ruined it. She'd freaked her out. She came on too strong and now Pernille was going to run. 

But instead, Pernille did the unthinkable. 

She winked. 

And Magda almost died.

The initial relief was fast forgotten as excitement made it's home in her very bones.

She could only concentrate on one thought... 

Pernille knows.

And she's playing along.

There it was, the sign Magda needed. 

Now that she knew she has a real chance, the crush got ten times worse.

In the couple of days after, Magda can't help but feel the rules have changed.

OK, time to process. 

Pernille has somewhat green-lighted the crush.

She knows Magda likes her. And she has reasonably indicated that she may potentially like her back. 

Now Magda just needs to figure out how best to proceed.

But the thing is... 

She's in a difficult position. 

It's a double-edged sword. 

On one side, she feels the responsibility to take the lead. Obviously, she's the one with more experience. She knows Pernille is new to this, so naturally, she expects to have to guide her towards whatever their current relationship develops into. 

But on the other side, she knows the worst thing she could do is come on too strong. 

She imagines Pernille is still sorting out her feelings. And while she's seemed confident in the last week, Magda knows she could change her mind at any time. 

A new relationship is always scary. Especially when it's with your best friend, there's a lot to lose. She's aware that Pernille probably has the same fears she does, plus the added uncertainty of having never dated a girl before.

The most important part of this remains to be protecting their high priority friendship and very entangled lives. Magda knows she can't let anything go wrong.

Regardless of whatever they become, she must preserve what they already have. 

It's crucial.

As always, when making big decisions, Magda considers every option and consequence. 

She'd love nothing more than to go full throttle and woo Pernille off her feet.

But she knows that would be too much too fast. 

And even if Pernille wasn't overwhelmed, and went along with it, Magda is afraid she'll have forced it.

She needs this to happen because it's something they both want, not because she somehow pressured Pernille into it. 

She quickly establishes that the best way forward will be patience. 

It'll be a process.

She has to find the balance. 

Take things slowly. 

Flirt enough to make her position blatantly obvious, yet leave the ball in Pernille's court to escalate things at her own pace. 

That's logical. 

It's basically a way to say 'whenever you're ready, I'll be here'. 

It's the best approach Magda can come up with.

She starts to phase it in during their free time after training. 

They've been stepping up their rehab with more ball work on the pitch, in preparation of returning to full team training in the next couple of weeks. 

Both their injuries are completely healed, so it's now just a matter of rebuilding strength, stamina, and sharpness.

One of the most effective ways for them both to work on all three things is doing 1v1s.

They spend at least an hour on the field battling every day.

The coaching and medical staff, satisfied they're fully recovered, gave them the go-ahead to train with full intensity.

They trust they won't kill each other. 

Needless to say neither hold back.

Tackles flying in. Grappling for possession. Trips. Pushes. A few close-range blocks that sting. 

Nothing dangerous. They're not stupid. But it's not exactly clean either. 

It takes a couple of days for the bruises to start to appear. 

Magda first notices when they're back at Pernille's apartment after training. 

The tee-shirt and shorts Pernille is wearing after her shower reveal the true extent of the damage. 

They're on a gradient spectrum of black, blue and green. Varying sizes. Sprinkled down both her legs. Her arms have a few small marks too. 

"You look like a dalmatian," Magda comments, leaning against the counter as Pernille stirs a pot of pasta.

Stirring is the only part of cooking that Magda trusts her with.

Placing down the spoon, Pernille glances down and turns both legs to survey her collection.

She shrugs her shoulders, unfazed. 

"And whose fault is that?" 

"Hey hey, don't act so innocent, I have just as many," Magda pulls her shorts slightly higher to reveal the sinister black bruise the size of her hand, sitting pretty on the outside of her thigh. 

A Pernille rocket she blocked from point-blank range.

Pernille winces when she sees it, immediately reaching out to gently run her fingertips over the raised flesh.

Almost as if she's trying to soothe it. 

Magda inhales a sharp breath at the sensation, warm fingers brushing softly over the tender skin.

She hopes the bruise is too dark for her to see the goosebumps. 

"I did say sorry about that one. Fuck it looks worse than yesterday."

Well shit. Now Pernille feels bad. She's even pouting. 

Alright Magda, time to act tough and impress her. 

"It's fine. Doesn't hurt at all. I don't think your shot is as strong as you think it is." 

It's a blatant lie but she'll stick to it if it makes Pernille feel less guilty. 

The unimpressed eyebrow raise is enough to tell Magda she doesn't believe her. 

"It doesn't hurt?"

"Nope." 

"Really?" 

"No." 

She should have known by the mischievous look in her eye it was coming. 

It only takes Pernille the slightest poke of the bruise before Magda is flinching.

"Liar." 

She shakes her head and goes back to stirring the pasta. 

"Fine, it hurts a little..."

In petulant retaliation, Magda pokes the yellow bruise on Pernille's forearm.

She gets no real reaction, other than an unimpressed look. 

Magda supposes it didn't make much sense to poke one that's already healing. 

She scans her legs for a better one, but she's struck by just how many there are.

She'd feel a little bad if her own body wasn't just as marked. 

"How many do you actually have though?"

"I didn't know, I didn't count them." 

Magda's quiet for a second. 

"I bet I've more than you," she challenges, clearly confident. 

Pernille rolls her eyes as she takes the pot off the heat. 

She tilts her head as much to say 'Really? We're doing this?' 

"Let's count. Loser buys the most bruised a milkshake tomorrow, as an apology."

Pernille looks down at her arm and begins to count aloud but Magda interrupts. 

"No no, I'll count them. You've a history of cheating."

That earns her a glare.

While it looks like another one of their stupid competitions on the surface, Magda had ulterior motives. 

It's an excuse to touch her. 

She takes Pernille's wrist delicately in one hand, stretching it out and beginning to count by gently tapping on each mark. 

She counts aloud rather quietly, it's just the two of them after all. 

There's seven on her arms. Two on one side, and five small ones on the other, clearly from Magda's hand gripping her too tightly at some point. 

She feels a pang of regret at the thought of accidentally having hurt her. She knows it was just training but she still doesn't like the feeling. She's usually protecting her, not causing the damage. She makes a mental note to be more careful in future. No one should be leaving a mark on Pernille. Especially not her. 

She bends down and moves to legs next. 

Alright, so this is where she kicks up the flirting a bit. 

She agonisingly trails her finger from bruise to bruise. Far slower than necessary. 

She connects them like a constellation. Continuing to count aloud, taking scenic routes between marks to maximise skin covered.

The kitchen is well lit. She can see the trail of goosebumps her touch is leaving.

Mission accomplished. 

She goes for it as the finale, trailing a hand from Pernille's ankle up along her calf, under the pretence of trying to keep her balance as she stands. 

When she finally sees Pernille's face, it's exactly what she was hoping for.

Mouth slightly open. Eyes boring into Magda's own. There's even a slight blush. 

"Twenty three," Magda says softly to break the tension. 

Pernille blinks out of it. She even shakes her head ever so slightly, managing to concentrate. 

"Uh, right. My turn?" 

She eagerly reaches out her hand to grab Magda and begin counting, but Magda surprises her and takes a step back. 

"No there's no need. You definitely win."

Pernille stands there in utter confusion at Magda's forfeit. 

"But... " 

Magda waits with a smirk. 

What's she going to do? Protest that she won? Just because she didn't get a chance to touch Magda? 

She looks frustrated as she tries to come up with an excuse. 

"Nothing," she eventually sighs.

She just shakes her head and turns her attention to the pasta, apparently still processing what just happened. 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Magda's flirting masterclass. Rule number one, always leave them wanting more.

Magda had no idea she started a war. 

After dinner, they're sitting on the couch watching football when the argument comes up. They want to watch different matches. Pernille insists on Man Utd, but they're losing by three goals in the second half. It's over, as far as Magda is concerned. 

When she gets Pernille distracted by her phone, Magda grabs the remote and swaps to the Swedish league.

As you can well imagine, that wasn't a popular decision with Pernille. 

Naturally, they end up in a scuffle over the remote. 

It's a full-on wrestle. Magda is at a disadvantage because Pernille attacked first, and is now trying to grab the remote Magda is straining to keep out of her reach. 

Magda, understandably, gets distracted when Pernille throws all boundaries out the window and just sits herself into Magda's lap, facing her, and stretches her way to the remote.

Magda honestly just gives in and lets her take it. 

With their current seating position, she can't think straight. 

Literally. 

This is not good for her slow and steady plan.

Pernille is right there. 

It's temptation she really does not need right now.

Magda does the respectful thing and keeps her hands outstretched, pointedly not touching her. 

Pernille seems to recognize that Magda gave in rather easily. 

She eyes the hands hovering a safe distance, pauses, looks down at her, and for the briefest second, Magda thinks she's going to kiss her. 

Instead, Pernille is the one with the smirk this time, condescendingly patting Magda on the cheek with the remote. 

"Good girl." 

She climbs out of Magda's lap, but only long enough to turn around and sit back in properly. Half on Magda, half on the couch. 

Well, mostly on Magda. 

Magda waits for her to move, thinking maybe she slipped, but she just settles in and changes it back to the United match. 

This time it's Magda that's flustered.

Her heart is hammering. 

What does she do now? 

She had not anticipated ending up with Pernille in her lap this evening.

She has a plan and this is not it. 

Yeah, they sometimes sit on each other at training and stuff, but that's when they don't have enough seats. 

This is unnecessary. It's just Pernille's preference. 

Magda doesn't even realize she still has her arms outstretched, unsure where to put them. 

Pernille takes notice though and surprises Magda yet again by grabbing them in each hand and guiding them around her torso, before lounging back further into Magda, making herself comfortable. 

Magda stiffens at first, she mentally wonders if this is OK. But Pernille initiated it, so she goes with her instincts and wraps her arms tightly around Pernille's waist. She waits anxiously for a reaction. 

That was apparently the right move.

Pernille leans her head forward enough to turn and look at Magda. 

Her eyes scan Magda's face, before giving her the softest smile and turning back to the match.

Magda leans her cheek against Pernille's shoulder in response.

If this is a glimpse of what they're heading for, Magda can't wait. 

She could definitely get used to this.

After that their flirting finds a strange rhythm, in which they're being sweet to each other more than they're teasing. 

Like when Pernille's hair falls into her face while her hands are covered in the sticky cooling gel for her tight calf.

Magda doesn't hesitate to reach out and tuck the loose strands back behind her ear before Pernille even has to ask her to. 

It earns her a shy smile and blush.

They've always been comfortable touching one another, but it noticeably kicks up a notch in the days that follow. 

Pernille comes out of an ice batch, and immediately makes her way to Magda who's already drying off after her own. 

"Feel how cold my hands are," standing in front of her, Pernille reaches up and places both hands on Magda's cheeks.

The eye contact and extended pause, in this proximity, are entirely unnecessary.

But the cheeky smile when she walks away tells Magda she knew exactly what she was doing. 

When they're allowed to sit in on a team tactical meeting for the upcoming game, Pernille gets bored. 

The way she reaches out and grabs Magda's wrist without a second thought, turning the watch to face her, before sighing in disappointment.

They'll be here a while longer. 

Magda understands the impatience, it's hard to pay attention when you know you won't be involved in this match. Being in the back row alone doesn't help. 

She thinks of ways to keep Pernille entertained.

There are a pen and paper on the table in front of her. She could try to write a message? But that would be boring.

When Pernille grabs Magda's wrist to check the time again barely five minutes later, she gets an idea. 

Magda picks the pen up off the desk and takes Pernille's wrist closest to her. 

Pernille offers it into her lap without resistance. 

Magda draws a very basic watch around her wrist. 

Her arm wiggles slightly under the ticklish sensation of the pen, but Magda persists with the circular face, and outline of the strap all around her wrist. 

She hesitates when filling in the numbers on the clock face. 

She considers just drawing a smiley face, but that doesn't seem right. 

She looks up at Pernille, who's trying to keep her face forward and paying attention, yet keeps throwing side glances to see what Magda's up to. 

And just like that, Magda knows exactly what to do. 

Pernille's smile when she looks down and sees the heart drawn makes Magda's own heart flutter. 

God, it really is the simple things, isn't it? 

The very next day, sitting on Pernille's couch after training, Magda finds herself on the opposite side of the attention. 

Pernille isn't even watching the TV. She's sucking on a lollipop, looking down and toying with the bracelet on Magda's hand. 

It's innocent enough. Gently fidgeting and running her fingers along it. 

Things get slightly less innocent when Pernille's thumb starts to rub the sensitive skin along the inside of Magda's wrist.

It's featherlight and torturous. 

And when she moves on to flipping Magda's hand over and playing with her fingertips, Magda can't take much more. 

She's blushing, just from Pernille's touch. 

Jesus she needs to get a grip. 

She's better than this.

She has far more game than this. 

There's no way she's going to let Pernille get away with all the fun. 

She examines her face for a way to react and can't help but be struck by how much Pernille looks like a chipmunk. 

She has pinchable cheeks on a good day, but the lollipop is like a golf ball out the side of her face. 

Chipmunk.

Well no, she's cuter than that. 

A baby chipmunk, maybe? 

For fuck sake Magda, focus.

The longer she takes, the more time Pernille has to drive her crazy with all this fingertip attention. 

Right OK, need to react. Need to react. Need to react. 

Got it.

It's a bold move but fuck it. 

She reaches out, gently pulls the lollipop from Pernille's mouth, and pops it into her own.

It's cherry. 

There's a beat of silence. 

"Did you just?" 

Magda acts surprised, turning her attention from the TV to Pernille to see what the problem is. 

"Hm?" 

Her eyes are wide in disbelief. But up this close, Magda can see how dilated her pupils are.

She secretly loves it. 

"Did you just steal my lollipop?" 

"No, I didn't steal anything."

Pernille reaches up and moves the stick to prove her point, but Magda keeps her mouth closed around it and lets her head get steered.

Magda feels a weird tension, having Pernille focus on her mouth so much. 

"You stole it," she's pouting. 

"I borrowed it." 

"Well can I have it back?" 

Magda looks her in the eye, considers it, and moves it to the other side of her mouth. 

"Nah." 

"Magda!" 

She's jumping up and down from her seat on the couch, outraged but smiling through it all the same. 

Magda rolls her eyes and eventually gives in. 

"Fine." 

She pops it out of her mouth and hands it back. Pernille immediately puts it back in her own mouth, crossing her arms and looking every bit like a toddler sulking. But Magda can see faint the blush. 

Point to Magda.

Jot it down.

Magda herself tries not to think about the fact that they technically kissed just now, through a lollipop...

Kinda. 

If they're the kind of reaches she's making already she hasn't a hope of out-lasting Pernille. 

She chooses their day-off adventures as the perfect time to start the next phase of gentle wooing.

Magda makes it as much of a date as she can without ever calling it that.

Now that they're close to a comeback, football slowly becomes the focus again, even during their days off. They've missed it. After so long away, the appetite is stronger than ever.

It's a dry day, cloudy but mild. No need for jackets. Magda wants to make the most of it outdoors. 

They wander to the local park near Magda's house for a kickaround. 

It's a wide-open field, with two pitches back to back nestled to one side. 

It's fairly basic, the goals don't even have nets, but besides for the odd dog walker or rare occasion people are using the picnic tables, it's a quiet enough area.

As they arrive, ball and boots in hand on a Wednesday afternoon, it's abandoned. 

Magda drops the backpack of snacks and they're quick to lace up and get moving.

God, she's missed this. 

Playing two touch, lobbing it up for the other to control, blaming each other for mistakes after perfectly bad passes.

There's no one Magda would rather be here with. 

Watching the concentration on Pernille's face. The way her body flows around the ball. Her ability to explode into acceleration. How the same girl that has tripped down stairs more times than Magda can count, is so graceful in motion.

In her distracted appreciation, Magda misses controlling a pass. 

The Pernille effect. 

Magda's convinced that's half the reason Pernille skips past defenders so easily. 

They're left admiring the brilliance, forgetting they're meant to be stopping it. 

Pure talent.

And never satisfied. 

"Can we practice some finishing crosses on the volley? My timing was off yesterday." 

"Of course," Magda replies easily. 

As if she needed to ask. There's nothing Magda wouldn't do for her. 

The first few are good. It's a slow process, to go retrieve the ball after each goal, but they get through it. 

Satisfied with her near post finishing, Pernille wants to change it up. 

"Can you try hit the back of the 6-yard box?"

Famous last words. 

It doesn't end well. 

They sprint in sync at full pace, Pernille making sure to stay onside. When Magda whips in a cross from the wing on her left foot, it hits the target. 

Pernille is there and meets it in full flight. 

But she gets a little too much on it. 

It rattles off the upright of the post. 

She has no time to duck. 

It deflects straight off her forehead with a sickening thump.

She's down immediately. 

Magda is sprinting over hoping she's not knocked out. 

"PERNILLE! ARE YOU OK?" 

There's no answer until she arrives, and sees the obvious winces of pain. 

Magda kneels down and gently pulls her hand away from her face, concerned to see the lump already rising on the top of her forehead.

"Are you alright?"

"Fuck," it's muttered, while she rocks her legs side to side and tries to get her bearings. 

When she opens her eyes, Magda is inches away, with a hand on her cheek, leaning in to check for any signs of concussion.

Wouldn't this be romantic, if Pernille hadn't almost beheaded herself. 

She reaches her hand out, asking to be sat up.

She squints and rubs her head. 

"I'm fine. But fuck. Ow." 

Seeing she's alright, just a bit shaken... Magda can't help herself. 

It starts as a giggle she tries to stifle. 

When Pernille looks over, it bursts out into a fit of laughter. 

God that has to go down as one of her clumsiest moments yet. 

Pernille, always a good sport, joins in. 

She knows that was bad, even for her. 

"You always outdo yourself." 

"If you tell anyone about this I'll kill you."

"I think they'll know P, the lump is pretty big already."

Magda traces her finger over it. It's rock hard. 

Pernille pouts, and it looks extra sad. She always looks ridiculously vulnerable when she's hurt. 

Magda has to do something. She needs to fix it.

Pernille's eyes widen comically as Magda leans in. 

Magda leaves the softest of kisses on the lump. Barely a brush of lips, just enough to avoid hurting her. 

When she pulls back, Pernille's eyes are closed. 

But her mouth is slightly open. 

Waiting. 

It takes her brain a moment to catch up. 

Her eyes fly open, realising Magda wasn't about to kiss her. Well, not the kind of kiss she was apparently expecting. 

"There. I kissed it better," Magda shrugs, giving a wry smile. 

She keeps things normal, calmly pulling Pernille to her feet, before going to collect the ball. 

Mentally, she is doing fucking acrobatics.

Magda could have kissed her. 

More importantly?

Pernille would have let her 

We're in the end game now folks.

They decide that's probably enough football for one day, making their way over to the picnic tables to eat. 

"I still need to get a dress for the gala next week," Pernille comments in between bites of her banana. 

"We can go Monday morning before training, I have one I haven't worn yet, it'll do," Magda's not too concerned. 

It's the annual charity dinner the club hosts. More for the executives and club stakeholders than the players, but they don't mind turning up for the pictures. And food. 

Plus, it's always for a good cause.

They haven't directly talked about it yet, but Magda thinks they'll probably be each other's dates. 

It's an unspoken thing. 

There have been a few hints here and there. Little comments. As it fast approaches, Magda's confident one of them will have to cave eventually and ask the other.

She won't worry about it yet. 

They make light work of the backpack full of food they brought. 

After that, they just sit around and talk.

Magda doesn't want it to end. 

She'll never get tired of having Pernille's full attention. 

Even just to be sitting here, having her smiling across the table like that. She feels a strange privilege to even exist in her presence.

She can't wait to be able to call Pernille hers.

As they're walking back across the pitch to the car, Magda pulls out her phone. 

She wants to capture the moment. 

She feels like it might be significant in their story. 

It'll be nice to look back on someday. 

"Smile P," she stops and holds the phone out to take a selfie, making sure to get Pernille in the shot. 

Just as she's about to snap the picture, Pernille ducks in and plants a kiss on Magda's cheek. 

She timed it perfectly. The picture is adorable. 

When Magda looks away from the phone, Pernille's gaze is already waiting for her.

What strikes Magda is the confidence in her eyes.

The conviction. 

Absolutely no hesitation or doubt. 

She meant it. 

The only thing stopping Magda from leaning over and kissing her there and then, is class. 

Standards.

Pernille deserves only the best. 

In a weird way, now that Magda is certain they'll get together in the near future, she's even more willing to wait. 

She wants their first kiss to be perfect. 

She refuses to be impulsive. 

So they'll continue their game of romance Jenga.

Each making increasingly risky moves in the hope of making the other responsible for the eventual fall.

How many moves can you make before it all comes crashing down?

Magda plans to find out soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to keep it light-hearted and cute. It's been so long since I wrote ch9 I feel like maybe I lost my touch a little. Who knows
> 
> I just hope you enjoyed it x
> 
> Lemme know what you think!
> 
> Sorry for any typos and mistakes, it was 3am when I edited it. I'll proofread in the morning when I'm sane again.
> 
> Ch11 will be a big one ;)


	11. A Moment To Be Brave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The HIGHLY ANTICIPATED CH11.
> 
> Ch10 feedback was incredible, thanks for all the comments and interactions on tumblr (@cupidwriter), hearing what you guys think is my favourite part of this!
> 
> Really really appreciate the support, it got me through it!
> 
> Sorry it took so long, but I think it'll be worth the wait!
> 
> x

She finds it hard to choose.

Rails and rails of gorgeous dresses, but Pernille is still empty-handed.

Spoiled for choice, she can't pick just one. The abundance of options is overwhelming.

Luckily for her, she brought reinforcements.

"How do you feel about pink?" Frido asks, pulling a floor-length gown off the rail.

One glance at the plunging neckline and Pernille dismisses it with a shake of her head.

That's the fourth overly sexy dress in a row that Frido has suggested. 

"Too much skin. It's a charity gala after all, I want it to be respectful."

Nodding, she reluctantly resigns herself to more conservative suggestions. 

Frido shops the same way Pernille does.

That's not a good thing. 

Aimlessly wandering around and half-heartedly examining dresses, they've already wasted thirty minutes with nothing to show for it.

They only have another half hour before they need to leave for training. Pernille would almost be stressed, but her secret weapon comes to the rescue. 

Magda, being Magda, had a plan. 

She split from them at the very beginning. Making her way to the back corner of the shop and methodically progressing through rail after rail. 

They encounter her a few times on their own random routes, but she simply continues with her strategy, clinically evaluating every dress. 

By the time she finds her way back to them forty minutes since they entered the shop, she's wielding an arm full of dresses. 

"I narrowed it down to these seven. I think you'll like them," she gestures to the pile, scanning over them and nodding, satisfied with her own thoroughness.

Pernille doesn't even have time to tell her how sweet that is. They've twenty minutes left, she needs to start trying things on and fast. 

Since it's still early morning, they have the fitting rooms to themselves. Magda and Frido take a seat on the plush couch, banishing Pernille to the nearest cubicle to start testing options. 

She always finds it weird trying on fancy clothes with no hair or makeup done. Especially in the well-lit mirrors of the changing room, it's never great for your self-confidence.

Still, it's nice to change out of her tracksuit for a while. 

The first dress slips on overhead quite easily.

It's white. Flowy. Examining her reflection, it actually compliments her figure nicely. She wants something safe and classy for the gala, but this might just be a little too... Innocent, for her liking. 

When she pulls back the curtain to get the girls' opinions, she's surprised to see Magda all alone.

"Where's Frido?" 

"The cafe next door. She decided very suddenly she needed coffee," the eye roll tells Pernille she's not surprised Frido ditched them yet again.

Pernille knows why, she's pretty sure Magda knows too, but neither are going to acknowledge the motive. That would ruin the game. 

"She better get us something too." 

Magda nods her agreement. 

There's a beat of silence where they just look at each other.

And another one. 

... And another one. 

"Well?" 

"Well, what?" 

Pernille gives her an extra second to see if she catches on. 

She doesn't. 

"How do I look?" 

The realization washes over Magda like a bucket of water. She visibly flinches into concentration, scrambling to give her reaction. 

"Oh! Right! You look great! Like a princess," she scans up and down the outfit, meeting Pernille's eyes to eagerly nod her approval. 

Hmm...

Too easy. 

Not the wow factor Pernille was hoping for. 

That rules this one out.

The next three earn approximately the same reaction. 

Magda likes it. Praises it. Compliments her. 

Pernille believes her, but considering their situation, she's looking for something a little more... Jaw-dropping. 

Magda's suggestions have been spot on so far. They're all dresses Pernille likes. If it was any other occasion, she'd happily wear any of them. 

But this is different. 

This is the gala. 

This is where she needs to literally tempt Magda into making a move. 

They've been dancing around each other for weeks now.

It's happening. 

Pernille just doesn't know when. 

She sees the effect she can have on Magda. Every touch, every look. It's powerful.

Pernille would kiss her on sight if she had that kind of confidence. But this is still new to her. Both the part about it being a girl, and being a best friend. Uncharted territory. And as sure as she is about her feelings for Magda, the uncertainty around expressing them in this dynamic continues to hold her back.

But it shouldn't be a problem. 

Magda is the one with the experience. 

She's entirely confident in herself when flirting with Pernille. She knows what she's doing. 

But the problem is... She still hasn't actually 'done' it.

Every time Pernille thinks she's about to finally make the decisive move, Magda instead pulls back and gives her space.

At first, Pernille thought maybe Magda was having doubts. Maybe she wasn't sure she liked her, maybe that's why she was hesitating, for fear of rejection.

It became increasingly confusing as Magda's intensified flirting resulted in the same hesitation whenever things reached the boiling point. A calm step back, always with that same knowing smile. 

But the more Pernille analysed it, the clearer it became. She knows Magda now. She understands how she thinks. 

It's not that she's unsure, it's that she wants Pernille to be sure. 

That's why every time she looks like she's about to make the move Pernille so desperately wants, she resists.

Pernille's plan to fix that? 

Make herself irresistible. 

The gala is her best chance of looking stunning and hopefully, if she plays her cards right, finally breaking the deadlock. 

And that starts with finding the perfect dress. 

Option number five gets off to a promising start. 

It's silver. A shimmering fabric that catches the light. 

It's a rather tight-fitting dress. On an athlete's physique like hers, it actually works. 

There's a high enough neckline to be considered respectful. 

It comes to her lower thigh, definitely long enough to be suitable for this kind of formal occasion, yet still showcasing her legs enough to hopefully distract a certain person. 

The only problem? 

The zip. 

She can't close it. 

The snug nature of the fit makes it impossible for her to zip it on her own. 

Try as she might, it's pointless.

This can't be happening. 

She closes her eyes and takes a calming deep breath.

Judging by how things have gone between them the last couple of weeks, namely that fucking bruises incident, this won't be easy. 

She steels herself for what's coming and tries to gather all the self-restraint she can.

She peeks her head out beside the curtain. 

"Magda? Will you help me with this please?" 

She ducks back in and waits, heart already hammering as she hears the footsteps approach.

And then, all of a sudden, Magda's right there. 

In her personal space. 

Invaliding her senses. 

Hidden from the world. 

She's being a gentleman as always. Presumably unsure what state of undress to expect, she's holding deliberate eye contact with the ceiling in an effort not to intrude by looking elsewhere. 

Once she realises Pernille is relatively dressed, she instantly relaxes and drops her guard. 

"Help with what?" 

"The zip," Pernille spins slowly, offering her exposed back. 

The best thing about this position, is she can watch Magda's reflection in the mirror. 

The way her eyes widen as they scan down the length of skin on show.

Her hands are hovering in mid-air, unsure how to proceed just yet. 

Her throat visibly bobs. 

It inflates Pernille's confidence yet again. 

She always feels adrenaline when she has this effect on Magda. 

She loves it. 

She feels Magda's fingers brush the hem of the fabric on each side, pinching the material together in one hand before slowly sliding the zip upwards.

Her warm breath is hitting the exposed skin between Pernille's shoulder blades. 

There's a ridiculous tension in the silence of the changing room, filled with nothing but the sound of the zip being dragged up. 

She's burning a hole in the side of Magda's face through the mirror.

Just as Pernille is anticipating the relief of it being over, Magda stops halfway.

There's a nostalgic look on her face as she smiles at a spot on Pernille's back. 

"You still have a tan line from Thailand," is the criminally innocent comment, as she traces across the bikini tan line with an agonisingly light fingertip. 

Is she for fucking real? 

This is it.

This is where Pernille cracks. 

After everything they've been through, a random changing room at 10 am on a Monday is where she's finally going to do it.

Here it goes.

C'mon Pernille, end the suffering. 

Kiss her. 

On the count of three. 

One... 

Two...

She catches Magda's eye in the reflection just as she's about to turn. 

She looks surprised by the intensity that Pernille can feel in her own stare. 

Without breaking the charged gaze, she blindly pulls the zip up the rest of the way and ever so slightly steps back. 

She's looking at the ground and clearing her throat, very intentionally diffusing the situation and giving Pernille time to recover. 

Which she does. 

As well as she can. 

For someone who was about to jump her best friend at 10 am on a Monday. 

Deep breath. 

Another one. 

OK. 

She's OK. 

She can control herself. 

As long as Magda starts keeping her fucking hands to herself that is. 

In her defence, it looks like she didn't even mean it that time. Judging by her features scanning Pernille's, she looks a bit bewildered by just how close that was. 

Obviously, this isn't the grand finale for them she had imagined either. 

There's an understanding in her voice when she asks "Are you OK?"

Far from it, but Pernille is a trooper. 

"Great." 

She takes another deep breath. 

Focus. 

Survive this. 

"How does it look?" 

For the first time, Magda truly takes it in. 

Looking over Pernille's shoulder into the mirror, Pernille blushes at the way Magda's eyes slowly drag themselves top to bottom. 

There's... Let's call it an appreciation, there. 

Now that the dress is closed, Pernille has to admit it showcases her muscles fantastically. 

Biceps exposed at the arms, material pulled tight across her abs and waist. 

Magda still hasn't said anything.

She's still staring. 

Bingo. 

Definitely a jaw-dropping dress.

Pernille finds it marginally funny that Magda picked it out. The architect of her own downfall. You love to see it. 

"Stunning," is the eventual confession. 

The lack of words speaks for itself.

We have a winner. 

Just as Pernille is getting cocky once again about the power she has over Magda, she makes a mistake. 

She lets Magda see it. 

The smirk taking over her entire face is enough to break Magda out of her trance. 

Eyes narrow. 

She knows Pernille is teasing her.

And there's no way in hell she's going to let her win. 

"Do you need me to unzip it too?" 

She plays up the rasp in her voice for effect. 

Pernille's better judgement screams no. 

But practically... Yes, she needs help getting out of it. 

There's no escape here. 

"Yes please," she says it normally, avoiding any and all insinuations. 

This time she's the one backtracking. 

She's the one scrambling for safe ground in a situation where freefall is one pair of lips away. 

It must take some creative technique in her grip, but Magda somehow manages to slide a finger inside the zip, that allows it to be dragged along Pernille's spine as she unzips the dress. 

Shameless. 

Some more calming deep breaths from Pernille. This time with her eyes closed. 

When it's over and she opens them, she tries to dismiss Magda immediately. 

"Thanks." 

"Anytime." 

The wink and quick squeeze of Pernille's hips before she ducks out behind the curtain leaves no room for misinterpretation of that offer. 

Nor does the offhanded comment as they're making their way to the checkout. 

"I'm glad you choose that one. It goes well with black." 

Magda's avoiding her eyes, staring at the dress in her hands and nodding approval. 

When she offers no further elaboration, Pernille is confused. 

"Why does it have to go well with black?" 

Magda leaves it a beat. 

"Gotta make sure I match my date." 

Well you smooth little bitch. 

"Your date?" Pernille repeats, surprised but struggling to keep the delighted smile off her face. 

Magda looks her in the eye this time, smirk intact. 

"My date."

The conviction in her voice leaves no room for discussion. 

She's Magda's date.

Simple as that. 

Saturday can't come quick enough. 

Talk of the gala dominates training all week. 

The closer they edge towards the weekend, the more Pernille's excitement begins to melt into nerves. 

For the most part, she and Magda seem to have come to an understanding. 

A truce, of sorts. 

The flirting continues, but they've drawn boundaries on just how far they take it. 

It's a strange feeling, to know they have a formal date planned. 

Everything between them had been so natural. Instinctual. Spontaneous. 

To have a structured plan of when they would be going on a date, and presumably flirting, makes it all very official. 

They're happening.

Finally. 

Pernille can't wait. 

To cope, she focuses on training more than ever.

It's a good solid week of work. 

Grueling but exactly the type of challenge she can sink her teeth into. 

Satisfying. 

They're back in the gym with the team, but continue to build momentum in their individual pitch sessions for sharpness and cardio. They're well on course for the long-awaited return to full team training next week. 

Schedule wise, it's a condensed week. There's no league match this weekend so they've Saturday afternoon and Sunday off. 

Strategically planned by the club to accommodate the gala.

Everything's falling into place. 

By the time they get through their Saturday morning sessions, attention immediately turns to preparations for the big event. 

Never ones to rush, Pernille heads back to Magda's for lunch first.

They've agreed to get ready separately. 

It may be a gala but they're still on a budget. They decided to do their own hair and makeup. Because of that, it makes more sense to just get ready at their own apartments, no point in hauling makeup bags and hair curlers to each other's houses. 

Besides, Pernille likes the idea of it. The getting ready separately. 

They spend so much of their time together, to have this little break adds significance to the time they're going to spend together later that night. 

Plus, Magda's old fashioned. She likes to do things properly. Like insisting she'll be picking Pernille up and driving her to the hotel. She considers these things non-negotiable.

It's a very strange tension over lunch. Not bad, not at all. 

But more so... Charged. 

There's a sense of anticipation floating between them. 

Like how they never explicitly mention they're each others dates, nor what that entails, but instead tiptoe around how much they're looking forward to the evening and discussing logistics. 

Still, Pernille takes comfort in the familiarity of their interactions. The warmth of the conversation. Magda's laugh. 

After lunch, they decide to paint their nails. 

Well, Magda asks Pernille to help her pick a colour. 

Scanning the options, it's not a hard decision. 

She picks the silver nail polish off the table and hands it to Magda with a knowing smile.

"You know the rules," it's a borderline acknowledgement, echoing Magda's policy of making sure she matches her date. 

Magda doubles down on her statement by handing Pernille the black polish.

Pernille is halfway through painting them when she remembers her weakness. She can't paint her right hand.

Her left hand has always been a liability when it comes to steadiness. 

It's usually emphasised by Magda's left-handedness, and how she's also annoyingly competent with her right.

Pernille isn't as talented.

One hand is perfect, but the first nail she tries to paint on her right is a disaster. 

Messy. 

She doesn't even realize Magda's already finished her own flawless application and is now watching on in horror as Pernille smears an attempt at the second nail. 

The perfectionist in her jumps out, intervening before it gets any worse. 

"Stop, stop. I'll do it for you. Your left hand is too shaky."

She uses the remover to wipe the offending nails clean, before gently taking Pernille's hand, pulling it closer to herself and propping it up with her own. 

Pernille watches on in silence as Magda makes quick work of the task. 

The way Magda's thumb intermittently strokes Pernille's hand while she's painting doesn't go unnoticed. 

It's a small gesture, perhaps even subconscious, but it's a sweet one.

Once the nails have dried and Pernille says her goodbyes, she has one thought on the drive home. 

Was that the last time they see each other as friends? 

She hopes so. 

Once she's alone and starts getting ready, the nerves begin to build. 

She blasts her Spotify workout playlist in an attempt to cloud her thoughts. 

She almost burns herself three times with the hair curler. It's been a while since she used it, so her technique isn't what it used to be. She decides to go for loose curls. Keeping the length overall, but adding soft curls to the silky blonde.

With her light hair, the style really works. 

She's happy with it. 

The process of putting on her makeup is actually rather therapeutic. It's good to keep her hands busy and have something to focus on. 

Because it's a formal event, she pulls out a smokey eye and generous amount of contour. But she resists the temptation to make her eyeliner winged, knowing it'll probably go wrong and fluster her further. 

By keeping herself busy, the time flies. 

But for once in her life, things go smoothly. 

She ends up being ready twenty minutes early. 

She even manages to get the dress zipped up, with the creative use of a metal hanger and a lot of patience. 

With the final touches of jewellery, shoes, and her new perfume, she's as ready as she'll ever be. 

All there's left to do is wait. 

So she does. 

She sits on the couch in silence and thinks about things. 

Magda, mostly. 

Tonight. What it means. What she hopes will happen. How things might play out. The nerves. The excitement. Everything that's led her to this point.

Their story. The journey. The feelings. 

All of it leads her to one conclusion. 

She's ready. 

She wants this. 

She's sure. 

Until the doorbell rings right on time, and suddenly, she's never been as unsure in her entire life. 

Pernille would be lying if she said she wasn't terrified.

It's happening. 

Here it goes. 

Deep breath. 

She pulls open the door. 

And everything stops. 

There's Magda. 

Smiling. 

Looking the most gorgeous Pernille has ever seen her.

Holding a single rose. 

And it's everything Pernille could have ever wanted. 

It's surreal.

She just stares. 

"Hi," is the soft greeting Magda chooses to start the night with.

She's nervous.

Pernille just manages a distracted "Hey." 

"You look beautiful," Magda shakes her head almost in disbelief as she says it, brow furrowed and eyes earnest, as if she can't quite convey just how much she means it. 

It's the rawness of her sincerity that brings Pernille back to her senses. 

"You look very gorgeous."

Well, not fully back to her senses. 

Hardly her most eloquent compliment. 

That's not even a proper sentence. Well done Pernille, killing this so far. 

The blush is in embarrassment this time. 

But Magda giggles. 

"Very gorgeous? Is that a new one?" 

She's teasing. 

And just like that, the tension is broken.

Everything is okay again.

They're back to themselves. 

"Shut up," Pernille mutters, looking at the rose in Magda's hand. 

Magda follows her line of sight. 

"Oh, this is for you," and she starts to lean in. 

Woahhhhhhhhhhh there. 

Wait. 

What? 

She's going for it now? 

Pernille had imagined a thousand scenarios of how this would happen, but on her doorstep at 6 pm was not one of them. 

She stands frozen. 

As Magda kisses...

Her cheek. 

She kisses her cheek. 

And hands her the rose. 

And Pernille can breathe again. 

God that was unexpected. 

"Thanks," is all she can say, just about managing to hold polite eye contact. 

She walks into the house and Magda instinctively follows her.

In the well-lit kitchen, Pernille can fully evaluate just how stunning Magda looks. She's always pretty. But with the flattering makeup, hair curled and pinned to one side, along with the beautifully cut silk black dress, she looks straight off the catwalks of Paris.

A different league.

Pernille pops the rose in a small vase of water and grabs her coat. 

As they approach the car, Magda makes her intentions clear. 

Despite the thousand times Pernille had been in the car, this time, Magda opens her door for her. 

She offers a shy smile of thanks. 

She's not used to this kind of attention. 

It's obvious that tonight is going to be different. 

Yet for the car ride, things stay the same. 

Pernille controls the radio. 

They talk as easily as they normally would. 

There's probably a few more smiles on show than usual, but overall, they're comfortable with one another, and it shows in their effortless conversation and laughter. 

By the time they reach the hotel and park underground, Pernille is calm. 

There's nothing to worry about. 

It's just Magda. 

Her Magda. 

Her best friend. 

Her favourite person in the whole wide world. 

She's all of those things. 

And now she's her date too. 

Once she relaxes and stops trying too hard, Pernille finds herself fully back at ease in Magda's company. 

They navigate the mini red carpet easily, posing for a couple of photographers and getting in on some group pictures with other teammates. 

This is the promo part of the night. The photos with the branded backdrop. 

Pernille gets asked by the club media manager to give a quick interview. It doesn't take long, she says all the right things about what a great cause it is, what an honour it is to be in attendance, and thanking the club for supporting the charity. 

Magda waits patiently a few feet away, nodding along to everything Pernille says. 

She's really nailing this whole 'supportive date' thing. 

Once they get inside the ballroom, they finally spot her. 

There she is. 

Frido. 

With one of the most attractive men Pernille has seen in a while. 

Where did she produce him out of? 

The girls share a look and it's unspoken that they make their way over to start the enquiry. 

Magda leads the exchange. 

"Frido, you look lovely. And who might this be? I don't believe we've met." 

If you didn't know Magda, the tone of voice wouldn't raise suspicion. 

But to Pernille, the message was loud and clear. 

'Who the fuck is this and why haven't we heard about him.' 

Frido takes the bait with narrowed eyes, a warning not to embarrass her.

"Oh, this is Tom, my date."

He reaches out a hand and Magda takes it very formally. No doubt squeezing it harder than necessary. 

"A pleasure Tom, I'm Magda, Frido's friend and teammate."

While it's happening, Frido leans close enough to whisper in Pernille's ear.

"I'll kill you," with a very forced smile. 

Awww she likes him! She's nervous. 

"And I'm Pernille. Also Frido's friend and teammate. She's told me so much about you!"

She looks at Frido as she lies, shaking Tom's hand. 

He beams at that untrue revelation, while Frido forces yet another smile.

"We'll talk to you guys later," before promptly steering him away to safety.

But not before she manages a very suspicious look between the two of them and how close they're standing.

She gives the 'I'm watching you' gesture in a weak comeback for what she just endured. 

Both Pernille and Magda burst out laughing the second they're out of earshot.

Partners in crime.

They enjoy it a little too much. 

After that, things are pretty uneventful.

They do get some really nice pictures together. 

The gala itself is great. The decor, the food, the way it's being run. Everything is very professional. 

As for the company, Pernille is noticing that a date with Magda... Is very much what they've been doing before this.

Not in a bad way, at all. 

With the exception of grand gestures, like Magda pulling out Pernille's chair, the intimacy with which they already interact leaves little room for any drastic improvement. 

Especially in front of a table of teammates.

While they're on a date, no one else is aware of that fact. Not even Frido. 

Considering how close they are anyway, it's probably easy to overlook it.

They always move so carelessly inside each other's personal space, tonight just ends up being no different.

She might be imagining it, but she catches a few stares when Magda pours her water for her, or puts her arm on the back of her chair, or even when Pernille grabs her shoulder laughing at something with the group. 

The most obvious one is when she feels the table shake with, presumably a kick, after their faces get a little too close during a conversation. 

She scans and surely enough finds Frido, Jennie, and the goalkeeper guiltily looking away.

Maybe she's paranoid.

It's probably the overthinking creeping in again. 

She focuses on Magda instead. 

The happiness of being on an official date with her eclipses everything else.

And how completely effortless and natural it is. 

Pernille wonders how long they've unofficially been dating for. 

Genuinely. 

There's nothing she can do now that she wouldn't normally do. 

Except kissing her. 

That's really all they've been missing. 

The gala basically just ends up being them hanging out and enjoying each other's presence, with the aesthetic difference of fancy attire.

After dinner, a dance floor is cleared. The DJ kicks off, the disco lights come on, but it's more so a soundtrack for socialising. 

It's not the partying kind of event. Well, not for the team anyway. Being mid-season means no more than a couple of casual drinks, and no one is brave enough to hit the floor sober. 

Pernille is also aware that they look very much like a couple. 

The way they navigate groups, slipping in and out of conversation circles together. 

The fact that Magda's hand ends up on her back, gently guiding, at every single opportunity. 

When Pernille is left alone, it's because Magda insists on buying her a drink. 

Tom decides to do the same for Frido, leaving her to keep Pernille company. 

Pernille uses the opportunity to grill her some more about the mystery man and listens to the vague details Frido is careful to offer. 

While she's listening, she scans her surroundings, just taking it all in. The lighting is fabulous. 

But of course, as always, her eyes land on Magda across the room. 

Leaning on the bar, laughing easily with Tom.

She wonders what they're talking about. 

When their drinks are served, she's surprised to see Tom offer his glass to Magda in cheers, with a nod towards where the girls are standing. 

Magda's smile as she clinks them is incredibly bashful. 

Before her eyes immediately shift straight to Pernille.

They stare like that for a few moments, exchanging small smiles, with neither willing to look away. 

Frido's cough interrupts the moment. 

Noticing she'd lost Pernille's attention, she followed her eye line to see what she was looking at. 

The smirk on her face says it all. 

Pernille hopes the makeup and lighting cover the blush. 

"So..." she starts off coyly, watching Pernille for her reaction. 

"Are we going to talk about that... Or?" 

The eyebrow raise and nonchalance in her voice says she's teasing. 

Pernille doesn't know what to say.

So she chooses something vague. 

"Not yet." 

"No? OK... Soon though?" 

When she thinks about it, Pernille can't keep the smile off her face any longer. 

She just nods. 

Which causes Frido to break into a delighted smile. 

She throws a wink and a little shoulder shimmy, elbowing Pernille in the arm. 

"Ooooh go P."

Pernille is mortified. 

She's shaking her head refusing to look at Frido when Magda returns and hands her a cocktail.

She registers Pernille's confusion, explaining before she's asked. 

"It's non-alcoholic. But it's still a little more exciting than water," she pulls a funny face as she takes a sip, and Pernille wonders how even the smallest things Magda does makes her laugh. 

She's just happy Frido has stopped harassing her. 

After that, it's just more socialising.

Later in the night, Pernille gets a call from her grandpa. 

She decides to take it. He always worries if he can't reach her. 

Magda understands immediately, offering to hold her purse while she's gone. 

God, she's such a gentleman. 

Knowing her grandpa, she'll need to find a quiet place to talk. His hearing isn't very good. 

She answers and briskly walks out of the ballroom and into the quieter lobby. But there are still a few people around, so she continues walking and ends up sitting on a bench in the huge garden at the back of the hotel. 

They chat for a few minutes. She's patient, repeating herself anytime he can't hear something correctly. She'd normally raise her voice more to make things easier, but that probably wouldn't be polite at an event like this. 

After about ten minutes, she regretfully explains where she is and that she can call him tomorrow if he'd like to talk for longer.

He of course understands, urging her to get back to the party. 

Just as she ends the call Magda appears on the bench beside her. 

"There you are. They want to take a team picture before people start to leave, so they sent me to find you. Well, Frido sent me to find you. She seems to be in a hurry." 

Magda isn't really looking at her, instead taking in the beautiful strings of lights in the garden, twinkling under the late-night sky. 

The glow of the lights across her face. 

Catching the shine in her eyes. 

Sharpening the shadows of her bone structure. 

The carefree way she admires the scenery. 

Pernille continues to be amazed by just how much she likes her. 

Even sitting here, alone in a garden, Pernille has butterflies. 

Just being near her. 

It's her favourite feeling in the world. 

... She's going to do something about it. 

She continues to stare at the side of her face. 

Until finally Magda looks over and seems surprised to find Pernille already looking at her. 

It's quiet enough that Pernille can hear her heart beating rapidly in her ears. 

The goosebumps appear in anticipation. 

Magda understands. 

She's staring back. 

Her eyes are the softest Pernille has ever seen them. 

Shoulder to shoulder, with their heads facing each other, they're already close. 

She drops her eyes to Magda's lips.

The pull is fierce.

Every cell in her body is screaming at her to lean in. 

It's all she wants to do. 

So she does. 

Slowly. 

Just as her eyes are about to close, she sees it. 

Magda pulls away.

Just a fraction, but it's enough.

Her soul turns to ice. 

She feels empty inside. 

Her stomach is sick. 

The tightness in her chest is suffocating. 

This rejection stings worse than any injury she's ever had. 

She can't even look at Magda. 

She just squeezes her eyes shut in embarrassment and turns her head away from her.

She was wrong. 

She misread things. 

After everything, to have it end like this is devastating. 

She thinks she might cry. 

All of this flashes through her mind the instant Magda pulled away fractionally. 

Just as the tears consider making an appearance, she feels Magda's hand on her cheek, tilting it back. 

"Hey, no, it's alright. Hey, look at me," her voice is soft but urgent. 

Pernille opens her eyes to find Magda's pleading with her. 

"I know," she nods, trying hard to convey her desperation. 

"I know. Listen to me... our manager is smoking about ten feet behind you. He's hasn't seen us yet but I saw him on the way in," she whispers the explanation. 

Pernille's eyes widen. 

She understands. 

Magda wasn't rejecting her. 

She was saving her from an awkward conversation. 

She was protecting their moment. 

Magda's a perfectionist, there's no way she'd allow a scandal like their manager gatecrashing their first kiss.

She cares too much. 

Pernille goes on a roller-coaster of emotions at that moment. 

Instead of the initial pain and rejection, she now feels an intensified excitement. 

Magda knows. 

She knows what was going to happen, and she only stopped it because it wasn't the right time.

But she still wants it. 

The desperation in her pleading with Pernille makes that clear. 

Pernille nods, to let her know they're on the same page. 

Magda makes sure. 

Hands-on both sides of her face, she double checks. 

"OK?" 

Pernille nods again. 

And Magda exhales a visible sigh of relief, her shoulders dropping with it. 

Nodding, she resets and smoothes out her features. She grabs Pernille's hand and leads her back inside. 

They act like nothing happened between them. 

Well... Because it didn't. 

Everything's fine.

But as the night wears on, Pernille becomes aware of something. 

She's running out of time. 

As the date unfolds, there are not many moments where they're alone. 

The elevator to the hotel car park is the only time.

And she's not going to kiss her there. That'd be awkward. 

She's fast running out of options. She desperately tries brainstorming on the car ride home, but she's losing hope fast. 

She starts to resign herself to nothing happening tonight. 

They've taken a big step in going on an official date, she'll just need to be patient and hold it together until they go on another one. 

It'll be torture. 

But then comes the lifeline. 

Cupid herself Ms Frido Rolfo with the plot twist. 

A text to Pernille asking if Magda can stay at hers tonight, Frido would like the apartment to herself. 

There's no mention of Tom but there doesn't need to be. 

Magda gets the hint. 

Pernille takes it as a sign. 

She decides there and then she's not going to let the opportunity slip. 

She spends the rest of the car journey psyching herself up. 

Trying to find the right words. 

But more importantly, trying to find the courage. 

She needs to do this.

She's a bundle of nerves unlocking the door, in stark contrast to Magda's relaxed stroll back to the familiarity of the apartment.

Pernille needs to do it now. 

Because if she doesn't, it'll eat her alive until she does. 

She gathers all the bravery she possibly can. 

It doesn't feel like much, but it'll have to be enough. 

She locks the door and stops, standing against the wall beside it, needing something to ground her. 

This is it. 

Here we go. 

"Magda, I need to tell you something," her voice shakes on the name but she steadies it. 

Magda, still obliviously unwrapping her scarf and unbuttoning her jacket in the hall, stops and turns. 

Her face is pure, with the smile she always has for Pernille. 

She's listening attentively. 

Pernille's heart is absolutely hammering.

It's the most nervous she's ever been in her life. 

Now or never. 

Time to be brave. 

She closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath.

Fuck it. 

"I think I have feelings for you." 

There. 

She said it.

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

She actually said it. 

Understatement of the year but it leaves room for denial.

Just in case things go wrong. 

Her voice was soft as she said it. Quiet. Almost afraid to make the admission aloud. 

Being honest and making yourself vulnerable is terrifying.

Especially considering she just put her friendship with Magda on the line. 

She's holding her breath, braced for the reaction. 

There's no turning back now. 

All or nothing.

"You... think?" 

Magda's voice is delicate. Disbelief etched somewhere into the raspiness. 

Pernille opens her eyes and nods, not trusting words.

There's a moment of pure silence. 

They stare at each other, Magda's face remaining blank, before eventually, she seems to process the information. 

A small smile starts to break across her face.

"I have feelings for you too," she admits very shyly. 

Pernille lets out the breath she's been holding since she realized she liked Magda all those weeks ago. 

She likes her back.

SHE FUCKING LIKES HER BACK. 

It seems too good to be true.

She has to make sure. 

"Really?" 

Magda nods, with another shy smile. 

She looks nervous too. 

So Pernille knows she's telling the truth. 

FUCK YES. 

YES.

THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME.

They're smiling widely at each other now. 

Beaming.

Grins of complete and utter happiness. 

Both on cloud nine that their wildest dreams have just come true. 

Magda walks towards her slowly, smile fading into something more serious as she gets closer. 

Pernille's pulse races yet again as Magda approaches. 

She stops right in front of her. 

Magda's soft breath is hitting her face. 

Staring into her eyes from only inches away. 

Her gaze is intense.

"I think you should check," she whispers it quietly. 

Pernille's not sure she follows. Still reeling from the revelation that their feelings are mutual, her brain is slow to process. 

"Check?" 

She asks it innocently. 

Magda nods, eyes dropping under hooded lids to stare at Pernille's lips.

She pauses a second.

Ever so slowly, she leans in and kisses her cheek, just missing the corner of her mouth.

She pulls back far enough to meet Pernille's eyes.

They're sincere. 

And then Pernille understands.

It's an invitation.

Because she said she 'thinks' she has feelings for her.

Magda wants her to be sure. 

Pernille's call. 

It's there for the taking.

There's no hesitation.

This is the moment. 

She kisses her.

And it's everything. 

She closes her eyes just before she closes the distance.

The second their lips touch she just lets instinct take over.

Fuck.

Wow.

Fuck wow. 

She could never have imagined the happiness. 

The pleasure. 

The satisfaction. 

The relief and adrenaline. 

It feels like fire on her skin. 

Butterflies engulfing her entire body. 

This is heaven. 

Her lips are on Magda's for a good ten seconds before her brain catches up.

How sweet she tastes. 

Her strawberry lip gloss. 

How soft her lips feel. 

How smooth her cheeks are under Pernille's hands.

The intoxicating smell of her perfume up close. 

The anchoring way she's holding Pernille by the waist. 

No matter how much Pernille anticipated it, nothing could have prepared her for how amazing this feels. 

She can't stop. 

It's addicting. 

It's the best first kiss she's has ever had. 

But... 

Something's not right. 

Once she calms down enough to start enjoying the kiss and savouring the moment properly, she senses it. 

Magda is steady. Solid. She's absorbing all of Pernille's eagerness and responding, but it's restrained. 

She's holding back. 

After months waiting for this, Pernille's going to need a little more enthusiasm.

She pulls away from her lips long enough to mumble "What's wrong?" before giving in to the temptation and recapturing them immediately. 

She pulls away again, just far enough to let her answer. 

"I want to make sure you're comfortable, I know this can all be overwhelming-"

Here we fucking go again.

Magda trying to be polite. 

That is the very opposite of what Pernille wants right now. 

Fuck that. 

"Kiss me. Properly."

"I just think we should talk about-" 

"I fucking dare you," her voice captures the unmistakable need.

There's only one way to make Magda do something. Make it a competition.

It shatters the last of Magda's resolve.

Pernille has never seen her eyes look so dark. 

Wild.

If she thought the first kiss was amazing, mind-blowing would be the only way to describe this one. 

Pernille wasn't ready for what she asked for. 

Magda lets go. 

The passion. The intensity. 

The technique. 

Of fucking course, she's a master at this too.

She must pull out every trick in the book, switching rhythm and approaches until Pernille is dizzy. 

When she finally pulls away for air, and removes her hands from where they're tangled deep in Pernille's hair, the look on Magda's face is something she'll never forget. 

Pure bliss. Joy. 

She's ecstatic. 

Yet holding intimate eye contact and looking at Pernille like she's the most precious fucking thing in the world.

Pernille is sure she's looking at her with something similar.

It's wide-eyed adoration. 

And it sets Pernille's soul on fire. 

The adrenaline still coursing through her veins, they catch their breath with their foreheads pressed together. 

Magda has her arms wrapped around Pernille's waist, holding her close. 

They both just revel in the moment. 

The afterglow of the fireworks.

When they eventually pull away enough to look at each other properly, the dazed giggles and stupidly wide smiles say it all.

They finally happened. 

God was it worth the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well?
> 
> Let me know ALL of your thoughts please.
> 
> I hope people are happy with it.
> 
> Had to tone down the kiss scene a few times. Turns out it's very hard to write it as respectfully as I'd like. Hope I did an ok job, I know I kinda limited details and description but it just felt weird to write it in-depth, cause you know, fictional characters but real people. 
> 
> So yeah, hopefully even though it was major PG, it lived up to expectations.
> 
> SORRY for typos I'll proofread in the morning.
> 
> +PSA: this is not the end of the fic, I'll be adding a few more chapter :)


	12. So Worth The Wait, It's Worth Its Weight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys BLEW me away with the response to CH11. SO THRILLED IT WAS A MASSIVE SUCCESS.
> 
> Thanks so much for the support as always (especially on tumblr @cupidwriter!). 
> 
> Comments, Kudos, 10,000 hits!?!? Crazy stuff. 
> 
> Hope everyone had a great holidays, happy new year, and all the best for 2020!
> 
> Sorry it took a while, made it extra long to make up for it.
> 
> Enjoy x

She's even prettier up close.

As Magda slowly blinks the morning into focus, her eyes could only ever land on one thing. 

In the soft light, she stares.

At the halo of blonde nestled into the cradle of her arm. 

Stretching her neck ever so slightly, she catches a glimpse of her peaceful face. 

Pernille. 

Sleeping soundly.

Cuddled as close to Magda as she possibly could be.

The tangle of bare legs beneath the covers.

The weight of her head resting on Magda's shoulder.

None of that comes close to how her hands have somehow made their way under Magda's borrowed tee-shirt, hugging her around the stomach.

The heat of exposed arms along her torso is a soothing sensation. 

She feels so close to her. 

Keeping her body still, she takes an extra slow deep breath to really feel the full pressure of Pernille's touch along her abdomen.

She almost giggles as Pernille's hands subconsciously tighten against the disturbance. 

She stirs somewhat, burrowing her head further into Magda's shoulder while tilting her cheek onto her collarbone in the process.

It gives Magda a better view. 

She still can't believe her luck.

She did it. 

She fucking did it.

A stupid smile breaks across her face while she stares up at the ceiling, trying to process this major win. 

Unable to help herself, she glances back down at Pernille's face almost immediately.

To check she's still there. 

To make sure this really happened. 

Despite the early hour, the butterflies quickly resurface.

Bringing with them the same overwhelming burst of happiness that only Pernille could create. 

Magda squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head in giddy disbelief. 

She wants to laugh.

She can't tell you the amount of times she fantasized about this moment.

Every day. 

Every look. 

Every touch. 

Every word. 

Magda hoped. 

Dreamed. 

And now, it's her reality. 

Staring at Pernille once more, a habit she can finally stop suppressing, she finds herself naturally drawn to her lips.

It's the first time she can admire them, with the added appreciation of knowing what they feel like.

Taste like. 

Her own begin to tingle at the memory, so she gives in. 

Closing her eyes, she allows her mind to sink back to the events from last night. 

She wants to memorise every detail. 

It's already something she knows she could never forget. 

Still, it's nice to reflect. 

It started with the nerves.

The strange frustration. 

With the way her hair was curling incorrectly. 

When she found the wrinkle in her dress. 

Redoing her eyeliner three times until it was perfectly even. 

Magda was on edge.

It manifested in small ways, but the overall message was there. 

Perfect. 

She needed it to be perfect. 

Because deep down, she knew there was a strong chance.

The way everything had unfolded. 

The changes in Pernille's behaviour in the lead-up. 

She was ready. 

She was on the brink.

The wait was almost over. 

All roads led to the gala.

Where Magda hoped the tension would finally break.

The excitement twisted her stomach as she knocked on Pernille's door.

Despite the slight shake in her hand as she gripped the rose in anticipation, she did her best to stay calm.

She was a calm person by nature.

Especially when she had a plan. 

All she had to do was stick to it.

Take it one step at a time. 

It allowed her to mentally remove the weight of expectation she could have placed on the night. 

She was by no means making assumptions. Assumptions were not facts. If she ended up incorrectly anticipating certain events, she wanted to avoid disappointment.

So she kept the plan pretty simple. 

Keep an open mind to the possibilities. Be an optimist. 

But follow Pernille's lead and keep expectations in check. Be logical. 

A logical optimist.

Magda's goal was to enjoy herself. 

And be the best date she possibly could be.

Anything else that happened was a wonderful bonus. 

The plan started with trying to put into words just how gorgeous Pernille looked when she opened the door. 

Wanting to make sure it was special, Magda marked the occasion with a few small romantic gestures. 

The rose. Opening the car door. 

Just to give Pernille a taste of what was inevitably in their near future. 

Judging by the dazzling smiles offered, Magda was doing a good job. 

The longer the date went on, the more they both settled into it.

Magda's plan worked like a charm, keeping her relaxed enough to be herself. 

So caught up in enjoying Pernille's presence as usual, there were moments she forgot they were actually on a date this time. 

She knew it was meant to be different.

But with a history like theirs, so much stayed the same.

They didn't have to try.

The closeness. The connection. The comfort in each other's presence. 

It was effortless. 

Until it wasn't. 

It took absolutely everything in Magda to pull away on the bench. 

It was the big moment. 

Her chance to finally kiss Pernille. 

Something she'd been fantasising about for months.

The voice in her head screaming at her to lean in. 

Magda wanted nothing more than to give in to her attraction. 

But she knew. 

She knew it'd be selfish. 

Even in a situation where her mind was blank with the way Pernille was looking at her, logic somehow crept in. 

Perfect. 

She needed perfect. 

Pernille deserved perfect. 

And that's not what she was about to get, with their coach lurking around the corner. 

He was a risk, a threat to their moment. 

Magda wasn't about to take any risks. 

Not when it comes to what she has with Pernille.

It was too special. 

So she pulled away, and felt her heart break at Pernille's unexpected reaction.

She misinterpreted. 

She thought Magda didn't like her back. 

She thought she didn't feel the same way. 

Magda will never forget the desperation in her own voice.

Her heart racing in fear.

Gut-wrenching panic. 

The lump rising in her throat as her pleading intensified. 

For the briefest moment, she thought she'd ruined it. 

Pernille had finally found the courage, and Magda pulled the rug out from under her.

At her most vulnerable, Magda had let her fall. 

Or so Pernille briefly thought. 

The moment when realisation dawned on her face was the most relief Magda had ever felt in her life. 

Her pulse was still pounding when Pernille offered the reassurance that she understood.

It was fine. 

They were fine. 

It took Magda a good half an hour to get her emotions back under control.

A scare like that rattles you. 

She filled the time with half-hearted socialising, all the while keeping a close eye on Pernille. 

She was relieved to find her acting normally. 

No signs of damage to their relationship following the earlier incident. 

Pernille didn't distance herself, in fact, she seemed to be positioning herself closer to Magda than ever.

Paying closer attention. Spending absolutely every moment possible with her. She was stuck by her side. 

Apparently, Magda acknowledging their inevitable kiss was enough for Pernille to overcome the brief scare of rejection.

Magda was thankful. 

She spent the remainder of the night at peace with the situation. 

Pernille had been about to kiss her. 

That was a fact. 

And even though it hadn't happened, Magda had never been more sure it would. 

The moment had passed, but the guarantee of it eventually happening meant Magda went home happy.

She lived to fight another day. 

Or well... Kiss... another day. 

It had been a great date regardless. 

She had enjoyed herself. 

Frido asking her to sleep at Pernille's wasn't an inconvenience. 

The opposite. 

She hadn't wanted the date to end, so any excuse to prolong it was something Magda welcomed. 

Pernille hadn't seemed to mind either.

Magda took it as a sign things were definitely OK between them. 

She'd underestimated just how 'OK' they were. 

In the end, it was maddeningly simple. 

All Pernille had to do was say it. 

Magda, surprised at the timing but not the outcome, was more than ready to tell Pernille how she felt about her. 

And in Magda giving Pernille the opportunity to check and make sure, she sealed the deal, 'properly', in very Pernille fashion.

A dare for Magda to let go. 

So she did. 

It was almost too easy. 

Natural. 

Inevitable. 

For someone who prides herself on eloquence, Magda doesn't have the words to describe the kiss. 

Life-changing is the only one that comes to mind, but even that seems like an injustice to the experience she shared with Pernille. 

If you want it in Magda's terms, it's probably best to look at it in her language. 

If having Pernille meant losing every game she ever played for the foreseeable future, she'd still chose Pernille. 

Fighting words from Magda but they're true. 

This is serious. 

The kiss reinforced that more than ever. 

As did the aftermath. 

A few more giggly kisses exchanged on site. 

The long embrace, that somehow meant more than words could have expressed in that tender moment. 

Pernille's dismissive eye-roll when Magda gallantly offered to take the couch. 

The tug of her hand leading her to the bedroom. 

Magda's initial reluctance at where it was headed so quickly. 

It felt too sacred to rush into.

Especially considering things from Pernille's perspective.

Magda wanted to make it special. 

It wasn't something she was willing to be that spontaneous about.

It felt too careless. 

She was classier than that. 

Pernille deserved better. 

Before she had to voice her concerns, her lack of motive was apparently very clear to Pernille. 

Noticing the intentional softness in Magda kisses, and the strategically conservative placement of her hands, Pernille got the message. 

Not yet.

The lack of fight made Magda think Pernille already knew that it wasn't something that should be happening off the back of a first kiss. 

The rather playful mutter of 'always such a gentleman' reassured her Pernille had the self-awareness to know it was for her own good. 

The subsequent kiss on the cheek seemed to be in appreciation of that. 

Throwing a tee-shirt and pyjama shorts at Magda, Pernille wandered into her bathroom to get changed into her own. 

Magda was just finished, when a fully clothed Pernille reappeared around the bathroom door. 

She was embarrassed. 

"Uh, I need you to unzip my dress."

Magda had to laugh.

Talk about full circle. 

Pulling down the zip with that signature stray finger, she gave in to the temptation and left a gentle kiss on the exposed shoulder in front of her. 

Because she could. 

So why not. 

The speed at which Pernille turned and kissed Magda took her by surprise. 

The intensity lasted a few seconds before she seemed to get it out of her system and pull away. 

"I wanted to do last time," still breathless after the kiss.

The dilated pupils were doing things to Magda so she eased the tension with a little sarcasm. 

"I can't imagine why..." as if she didn't flirt her socks off in that dressing room. 

"You're such a tease, get out."

Magda obliged, leaving her to get changed. 

They casually slipped into their usual routine for when Magda stayed over, teeth brushed and makeup washed off before climbing under the covers. 

She felt a new nervousness getting into bed with Pernille. 

She'd been there plenty of times before. 

Needless to say, this one was different.

For... obvious reasons. 

Still, despite everything, Magda was feeling a little braver. 

It took her a few seconds to stop overthinking, and realize she was actually allowed to touch Pernille now.

The wait was over. 

She didn't need to hold back anymore. 

So she took the liberty of kissing her freely. 

Because she could. 

And it felt amazing. 

And she never wanted to stop. 

But air is a thing lungs need. 

And even if Pernille was clearly enjoying it, they'd agreed on not escalating things, so Magda retreated a couple of inches to face her on the shared pillow. 

It was a very wholesome admission that broke the silence. 

"I'm so happy," gently whispered by Pernille.

Magda found her hand and kissed it in response. 

"Me too." 

But Pernille wasn't finished there. 

"I really like you," even quieter than the first whisper. 

It was a simple statement. 

But coming from Pernille, it was everything. 

Magda's heart actually fluttered. 

"I really like you too. So much you have no idea," she meant it. 

That seemed to be a popular declaration with Pernille, who kissed Magda, kissed the hand she was holding, and manoeuvred herself backwards until she was perfectly moulded into her body. 

Magda switched off the bedside lamp, and wrapped her arms around Pernille, burying her face in her hair and holding her like their lives depended on it.

They fell asleep like that. 

Judging by their current position, obviously the sleeping arrangements had been reconsidered during the night. 

Namely the hands currently squeezing Magda's abs as Pernille begins to wake up and stretch her way to consciousness. 

Magda knows she's actually awake when the hands freeze.

Then they hover. 

Afraid to touch. 

Very slowly, Pernille's face tilts up.

Cautious. 

Checking. 

Innocent blue eyes wide and unsure. 

When she catches sight of the soft smile Magda's already offering, it seems to be the trigger to remembering last night's events. 

And that they happened. 

And well... that she's not inappropriately massaging her best friend's abs without consent. 

The smile that reaches her eyes is instant and all-consuming. 

It widens Magda's own. 

The utter delight on Pernille's face. 

She scans between Magda's eyes before dropping her head back onto her chest and squeezing her torso. 

Magda understands the reaction. 

It's Pernille's version of the smiley headshaking Magda had done earlier. 

The disbelief.

Pernille feels it too. 

She cranes her neck to look at Magda properly now.

"Hey," Magda can hear the smile in her own voice, despite the rasp. 

Pernille is just staring at her, smiling back. 

"Hi." 

It's ridiculous. 

After everything, that's the best they can come up with. 

But Magda knows. 

This... This feeling. 

It was beyond words.

This was them, smiling at their inevitability. 

There was no awkwardness. 

No hesitations. 

No regrets. 

No fear. 

This is what Magda wanted. 

This is why she was patient. 

To do it properly took time.

But the best things are always worth the wait. 

Now here she is.

And the best thing in the world is hers. 

And it's hungry. 

Magda raises her eyebrows at the growl coming from Pernille's stomach. 

It's only met with a laugh. 

"Sleep well?" Magda asks quietly, already knowing the answer. 

"Never better," Pernille sighs, her body already relaxing back into Magda like she's considering falling back asleep in the comfort of her embrace. 

Magda lifts the arm she had draped around her and instead begins to trace small circles on the tan skin of her bicep. 

Now's the time. 

To do all these little things she had to restrain herself from doing before. 

Because yesterday, it wouldn't have been appropriate. 

But now? 

There's no stopping her. 

She plans on smothering Pernille with affection.

Every chance she gets.

In leaning down and placing a kiss on the crown of Pernille's head, she earns herself a delighted smile. 

They stay like that for a while. 

Tangling and untangling hands for the sake of it.

Conscious of potential morning breath, Magda keeps the kisses chaste.

But they're plentiful. 

Stolen in between smiles while they small talk.

There's very little trying involved. 

This is them. 

Comfortable together.

Their usual routine from the mornings they've shared together, with the newly added bonus of kisses.

What more could a girl want?

In the end, it's Pernille's stomach that finally gets them moving. 

Noticing Pernille seems reluctant to leave the comfort of bed just yet, Magda throws herself into action and offers to make breakfast. 

She has a few ideas in mind. 

Pancakes. 

Poached eggs on avocado toast. 

Straight forward enough... If you had the ingredients. 

Unimpressed by what she finds in the bare fridge, Magda's search of the remaining cupboards comes up short. 

She trudges back to the room empty-handed. 

Pernille has taken her spot.

A smile peeping out from under the layer of covers and pillows. 

Cute. 

But not cute enough to excuse the lack of food in the kitchen. 

Magda sits on the side of the bed, her heart warming at the way Pernille immediately reaches out to hold her hand. 

"Your kitchen is empty. Literally empty. There's not a single thing that even I could scramble together." 

Pernille grows sheepish, animatedly pulling the covers up over her face to escape the shame. 

When she responds, it's muffled. 

"Yeahhhhh. I knew there was something I forgot to do this week." 

Magda can't understand how someone could live like this. 

How do you forget to buy food?

She's concerned for Pernille's health, more than anything. 

"This week? What have you been eating?" 

"Well... Whatever you cook, usually." 

She's reappeared from under the covers to shrug. 

Now that Magda thinks about it, they did have dinner together every day this week. 

Yeah, they cooked here, but Magda only bought the ingredients for each particular meal.

That'll have to change. 

Looks like a meal prep education will be in Pernille's near future. 

Reaching out to brush away the stray strands of bed head stuck to Pernille's forehead, Magda realizes it's kinda her fault. 

She always felt very protective of her. 

Right from the start, even as friends, there was something about Pernille that made Magda want to take care of her. 

Maybe it was her adorable face. Maybe it was the cute but dorky personality. It could even have been her inability to go five seconds without smiling. 

Whatever the reason, Magda always had the urge to look after her. 

Apparently, that had translated into being her personal chef. 

Considering Pernille's lack of skills in the kitchen, and Magda's fondness of spending well... basically all of her time with her, this was always going to happen. 

With the plans Magda has for spoiling her with all the love and care she can possibly offer, it'll no doubt continue.

But for now? She just needs food. 

"Do you want to go shopping and buy stuff for me to cook here? Or do you just want to go to a cafe?" 

Pernille winces at the idea of leaving bed. 

"What time is it?" 

"Eleven."

"Which would be quicker?" 

"Probably the cafe." 

"Alright, brunch it is then."

Pernille showers first, giving Magda free reign of her wardrobe to pick an outfit to borrow. 

She goes for black jeans, a white tee-shirt and almost chooses one of Pernille's leather jackets. 

But in honour of her newfound softness, she instead ops for a red Denmark training jacket.

She grits her teeth and gets over the enemy crest, simply because 'Harder' is sewn into the sleeve. 

It's a statement. 

She's committed to this.

And she knows it'll make Pernille happy. 

So she hides it at the bottom of the pile and looks forward to the reaction. 

Emerging freshly showered, donning her enemy colour, Magda braces herself for the smile. 

It's face splitting. 

Incredulous.

Worth it.

Pernille sitting cross-legged on the couch, mouth hanging open in delight at the surprise.

The giggle breaks free not long after. 

Magda holds her arms out and does a reserved spin on her way over, modelling the outfit. 

Before plopping onto the couch beside Pernille to witness the reaction up close. 

"I can't believe you chose that," she's pulling at the sleeve as if she can't quite fathom Magda is actually wearing it. 

"It was the only thing I could find," Magda injects faux annoyance into her voice.

Pernille obviously knows that's not true. 

Magda doesn't care, she has to maintain some shred of credibility here. She can't seem too happy to be voluntarily wearing such a betrayal. 

"Well... You do look extra good in red," she catches Magda off guard with the sultry delivery of that line.

And the wink that accompanies it. 

Teeth now brushed, there's no stopping Magda from kissing her properly for the first time this morning. 

It was already long overdue.

Magda considers ten seconds without a kiss, overdue. 

But she knows they're both starving, so this will have to wait. 

"Ready to go?" 

Magda asks because... Well... Judging by Pernille's wet and unbrushed hair, she doesn't exactly look ready.

"Actually, I was waiting to ask you, would you plait my hair again? Please?" 

Magda smiles instantly at the memory.

"Of course."

Pernille hands her the brush, and she gets to work. 

It seems like such a long time ago now. 

Back then, she was on the brink of realising her feelings for her best friend. Never could she have imagined that her best friend was doing the same thing. 

Now here they are. 

Life can be magical sometimes. 

Just before they head out the door, Magda has one last thing to do. 

Gently pinning Pernille against the wall at the site of their first kiss, Magda kisses her senseless.

Pernille is a little bit stunned.

She's gone bright red. 

Magda bites her lip to keep from laughing. 

Alright fine, she got a little carried away.

You could hardly blame her?

Magda does a final check before they leave. 

"OK?" 

Pernille nods enthusiastically. 

"Better than OK," she's giving Magda a very dopey smile.

Magda smiles back. 

A reassurance. 

She can't predict how their dynamic will change once they're out in public.

It'll all depend on what Pernille is comfortable with. 

So Magda wanted to give her a memorable little reminder of what they have.

What they'll always have in here, no matter what.

Just in case the newness of it all makes Pernille unsure out in the world. 

A precaution, but one she hopes will give Pernille confidence either way. 

But, as is an emerging pattern, Magda is relieved to find she had nothing to worry about. 

It stays the same. 

They talk about the same things. 

They make the same kind of jokes. 

Magda orders their coffees.

Pernille offers all her attention directly across the table, focus never wavering.

Magda misses her turn to order, too distracted admiring the side profile of Pernille's jawline as she looks up at the waiter.

Pernille impatiently waits for Magda to snap a picture of the food before digging in. 

Magda teases her for looking like a chipmunk when her cheeks are stuffed with pancakes.

Their usual antics. 

The difference comes on a deeper level. 

The understanding of emotions is now there. 

Magda is allowed to stare.

She's allowed to touch. 

She's allowed express all the affection she'd been suppressing.

Pernille seems to be getting used to doing the same.

She has surprised Magda, with just how comfortable she seems to be about everything. 

There's no hesitation.

No fear.

It being her first relationship with a girl is apparently a non-factor.

She seems to be in a great place, fully secure in herself and what she wants. 

Magda is glad she waited.

If this is the version of Pernille she got as a result. 

The one that's sure.

And bold.

Magda blushes when she catches herself being stared at more frequently.

The subtle way their legs touch under the table, but instead of politely moving away, Pernille is the one leaning into the contact. 

They keep things light-hearted, but there's a new softness to how they look at each other. 

It carries back to the apartment. 

Of all the times ever, Magda is looking forward to a lazy Sunday. 

The company probably has something to do with it. 

They set up camp on the couch for the afternoon. 

Football on.

Cuddles galore. 

More kisses than Magda could have dreamed of. 

It's nice to spend time getting used to the new intimacy. 

It's just the two of them, exploring this new dimension to their relationship. 

It comes so naturally. 

Magda just revels the privilege of being in Pernille's presence. 

She's blessed. 

While Pernille watches the TV, Magda watches her. 

During a break in play, she smiles over at Magda, but the smile drops when she catches her already looking.

Magda doesn't look away

"Why are you staring?" she seems taken aback by the intensity. 

Magda decides to be honest. 

"Because I still can't believe it."

Pernille's eyes soften. 

She looks like she's about to cry. 

"Stop," it's a gentle whisper, as she looks at her toes getting all shy. 

Magda places a kiss on the top of her head in response. 

She swoons at Pernille's doe eyes when she glances back up. 

"You're perfect."

Magda melts. 

But shakes her head. 

"I'm not. But you make me want to be."

Well all fucking right there Magda, straight to the deep stuff.

When she's said it, she almost cringes at how cheesy it sounded out loud.

Cliché. 

But judging by Pernille's giggly eye roll, she enjoyed it.

Magda hides her face in Pernille's hair until the blush subsides. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

Magda pulls back to look at her. 

She's shyly holding her eyes. 

"Anything."

Pernille's quiet for a moment. 

"How long did you know?" 

That's not a straightforward question. 

But Magda remains relaxed. 

They can talk about anything. 

"Well, that depends," she sits up a little straighter. 

Pernille nods, encouraging her to continue. 

"If you mean how long I knew I liked you? Probably since the day at Lake Roxen. And then that day in the woods just after. I reallyyyyy wanted to kiss you when we were stuck in the rain."

Pernille nods, a happy smile.

Magda takes a moment to gather her thoughts. 

"If you mean how long I knew you liked me? I had suspicions for a while, but I didn't know if it was just wishful thinking. The night we played pool was when I really started to believe it. And then you winked at me on the bus when you caught me staring. So there was really no going back after that."

Pernille laughs. 

Magda uses it as an opportunity to steal a kiss. 

"What about you?" Magda questions softly, running her thumb along their joined hands.

Pernille looks up at the ceiling for a few moments to think about it. 

"I think the day in the woods," she smiles fondly at the memory, picking at a thread on the couch. 

"I just... I don't know. Something changed that day. Trapped in the rain? God. I almost kissed you on the couch that night. I always looked at you differently after that."

That surprises Magda. Pernille was thinking about kissing her that early? Wow. 

She's flattered.

"And if you mean how long I knew you liked me? There was no specific moment. I guess it was all the little things. The smiles. Anytime you'd stare. But your attempt to teach me how to play pool left no room for doubt."

Magda rolls her eyes at the mention. 

"Hey, I tried my best."

"Your technique was terrible." 

Magda push of retaliation leads to Pernille grabbing her arm and pulling her in for a kiss instead. 

Not a bad outcome. 

Something she could definitely get used to. 

She loves this.

Being able to talk so openly. 

Being in a relationship with your best friend means so much of the foundations are already built. 

They know each other.

The trust. The comfort. The understanding. 

It's all there.

It means they can focus on other things. 

Like how many kisses they can squeeze in during the ninety minutes of the next match that's just kicked off. 

The answer? 

A lot.

When the match is over, Magda finally gets off the couch and heads to the bathroom.

On her way back up the hallway, the unmistakable sound of cartoons floats to meet her. 

The nostalgia hits.

She recognises the main character. 

It was one of her favourites as a child.

She walks around the corner.

She finds Pernille sitting upright, watching with rapt attention. 

She's watching cartoons. 

She couldn't be more wholesome if she tried. 

Magda's return startles her. 

She hastily switches the channel.

Magda sits back down and looks at her curiously. 

"Were you watching cartoons?" 

Even Pernille's ears are gone red. 

"Don't laugh." 

Magda bites her lip to comply and nods. 

"Promise?" 

Magda nods again. 

"When I moved here, my Swedish was so bad."

She closes her eyes and winces at the memory. 

"I hated learning online because it was boring. And all the language in Swedish TV shows was too advanced to start learning from scratch."

She checks Magda's not laughing. 

She's not.

Yet. 

"Soooo... I started watching cartoons with Danish subtitles to learn the basics."

Pernille finishes with an awkward shrug, clearly self-conscious about it. 

Magda thought she was going to laugh. 

But that... That reason is very cute. 

"That's actually really smart P."

Magda is serious.

She can't stand her feeling embarrassed about struggling to learn a new language.

She needs to give herself more credit. 

"Plus, I'm glad you did it. If you didn't, we'd never have been able to talk properly. Then we wouldn't have been such good friends and would never have become... This." 

She's careful not to label it yet. 

Too soon. 

But her pep talk has Pernille smiling again. 

So Magda grabs the remote and flicks back to the cartoons.

In solidarity. 

Magda even surprises her at the end by singing the theme tune during the credits.

It has the desired outcome. 

Just when she thought Pernille couldn't look at her any more adoringly. 

Pernille will have to get used to what it's like being in a relationship with her. 

Magda is the aggressively supportive type.

It's her and Pernille against the world.

Partners in crime.

They talk for most of the evening. 

Naturally, the topic of Frido comes up. 

"I can't believe she kept Tom from us," Pernille still hasn't let it go.

"I know. I'm happy for her though. He seems really nice," Frido will be getting an earful from Magda about keeping secrets, but ultimately Magda's excited she's seeing someone. 

"Really? I didn't actually get to speak to him much. What were you guys talking about at the bar?" 

Ah. So Pernille noticed.

Slight blush creeping up Magda's neck. 

"He uh, he asked if you were my date."

"And?" 

"I told him you were."

Pernille's beaming smile seems satisfied with that answer. 

"He said Frido hadn't actually mentioned it or anything, but he got that vibe from watching our interactions."

"Were we that obvious yesterday?" 

Pernille is laughing.

"Apparently. So yeah, he congratulated me, and then wanted us to offer a toast." 

"For?" 

"For having the best dates in the building." 

Pernille is laughing despite the blush. 

"Seriously?" 

"Swear to god. But yeah, he's fun. Seems like Frido's type of guy." 

"Good. We can't let her get away that easily though."

"Absolutely not. We'll call her later and interrogate."

"We need to tease the hell out of her."

Magda agrees. They shake on it. 

When evening comes and food is once again on the agenda, they decide to branch out a little and entertain themselves.

Frido picks up on the first ring. 

"Well well well, look who's actually alive," she wastes no time with the teasing.

But she agrees to pick up the Italian on her way over, so it's easily forgiven. 

Magda wonders how they're going to handle this. 

The overthinking is back, but this time, it's on Pernille's behalf. 

Magda's main concern is how comfortable Pernille is with people knowing.

It's so new. 

So fresh.

Right now, it's theirs. 

How much are they willing to share with Frido?

As much as Magda would love to scream from the rooftops that Pernille is her girl now, she knows that might not be something she's ready for.

Especially considering Pernille probably has no idea Frido has been coaching Magda's love life.

Knowing Frido has been somewhat in the loop may scare her. 

It's always frightening when you share something new with the world.

Especially those close to you. 

Even if you pretty much know how they'll react.

Magda's fairly certain Pernille is confident enough in herself not to be phased by people knowing. 

Her sexuality seems like something she's very much accepted and embraced.

Still, she doesn't want to assume. 

She's trying to be as thoughtful as possible about this. 

But she also doesn't want to turn it into an issue if it's not one.

Mentioning it to her may make it seem like something she should be worried about.

It may plant seeds of doubt. 

Magda knows making people second guess themselves can damage self-confidence.

It's better to just trust your instincts, without worrying about what others think. 

So she decides to play it safe and just follow Pernille's lead. 

Who knows, maybe Frido won't notice.

No such luck. 

"Nice plait," are the first words out of her mouth when Pernille opens the door. 

"Thanks! Magda did it for me," Pernille glows at the compliment, reaching up to affectionately touch it. 

"I bet she did," is the smug response, with a very unsubtle pointed look at Magda.

God, she's like a hawk. 

This is going to be a long evening. 

They leave it a polite amount of time before addressing the real reason they invited Frido over. 

The gossip. 

Magda catches Pernille's eye and gives her a look, urging her to ask.

Pernille clears her throat gently before speaking. 

"So... How is Tom?" she tries to be casual but she's already smirking.

Magda rolls her eyes at the subtlety.

"Fine, I guess? Haven't been talking to him today." 

Frido doesn't even look up from her food. 

She seems entirely unbothered.

Strange... 

Magda does the math. 

Namely, the implication of not having spoken to him today.

Wait. 

That means... 

"Did he leave before you woke up?" 

There's an edge to Magda's voice as she asks.

She's already getting angry. The thought of someone just using Frido like that and then running doesn't sit well with her.

The fucking disrespect.

How dare he. 

Pernille just looks sad for Frido.

From what Magda observed last night, Frido seemed to really like him. 

Her heart breaks at the thought of how hurt she must have been to wake up and find herself abandoned. 

Now here she is, trying hard to put in a brave face and pretending to be unaffected.

"What? No no, he left last night."

Magda can't understand how Frido is so stoic about this.

"He left straight after?" 

That's even worse. 

The disgust in Magda's tone makes something click. 

Frido's eyes widen, mouth full of pizza.

She rapidly chews and swallows, before getting the explanation out. 

"Oh! No no, he just dropped me home."

Magda shares a confused look with Pernille. Then they both look back at Frido. Entirely baffled.

Magda wants answers. 

"What?"

"Nothing happened with Tom. Not like that. It was only the second date."

"Then why did you say you wanted the apartment to yourself?"

"Well... Because I did. I ordered Chinese and watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. I knew it'd be sad so I wanted to cry in peace." 

She shrugs like it was a perfectly reasonable explanation. 

When it's met with confused silence, she elaborates. 

"Also I was doing you a favour Magda. You're two seasons behind, didn't wanna spoil it for you. You're welcome."

"Seriously?"

"Mmhmm," she hums around a sip of her drink. 

"Bullshit." 

"Have you checked my Snapchat story today? No? Course not you were busy..."

Magda blushes at the insinuation Frido laces into her words. 

Frido hands her the phone, and Pernille pops her head over to see the screen as well. 

It's a video.

Captioned 'the things we do for love. gonna need to find a new OTP.'

It starts with the front camera, a fresh-faced Frido in her pyjamas, cheeks covered in tears.

Then she switches the camera. 

It's the Grey's Anatomy credits rolling down the screen. 

At the bottom of the frame, Frido's slippers are propped up on the coffee table full of takeaway boxes. 

There's only one plate. 

She really was alone. 

She looks incredibly vindicated as Magda hands the phone back

"Told ya."

Magda eats her words.

She can't believe she got it so wrong. 

"I'm sorry... That just seemed... A little too farfetched."

Frido just shrugs her shoulders and goes back to finishing her dinner. 

But Magda is left to ponder the real motive.

It's so unlike Frido to go to the trouble of displacing Magda for the night, just so she could watch TV. 

She could have watched it on her laptop with headphones. 

She could have waited for one of the many occasions when Magda wasn't home. 

So why did she really not want Magda there...

The answer presents itself a few minutes later. 

Frido scans between them.

Eyes lingering on where Pernille's hand is still resting on Magda's leg since she leaned over to watch the video.

"So..." Frido drags the pause out.

They wait. 

"What did you guys get up to afterwards?"

A probing question.

Judging by the way she leans back in her chair to evaluate, she's expecting it to be good. 

There's mischief in Frido's eyes.

A... Smugness. 

Likes she knows something they don't. 

Then it clicks. 

Of course. 

Of fucking course.

That's why she wanted the house to herself.

That's why she made up that bullshit excuse. 

She knew it'd force Magda to spend the night with Pernille.

Knowing their situation, she was giving them a push. 

Magda's eyes narrow with the realization. 

Judging by Frido's smirk, she seems to understand she's been found out.

And apparently that, combined with the beaming smile Pernille is giving Magda at the mention of last night, is enough of an answer.

Frido's ecstatic grin says it all.

She even closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, as if trying to process wonderful news.

Alright. 

She knows.

She doesn't know the extent of it, but she's been in the loop enough to recognize something happened. 

Magda waits for the question. 

She'll answer it truthfully. 

She's sure now Pernille would do the same.

It's Frido, after all. 

They won't lie to her. 

But the question never comes. 

Frido seems content with what she has. 

She doesn't ask anything further.

They talk about football. Today's results. How nice Tom is. How Pernille's family is doing. 

There's not a single other mention of anything relating to the earlier topic. 

They've always been comfortable in Frido's presence.

As the evening wears on, they forget themselves.

Pernille leaning her head on Magda's shoulder as she grew tired. 

Magda's hand coming up to pet Pernille's hair when she yawned.

Lingering eye contact. 

Affectionate touching of arms when laughing too hard. 

Faces repeatedly gravitating so close together that Magda actually starts to notice. 

But the smiles, are probably the most telling.

Always directed at each other. 

Adoring. 

Looking back, it's a wonder Frido even lasted the hour after dinner. 

Magda walks her to her car. 

"I'll be home later."

"Will you?" eyebrows raise in question. 

"Yeah. Need to get my gear ready for tomorrow." 

"Alright, I'll see you then."

Magda nods.

There's an elephant in the room here, but neither is acknowledging it. 

"Bye."

"Bye."

Magda's halfway back to the apartment when she hears her name. 

She turns around. 

Frido, about to drive away, has dropped the window and is leaning out. 

"You're welcome!" is the shout. 

Magda finally gives in, letting the happiness break across her face.

She gives Frido the middle finger. 

For being sneaky. 

She can see Frido's own smile from the car. 

She speeds away with her hand stuck out the window in a peace sign. 

Well. 

Someone's clearly proud of their work. 

When Magda goes back inside, Pernille beats her to it. 

"Frido knows," she says it seriously, a factual statement. 

"She does."

Magda is impressed at her reaction. Pernille doesn't seem phased, nor surprised, in the slightest. 

"Who else do you think knows?" 

Magda's happy that she doesn't even sound concerned. She just seems genuinely curious.

"I have no idea," Magda imagines that if Frido was so sure, there's definitely more who'll have suspicions.

The gears in her head are already turning, guessing who could know. 

Training tomorrow will be fun.

But apparently she's thinking too loudly. 

She finds her hand being tangled with another. 

Before Pernille surprises her by closing the space with a nice little reassurance kiss of her own. 

"I guess we'll find out."

Magda's sure they will. 

Looking down at their joined hands, she knows one thing's for certain. 

They'll do it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well?
> 
> Soft enough? :)
> 
> Was hard to try continue after Ch11 being such a monster hit.
> 
> Hope this lived up to the wait!
> 
> (I'll proofread tomorrow lol)


	13. Outside Eyes Can Sense When True Love Smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey strangers.
> 
> It's been a while. Here's something to hopefully keep everyone entertained during these scary times.
> 
> Thanks for all the constant support, you're the best.
> 
> Sorry it took so long. 
> 
> I'm a little rusty, but hopefully it turned out OK.
> 
> If you're reading this, thanks for still caring x
> 
> Enjoy x

It felt... strange.

First times usually are.

In her two years living at this apartment, Pernille had never once waited outside it for her ride to training.

Probably because she was never ready this early.

Anticipation will do that to you.

Put you on edge.

But why was today different?

A simple enough reason.

Today started with a text.

Well, two texts.

The first, she woke up to.

A 'good morning beautiful' from Magda.

As if she hadn't already woken up smiling.

But it was the second, sent half an hour later, that left her slightly anxious.

The waiting was the worst part.

Gently kicking the curb and fidgeting with the gear bag on her shoulder, Pernille chews on her lip and wonders how best to handle it.

She's dealt with it before no doubt, but it's been a while.

At least she has a pretty good idea of what's coming.

When Magda returned home last night, Frido had been eagerly waiting up.

Expecting as much, Magda had the foresight to video the exchanged.

Frido proved her right.

It was an Oscar-worthy ambush.

She probably woke the neighbours.

The screaming.

The hugging.

The sarcastic clapping that they finally got together.

The way she caught Magda by the shoulders and shook her.

It was endearing how invested she was.

Turns out Magda had been just as obvious in her pining and Frido was sick of it.

Her wholehearted excitement left Pernille with such a warm feeling.

Yet...

She couldn't help but wonder why Frido hadn't said anything earlier when they were all together.

Because she clearly knew by then.

Magda revealed the very sweet answer when she called to say goodnight.

Frido was being thoughtful.

Pernille should have guessed as much.

With things happening so quickly, she had somehow forgotten that just the day before at the gala, she literally told Frido point blank she didn't want to talk about it yet.

God, what a difference a day makes.

Even though Frido plotted them spending the night together, and was confident that something had happened, she still didn't fully know where Pernille's head was at with all of it.

So she kept her word.

Silently supporting the process.

How was she to know that once Pernille got Magda, she was absolutely certain it was exactly what she wanted?

No matter how badly she'd been tempted to say something to them, Frido managed to contain it, for Pernille's sake.

She held herself together.

Heroically.

Well, for a couple of hours at least.

Even she has limits.

By the time Magda came home, she couldn't take it any longer.

Hence, the delayed reaction.

And the subsequent... explosion.

Once Magda filled her in, reassuring her Pernille was completely fine with everything now, she immediately vowed to give her hell in the morning too.

Judging by Magda's second message of "Brace yourself," Frido hadn't forgotten overnight.

With every passing moment, eyes squinting down the street into the early morning sun, the anticipation mounts.

Pernille's so busy daydreaming about the events of the last 36 hours, she almost doesn't see the familiar car pulling up beside her.

It's eerily quiet for a moment when she hops into the backseat.

Magda turns around and offers a very soft "Good morning," with one of her more shy smiles.

Pernille matches it, returning a rather cheerful "Morning."

Frido takes that as her cue.

When she slowly turns around from the front seat, her face is surprisingly blank.

And then comes the strangely casual tone.

"What? No 'good morning' kiss?"

She waits for the joke to land.

Pernille's nervous giggle is all it takes before she's on the receiving end of an onslaught.

She jumps at Frido's sudden change in energy.

It's like she's being electrocuted.

Shouting and bouncing in her seat.

It's a mess of limbs flailing and celebratory clapping.

She's speaking a hundred miles an hour.

Pernille, slightly bewildered by the outburst, can only make out a few of the words.

"FINALLY!" seems to be the most popular one.

"I KNEW. I ABSOLUTELY KNEW YO-"

"-WAS SURE YOU'D BE GREAT TOGETHER-"

"-SO OBVIOUS-"

"THOUGHT YOU WERE BOTH BLIND-"

"-the LOOKS-"

"-MONTHS-"

"PERFECT FOR EACH OTH-"

She's straining her seat belt with all the action, hands working overtime to convey her excitement.

It's a more intense version of what Pernille saw on video last night.

An amusing contrast to Magda, who's driving calmly beside her, clearly immune having dealt with it all morning.

Pernille can't help her blush under the spotlight.

It's been years since she had to experience the teasing of friends finding out about a new relationship.

It brings that same feeling of butterflies and adrenalin.

Mixed in with that very small amount of embarrassment at having so much attention suddenly on your love life.

But as someone who knows and cares about them both, Frido's genuine happiness really hits home.

Pernille wasn't looking for anyone's approval, she wants to be with Magda and nothing could change that.

But hearing it from Frido, having someone rooting for them so passionately, still means a lot to her.

That added level of reassurance is comforting.

Even if the praise for getting together is a rather strange sensation.

It feels like an achievement.

Like she's done something significantly right.

A good life lesson she lives by is if it feels right, then it is right.

And being with Magda definitely feels right.

She smiles at that thought, laughing while Frido finishes her rant.

She catches Magda's eye in the rear-view mirror. She can't see her mouth, but she can tell by the crinkles around her eyes she's smiling hard too.

All Pernille can offer to Frido is a bashful smile, shrugging her shoulders and failing so miserably to hide her happiness that she just stops trying.

She even finds she actually somewhat enjoys the teasing, though she would never admit that to Frido.

It's exciting to have someone else to talk about it with.

Naturally, Frido has a lot of questions.

Pernille is grateful that she at least has the mercy to interrogate them both equally.

The outside perspective provides the entertainment for the rest of the journey.

It's a fascinating revelation to learn Frido predicted it months ago.

Before they really even knew themselves what was going on.

Not only that, but once they were both single, she had taken it upon herself to 'nurture the spark'.

Making sure they were stuck spending time alone. Talking in glowing terms about one to the other. Orchestrating excuses to save herself from the 'insufferable third-wheeling'.

Everything she mentions makes her behaviour over the last couple of months make perfect sense.

But despite everything, she prides herself on never crossing a line.

"Gentle nudges to speed up the inevitable," is how she aptly describes it.

She also promises to start hanging out with them more now.

One particular anecdote leaves Pernille in stitches when Frido even spills that she'd been 'coaching' an initially hopeless Magda.

"She needed a push to admit she thought you liked her."

Leaning out between the seats, Pernille catches a glimpse of Magda's mortified blush.

She'll be sure to tease her about that in future.

But for now, she has to concede Magda's defence is a good one.

"Well it worked, didn't it?"

Pernille can't deny that.

Despite all her teasing, Frido gets a little more serious as they get near the training ground.

The way she turns in her seat to look her in the eye goes a long way.

"Also P, Magda already mentioned you guys don't want to make it a big deal or whatever, so don't worry they won't hear it from me," the wink she finishes with lightens the mood even more.

Pernille appreciates the reassurance.

They don't mind people knowing.

Not at all.

She's passed that stage.

They're just not broadcasting it either.

They don't want the unnecessary attention of making it a 'thing'.

This is their work, after all.

When Magda brought it up before leaving last night, her wonderfully simple proposal of "just being ourselves", ensured Pernille knew where they stood.

It definitely seemed like the best strategy for handling a relationship in the workplace.

They're too professional to let it interfere with their jobs.

So they settled on the plan of letting the team figure it out for themselves organically.

It even turns into a fun little game they're looking forward to.

Frido's additional, offhanded comment of "I can't wait to see how quickly they notice, I think you'll be surprised" indicates she'll be joining them in the entertainment.

Once they step out of the car, Pernille's shoes barely hit the gravel before Magda pulls her in for a tight hug.

The quiet, more private "good morning" paired with the attentiveness in her green eyes when she pulls back, leaves Pernille's heart racing.

Frido's hard scoff from a few feet away smashes through the moment before Pernille can respond.

"If that's how you're starting the day, I expect a press conference announcement before lunch."

Magda childishly flips her middle finger.

"Don't hate me just cause it's true," is Frido's response, before adding "Now move, my turn," pushing Magda away and pulling Pernille into a congratulatory hug of her own.

Pernille savours it, delighted to have her other best friend back in the fold properly.

God, she's missed her.

Almost as much as she's missed football.

It's impressive how seamlessly they turn their attention to the job at hand.

Today marks the return to full team training.

An important milestone.

Another reason they don't want to cause a distraction.

It's a significant moment, three months in the making.

Something they dreamed about since the start of their injury rehabs.

Once they step into the dressing room and take their respective seats away from each other, Pernille finds comfort in how easily she falls back into her routine.

Chatting with teammates as they arrive each side of her, methodically slipping on her shin guards and boots.

It feels like forever since she's been able to look at the team's schedule, as opposed to her individual injury one.

She's eager to get back out there.

She lets her eyes wander across the room to Magda a few times, pleased to see her settling back just as quickly. The energy in her movements and gestures a clear sign she's just as excited for the return.

It's only when they're walking out towards the pitch that they gravitate to one another through the crowd. Frido pops up to one side as well.

It's just like old times.

Except for the less guarded adoration in Magda's smile, and the way Pernille's heart always flutters in response.

Once training starts and the coach warmly welcomes them back, there's an unspoken agreement to focus on the football.

Pernille clears her mind and channels all of her energy into her performance.

It feels great to let go.

Even if she's not quite back to her best just yet.

She hits a few sloppy passes, and her usual speed isn't quite there, but that's ok.

It's a process.

She focuses on getting better.

They cross paths a few times in drills, but Magda's competitiveness and Pernille's commitment to excellence mean it's game faces only.

Magda's certainly not smiling when Pernille rounds her to score.

Pernille is the one wincing when Magda throws herself into a last-second slide tackle to dispossess her inside the box.

It makes for a rough landing, and when she looks up in annoyance at Magda, there's a ghost of a smirk as she reaches out a hand to pull her up.

"What, did you think you'd get special treatment?"

Pernille throws a dirty look.

Of course, she goes to extreme lengths on the next play, producing an elaborate nutmeg to leave Magda fuming.

It's worth the burn in her lungs at the extra effort.

On the field, they take it seriously.

The intensity of the session demands it.

There's so much happening at any given time, so much shouting, so many decisions to be made, so many actions to execute.

All in a split second.

Everything is constantly moving.

It's chaos.

You have to be fully tuned in to perform.

There's no room to think about anything else.

Especially since they're adjusting back to the pace, everything takes that bit more focus.

It's only during water breaks they let their guards slip back down a little.

The tired high five to acknowledge the strong effort they're both putting in.

The way Magda playfully kicks at Pernille's leg as she lies flat on the grass after a particularly vicious set of sprints.

Even the fact that only one of them ever needs to grab a water bottle, the other always magically appears nearby to share.

But if Pernille's being honest, it's... nothing new.

Like almost everything since they've gotten together, things stay almost the same.

At a glance, you wouldn't be able to find anything in their interactions that they hadn't been doing before.

It takes a little while for Pernille to identify that the real change is on a much deeper level.

Their entire relationship is more complex.

A wordless connection.

Feeling the meaning behind every stare.

Every smile.

Every casual touch.

There's an understanding of intention.

It's like a secret dynamic only they share.

Pernille feeds off the energy.

Running faster. Jumping higher. Thinking quicker.

By the time training ends in mid-afternoon, exhaustion isn't even the word.

Both mental and physical.

Her first session back, with the extra cardio to make up for no game at the weekend, leaves Pernille shattered.

Judging by the way Magda is slow to get back on her feet, she's feeling the effects too.

The entire squad are rather quiet as they slowly make their way back to the dressing room.

Pernille's can't remember a time when her legs trembled this much after a session.

She just nods in greeting when Magda falls into step beside her.

Catching her breath is more important than anything she could possibly need to say.

She wonders if her lungs will ever stop burning.

Magda's silence, accompanied by her hard breathing and bright red face, reassures Pernille she's not the only one suffering.

But no matter how intensely her muscles are aching, there's one thing she refuses to ever look forward to.

The ice bath.

A dozen have already been prepared outside the dressing room.

Resigned to her fate, Pernille whips off her training top and socks.

Today was one of those days where the players didn't have the energy to wait in turns.

Capitalising on the size, two and three comfortably pile into each.

Pernille heads to the nearest free one, closing her eyes and dropping herself halfway in.

She hisses at the sting.

Biting the bullet, she grits her teeth and lowers herself further in.

The cold burn is almost violent.

Of course, she accepts it's a necessary evil that will undoubtedly prevent her even worse pain tomorrow.

But it's hard to be grateful when your skin is frozen numb.

She curses with a gasp, feeling the water slosh behind her and move the level cruelly further up along her body.

Magda had joined the party.

Also making no secret of her displeasure, the string of curses intensifies as she too fully submerges herself as far as the torso.

It's enough to make Pernille laugh quietly.

Before the cold steals her breath once again.

She doesn't bother turning around, too focused on trying to bear the icy burn.

It's about a minute in when she feels Magda touch her hair from behind.

She ignores the first instance, busy concentrating on convincing herself she was on a sunny beach in the Bahamas.

But at the second pinch on the crown of her head, she manages to swivel without displacing too much water.

"Why are you pulling my hair?" she forces out in between shivers.

"You have grass in it," is Magda's reply through chattering teeth, ignoring Pernille's gaze and continuing the pull pieces of from various places.

It's hard not to stare, in this proximity.

But to be perfectly honest, Pernille thinks nothing of it.

Magda's just taking the grass out of her hair.

It's only when Magda's attention drops from her hair to her eyes, Pernille's sharp intake of breath has nothing to do with the cold.

The stare could be innocent, but the hand lingering to tuck the loose hair behind her ear is certainly not.

They must pause a second too long.

Pernille shrieks when the cold splash stabs across her face.

Magda has a similar reaction, both flinching to protect their faces.

Rubbing the water out of her eyes, she opens them to find a smirking Frido in the bath beside them, the offending hand dripping.

"Frido, what the FUCK?"

But Frido ignores Pernille's question, she just jerks her head slightly to the side, where Jennie is watching them both with a suspiciously wide grin.

What's she looking at?

Did they do somethi-

Oh.

Right.

Yeah... That.

Guess they found out how long it would take for the first teammate to notice.

Pernille is suddenly glad for the ice bath, hoping it will keep her blush under control.

Magda seems to have realized too.

The soft way she looks at Pernille before looking at her feet.

It's cute to see her get all shy.

Pernille looks back to Jennie, who seems to be analysing Frido for a clue, clearly expecting an answer to a question she just asked.

Frido is doing an admirable job of avoiding her stare, pointedly concentrating on one of the few clouds in the sky.

When Jennie looks back over, they're both waiting.

She must notice their smiles, because she matches them, looking between the two with raised eyebrows.

"So..."

The question is undoubtedly implied.

Magda doesn't hesitate.

"Yeah."

It's all she needs to say.

Jennie's eyes go wide. She looks at Frido for confirmation, receiving an affirmative nod.

Whatever response Pernille had been expecting, it's not what she gets.

Déjà vu strikes again, in the utterances of "Finally."

There's a brief pause, everyone sighing in relief as the timer goes off and they climb out of the water, but Jennie's attention never leaves them.

She continues talking excitedly but thankfully doesn't make a scene like Frido.

"I knew for months you'd be a great match," she says proudly, yet another to correctly predict it.

Magda rolls her eyes at the declaration. Hiding a bashful smile in her shoulder all the same.

"Jeez were we really that obvious?" Pernille asks, baffled at how everyone they've told so far called it.

"Yeah, most of the team actually already assumed you're dating."

That gets Magda's attention.

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, the ones we're not that close with. For weeks now. It's only our friends who know you well enough to expect you'd tell us, that knew it hadn't happened yet, so we didn't say anything."

Pernille looks to Frido, who shrugs her shoulders before answering.

"I mean, I've definitely heard a few people mention it."

"And you didn't bother to correct them?"

She laughs at that.

"I did at first, but honestly P they wouldn't believe me. Our friend group barely did."

It takes Pernille a moment to process.

Well, that's... more widespread than she had imagined.

She knew a few would suspect it, especially since Frido was so sure.

But to hear the whole team had known.

Well, assumed.

And just... accepted it?

It takes a pressure off Pernille's shoulders that she didn't realize she'd been carrying.

It wasn't a fear as such, but more an awareness.

That homophobia exists in the world, and this relationship could be the first time she's exposed to it.

It briefly crossed her mind.

She didn't dwell or anything, she just wanted to be prepared.

But then again, the more she thinks about it... Sweden is a liberal country.

Women's football, in general, is a very accepting environment.

In light of Jennie's revelations, Pernille feels extra lucky.

She doesn't have a problem with liking a girl.

But it certainly makes life easier that the people around her don't have a problem with it either.

One less thing to worry about.

This team is her second family, she cares about their opinions.

Having their support further galvanises her self-acceptance.

To the point where she wonders what she was ever afraid of, all those weeks ago.

When they walk inside, they end up congregating around Magda and Frido's lockers in the far corner.

While Frido wasn't going to tell anyone, Jennie had no such reservations.

The girls don't even mind, training was finished for the day, the professional armours could crumble.

Word travels fast.

It was news.

As some of their other close friends wander over to join them, curious what the impromptu gathering is about, Pernille finds one thing particularly amusing.

It's just how little Jennie has to say.

"It finally happened," elicits immediate reactions.

The way heads whip to look at them, eyes wide and excited smiles knowing exactly what she's talking about.

They're pulled into tight hugs, with heartfelt declarations of how happy everyone is for them.

There's some whoops and even a couple of wolf whistles.

Pernille turns to glare at the culprit, finding Frido guilty lowering her fingers with a wink.

When she looks at Magda, she's an endearing combination of happy and helpless.

The blush has made it's way to the very tips of her ears.

She's graciously smiling at all the well wishes, having absolutely no idea how to handle the overwhelming attention.

Pernille feels the same.

It's like when someone sings happy birthday to you.

It's a lovely gesture, but at a certain stage, you kinda start to wish it was over. Simply because of the intensity of the spotlight on you.

Thankfully, the exhaustion starts to catch up with them all.

Once the buzz dies down, and they've been adequately teased, they shower and head home.

A quick grocery run and the trio find themselves eating lunch at the Swedes apartment in no time.

They dissect the events of the day.

Probably the opposite of how they expected it to unfold but thankfully everything worked itself out.

But Pernille still couldn't fathom how many people knew.

Frido swears she didn't start it, but admits as it progressed, she did vaguely entertain the conversations but played dumb when asked for any insider info.

"Client confidentiality," she says playfully to Magda, who sticks her tongue out in return.

"How did it become such a thing?" Pernille continues to wonder out loud, still surprised that basically everyone knew.

"I have two theories," Frido pitches.

"Shoot."

"You're popular," she explains. "Everyone likes you both already. And it was clear you cared about each other. So I think they saw how happy you made one another as it was, and just kinda started rooting for you to be happy together."

Pernille's mulls over how plausible it is.

"If that's true, just how obvious was it from our interactions?"

Frido gives her a pitiful look.

"Honey, even your surgeon thought Magda was your girlfriend after ten minutes of watching you together, does that not say it all?"

Pernille blushes at the mortifying memory.

"She what?"

Shit. She forgot they never told Magda.

Frido does the honours.

"One look at all your fussing over blondie here and the Doc pegged you as the concerned girlfriend. You should've seen P's face when she said it, she looked like she was going to faint," Frido is enjoying this way too much, laughing heartily as she recalls the memory.

Pernille supposes it's revenge for all they put her through.

"But that was like 3 months ago," Magda looks sceptical.

"It was. And you weren't even single yet, so you probably didn't realize you were doing it. Just imagine how much worse it got when you figured your shit out and really started pining."

Magda looks a bit rattled at the thought.

"Fuck."

"Mmhmm."

"OK, and your second theory," Pernille interrupts.

Frido laughs to herself before answering.

"People were bored," she says flatly.

"You already know gossip is the best part of training, besides the actual football. Everyone's love life is discussed daily. So combine two of them and you have the biggest scandal since Magda went wild and fucked up her voice in Thailand," Frido's laughing before she even finishes the sentence, dodging slaps from Magda.

She doesn't like to be reminded. She's had to live with the consequences of that night of partying every time she's opened her mouth since.

Pernille hides her own smile behind her hand, fearing retaliation if she's caught laughing.

Frido manages to distract them by adding a final argument to her theory.

"Plus you guys weren't with us most of the time so it was easy to talk about you. No offence."

"No offence," Magda parrots back in a mocking voice.

She's clearly still trying to get her head around it too.

They were in their own little bubble for so long. Now that it's burst, it's hard to accept they'd been so oblivious to what everyone else could see.

Love really is blind.

Eventually, Magda says exactly what Pernille's thinking about all of this.

"That's it? Those are your theories?"

Frido looks mock offended.

"Hey I said I had theories, I never said they were good."

She has to duck under Magda's latest attempt to slap some sense into her.

"Nah but seriously. I honestly think you're overestimating how much people cared. Like yeah, our friends talked about it probably since after the injuries, but the rest of the team only mentioned it once or twice last month when they all decided to believe you were already dating. Then they just kinda left it at that."

That makes more sense.

"By the way Jennie described it, you'd swear they were having daily news updates," Magda rolls her eyes at the drama of it all.

Frido nods her agreement.

"You know she has a flair for the dramatic, take it with a pinch of salt. Besides she was excited, she had just found out. She's really happy for you. We all are."

It's as sincere a statement as Frido is capable of.

Pernille is touched. When she's about to say something heartfelt in response, Frido does what she does best.

She ruins it.

"So when's the wedding? And how do we decide which of you I'm going to be the maid of honour for?"

Their groans give her all the satisfaction in the world.

They're never going to live this down.

After another hour or so of teasing, she bails to go see Tom when he finishes work.

They find themselves alone once again.

In a desperate attempt to help their bodies regain some energy, Magda offers to make protein smoothies.

Subconsciously licking her lips at the thought, Pernille notices the skin feels a little dry.

Could be dehydration from today's workout. Or maybe it's the salt from all the sweating.

Whatever the reason, she better intervene before they crack.

God forbid she can't kiss Magda.

She spent long enough not doing that, she doesn't plan on returning to it.

"Do you have lip balm?"

"Beside my bed, top drawer."

She wanders down the hall, gently pushing open the door to let herself in.

Since they're mostly at her apartment now, it's been a while since she's had a reason to be in Magda's room.

She takes a moment to re-appreciate the decor.

The very clean layout and neutral colour scheme, offset wonderfully by little bursts of Magda's personality throughout the room.

The abstract painting hanging on one wall. The guitar neatly propped up against the other.

Even the little pride flag sitting on the corner of her desk with the meticulously aligned stationary.

It's very Magda.

But what really catches Pernille's eye the most, is the new addition to the photo frame collection on her windowsill.

There's the one with her family at Christmas. One when she was younger with her childhood best friend. One of her and Frido playing underage for Sweden. And finally, the latest arrival.

Pernille's a little shocked to see her own face staring back.

It's the picture they took the day in the park after Pernille almost knocked herself out.

Magda's smiling widely at the camera, while Pernille plants a kiss on her cheek.

If you squint, you can even see the lump on the side of her forehead.

She runs an affectionate brush of fingers along the edge of the frame, remembering the magical feeling of that day.

It makes her heart flutter that Magda clearly wanted to remember it too.

Pernille scoffs fondly under her breath at the cuteness of it all.

God Magda really is such a softie.

Pulling open the drawer, she finds out just how true that statement is.

The tube of lip balm is there.

But so is something else.

She almost doesn't recognize it.

Carefully tucked into a corner, is the drawing she did during the colouring competition in Thailand.

She can't decide which is worse, the crayon masterpiece, the lipstick stain, or the cheesy caption.

She cringes as she re-reads it.

'To Magda, my biggest fan, love Pernille"

That message is long forgotten when she realizes a more important fact.

And the significance of it.

Magda kept it.

All this time.

Something so worthless to literally everyone else, but Magda made it special to her.

Special enough to keep it close.

Pernille's heart is genuinely racing.

Her chest tightens with the overwhelming emotion.

In her exhausted state, she has a brief urge to cry.

She doesn't, but wow.

That's some sappy shit Magda.

Pernille adores her even more for it.

Skipping out to the kitchen, she giddily slides up beside her, close enough that when Magda turns, she falls into a surprise kiss.

Pernille would be amused that Magda doesn't even question it, but her focus is on something else.

She leans away and pulls the drawing from behind her back, holding it in front of her face to gauge Magda's expression.

For what feels like the thousandth time today, she's blushing.

"Oh... You uh... You found it."

"I did," Pernille's raised eyebrows and smirk are enough to get Magda to elaborate.

"Uh yeah. I kept it as like, a cute souvenir at first. But then, as things started to change between us, it kinda took on a different meaning for me."

Pernille's smirk falls and her eyes soften.

She's searching for the words to tenderly express how sweet that is, but instead settles on a kiss to show her instead.

As good an option as any.

They're cuddling on the couch that evening, enthralled in a serial killer documentary when Pernille's phone rings.

She almost falls off the couch in her panic.

"It's your Dad! What do I do?"

Magda looks perplexed at the reaction.

"Answer it?"

Thanks Magda, never thought of that.

"What if he knows we kissed?"

Pernille knows it's unreasonable.

But in her head, these phone calls have now gone from a casual chat with her friend's dad to speaking with the father of the girl she's dating.

Higher stakes.

"He won't, I haven't told him yet. And even if he did it'd be fine, so you might as well answer."

Pernille closes her eyes and accepts the call on the last ring.

Her face is on fire almost instantly.

She knows it's not actually 'meeting the parents' but it sure feels like it. The dynamic switch feels significant to her.

But Magda's dad, bless him, is his chirpy self.

Chatting about league results, how she's feeling back at training. How her own family is.

At some point, Magda activates speakerphone so she can listen in.

And of course, that's when he chooses to change topics.

"So... How's Magda?"

Pernille impresses herself with how even she keeps her voice to answer.

"She's good."

There's a pause, where he's clearly awaiting elaboration.

Pernille doesn't offer any.

"Good? That's it?"

"Uh... Yeah. She's Um... happy to be back at training too."

She kicks herself at the sudden inability to hold a normal conversation.

"I bet she is. You've been on a heck of a journey together these last couple of months huh?"

"Yep," she wants to say more. Desperately. But her brain isn't cooperating with coherent thoughts.

Magda is no help either, watching on in amusement as Pernille bombs.

"Well, at least you too got even closer during it. That has to be a positive to come from all of this."

Pernille laughs at just how true that is.

"Yeah we're really lucky we had each other, it made everything a little easier."

"Definitely."

He pauses for a moment, and Pernille wonders if she should fill the silence.

Then he continues, a slightly different tone than before.

It's softer.

Almost a sigh.

"She talks about you a lot you know," Magda's eyes narrow at that, eyes glued to the phone and leaning closer to hear the next sentence.

Pernille's heart thumps at the thought of Magda talking to her family about her.

"It's been a tough couple of months and I was worried how she'd deal with the injury, but it surprised us all how positive she was. From the sounds of things, you played a big part in that. So thank you."

He sounds so sincere. So genuinely thankful. But Pernille can't accept praise she doesn't really deserve.

"Well I'm not sure I can take much credit, she was the one that kept me smiling."

She holding Magda's eyes as she says it.

Because it's true.

She means it.

Her support through it has been incredible. From the surgery to the rehab. She's been a rock.

"Well, regardless, I appreciate it. She's definitely been happier than usual lately."

Magda's eyes roll of their own accord when Pernille raises her eyebrows and point herself as the source of happiness.

"Yeah I noticed that too," he can definitely hear the smile in her voice.

"So keep doing whatever you're doing, it's working."

What an odd statement.

There's a hint of something else in his voice.

It almost sounds like... Amusement?

Apparently Magda notices it too, tilting her head in confusion and staring at the phone.

But before she can question it further, he's saying his goodbyes.

"Tell Magda I said hello, I'm sure you'll be talking to her before I call her later. Look after yourself kid, and good luck at training again tomorrow."

The call ends.

Silence ensues.

That was one of the more bizarre phone calls she's had with him.

She just lets it go, instead turning to Magda with a more pressing topic on her mind.

"So... You talk about me a lot, hmm?"

Pernille is starting to learn, that flirting with Magda goes one of two ways.

Sarcasm or flattery.

On extreme ends of the scale.

Pernille never knows which one to expect.

And is never prepared for just how well Magda can execute both.

She either leaves Pernille laughing, or speechless.

This time, it's the latter.

And Pernille had no idea it was coming.

"Of course I talk about you a lot. Why wouldn't I?"

She scoots closer and finds Pernille's hand to hold.

Magda stares deeply into her eyes for a moment before continuing, planting a soft kiss on her cheek.

She begins to mumble compliments against her skin.

"You're brilliant."

Kiss.

"You're talented"

Kiss.

"You're smart."

Kiss.

"You're beautiful."

Kiss.

She's worked her way down until her lips are on Pernille's neck.

One hand is on the side of her face. The other is a tangled with Pernille's on her lap.

When she pulls away just enough to look into her eyes, there's such a soft intensity Pernille sucks in a breath.

"And I think you're amazing."

She's whispering now.

"So Pernille..."

Wait.

What.

What.

Where is this going?

"I planned on making some big gesture or whatever, but I really just don't want to wait any longer."

Pernille registers nothing except the hammering of her hearth and Magda's very sweet smile in the low evening light.

Were her eyes always this green?

Magda takes a moment to glance at her lips, before returning to her eyes.

Another dramatic pause.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Well fuck.

How is she always so smooth.

She's never this spontaneous.

But even when she doesn't have a plan, she has a plan.

If Pernille was cool, she'd respond with something witty like 'do you even need to ask?'

But she's in too deep.

She can't focus on anything other than Magda.

The way she's able to hold eye contact and keep smiling, not a trace of nerves on her face.

It's clear she already knows the answer too.

There's certainty in her confidence.

Pernille almost forgets to answer, getting lost in the way Magda's staring into her eyes with pure adoration.

The gentle brush of Magda's thumb on her cheek keeps her grounded in the moment.

Her brain can only chant a single word over and over.

All she has to do is say it.

So she does.

"Yes."

She falls back on the couch with a giggle when Magda jumps her and closes the distance.

They somehow manage not to break the kiss, despite the stupid smiles.

Eventually they tone it down, the tension dissolving into cuddling instead.

Wanting to be as close as possible to each other, Magda lies half on top of her, half curled into her side. Her arms are wrapped tightly around her waist, head bobbing with every rise and fall of Pernille's breathing.

Pernille plays with her hair. Drawing lazy circles and soothingly scratching her scalp.

She has to crane her neck to see Magda's eyes closed, peaceful.

"I was going to ask you during our date tomorrow," Pernille says quietly, breaking the silence.

Magda opens her eyes and tilts her chin up to look at her.

"Pernille, you haven't even asked me on a date tomorrow," she's teasing.

"I was getting around to it. I wanted it to be a surprise, but you just couldn't wait, could you?"

The fake annoyance in her voice is betrayed by the smile as she says it.

"I couldn't," Magda says honestly. "We waited long enough already didn't we?"

Pernille hums her approval at that.

"So, are you going to ask me?"

"Ask you what?"

"On our date?"

"Nope, you ruined the surprise. It's cancelled."

"Pernilleeee," the whine was probably enough, but she produces puppy dog eyes for good measure.

It works.

Pernille sighs.

"Fine. Magda, will you go on a date with me?"

Magda doesn't miss a beat.

"No sorry, I already have a girlfriend."

Pernille giggles at that comeback.

"Magda I'm your girlfriend,"

She's surprised when Magda squeezes her tighter, a delighted squeal leaving her mouth.

"What?"

"I just wanted to hear you say it."

Pernille rolls her eyes.

Magda finally gives up the facade.

"Yes, I'll absolutely go on a date with you."

But now it's Pernille's turn for sarcasm.

"Great," she says it deadpan.

"Hey!"

"What?" She laces her tone with disinterest.

"Sound more like excited," she's pouting.

"Yay."

"That's no way to treat your girlfriend."

Pernille has the perfect response.

"I've never had a girlfriend before, so you'll have to bear with me."

That gets them both laughing.

"I'll teach you. I think you'll find I'm the best girlfriend ever."

"Oh really?"

"Mmhmm. Your parents are going to love me."

Pernille laughs again.

"They already do. Ever since you put on a show when they visited after my surgery. Mom still talks about it," it's the truth.

"They ain't seen nothing yet. Wait until I actually try to impress them," she looked excited at the challenge.

"I still have to tell them," Pernille says quietly.

Magda straightens up a little to listen more attentively.

It's a serious conversation, so she drops the smirk.

"How do you think it'll go?"

The million-dollar question.

Pernille's thought about it a lot now.

And the more she thought about it, the more sure she was.

She boiled it down to one thing.

Her parents love her.

Unconditionally.

And that's all that matters.

"I think it'll be OK. They won't have a problem with it, but I think they'll just be really surprised."

Magda nods.

"And your sister?"

"Same thing. She'll be cool, but she just won't see it coming either."

Magda nods again.

"I'll do it sometime this week. Skype is probably the best option. I won't see them until the international break next month so I can't wait that long to do it in person."

Magda nods again.

She stares at Pernille's face, analysing.

It only takes her a second to see it.

"You're scared," there's no accusation in her voice, just understanding.

Pernille sighs.

"A little, more nervous than anything. It'll be a lot for them to process."

But they know Magda.

They adore her.

Plus, she's now officially in a relationship with her.

All these things will hopefully make it easier to explain.

It's going to be new to them.

But she's genuinely optimistic it's nothing to be concerned about.

She moves to reassure Magda not to start worrying either.

"They absolutely love you, so I think it'll that'll make it easier for them to adjust. They know how amazing you are, so I think they'll be happy for me."

Magda smiles at that.

"Well, I'm pretty sure my dad already likes you more than he likes me. So he'll be over the moon when I tell him. Same with mom, she thinks you're a great influence on me"

Pernille knows what Magda's doing. She's distracting her. With praise and reassurance.

"And I think my sister is starting to suspect something. I sent her the pictures from the gala and all she did was compliment you. 'God Magda, Pernille's so pretty, isn't she? Don't you agree? And she's so fit. Look at those muscles. Do you see them? ' So needless to say I think she'll be quite excited to be proven right as well."

The idea of one Eriksson forcing the other to admit they think Pernille is pretty, has to be one of the funniest things she's heard in a while.

Noticing Pernille's hearty laugh, Magda's smile widens, delighted to have found the perfect topic to distract her.

Naturally, she then tries to catch her off guard.

"So... Are you going to tell me what we're doing for our date tomorrow?"

The switch of topic almost gives Pernille whiplash.

But she's on her toes enough to not give anything away.

"No, I told you it was a surprise."

"Are you sure?"

What kind of question is that?

"Yes, I'm sure."

Magda drops her voice at the same time her lips hit Pernille's neck.

"Are you sure you can't be... Persuaded?"

Dirty tactics from Magda.

No matter how good it feels Pernille won't reward that type of bribery.

"You're so sneaky."

"Says the one keeping secrets."

She doesn't really have a comeback for that.

So she tilts Magda's chin up to kiss her properly instead.

But she's not finished having fun yet.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

Magda looks at her earnestly and nods, clearly expecting something profound.

"I'm going to kick your ass tomorrow."

Magda's confused smile makes Pernille laugh.

"When?"

"On our date."

"Pernilleeeee tell me!"

"Never."

She deserves the tickling attack that comes her way.

But not even that can make her spill the plan.

She manages to launch counter-attacks on Magda's weak spots.

They're laughing so much they don't even hear Frido come home.

She finds them like that, wrestling on the couch in fits of giggles.

Even when they notice her, they're too stubborn to stop.

She has a massive smile on her face, phone out snapping a picture that Pernille has no doubt is going to be unflattering.

She doesn't care.

She's too busy laughing with her girlfriend.

A sentence she could never have anticipated saying just over three months ago.

Yet here she is.

Life has the best surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to put smiles on some of your faces with this one. I think we all need a little fluff in our lives, so let me know what you think, and thanks for reading ❤️
> 
> P. S. I'll do more typo checks later, just wanted to get it out to you.


	14. Never Knew A Touch Could Mean So Much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :)
> 
> Firstly thank you all again for the amazing support on the last chapter! The quality of comments and commentary on the story blows me away everytime!
> 
> Thanks to everyone interacting on tumblr (@cupidwriter), it's the daily nudging that made this possible :)
> 
> This is the longest chapter yet, some important things covered, so I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading. 
> 
> 🖤X

There's a certain melody to it. 

The sounds of children playing. 

Their uniquely unapologetic spectrum of emotion. 

The kaleidoscope of octaves. 

How the timbre of their voices will rise and fall without warning.

It's wonderfully raw. 

A pureness that often brings a smile to Magda's face. 

But often is not always.

Today, she faces the darker side of youth. 

The wall of noise hits the second they step inside.

Screeching.

She sets her jaw at the assault on her senses and focuses on the tug of Pernille's hand excitedly guiding her down the aisles of Linköping's biggest toy shop. 

Magda's sure they look out of place, hair still wet from training and dressed head to toe in causal sports gear.

Adults in a sea of children and their parents. 

She still doesn't know why they're here.

On a particularly bad day, nonetheless. 

They appear to have gotten unlucky, arriving in the midst of a ferocious sale. There are children everywhere. 

As she follows Pernille deeper into the chaos, she has to ask.

"This is your surprise?" 

Normally one to pride herself as a lover of children, Magda can't help the wince when a toddler lets a high pitched scream particularly close to them. 

Pernille gives an apologetic smile, rubbing a comforting thumb along Magda's hand and leading her towards their secret objective. 

For a moment, the sensation of her girlfriend holding her hand in public drowns out the turmoil around them. 

It's nice. Grounding. 

Powerful enough to distract her for a second.

Magda doesn't immediately notice when a young boy appears at speed, rounding a display sharply only to run straight into her leg. His head connects with her thigh, but he just bounces off her and keeps running, entirely unfazed. 

Kids are wild.

A frantic father ungracefully follows suit, offering a litany of embarrassed apologies in his hopeless chase. 

Once her pity at his struggle subsides, the collision is enough to refocus her attention. 

Impatience is building. So she starts guessing.

"Are we getting Lego? Because that's very Danish of you."

"Nope."

"The new PlayStation? So I can destroy you in Fifa?"

"As if. But no."

"Go-karts?" 

A withering look tells her she's way off.

"A Barbie? So you can compete to see who's blonder?"

She deserves the retaliation, wincing at the dig of Pernille's nails into her hand.

"A new football?" 

She can hear the scoff. 

"Right, because it's not like we've already got ten at home." 

"Well tell me then!" 

Focused on the back of Pernille's head pleading for some type of clue, Magda walks right into her when she comes to an abrupt stop. 

"We're here." 

She follows Pernille's eye line, looking up to find a colourful wall of board games.

Shelves and shelves of them. 

The nerd in her jumps out, excitement causing her to squeeze Pernille's hand and swing it between them. 

"Board games!?" 

Pernille smiles wide, clearly pleased Magda seems to like the idea. 

"Yeah! I thought we could pick a few new ones to play tonight."

Magda eagerly nods her approval. The competitiveness in her veins already awakening. She'll always jump at the chance to win something, especially against Pernille. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you'd cheat."

"Cheat?"

"I guarantee you would have Googled the best strategies and studied tactics or some shit, so I didn't give you the chance."

... It's true. 

She absolutely would have. 

Part of her hates that Pernille is onto her competitive tactics, but the other half is secretly smitten that Pernille knows her so well.

"Which ones are we getting?"

Magda's eyes are already roaming the overwhelming selection. 

"I figured we could choose two each."

"OK... but don't choose ones you already know you're good at."

"What do you mean?" 

"I haven't forgotten about the pool incident." 

"Get over it!" Pernille gets more exasperated every time Magda brings it up. 

Which is often. 

"I'll never underestimate you again."

Choosing proves to be a challenge. 

Wary of losing an entire evening stuck in a campaign of Monopoly, they both go for relatively simple games in the end.

Connect 4 is first off the shelf. Followed quickly by Operation. A classic. 

Buckaroo and Scrabble make up their final two selections.

They're about to carry their respective choices to the checkout when Pernille makes a last-minute addition.

Oh no. 

Twister.

Reaching up on her tiptoes, she hooks a fingertip around the edge of a box to knock it off the high shelf. 

For a moment, Magda is actually impressed. 

To Pernille's credit, she catches it. 

But at the cost of dropping the other two with a graceless clatter.

She looks sharply at Magda to stop laughing, before whipping her head around to see if anyone else saw her clumsiness, an embarrassed blush already flooding her cheeks.

In any other shop, it would have probably caused a scene. 

But here, Magda's already swept them up into her arms and they're heading to pay before anyone even notices.

Stuff flying off shelves is the least of anyone's problems today it seems.

While they're in the queue, it eventually gets the better of her. 

She has to ask. 

Purely in the interests of equality and not at all related to competitive disadvantage. 

"Why did you get to pick three when I only got two?"

She aims for nonchalance, to give the impression it's not a big deal.

Pernille sees right through it, offering an amused look that says she's well aware Magda is probably sulking. 

Still, she glances down to nod at the box in her hands, explaining as they move up to the checkout. 

"It's not for us. There's a team bonding night soon, isn't there? I think it'd be funny to see how they cope." 

She has a mischievous grin on her face, knowing full well the carnage that will bring.

Athletes are obsessed with winning. 

Obsessed with it. 

A physical game like this is guaranteed to be taken way too seriously. 

Magda can already picture the arguments.

But she's distracted from the thought when she finds herself in the middle of one.

Pernille insists on paying, because she 'organized the date,' so it's 'her date'. 

OK... somewhat flawed logic. 

Magda tries to argue that you sort of need two people for a date, so they should share the cost, but her girlfriend is stubborn. 

It's a losing battle, she's instead relegated to the consolation of carrying all the bags to the car as her contribution.

She makes a mental note to get her back on the next date. 

Then loves how easily she has that thought.

The next date.

The reality that Pernille's now her girlfriend.

Her. Girlfriend. 

And the fact they have a future together.

It keeps her smiling the whole way home. 

Once they start playing the games, it doesn't take long. 

Fifteen minutes in, they're fighting. 

The argument?

The sturdiness of the coffee table they're playing on in Pernille's apartment.

Magda's lost two games of Buckaroo in a row. 

With the game being best of five, defeat is staring her in the face.

She's convinced the table is unsteady. 

Or that Pernille is purposely nudging it. 

There's no way she set off the donkey that easily, she barely touched it.

"This is bullshit," she mumbles, picking the discarded cargo off the floor to begin the reset. 

She can't even look at Pernille. 

Seeing out of the corner of her eye how Pernille's arms shoot up in celebration every time she wins is enough. 

The smug expression would rub salt in the wounds.

Once she has reset the donkey, she does a thorough kicking of the table, searching for an answer to her theory. 

But the table doesn't budge.

In fact, she stubs her toes a little trying too hard to move it. 

She bites her tongue and sits back down, pretending neither her pride nor toes are hurt. 

She wins that one.

The comeback is on.

But Pernille senses victory, she only needs to win one out of the next two.

She starts talking shit about Magda's left-handedness. 

And other physical... Insults? 

"You're just too strong for your own good. Those big biceps must be your downfall."

Magda ignores her. Refusing to take the bait. 

She focuses solely on the game, only speaking to rhetorically coach the donkey not to buck.

Luckily for Magda, Pernille seems to have gotten distracted, perhaps having celebrated too early. 

She makes a mistake, forcing them to the deciding tiebreaker game. 

They're down to the last few turns. 

Her confidence grows with each successful turn, satisfied to have turned it around. 

Her momentum must have been cause for concern, Pernille has suddenly gone silent.

Whenever she glances over, she can't block out the thought of how adorable Pernille looks when she's concentrating. 

Forehead creased, tongue poking out. The slight squint to her eyes as she does her best to focus.

The cutest nemesis in history.

Which is a slight problem. 

Magda's so close to stealing the win, and maybe that's why she gets complacent. 

"Maybe it's a Swedish thing?" Pernille questions to herself.

The first thing she's said in a while. 

It's a quiet enough musing that it steals Magda's focus. 

Curiosity gets the better of her, so she asks. 

"What's a Swedish thing?"

Pernille turns, delighted to finally have Magda's attention. 

She leans in a fraction to answer.

Over-annunciating the word.

"Losing."

Magda should have known better than what she does next.

She lets it get to her. 

When she reaches to take her turn, the angry tremor in her fingers is enough to trigger the game on the first contact.

Pernille wins.

She managed to get Magda to self-destruct.

And now Pernille's on her knees bouncing on the couch beside her, squealing in victory.

She'd look cute doing it, if Magda wasn't busy seeing red. 

After that, the gloves are off. 

Magda's focus is fierce during Connect 4. She spots patterns in what Pernille tries to do each time, foiling it early and forcing her to think on the fly for the remaining games.

Magda gets lucky, but she's sure she just concentrated a bit harder and that's why she manages to win that best of five.

But it's not over yet. 

Where does that leave them? 

A draw.

To make things interesting, they decide to keep it to three games, this third one becoming a tiebreaker.

Unanimously electing to take the more exciting option, Operation wins, with Scrabble being left for a rainy day. 

It's a closely fought affair. 

But Magda learned from the past mistake of letting Pernille get in her head. 

This time, she's solid.

Steady breathing makes for a steady hand. 

She pulls out a couple of clutch turns when it matters, which seemed to deflate Pernille's confidence a little bit. 

It's so so close, and with the score at two a-piece it comes down to the fifth game.

Magda, somehow, sneaks it.

Her celebratory roar and fist pump were probably a bit too intense for the calm setting of the otherwise silent apartment.

But she's so proud of herself for mounting the comeback, she doesn't care. 

Pernille is just as sore of a loser as Magda would have been. 

As she gets off the couch, avoiding eye contact and semi-storming to the kitchen, Magda intercepts her, hooking a hand around her forearm before she gets away.

She obligingly turns, but very clearly would rather be anywhere else.

She hates losing. 

Hates it. 

Magda can feel the resentment rolling off her. 

It's the face of someone who knows how much Magda likes to gloat, actively dreading having to endure it. 

But Magda, not wanting to ruin the rest of the evening with Pernille pissed off at her, decides to surprise her instead.

Calming her excitement at winning, she tones down her demeanour a little. 

"Good game," she says it sincerely. 

Aware of how tense it is between them, she retires the victory smirk, choosing instead to show her respect with a solemn nod.

Pernille just nods in response. 

Face blank. 

Oh, she's 'mad' mad.

Speaking from the two years of competition between them, Magda's well aware just how long Pernille can hold a grudge.

If she's mad, she'll complain, whine, throw what could only be described as a tantrum, complete with the leg slapping that's normally reserved for reacting to shitty referees. 

But when she's 'mad' mad and completely outraged at losing, she does the opposite. 

She goes frighteningly silent. 

The art of the cold shoulder.

It can go on for hours before she finally thaws. 

Magda doesn't like the thought of dealing with that for the evening.

Luckily...

Unlike the previous times, she now has just the thing to fix it. 

Knowing Pernille is a sucker for sportsmanship, Magda stretches out a hand. 

Pernille reluctantly accepts, eyeing it suspiciously before grabbing it in a light shake.

Barely there, but it's there. 

Just as she's about to let go and turn away, Magda tightens her grip and gives the hand a quick tug, catching Pernille off balance. 

Magda's free hand is already there to catch her, pulling Pernille down into her lap. 

For someone as clumsy as Pernille, it actually goes rather smoothly.

Her lips fall onto Magda's, and just like that, she gives in.

The tension seems to melt, and Magda can feel her relax into the kiss, arms coming up to wrap around the back of her neck and keep her there. 

They stay like that for a couple of minutes, both happy enough to put the rivalry behind them. 

Magda, especially pleased at the outcome, ends up totally losing herself in the kiss.

It's only when she feels a hand slips under her tee-shirt and traces the sensitive skin along her ribs, her brain registers the intense reaction of her body. 

Gradually coming back to the present, she becomes acutely aware of just how worked up she's getting.

They've been in a couple of these situations the last few days. Things get... Heated. Desire creeps in. Hands Roam. Touches lose their innocence. 

It was normally an unspoken thing that it wasn't going to escalate yet.

But this time, Magda's reaching a breaking point.

The adrenaline of winning is probably partly to blame.

But really, there's only one culprit. 

Pernille on top of her like this has a certain effect. 

Laboured breathing, flushed skin, a single need consuming all her thoughts.

When her logic creeps back in, she has no choice.

It's the last thing in the word she wants to do, but it's the right thing.

She has to check. 

She turns her head away just enough to break the kiss.

When Pernille pulls back to look at her, the blue of her eyes is almost unrecognizably darker.

The sight does little to help Magda think pure thoughts. 

She absolutely hates to be the one stopping it, but she needs clarity before she can let it escalate.

She looks between Pernille's eyes for a hint, but there's nothing there except mild confusion and desire.

Magda takes a moment to find the right way to word this. 

"Sorry, but I needed to stop... Otherwise..." she let's out a deep exhale. 

It's all she needs to say. 

Pernille seems to take in Magda's frazzled state and understands.

"Oh... Sorry..." she murmurs sheepishly, dipping her head with a very coy smile.

Something in her tone tells Magda she's not the slightest bit sorry.

In fact, she sounds rather proud of herself. 

"Well, you certainly don't need to apologise for that... Ever... But I just don't want to let things get out of hand if you're not sure." 

"I am sure," she furrows her brow for a moment, working her jaw as she too tries to find the right words, "I just... Wasn't planning on it today? Like not right now? Does that make sense?" 

"Of course," Magda plants a kiss of reassurance on her jawline, continuing to try regaining some semblance of composure. 

But Pernille feels the need to explain. 

"I just hadn't like, mentally prepared, so now I don't want to rush it..." 

"Me too," Magda nods her agreement, this time planting a soft kiss on her cheek.

She turns her attention to the chain hanging off Pernille's neck, toying with it affectionately. 

"Plus..." Pernille trails off, waiting until Magda looks at her. 

"I haven't shaved my legs today..." she says it conspiratorially. 

Magda bursts out laughing. 

"Here was I thinking you were nervous that it was your first time with a girl," she shakes her head fondly. 

Pernille's quiet enough for a moment before she answers, more serious yet also more sincere. 

"Well that too, but I thought about it..."

She trails off, waiting for Magda's prompt. 

"And?"

She gets shy again for a second, shrugging her shoulders and twirling a piece of Magda's hair in order to avoid her eyes.

A deep breath and she looks up with a clear gaze.

"But it's you... So..."

She gives a final shrug, as if that's all she needs to say.

And it is. 

Magda understands. 

"You trust me," she smiles. 

"Completely." 

"Good. It'll be amazing."

Magda's back planting quick kisses along Pernille's jawline. 

"Mmm."

"Whenever you're ready, just say the words OK?"

"OK." 

"Oh, and give me a heads up when you do decide." 

Pernille looks at her quizzically. 

"Why?" 

"So I can make it special."

Another suspicious look. 

"What does that mean?" 

Magda's not about to show her hand that easily. 

"You'll have to wait and see."

Pernille tries to roll her eyes, but the smile spreads across her face regardless.

Magda leans back up to kiss her but pulls away after a few seconds when she notices what's happening. 

"And not to rush you but... Please don't take too long..." 

"Why is that?" 

Magda's hand seizes the stray one that had unconsciously restarted it's dangerous caresses under her tee-shirt. 

"If you keep touching me like that, I won't be able to control myself," she's threatening, but it sounds more like a desperate plea.

Pernille, with a devilish smirk, curls her fingers as the hand retracts, sinfully dragging her nails down Magda's abs. 

Magda closes her eyes, tilts her head back on the couch to take deep breaths, and tries to control her already increasing heartbeat. 

The breath of Pernille's giggle in the shell of her ear just before she stands up, does little to help her efforts. 

Unsurprisingly, Magda finds the struggle doesn't fully subside. But now that they've actually talked about it, she's confident she won't have long to wait.

Plus, there's plenty to distract her. 

Like the conversation later that night. 

They're talking again about telling their families when Pernille decides to tell her sister first. 

Magda thinks it's a great idea. 

Pernille's very close with Louise, they're always in each other's corners. 

It's the perfect first step. 

Pernille surprises her by deciding to do it there and then. 

"Now?" 

Pernille barely hears her, already scrolling to the correct contact. 

"Yeah, now! Otherwise, I won't stop thinking about it. Might as well do it now." 

Magda doesn't question it, just sits quietly out of shot and holds Pernille's hand while she greets Louise and wastes no time catching up.

Magda's own heart is pounding when Pernille begins to fidget and switches topics.

She wants this to go well for her. 

Pernille takes a deep breath and begins. 

"So... You know Magda, right?"

Magda blows air through her nose instead of laughing at that opening statement, not wanting to distract from the moment. 

Louise has no such worries. She lets out a loud laugh. 

"Yes, of course I know Magda." 

Pernille cringes at herself and rubs at the back of her neck. 

A nervous tick. 

Magda squeezes her other hand, as a little reminder. 

Pernille squeezes back and continues. 

"Yeah... So... We um... We're uh..." 

She's blushing already.

But Louise is patient. Magda can see her open expression from here. She listening attentively. 

"You..." she gently coaxes. 

Pernille nods and does what Magda could only describe as ripping off the bandaid. 

"We're together." 

There's a beat of silence where that statement sits for a moment, before the sound breaks through the phone speaker. 

"Awww Pernille! That's great!" 

Magda peeks at the screen again.

She's nodding with a wide smile, hands clutching her heart. 

Pernille's smiling now too, still looking very shy.

"Yeah, she's my girlfriend," she adds, just to clarify.

Her sister just laughs softly again. 

"I got that part, dummy. I'm so happy for you! She's great, I think you're a really good match."

"Thanks." 

There's a pause where they're just smiling at each other through the screen. 

But then... 

"I'll be honest... I kinda suspected it." 

Pernille goes from shy to offended in an instant. 

"Bullshit. NO way. There's no way." 

"I swear! Well I didn't know for sure, but it definitely crossed my mind a few times." 

"Why?" 

"You realize how much you talk about her, right? Not only that, but the way you talk about her. Magda this. Magda that."

Pernille's just shaking her head, still somewhat in denial. 

"That, and then the pictures. You always looked a little bit too cosy in any pictures you sent recently."

Magda watches the exchange with rapt attention. 

She'll admit, this is not how she saw this going.

But that's not a bad thing.

Louise presses further with her questions now, excitement causing her voice to gain volume. 

"When did you get together?" 

This is where it gets good. 

Pernille seems reluctant to say.

Magda understands why. Apparently everyone else knew for months, and they've only been together less than a week. 

It's kind of embarrassing. 

But it's also actually kind of funny if you think about it. 

Pernille mumbles an answer eventually. 

"Saturday." 

"I can't hear you with this connection P, speak up." 

"Saturday," she repeats more clearly this time. 

Louise definitely heard because Magda can see the way her eyes widen before she starts laughing hard.

"Seriously?" 

"Yep." 

"Oh wow, you must've had it bad for months." 

"Shut up." 

"Am I wrong?" 

"... No." 

"Well then! But seriously P, I'm happy for you." 

"Thank you."

"I suppose you haven't told mom and dad yet," she says with a teasing tone but the understating smile offsets it. 

Pernille shakes her head.

"Not yet, maybe tomorrow."

Louise nods. 

"Nervous?"

"A little." 

Magda admires the way Louise softens her voice a little to offer gentle reassurance. 

"It'll be fine. I mean obviously they'll probably be a bit surprised, but they'll be so happy for you. Definitely." 

"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. I'll let you know how it goes."

"Please do. And tell Magda I said hello."

"I will."

Just as Pernille's about to say goodbye, Louise has a final thing to say. 

"I can't believe you're doing this to me." 

Magda is just as confused as Pernille looks. 

"Doing what?" 

"Making me go to the gym." 

"What?" 

"Yeah, how else am I meant to give Magda the 'scary protective big sister' talk if she's five times stronger than me. How am I supposed to intimidate her?" 

It gets Pernille laughing fully, and Magda appreciates how Louise managed to lighten the mood even further.

Sisters. Can't beat them. 

As Pernille's finishing up the call, Magda's still amused at the idea of Louise, one of the most gentle people she's ever met, trying to be in any way threatening.

Pernille's ten times lighter after. Almost giddy with relief, she talks through the movie they attempt to watch. 

Normally one to scold breaches of her 'cinema' rules, Magda lets it slide.

Telling people can be daunting. 

Magda knows from her own experience, it takes courage to be yourself. 

She's proud of Pernille for taking the first step. 

So she hugs her tightly and makes sure to tell her as much. 

Wednesday is an afternoon gym session and evening training, so Magda reluctantly heads back to her apartment early that morning to run a few errands.

Shopping, mainly. She made sure to go to the supermarket with the flower section.

When Pernille arrives to pick her and Frido up for training, they hear the car before they see it. 

She's blasting 'Happy' by Pharrell. 

Someone's in a good mood. 

Frido catches Magda's eye with a bewildered look at the unusual arrival.

Magda doesn't have the answer, so she just shrugs. 

They hop into the car and Pernille yells a 'hello', head bouncing and drumming on the steering wheel as they pull away. 

Frido doesn't question it, taking the lead vocals and shaking Magda's shoulder when she wasn't singing loudly enough for the chorus.

Once the song ends, Pernille turns down the radio with a joyful 'woo'. 

Then she drops the bomb. 

"So... I told my parents earlier." 

Well, that was quick.

Faster than Magda expected. 

Frido offers a helpful dramatic gasp, but refrains from commenting. Dying to know but not wanting to pry. She's a master at it.

It's an important topic, so Magda sits up a little in her seat before asking. 

"Yeah?"

Pernille leaves them in suspense a couple of moments before divulging details.

"They were shocked. As expected." 

She's smiling softy, and the breath Magda hadn't realized she'd been holding slips out.

She's still smiling. So it couldn't have gone too badly. 

"So yeah they were shocked when I said 'I have a girlfriend.'" 

She lets a quick laugh. 

"Surprisingly, not so shocked when I told them it was Magda."

She rolls her eyes as she says it, and now they all join in the laughter. 

"So they're OK about it?" Magda gently prods. 

"Mmhmm. Yeah. It was weird, there was a lot of awkward silence while they tried to figure out the 'supportive' things to say. I mean, I expected it, it's new territory for them too. But once the shock wore off they were actually really happy for me." 

"Pernille! That's great."

"Fantastic," Frido echos from the backseat. 

"I know. I'm so happy. I think it made it easier for them too that they know you, and already love you, so it was basically built-in 'approval' from them in a way."

"Yeah Magda you've always been an ass-kisser. You've probably been buttering up the in-laws for months." 

It takes skill for Magda to awkwardly bend her arm back far enough to slap Frido's leg, but she manages it. 

"Ow! It's true! So does that mean we're celebrating tonight? I need something to motivate me through this," she whines the last part as the training ground comes into view. 

"Absolutely, Sushi on me," Pernille's beaming.

Frido does a celebratory shimmy. 

"You're a god."

Watching the way Pernille dominates training that evening, Magda would have to agree. 

The happiness of having her parents support seems to have translated into boundless energy. 

She's back playing with a confidence Magda hasn't seen since before the injury. 

It's a beautiful sight, and Magda feels her own performance improving in an effort to match her girlfriend's. 

They have dinner with Frido that night as promised, and all crash on the couch for a couple of hours, relaxed and shouting answers at game shows. 

The rest of the schedule this week is kind.

The three of them stay up late, knowing they only have a light afternoon session tomorrow, with Friday off. 

Magda has to admit, it's a good first week for them to be back from injury. They're still finding it a little harder than everyone else, but the improvements are clear and the sharpness is increasing with every ball kicked.

She knows it's probably a bit optimistic to hope to be playing the match this weekend, but they train hard anyway, using it as something to work towards.

Pernille goes back to her own apartment the next morning for a couple of hours, citing chores and needing fresh gear as the reason. 

They text back and forth a bit, before deciding to head to training early, wanting to go over a couple of drills in advance. 

The offer for Frido to join them gets shot down at the first mentions of 'training' and 'early', so Magda has to leave her behind. 

She doesn't mind at all, but it's yet another reminder to Magda how lucky she is to be so compatible with Pernille. 

They have the same drive. The same ambition. The same commitment to improving. The same winning mentality. 

It's refreshing to have someone match your energy like that. 

Magda swings by her apartment to pick her up as usual.

But it's on the drive to training she notices something is different. 

Pernille's nervous. 

Her leg has been bouncing furiously since the moment she sat into the car. 

The conversation has been normal, but Magda's also caught her glancing over more than before.

Considering just how comfortable they've gotten with each other, it's strange to see her on edge like this.

Magda plans to ask her about it when she's stopped driving, so she can give her full attention to the problem.

She doesn't get the chance. 

Exiting the car and walking through the car park, Magda's quickly replying to a text from Frido, when Pernille calls her name.

Magda looks up. 

Pernille's staring straight ahead when she speaks. 

"Today."

She says it with finality.

Her expression remaining rather stoic. 

Which confuses the hell out of Magda.

She scrunches her nose and tries to figure it out.

Nope, drawing a blank here. 

"Today?"

Pernille responds by turning her head and giving Magda a very purposeful once over.

The weight of her gaze as she drags it down Magda's body should be illegal. 

There's no room for misinterpretation. 

Oh.

OH.

Magda's heart rate spikes immediately.

She takes a moment to process it, before turning to nod at Pernille. 

"Today," she agrees, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice.

Pernille finally lets the mask slip a bit, allowing the smirk to blossom into more of her signature smile, but her stare remains sultry.

It's going to be a long day. 

Magda's glad they're early. 

It gives her time to recover before she's meant to be a fully functioning professional again. 

The first few minutes of drills they do are sloppy, both clearly distracted with lingering thoughts of... Other... Matters. 

Eventually, they snap out of it, letting everything fade away until the only thing on their minds is football.

It's quite a satisfying session in the end. They get some good quality reps in and get their confidence up, feeling good heading into the upcoming session. 

They're just finishing when the rain hits.

A sun shower.

Warm but heavy.

It surprises them. 

With most of the sky still a bright blue, the patch of dark clouds somehow snuck overhead.

It's just bad luck they picked today to train on the pitch furthest from the dressing room. 

Pulling their shirts up to cover their hair, it's a frantic and squealing dash back inside, arriving just as the rain begins to subside. 

A faint rainbow emerging in its place.

It's something to smile about at least. 

That, and the fact that they're not entirely soaked. 

Thankfully their hair is just damp.

The clothes, on the other hand, didn't fare too well. 

Magda gets to her locker and quickly goes about getting out of the wet shorts and socks. 

Once she's put on a fresh set, the training jersey is next to go.

She pulls it off, standing in only her sports bra as she begins searching for the spare.

When she reaches into the back of her locker to fish it out, a slight tightness in her shoulder blade catches her attention. 

She begins stretching it out.

She tries a couple of standing yoga poses, lifting her arms, torso flexing as she stands on her tiptoes to elongate the muscles and reaching as high as possible. 

It works, the minor strain subsides, but she shakes her arms loosely a couple of times for good measure. 

Good as new. 

Business as usual. 

Except it's not. 

She feels Pernille's stare from across the dressing room. 

It's jumping from Magda's face, to her abs, and back to her face. 

It's that look again. 

The dangerous one. 

That makes Magda's mouth dry. 

She simply cocks an eyebrow and tilts her head when Pernille doesn't look away. 

Which seems to work as an invitation, because just like that Pernille's rapidly approaching.

"Can't wait til later?" Magda teases, but the smirk dies on her lips when Pernille throws herself into a kiss. 

They get ever so slightly carried away. 

Forgetting where they are, Pernille's hand roam all the skin on show.

Realising this is probably a sneak peek of what's likely in store later, Magda's busy fantasising about what that will entail. 

They barely hear the door opening. 

It takes just a split second before they jump apart.

But Magda's sure it's a second too late.

Her face is on fire, and she's certain Pernille's is no better. 

She can't believe they were so reckless. 

So much for being professional in the workplace.

They turn back towards the lockers and busy themselves.

Magda doesn't know whether to laugh or cry when she hears who has arrived. 

"Well, well, well," Frido's voice is sickeningly casual. 

Magda easily recognises Jennie's laugh accompanying it. 

She steals a glance at Pernille who has her eyes closed and mouthed what Magda believes to be 'Fuck'. 

Play it off. Play it off.

Give nothing away. 

Maybe they didn't see it. 

This teasing would be intolerable. They'll never live it down. 

Magda clings to that hope and turns around to greet Frido as casually as she can. 

"Hey," she hates the way her own voice betrays her. 

She's never sounded so fake in her life.

But she commits to it. 

Keeping her chin high and features schooled.

Frido steps nearer. 

And if she hadn't seen it for herself, a half glance at Magda is all it takes to confirm.

She leans in to not so subtly whisper, "You couldn't look more guilty if you tried."

Magda takes a second too long to come up with a response other than a weak denial, so Frido turns her attention elsewhere.

"P?"

Pernille doesn't turn around, continuing to fiddle with the towel in front of her. 

"Hm...?" 

Frido takes the liberty of sliding into her view, pausing for so long Pernille starts to squirm under the stare. 

Frido loves it.

You can see it in the way she's dragging it out, enjoying the show. 

She looks away for a couple of seconds and animatedly squints into the distance with furrowed eyebrows as if confused, before turning her face back and she delivering the statement deadpan. 

"That's my locker." 

Pernille's hands freeze midair and Magda has to bite hard on her lip to keep from laughing at the helpless deer in headlights pose.

Pernille clears her throat and nods a couple of times. 

"Right. OK." 

She practically scurries away, avoiding eye contact. 

As more teammates start to arrive, Frido turns back to Magda, with a look that could be described as... Respect? 

"Perfect little Magda breaking the rules hm? Didn't think you had it in ya champ," she gives her a rough slap on the back before reaching down to hand her the training top.

All Magda can mumble is a pathetic 'Shut up.' 

After a few moments, she chances a glance at Pernille. 

The initial embarrassment of getting caught doing something they shouldn't have seems to be fading. 

Pernille's sheepishly smiling back with an expression that says she's not all that sorry.

Magda throws a wink and goes about getting ready for the session.

It goes as well as Magda could have hoped. 

The wet surface means everyone makes a couple of mistakes so even if she and Pernille were distracted, it wouldn't have been obvious. 

They shower and get dressed. 

Magda's at a clear disadvantage here. 

Pernille, knowing the plans for the evening ahead of time, packed accordingly. 

Magda raises an eye at the outfit choice. 

Blue jean shorts and an off the shoulder sheer white tee-shirt. Magda can see the red straps of her bra from across the room. 

Her legs look especially amazing. 

The best Magda can do is a pair of black leggings and a blue button-down shirt she happened to have in her locker.

She despises the wrinkles in it but it's not like she has any better options.

They nod at each other and say goodbye to their teammates, heading to the car in relative silence. 

"Do you want to go out for dinner?" 

Magda has to ask. 

Chivalry and all that. 

Even if she doesn't really like the idea of having to dress up for a fancy restaurant, and potentially delay events, she'll happily do it if Pernille wants to.

Whatever the choice, they're genuinely starving after training, so skipping it isn't an option. 

Fortunately for her, they seem to be on the same page. 

"Can we just cook something at home instead?" 

"Of course."

They already have the ingredients for a chicken salad, so Magda whips it up without a fuss.

She finds her heart rate spike any time she thinks of what will soon happen, but she focuses on her salad and the normalcy of their daily routine. 

Neither of them has mentioned it explicitly. 

Not that they need to, the dark looks and wandering eyes are enough.

Pernille takes the plates to the sink and returns brandishing a bottle of rosé. 

"Rosé?" 

"Non-alcoholic... I know. I wish we could have some sort of fine wine for the occasion but I figured we should keep it sensible." 

Magda has no complaints, pouring them a generous glass each. 

They cuddle in together on the couch to sip it, some nineties rom-com playing passively in the background.

Once her glass is empty, Magda doesn't miss the way Pernille sneakily pulls a packet of mints out of her pocket and eats one. 

A gentle elbow is enough to convince her to share, handing one to Magda with a sheepish look

"Thanks... Dork." 

That earns her an elbow right back.

She can always count on Pernille to give as good as she gets.

"What's in the bag?" 

Pernille cranes her neck when she spots it tucked into the far corner where Magda left it earlier. 

"Don't worry about it."

It's not like Magda's had it packed and in her car since their conversation the other night. 

Pernille isn't satisfied with that answer, moving to get off the couch and investigate.

A distraction is necessary. 

That's when Magda makes the decision to kick things off.

In a very unique way.

"Did you take my phone?"

Pernille turns at the abrupt question, watching as Magda searches under the couch cushions. 

"No?" 

"Shit, I can't find it," Magda feigns distress, searching more frantically. 

"I didn't see you with it recently." 

Pernille moves to help, scanning the floor and checking on the kitchen countertops. 

"Actually, maybe it's in the car?" 

"I'll check for you," Pernille volunteers, already grabbing the keys. 

Too easy. 

"Check in my gear bag in the back first, and if not there, maybe it's under the front seat," Magda carefully instructs. 

"Got it," Pernille heads out the door.

Time to shine. 

The second the door shuts, Magda lunges for the mystery gear bag and gets to work. 

The search will take Pernille approximately two minutes. 

It's enough time for Magda to spread the rose petals on the bed, and light no less than seven candles.

She'd like more time to carefully arrange them to her liking, but there's more to be done. 

She pulls her phone out from where she'd hidden it behind the TV cabinet, and a few seconds later an acoustic playlist spills softy from the Bluetooth speaker as she places it on the bedside table. 

With the curtains closed, it makes for a glowing atmosphere. 

Almost reverent.

Magda's nearly out of breath from her burst of action, but she shoves the now empty gear bag in the corner as she hears footsteps. 

Pernille appears at the bedroom door just moments after, holding the rose with Magda's handwritten note 'You can come back inside now :)'. 

What can Magda say... She was always a planner.

Maybe it was a bit presumptions to be putting a fresh rose under the car seat every morning.

Just in case. 

Well look at her now.

The Queen of romance. 

Standing in her jean shorts, Pernille surveys the room, confusion soon melting to awe.

Her eyes jump from the rose petals, to the candles, and then finally, they rest on Magda.

"So this is what you meant by 'make it special.' "

Pernille leans a shoulder against the door frame, as Magda takes her in. 

The slant of her collar bone in that shirt catches the candle shadows wonderfully at the slight movement.

Even the way her face seems to glow in the soft light, bright and beautiful. 

She's stunning. 

Magda slowly approaches, never breaking the powerful eye contact. 

Stopping just in front of her, she slowly reaches down to wrap her fingers in Pernille's belt loops, pulling her closer until their bodies are flush.

She's sure Pernille can feel her heart beating out of her chest at that moment. 

Holding her eyes, Magda readjusts her hands, slipping them just under the tee-shirt hem, thumbs tracing along Pernille's defined hip bones.

It causes a slight shudder under her touch. 

Closing her eyes, she leans in, inching her lips as close to Pernille's as possible, but careful not to let them touch.

Then she waits.

To put Pernille in control.

To reassure her.

She wants Pernille to know it'll happen on her terms. 

Magda will happily lead, but only as long as Pernille wants to follow.

Luckily for her, Pernille closes the distance. 

And she makes it clear from the outset that she's all in. 

From that very first hitch of breath, Magda's a goner.

As someone who always thought the word 'adoration' referred to a type of emotion, she soon learns it can be used to describe a physical encounter.

An act of worship. 

She's never experienced anything that felt so intimate.

So personal.

It's different, with Pernille. 

The feelings involved.

The attraction. 

The connection.

The trust.

The passion. 

It's something otherworldly. 

The reverence of each touch transformed the night into what Magda can only articulate as a sacred experience. 

Everything about it was perfect. 

The tenderness in their whispers. The gentle guidance of hands. The accidental headbutt they laughed off.

The caring for each other throughout.

Even the euphoria of the aftermath.

Pernille's giggles of amazement.

Then her pride at how easily she could render Magda undone.

Their inability to stop smiling. 

The way they fall asleep like that. 

With rosy cheeks in bedsheets. 

Wrapped in each other's arms. 

Magda's new favourite feeling.

She's content. 

Until she wakes up thinking she's been shot. 

Jumping into action, she's on her feet looking for the threat when she notices the bed is empty. 

The blaring alarm that woke her seems to be coming from inside the apartment. 

Worried about Pernille's whereabouts, she hastily pulls on the nearest shorts and tee-shirt before dashing towards the action.

Following the alarm, it's easy to locate her. 

Magda finds her in the kitchen, surrounded by a cloud of black smoke.

Magda, still half asleep, blinks slowly trying to comprehend the scene of chaos. 

Pernille's in underwear and Magda's shirt from yesterday, helplessly fanning a teatowel at the smoke alarm.

Magda rushes in to turn on the oven extractor fan, before grabbing a chair and climbing up to hit the button that plunges the apartment into blissful silence. 

First thing's first. 

"Are you alright?" 

"Yeah."

"OK. OK good." 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." 

"It's fine."

Magda's still a bit disorientated, words come slowly, her brain not managing to wake up yet. 

Pernille nods, angling her body awkwardly to hide something on the counter.

Magda can still see small wisps of smoke rising behind her.

"What's burning?" 

"Um..."

"Pernille!" 

"... My desire for you?" 

Pernille's wince as she said it told Magda she understood it really wasn't the time for jokes. But she tried it anyway.

Can't fault her humour, even in the face of a crisis. 

"Nice try, move."

Magda steps forward to see the cremated remnants of what she assumed was meant to be toast. 

"What happened?" 

Pernille sighs and looks sadly at the plate. 

"I wanted to make you breakfast in bed and... Well, I forgot to take out the toast." 

"What were you making?" 

"Avocado and poached egg... on toast." 

Magda looks further down the counter to see perfectly prepared avocado and eggs. 

Warmth rises in her chest when she realises how quintessentially Pernille this is. 

"And out of those three things, the toast was your downfall?" 

She can finally start laughing now, and Pernille bumps her shoulder and tells her to 'Fuck off'.

"I just forgot to adjust the timer. It wasn't done enough the first time so I put it back in and well, never took it back out." 

"Thanks for breakfast." 

"Yeah yeah, whatever." 

"Really. It's sweet." 

"It's burnt." 

"We can fix it." 

Magda puts down a fresh batch of toast, making sure to lower the timer, before turning around and pulling Pernille into a kiss that naturally evolves into a hug. 

They're gently rocking back and forth in the kitchen, faces nuzzled into each other's neck. 

Magda thinks about how nice it is just to hold her close.

Especially after last night.

As far as she's concerned, any amount of space between them is too much now.

She's addicting. 

The way their bodies seem to fit perfectly together. 

Even just the affection Magda feels from the innocent embrace of this moment. 

Lungs threatening to cough because of the lingering smoke. 

But Magda wouldn't want to be burning toast with anyone else. 

And that's it, isn't it?

That's everything. 

That feeling of contentment lasts all day. 

They don't bother getting dressed. 

Except for when Magda has to answer the door to the delivery man and collect their dinner.

Time spent cooking today would have been... Well... Time wasted.

It's late in the evening when Pernille decides to take a shower, so Magda finally gets a moment to herself. 

She sees a missed call from her mom.

Magda decides now is as good a time as any.

She calls her sister first.

When she picks up, Magda can hear the laboured breathing. 

"I'm in the middle of a run, this better be good."

"I'll let you decide," Magda smirks and picks at a thread in the couch. 

"What's up?"

"I'm pretty sure you saw this coming, but I'm calling to tell you anyway."

"Okkkkk?"

"Pernille and I are together," she can't stop smiling as she confesses it.

There's a sharp intake of breath. 

"FUCK YES! I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT."

"Yeah, you weren't exactly subtle with your hints."

"Well neither were you! I've been waiting for weeks for you to finally call me with the news."

"I know, but we've only been like, officially together, since Saturday."

"Saturday? What the fuck took you so long?"

"Things were... Complicated. Plus, I didn't want to jump the gun and tell you before it was like, a sure thing."

"Well I'm DELIGHTED to finally hear it. Plus, might I add, great choice Magda, she's way out of your league so I applaud you for managing to pull that off."

Ah yes, only a sister can support and tease you in the same sentence.

"Thanks... I think."

She video calls her mom and dad straight after, figuring she might as well keep the ball rolling and share the good news.

Both their faces pop up on the screen, just a little too close, but she's learned to accept that parents just have a talent for always being slightly out of frame.

Once they've settled the usual greetings, her mother asks the ideal question. 

"Any news with you?"

"Yes, actually."

"Oh?"

They both lean in an unnecessary fraction more to listen.

"I have a girlfriend."

Her parents share a look before turning back to the screen.

There are coy smiles. 

"Magda don't take this the wrong way-" her dad begins, "but if it's not Pernille I'm going to be pretty devastated." 

She laughs at the threat. 

"Good thing it is then," she can't control how wide her smile is, giving her father a wink.

They beam back at her. 

Then begin talking over each other. 

'Aww, honey-'

'-such a nice girl'

'so humble and hardworking-'

'-great influence'

'-you'll be good for each other-' 

And several more minutes of congratulations, her mom has a suggestion. 

"What days do you have off next week?" 

"Um, I think Tuesday and Wednesday, why?" 

"You should come to visit!"

Magda's dad is quick to piggy-back on the idea. 

"And bring Pernille! You could show her around the city." 

"I don't think she's ever seen Stockholm properly actually," Magda muses aloud, considering the proposal.

"Perfect!" her mom claps and her father nods approvingly, as if it's already decided. 

Well then. 

"Alright, I'll ask her." 

"Wonderful! And tell her how excited we are for you two!" 

"I will." 

When Pernille emerges from her shower, Magda pitches the offer. 

"Up for a road trip next week?"

Pernille is surprised at the randomness of the suggestion but squints curiously nonetheless. 

"To where?" 

"Stockholm." 

"For?" 

"The Erikssons are dying to meet you. Again."

Magda's already dreading the embarrassing stories they're guaranteed to dredge up. 

But the thought of showing Pernille her childhood home, and the place she grew up, is very appealing.

There's something beautiful about the idea of sharing her past with someone she really believes could be her future.

It'll be an opportunity to open up and offer more of herself to Pernille.

She's excited to do it. 

She just hopes Pernille likes what she finds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well?
> 
> I'd love to hear what you guys think!
> 
> Took a while to write because it's a sensitive topic, and being respectful was my biggest priority. I hope I pulled it off ok!
> 
> Thanks for reading x
> 
> (sorry for any typos I'll try hunt them down tomorrow)


	15. There's Grace In Acceptance, And Integrity In Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance for any typos, I'll proofread more later.

They're racing. 

Descending at gravity's pace.

Nothing between them.

It's too close for Pernille to call a winner. 

The speed of air rushing past forces both the raindrops to improvise, taking an intricate diagonal route across the car window.

Losing momentum with each millimeter covered, they're dwindling.

They won't make it. 

She's kinda disappointed. 

Her bored interest had grown invested to see the outcome. 

But just as they're beginning to dissipate, something wonderful happens. 

They merge.

And the single stream is enough to carry them the remaining distance. 

Having traveled the lonely but gallant journey across the glass, a final act of solidarity means they end together in triumph.

It's easy to draw the similarities.

Driven individuals. 

But better together.

Her and Magda are a lot like that.

A team.

Even now, as they speed towards Stockholm, Magda's driving peacefully, having encouraged Pernille to get some sleep.

She needs it. 

Resting her temple against the cool glass, she closes her eyes, before releasing a long breath. 

The summer humidity inside the car feels like an embrace, coaxing her body into surrender.

The radio is oozing something old.

Jazz, maybe. 

Pernille takes comfort in it's lazy rhythm, her spine melting further into the seat.

She allows it.

Finally.

The advancing tiredness yawns in victory.

Tendrils of exhaustion claw at her body.

She surrenders, turning to dead weight.

But her mind isn't yet willing to rest. 

So she instead uses the opportunity to think.

It's the first time she's had a moment all week. 

To pause. 

Be still.

Reflect.

And my, what a week it's been. 

It started with the buildup.

The unbearable tension.

It was no secret what the next step of their relationship was going to be. 

But even if it was with Magda, there was always going to be a certain kind of nervous energy.

Such is the nature of these types of things.

Those emotions are all part of the experience. 

Because it's a significant moment.

An opportunity. 

To finally show Magda in physical terms exactly how she felt about her. 

So Pernille did everything she could think of to best prepare herself.

She wanted to make sure she had the right skills for an 'impressive' performance. 

Google was consulted. Despite the somewhat... graphic diagrams that she should've known better than to click into in public, it was generally quite helpful. 

What it did more than anything was confirm the pretty accurate idea of things that she already had.

That reaffirmation left her with enough confidence to outweigh any lack of experience.

The only reason she hesitated on the couch the evening of their date was the timing. 

Despite the months of tension, it still somehow felt a little rushed in that moment. 

She went from board games, to an argument, to Magda's lap, all in the space of a few moments.

It left her just a small bit disorientated. 

Until Magda pointed out where Pernille's hands had wandered, she hadn't actually realized the line she was crossing. 

The added threat of Frido returning home at any moment meant they couldn't relax properly either.

It was all just a bit too spontaneous for Pernille's liking. 

It deserved it's own moment.

Magda's handling of the situation was faultless once again. 

A perfect demonstration of her unwavering patience.

It was just Pernille's luck the way Wednesday unfolded. A day so exhausting you end up just wanting it to be over.

But it haunted her. Having had even just a taste of that feeling. It was addictive. She replayed it over and over in her mind.

By the time Thursday morning came, her impatience was at a breaking point. 

A rather teasing conversation with Louise was the perfect punctuation of her decision. 

'Have you...?' Louise had trailed off that morning, a suggestive eyebrow raise finishing her sentence for her.

The type of question only a sister would ask so boldly. 

It wasn't a big discussion. 

When someone knows you so well, it's easy to get to the important things.

You know what they need to hear.

Ever since they were kids, Louise always knew the right thing to say. 

'You're putting too much pressure on yourself, aren't you? Stop it.' 

Of course she could predict that Pernille, striving to be good at everything in life, would let the high standards for herself extend to this.

Having it called out like that helped Pernille acknowledge it could've been a factor previously. 

Along with Louise's joke 'Plus it's Magda, I think you'd have to be pretty terrible for her to consider breaking up with you over it.' 

Fair point. 

If there had been any doubts in her mind, that rational outside perspective would've surely quelled them. 

But by then, there wasn't.

Pernille had already decided it was time.

She didn't want to wait any longer. 

She felt truly ready.

In the end, despite all her research and late-night strategizing, things seemed to just happen by themselves. 

It came naturally.

Their genuine understanding of each other shone through in their actions.

And in the days that followed, increasing familiarity meant their connection only grew stronger. 

Each experience better than the last.

A steep learning curve, but one Pernille takes unspeakable enjoyment in studying. 

Practice makes perfect, right? 

Recalling the sensation of lips on her neck... And elsewhere... causes her eyes to flutter open in the present, glancing over to find Magda's side profile. 

The now-familiar tightening in her lower stomach quickly prompts her to look away and change topic.

Instead she shifts uncomfortably in her seat, stretching her legs in the space available. 

She feels the physical memory of yesterday's match clinging to her muscles. 

Tightness, still.

It was a bit of a kick in the teeth just how sore she is after a substitute appearance. 

It was great to get some minutes of course, and a fantastic feeling to be back out there.

But there's a lot left to do. 

The ever-coveted match fitness is still something she has to work towards. 

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a bit frustrated. 

Magda, having been a little further ahead in her recovery due to the less severe injury, was lucky enough to play the whole game. 

Smart positioning and the support of her backline meant she even played really well on her return. 

The naive part of Pernille hadn't given up hope that she too would be back full throttle.

But with her game built so much on speed and stamina, it's left her with a high standard to reattain. 

She wants nothing more than to sprint on the treadmill until her lungs bleed, in an effort to stress her body back into peak condition. 

But it's not something she can out work.

Fitness is a process. 

Proper rest is part of the ongoing rehab plan. 

So she has to suck it up and follow orders from the people who know better than her. 

Easier said than done, but she's trying. 

The trip is a nice way to take her mind off it. 

Even this morning, the second their recovery session was over, her mind snapped straight back to the trip. 

It's not her first time meeting the Erikssons.

But it's her first time meeting them as 'her girlfriend's parents'. 

Her. Girlfriend's. Parents. 

There's like an entirely different rule book for what makes a good impression when you're the girlfriend.

It's important she makes a good one. 

Well, technically it'll be her second 'first' impression. 

She hadn't really had time to be nervous about it until packing after the game last night.

Now, on the way, the traces of anxiety start to build, along with her hope that it goes well. 

It's the afternoon when they arrive. 

She tries to take it all in. 

The suburbs whipping past the window were somewhat of a blur.

Magda teasing her about her 'unnecessary' nervousness doesn't help matters.

So Pernille focuses on her surroundings. 

It's a nice neighborhood. 

She can tell because it's obvious the landscape receives a lot of love.

Even with her limited knowledge of Stockholm, Pernille can also sense the location is really central.

A quick peek at Google maps tells her it's probably as close as you can get to the city and still have standalone family homes like this one. 

Now, staring up at the white house sitting proudly on the street corner, Pernille can feel the sense of curiosity growing.

So many new details to absorb. 

But she barely has time to stretch her legs before Magda's parents are appearing into the driveway to welcome them.

There are wide smiles and cheerful greetings all round.

Björn Eriksson is quick to sweep his daughter clean off the ground in a crushing hug. 

Pernille is smiling at Magda's childlike giggle when she has to deal with a situation of her own. 

As Harriet Eriksson approaches, there's just the slightest hesitation on Pernille's part about how to greet her. 

A handshake would be weird. Too formal. 

But just standing there like an idiot would be worse. 

She's thankful when Harriet makes the decision for her, gladly stepping into her outstretched arms to accept the embrace. 

Pernille has always liked Magda's mother. 

She's warm. Disarming. 

The constant soft smile paired with her signature glasses makes for a very wholesome sight. 

Not to mention the caring motherly streak that had shone through any time Pernille's met her. 

Even though they were just friends back then, that didn't stop Harriet insisting Pernille borrow her gloves at a particularly cold home match. Or the way she always subtly checked her over for injuries after the more rough games.

When she asks you how you are, like right now, she actually wants to know the answer. 

Such thoughtfulness is a beautiful quality to have, and Pernille's under no illusions where Magda got her sensitive side from.

Björn is next to entrap her in a giant bear hug, not too dissimilar to the one Magda received. 

He makes sure to get a few kind words in, as if he wasn't literally welcoming her with open arms. 

When she pulls away she can see Magda embracing her mother, but still managing to watch with amusement at how she's handling the situation.

Pernille isn't at all displeased by the intense welcome. 

But there's one thing she's noticed. 

They've never hugged her like this before. 

Maybe after winning a match or something, but never in greeting. 

New beginnings. 

It's the first indication of her new status in the family. 

She likes it. 

Once they drop their bags in the hall, Pernille follows them into the sitting room, happy to fade into the background and let the family catch up. 

Magda immediately throws herself down onto an armchair, kicking off her shoes and tucking her feet up underneath. 

The other Eriksson's sit back into the couch, attention focused on their daughter as she rants about their journey, specifically the driver that came just a little too close to hitting them.

There's a couple of slightly exaggerated details that clear them of any wrongdoing, like the fact Magda was staring at Pernille for a beat too long, but she decides not to comment. 

While that tale is being told, she does the worst thing possible. 

She loiters. 

She can't help it.

She just hovers at the edge of the room, not wanting to interrupt Magda with her question. 

So she stands there as awkwardly as possible.

And hates herself for it.

Until Magda finishes her story with a glance at Pernille, and eyes narrow as she does a double-take. 

"Sit down," she offers a sweep of her hand at the available seats. 

But Pernille doesn't move. 

She can't hold it any longer, she really has to go. 

Two hours in a car chugging water to rehydrate was always going to come back to bite her. 

They're all looking at her now. At her strange hesitation. 

The parents just look curious. Magda looks highly confused.

Pernille feels awkward asking just after arriving, but needs must. 

"Uhh, actually... can I use the bathroom first please?"

Magda's face changes in realisation, and she's out of her seat in a flash. 

"Oh sorry, of course, follow me." 

She guides Pernille down and points at a door. 

"Thanks," she smiles sheepishly. 

Turns out Magda needs to go too, so when Pernille's finished, she returns to the sitting room to find Björn alone, now occupying an armchair. 

He offers her an easy grin.

Pernille's always found his presence to be effortless. Björn is just the type of person that's easy to be around. 

Full of life, but not boisterous. Always a glint in his eye, never far from cracking a joke.

He can talk about anything. 

But right now, predictably enough, he just wants to talk about football. 

They go over the game at the weekend, how it felt to get back out there, how the team coped without them, and how she fits into the slightly new system they've adopted since her injury.

He's more enthusiastic than usual, and that's saying something.

But the familiar discussions with him allows her to relax a bit. 

Magda arrives a couple of minutes later and plonks into the couch beside her, easily slotting into the conversation.

Their knees are touching. 

And it's a small thing. 

But Magda's physical support is yet another reminder of how little she has to worry about. 

"Tea or Coffee, Pernille?" Harriet calls from the kitchen, before appearing in the doorway to eagerly collect the answer. 

They're on edge too, Pernille thinks. 

If she's reading it right, it feels like they're excited. 

"Coffee, please. Thanks." 

Please and thanks. One probably would've sufficed, but she's leaving nothing to chance.

Parents love manners, right?

That's 'good impression' 101.

She rubs her eyes and tries to keep focused.

She's grasping at straws here. The tiredness of the week slowly sinking her concentration. Coffee will save her. 

It'll stop her from making a fool of herself.

The second it's handed to her, she realizes her mistake. 

She can already tell through the mug that it's three times too hot. 

She forgot to ask for extra milk.

Her own fault. 

She doesn't want to be a brat and come off as high maintenance, so she holds it quietly, deciding to wait for it to cool. 

As Magda is about to sit back down with her own cup, offering a plate of homemade pastries, a passing glance is what triggers it. 

She must note the colour, because she wordlessly takes the cup from Pernille's hand and disappears back into the kitchen, returning a few seconds later with the coffee made just how she likes it.

Pernille smiles her silent thanks. 

She receives a casual wink in response. 

Magda's becoming more and more of a specialist at putting her at ease.

When Harriet comes back to join them, easily chiming into the conversation, Pernille slowly starts to see the light. 

There was no need for nerves.

Once she stops thinking so much about trying to make a perfect impression, she realizes how happy she is to spend time with Magda's parents. 

They're fun to be around.

She starts to enjoy herself more. 

Once they've finished, Pernille offers to help wash up, but the severity of the protests leave her taken aback. 

"Absolutely not," Harriet was first-in, "you're our guest." 

Her silent plea for Magda to intervene goes ignored, and Pernille is instead directed to follow Magda upstairs to their room. 

As Magda's about to open the door, she tosses a statement over her shoulder. 

"Mom asked if we wanted the guest room, or mine. I hope this is alright." 

It's an unusual sensation. 

Stepping into Magda's childhood bedroom. 

To see her drop the bags so casually, already knowing exactly where everything should go. 

The way she can open a drawer and find exactly what she wants. 

How she doesn't spare a second glance at the decor, but Pernille's eyes are frantically taking it all in.

You can tell she doesn't live here anymore, but there's still plenty of character dotted around the room.

There's a trophy corner. With medals and awards neatly stacked on shelves. It looks awfully similar to the one in Pernille's own bedroom in Denmark. A staple of every teenage footballer. 

Then there's a couple of football posters, very neatly hung with white tape. 

And finally, there's a desk with a pile of notepads, all worn. A reminder that when Magda last occupied this room, she was still a school student. 

It's odd to look at Magda now and picture her five years younger, sitting at the desk doing homework before training... With immaculately neat notes no doubt. 

It's not the Magda she knows, but it's intriguing to think about all the different versions of her that led to this point. 

She isn't alone in finding the entire experience unusual. 

"It's weird."

Pernille turns to Magda, watching her nose scrunching up as she tilts her head to the side. 

"What is?" 

Magda shrugs and looks around the room. 

"Seeing you here. It's like two completely different worlds." 

"I mean... If I'm ruining your aesthetic I can always leave..." 

Magda throws her an unimpressed look.

"If you told sixteen year old me I'd have a football player girlfriend in my room, let alone a Danish one, I'd probably have fainted." 

Pernille is laughing hard at the image of a young and flustered teen Magda.

"I doubt it. I bet you had game back then." 

"I can assure you... I absolutely did not." 

"Well. Luckily for me, you seem to have evolved since then." 

Magda makes a show of changing her body language to be more alluring. 

She fixes her with a sultry stare that's so intense it leaves Pernille shifting on the spot. 

"Stop looking at me like that." 

Magda doesn't blink.

Just keeps staring, with sinful eyes, dragging themselves up Pernille's body. 

"Seriously, stop," Pernille half begs. 

But Magda instead moves deliberately closer. 

Pernille notices a new detail. 

"And why are you biting your lip?" 

Magda gets oh so close to Pernille's mouth, before whispering. 

"Because I'm thinking about you biting it for me." 

The way Pernille's stomach drops should be illegal.

Her face must show her fluster, it leaves Magda bent at the waist laughing at the effect she had. 

"I didn't think that'd actually work! I guess you're right... I do have game," a peck on the cheek and she's heading back downstairs, Pernille recovering enough to follow her. 

They have dinner in the evening, with the addition of Amanda who'd been at school. 

Pernille knows where Magda got the cooking gene, the dinner table is a gorgeous spread of homecooked food. 

Amanda at least has the decency to keep her teasing until after dinner. 

She's first to break out the best stories of Magda as a child, dwelling on the particularly embarrassing ones that leave her sister blushing behind a cushion. 

Falling asleep in Magda's bed that night, Pernille is content.

Delighted with how the day went, feeling energised from being in the Eriksson's company. 

It even feels a little bit like home. 

They have the house to themselves next morning, Magda's parents at work, and Amanda at school. 

After getting breakfast, Pernille stands in the hall while Magda raids her sister's room for a spare hair tie. 

Waiting to head to the park for a quick cardio session, Pernille takes the time to study the pictures adorning the hall.

It's laid out in order. A clear progression of the journey. 

Magda's young in the first ones. Swimming in the oversized football kit, the toothy smile already her signature pose.

The most prominent feature is a frizzy bob of shiny blonde hair. 

The earliest images are adorable, the ball looking ridiculous in proportion to her tiny frame. 

Then she starts to develop height.

Looking more athletic as she progresses through the underage teams, she always seemed to have a defender's build. 

But what really fascinates Pernille, is that you can see it. 

She becomes more and more recognizable. 

The evolution to who she has become. 

The way her posture changes.

Shoulders are pulled back. 

The tilt of her chin. 

The focus in her eyes. 

Pernille watches the authority grow with each picture. 

The confidence. 

She lets a small laugh to her herself at the action shots. 

The improvement in technique that comes with age is so clear, it's like two entirely different people.

It's weird to see youth pictures for a different nation.

Magda always seems to look just a little more intense anytime she was in a Sweden shirt. 

It's the same in any picture with Amanda, you can just tell she took her role as big sister very seriously. 

A maturity radiates from her features. 

"Were you always such a serious child?" 

She barks a laugh when she sees the one Pernille's pointing to, so focused she's almost scowling. 

"Generally, yes. I guess I was very driven. And anything that took away from my goals, was, well... frowned upon."

"You've changed so much," Pernille rolls her eyes at how early Magda showed the signs of being the ultimate professional she is now. 

"Come on, let's get this over with." 

Boots in hand, they're almost at Magda's old local youth pitch when her phone rings. 

She doesn't recognize the number, and Pernille has to contain her snort at Magda's fake 'professional' phone voice as she answers. 

Only hearing one side, she can still tell it's great news. 

Magda's smile gives that much away. 

When she gets off the phone, she's calm for a second... Before going absolutely ballistic. 

A violent victory dance with fist pumps and gritty mutters of 'YES!'.

Pernille is slapping her for the answer, shouting "WHAT? WHAT IS IT?". 

A deep breath and Magda gathers herself. 

Disbelief etched across her face. 

"I've been called up." 

To the national team. 

Pernille doesn't need the elaboration before her arms are squeezing her excitement through Magda, both dropping their boots in the process.

She is so so happy for her.

They knew she was on the cusp. 

There was a chance she would've made the last squad if she had been fit. 

But after the injury, the comeback performance, she deserves it. 

Her first call up to the senior team. 

A momentous career milestone. 

Pernille was there in her darker moments of the last few weeks. She witnessed the dedication. The resilience. The strength. 

So now she shares in the joy. 

"I'm so proud of you. Seriously. I can't even express how much you deserve it." 

She's earnest as she confesses it, speaking quietly and wrapping an arm around Magda's torso as they continue the short walk. 

Magda's eyes soften, and she's bashful when offering her thanks. 

Once they reach the pitch only a minute later, Magda calls both her parents with the news. 

She puts it on speakerphone in the grass between them while they're lacing up their boots. 

It's a simple gesture, letting her listen in on the call. 

But it means a lot to Pernille. That Magda doesn't think twice before including her in sharing the good news, trading expressions and laughter at her parent's reactions. 

Frido beats them to the punch calling, shouting about being 'Roomies'.

Eventually, they get back to work, eager to get it out of the way. 

They only need to do a timed 5km to keep fitness up during these couple of days off. 

Run today, rest tomorrow, then straight back training.

They have to slow themselves down on numerous occasions, their watches beeping angrily at the adrenalin clearly upsetting their goal pace. 

But once it's done, the focus goes right back to the big news. 

They decide to celebrate with some sightseeing. 

And that's when it happens 

She's not even doing anything. 

She's literally just walking the streets of Stockholm, pointing out notable landmarks or telling Pernille childhood stores linked to the places they wander through.

Tales of school, of hiding spots, of visiting a new football pitch each weekend.

Nudging Pernille and winking every time she spots a pride flag in the windows of a bar or restaurant.

Pernille watches her. 

Blonde hair stirring gently in the summer breeze, pinned back by sunglasses. 

The way she gestures with her hands, animatedly explaining. 

Even the smoothness of her voice speaking so passionately about her memories. 

But it's the moments in between.

When she looks at Pernille.

All she has to do is look at her.

That's what does it. 

Having Magda's attention, in the bustle of a lively city like this, when there are a thousand other things to look at, is magical.

The way it makes her feel. 

The fondness she has for Magda for just being herself. 

The butterflies and warmth all in one. 

She's no fool. 

It's love.

No doubt in her mind. 

She loves Magda. 

She has for a while. 

When she's grumpy in the morning, hair a mess and eyes squinting from sleep. 

When she's pushing herself to the absolute limit on the field. 

When she's soft, murmuring quietly on the couch, stroking Pernille's skin and being a comforting presence. 

No one gets her like Magda does. 

And Pernille loves her for it.

Loves. Her. 

And today, today she admits it to herself. 

She no longer cares if it's too early to be using that word. 

She isn't even concerned that Magda may not necessarily say it back yet. 

That doesn't matter. 

Because she's sure of what she feels. 

So she chooses the right moment to tell her. 

A quiet park bench overlooking an estuary is given the honour. 

Magda's staring out at the water, sights set on the distance. 

Pernille waits until she looks back at her.

Like she always does.

It's never too long before their eyes always find each other.

She's not even nervous as she says it. 

She's excited to tell her.

So she does. 

Soft, but firm. 

Quietly, but clear. 

"'I love you." 

She has a burst of butterflies as those words enter the world. 

Flitter through the air. 

And reach Magda's ears. 

Pernille's never seen her face light up so instantly. 

She's beaming, but her eyes hold something softer. 

There's a word for that too.

The same one.

"I love you too." 

She takes Pernille's hand and squeezes.

If Pernille thought saying it felt amazing, hearing it from Magda's lips left her heart exploding. 

They meet in the middle for a kiss, sealing their latest confession.

The next few minutes are spent huddled on the bench, both watching the view, as they soak in the feeling of this moment. 

Again, she finds herself thinking of how far they've come. 

Of the love they've grown into. 

Reminiscing on their journey here, she realises there's something small she hasn't yet admitted.

This will be a fun revelation.

Now is as good a time as any. 

"Do you know why I love you?" 

A sappy question, but that's not the intention. 

Magda bites, looking at Pernille's serious face and considering for a second before replying. 

"Mm... why?" 

Pernille gives it the suspense it deserves before dropping the bomb. 

"Because you're you." 

She sees it. 

The moment recognition flashes across Magda's face. 

The flowers she secretly sent, all that time ago. 

"It was you..."

The disbelief in her voice tells Pernille she hadn't realized. 

Pernille can't hide the grin, raising her eyebrows with a shrug. 

"Guilty." 

They start laughing at the ridiculousness of it.

Magda relaying her theories and Pernille detailing her reasoning at the time. 

They eventually grow quiet again, both staring at the water and thinking about it. 

Magda breaks the silence after a minute. 

"Hey Pernille?"

"Yeah?"

She stares for a moment. 

"I'm glad it was you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'There's Grace In Acceptance, And Integrity In Letting Go'
> 
> 18,000 readers. 22 countries. 1 year. 
> 
> What a journey we've had. I'll never be able to thank you enough for the love you've shown this story.
> 
> Hearing what it meant to you, how it made you feel, is one of my proudest achievements.
> 
> It took countless hours of work, but you all made it so worthwhile. 
> 
> It's unfortunate things have to end prematurely like this, but it's the right time to move on. 
> 
> This final chapter was difficult to write in these circumstances, but it's a farewell gift to you, to repay your loyalty and express my gratitude before I step away.
> 
> This is where we end.
> 
> Goodbye friends ❤️ 
> 
> X


End file.
